House Spouses - Answer us!

[notmyown]

here i am barging into Singles again

i worked outside the home maybe ten of the last 36 years, and i missed my kids and they missed me.
i feel for those of you who have no choice in the matter, and my hat's off to all working parents.
as a mom, being at work all i could think about was how things were at home, and when at home i thought a lot about how things were at work. perhaps it's just me, but that divided loyalty was double tough.

parents have to make their own choices, obviously.
but it would be nice if we, as parents, could put our kids before our stuff.

i see my daughter in the midst of the stay-at-home mom struggle, and i am so proud of her.
the sacrifices she's making.... the loneliness, isolation, and boredom she's undergoing for her boys...
simply because no one else loves kids like their parents do.

one income necessitates sacrifice of stuff, too, and that's not a bad lesson for kids to learn.

and again, to all parents--

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

Being both a stay at home married wife and mother, then going to a single mother. I know both worlds. I would prefer to raise my children right according to the Lord. Not the world. I have seen the effect on how it was when I stayed home, and raised them, verse me having to work and not being home. Even as a stay at home mother while my spouse worked. The Lord provided. Our needs was always met. and we bought a home when the economy crashed. It all depends on the persons priories and how they choose to live their life. My family did not suffer from only one income. My children now have suffer from not having their mother home with them. But because I did have that time home with them, I have very strong, stable, kind, compassionate, responsible children. Even after what we went through, they had a solid foundation and have came out better character wise. The Lord is working wonderful in their lives. All I know is how it was for me and my family. God allowed me to raise my children. It is and was better for our family. The pole is interesting, however the Lord's plan for each person is different. What worked for me may not work for others.

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

I personally believe that life is so much more than working 40+ hours a week. Allowing my future spouse the ability to stay home and share amazing life experiences with the children would be one of the greatest gifts I could give her.

On the flip side, are stay at home moms more apt to cheat due to the extra time on their hands? This kind of has me a little worried or maybe it's just my inner pessimist shining through.

My friend that all depends on the persons character. I was a stay at home mother and wife. I guarded my marriage and my integrity. I was never alone with any male not even family friends, and even repair men did not come in my home if my spouse was not there or another person present. No text messages or emails to males, no FB males except family. Yes, sometimes it got lonely, but that was because my spouse did not put me first in his life. He put work, firefighting, and helping buddies, before his family. And he is the one who cheated. If a person has a strong moral character, no matter how bad things get, they will not cheat. I am now single, and been at home due to a wreck for almost a month now, and I no longer am lonely. I have developed a deeper personal relationship with the Lord. I am at far better peace and happiness, than I have been in a long time.

 

[SkittlePumpkin]

Currently, my husband is in school, so I'm the sole source of income. But sometime, I would LOVE to just be a house wife...tend to a big garden, keep the house clean, do all the housey chores, make awesome meals, have babies

...sing and dance with the animals

 

[OneFaith]

I'm old fashioned. You know how an accent color is not most of the main color, but just a hint around the edges? Well that's how I think it should be- the husband should earn the family's income for the most part, if not all of it. And the wife should help gain some income IF and when it is nessesary and possible, and as her last focus. The Bible says she is to look after the affairs of her household- how can she do that if she's working forty hours a week?

What happened was, out of greed, both husband and wife started working while daycares watched (not raised) children (and we know how that turned out). Then prices went up because of others' greed thinking folks can afford to pay more- which left single parents in the poorhouse. I believe men should have short hair, and women long hair. I believe many old fashioned things in the Bible that mankind has twisted and changed. No I don't believe that men should take advantage of their position in abusive ways, which I agree was a problem, a perversion of scripture. But that is not how Christ treats His Bride.

Anytime things are out of balance, disaster happens- either too far this way or too far that way. If one stays home they should be busy at home (cooking, cleaning, teaching, filing papers, laundry, errands, etc. I witnessed a disaster of a stay at home mom, which I thought was shameful. She ate a bucket of chicken in front of me, and threw the bucket on the floor. Her kids always asked her to teach them how to draw (she drew like an artist), but she would only play computer games all day. Her husband came home from work and started cooking dinner. He had bought paper plates so that he'd have less dishes to do- disgraceful!

They had three bedrooms, one full to the ceiling with junk, while the brother and sister shared a room. I cleaned it out, rearranged furniture, washed bedding, cleaned and organized their toys, and gave them each their own room. When I cleaned the living room they were so excited about empty floor space they kept running in circles. How could I show God's love to help this family, and take care of my own family, if I was working all the time?

 

[Lynx]

OneFaith: That last paragraph would explain your avatar.

 

[Miri]

I would never want to be married to a house

 

[Lynx]

I would never want to be married to a house

I would snicker at this but I don't like snickers...

*Lynx kit-kats.