honest question for people, please don't hate me

  • Thread starter KittenofMelchisedek
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Shawn2516

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
154
1
0
#21
Ok so this is one that can get feathers in a bunch, so let me start by saying that my objective for this thread is to gain insight and understanding that might help me honor God more, and maybe make me a better wife and mother some day. I also have not had a lot of exposure to Christian families and was not raised in one. Anyway, I didn't want you guys to think that I'm bringing this up out of sinful nature. I just want to see if anybody agrees with me, or if I'm wrong maybe get some help and verses to get me on track. OK So I was wondering a couple of things actually.

First, I think that before we are married, we should not even kiss intimately. People say this is legalistic, and I'm not trying to judge anyone or say you are in any way wrong for whatever you may have done during your engagement. My thinking is before we are joined as one flesh, we are brother and sister, and should treat each other as such. Do you guys agree or have thoughts?

Also, do you guys think a man is really the head of the marriage? Or do you take a less literal stance? I'm not saying I want to be barefoot silent in the kitchen, I want to be loved, heard, and partnered with. I also want to feel like a husband will keep me in line a little bit. Keep me on track spiritually, with whatever little reminders were needed, not saying I want a man who's gonna be mean or hurt me, the contrary, but is it appropriate even to expect men to think this behavior is allowed or is it just not anymore? I'm just wondering opinions. I have found it a blessing to submit at appropriate times to my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I'm always rewarded for it. I think the concept gets a bad rep.
Scientific research shows that the sooner you have sex with your partner, the higher chance you are likely to break up and have a divorce. The longer you abstain from sexual encounters, the longer it is likely for you to form a bond of friendship, establishing a strong foundation and a lasting marriage.

Also, I believe a man wants to lead a marriage, the problem is finding wives willing to follow.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#22
Scientific research shows that the sooner you have sex with your partner, the higher chance you are likely to break up and have a divorce. The longer you abstain from sexual encounters, the longer it is likely for you to form a bond of friendship, establishing a strong foundation and a lasting marriage.

Also, I believe a man wants to lead a marriage, the problem is finding wives willing to follow.
Wives? A man should only have one wife. But you're right, there are a lot of women who want to be independent to the endth degree. We both have to sacrifice something to undertake a godly marriage. Guys have to grow a pair, take responsibility and step up to the plate and lead and girls need to pull back and let the guy lead.
 

shawntc

Senior Member
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#23
Wives? A man should only have one wife.
I don't think that needed to be pointed out...

To echo what leelee said, marriage (or relationship, etc.) is a team working for the same goal. A husband and a wife have different but important roles to play in the team.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#24
I don't think that needed to be pointed out...

To echo what leelee said, marriage (or relationship, etc.) is a team working for the same goal. A husband and a wife have different but important roles to play in the team.
You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you can't be too careful to assume anything, even on CC. Too many whackjobs here.
 
K

KittenofMelchisedek

Guest
#25
There are also plenty of women who would love to submit and follow and play her role as one flesh with a loving and GOD FEARING husband. There are far too many people in the world who want to act the role of the other gender. Headstrong, stubborn, willfull women; and weak, effeminate, and whiny men.

Also, interesting observation with the waiting for sex correlating to lasting marriage. There are a lot of studies lately about delaying gratification. Check this out, it's slightly off topic, but this thread isn't going anywhere anyway, and this is so cool.

Joachim de Posada: Don't eat the marshmallow! - YouTube