How do you beat the human disguise when finding a life partner?

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spunkycat08

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#21
OP:

Your post makes me think of a former female friend of my husband and her mom.

My husband met her in 2011. She was a neighbor of his. She was born in 1983.

My husband is a Christian, and she told him that she was one as well.

She came from a very religious family. Her father was a preacher. Her mom wanted her to meet a nice Christian guy.

She knew all about the Bible and its teachings. She was very involved with her Church during the week and on Sunday's.

However, there were many red flag flags regarding her and her behavior.

According to my husband, when she moved into the apartment complex he lived at, she chose to do whatever she wanted to do and act however she wanted to act because she was away from her Mom, who was very controlling.

The two of them were neighbors at first, but it progressed into more on her end. However, he did not want the same thing she wanted.

All of this happened before and while while we were dating each-other.

She was involved in a dating situation with one my husband's male friends. According to my husband it was not a relationship. The two of them just hung out together at his place.

One day while my husband was getting his male, she saw him, and she asked him if he had time to come over to her place so she could talk to him about something. He went over to her place later that night.

Turns out while she and my husband's male friend were alone at his place, he sexually violated her. She was upset about that, and she wanted his help understanding why it happened. My husband agreed to help her but only as a friend. She said OK to that.

He gave her his phone number, and he showed her how to text.

But she wanted more.

She would call him or text him to help her with any problem she had
She invited him over to her place twice to have dinner, listen to music, watch a movie, or to help her with her homework. She was going to school at the time. According to my husband, he was never interested in her romantically because there was no connection between them. He did not feel any type of connection when the two of them spent time together at her place.

A specific incident which stood out was the time she invited him over to her place for dinner on a Saturday night. She also wanted his help with her homework. It was late at night, and so she suggested that he sleep on her couch while she slept in her bed. He agreed. But she had several kittens which kept him up, and so early in the morning he quietly left her place to go back to her place. The following day she knocked on his door demanding to know why he left her place. He told her because her kittens kept him up and he could not sleep. So he went back to his place. But she would not accept his answer. She was mad.

Whenever the two of them would spend time together, she would either invite him over to her place or she would go to his place because she wanted to watch a movie he had or play a video game he had.

A couple of times when she was at his place she told him that she had to use his bathroom, and each time this happened, she left her bra on the bathroom floor. He noticed that after she left his place. So he would call her and tell her that she left her bra on his bathroom floor. Her response was "I did not know that happened." There was also the time when she left her underwear on his bathroom floor smelling like perfume. He called her to let her know that she left her underwear on his bathroom floor. Same response from her. While she was behaving like this the two of us started dating. He told her that he had a girlfriend. Her reply was "Ok... whatever... I do not care." He even introduced me to her. She asked him if the two of us were dating. He said yes. She told him that I was not good enough for him. He told her that he already made the choice to date me.

There were times when the two of us were spending time alone together when she would call him or text him telling him that she needed to talk to him. He replied that he was busy. But that did not stop her from calling or texting.

According to my husband, their conversations were mainly about her. School, her complaints regarding his male friend whom she still spending time alone with despite the fact that he sexually violated her, what her day was like, and her faith.

Once my husband and I got engaged, I told him there needed to be some changes regarding their friendship.

No more spending time alone together
Group activities only

She was not happy. She insisted on things being the way they were before we got engaged, but they could not be if I would remain engaged to him. She would not take no for an answer.

Due to her behavior, my husband and she are no longer friends. All of this happened between 2011 and 2012.

Even though she told my husband she was a Christian, she would not make a good mate.
 
T

TigerTeach

Guest
#22
Wanting to be careful in this crazy dating world we live in now is admirable of you. "The seed of God" idea has obviously turned several people into critics here.....

However, outward acts of Christian endeavors and strict Biblical knowledge are not how we are instructed in the Word of God to judge people. We are to be "fruit inspectors" --- the Fruits of the Spirit (the qualities that set a Christian apart from non-Christians) are :

[h=1] Galatians 5:22-23Amplified Bible (AMP)
[/h] [SUP]22 [/SUP]But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [SUP]23 [/SUP]gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.



And you can put their name in the the 1 Corinthians 13 Chapter to see how they "measure up"
1 Corinthians 13Amplified Bible (AMP)
[h=3]The Excellence of Love
[/h][SUP]4 [/SUP]Love (MY FIANCE') endures with patience and serenity, love (MY FIANCE') is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love (MY FIANCE')does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. [SUP]5 [/SUP]It (MY FIANCE') is not rude; it (MY FIANCE')is not self-seeking, it (MY FIANCE')is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it (MY FIANCE')does not take into account a wrong endured. [SUP]6 [/SUP]It (MY FIANCE') does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. [SUP]7 [/SUP]Love(MY FIANCE') bears all things [regardless of what comes], (MY FIANCE')believes all things [looking for the best in each one], (MY FIANCE')hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], (MY FIANCE')endures all things [without weakening].

We should all hope to be able to meet the Standards laid out in God's Word. Sadly though, WE ALL FALL SHORT. BUT CHRIST in us is the HOPE we have.

Our safest and wisest bet is to allow the Holy Spirit to direct us into all Truth and not be wise in our own eyes or rely on our own knowledge of ourselves let alone another person. For only God knows a person's heart truly.

There are no guarantees...... but Wisdom dictates knowledge of what is in someone's heart as seen through their actions is the best test you can have when deciding on the mate God has for you!


Blessings :D
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#23
I morph into a puppy. Most gals like puppies.
 
A

Abing

Guest
#25
OP is obviously a troll. His strategy is getting old.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,243
9,303
113
#26
*takes notes*
Between a raptor and a puppy, who do you think, has a better chance?
You're kidding, right? Puppies always win. They have cute, they have charisma... and they won't lash out with razor-sharp front talons and eviscerate you. People usually don't go for the pet that will kill them.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#27
How can I tell if my fiancee is a seed of God? I believe that not every person is a seed of God so I have tried to get a girl from Christian avenues like churches. I planned to test potential fiancees on their knowledge of the bible as well as their church activities in order to know if they are seeds of God or not. But on getting to the churches I discovered that all the girls there are probably not seeds of God and to make matters worse they seem to have a good knowledge of the bible and they even pray and sing in the choir but you can suspect that they are not seeds of God. All of the girls I have met so far in churches are probably not seeds of God. What can I do to know for sure that my fiancee is a seed of God since my plan to test knowledge of the bible and church activities appear to be ineffective? I will really appreciate your answers.


What is this? I don't even... :confused:
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#28
You're kidding, right? Puppies always win. They have cute, they have charisma... and they won't lash out with razor-sharp front talons and eviscerate you. People usually don't go for the pet that will kill them.
You've watched a lot of Jurassic World movies, my friend. Obviously, you haven't seen how cute and charismatic raptors can be in real, especially the rare sub-breed of philosoraptors. In no way are we like what the media has told you.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#29
How can I tell if my fiancee is a seed of God? I believe that not every person is a seed of God so I have tried to get a girl from Christian avenues like churches. I planned to test potential fiancees on their knowledge of the bible as well as their church activities in order to know if they are seeds of God or not. But on getting to the churches I discovered that all the girls there are probably not seeds of God and to make matters worse they seem to have a good knowledge of the bible and they even pray and sing in the choir but you can suspect that they are not seeds of God. All of the girls I have met so far in churches are probably not seeds of God. What can I do to know for sure that my fiancee is a seed of God since my plan to test knowledge of the bible and church activities appear to be ineffective? I will really appreciate your answers.


What is this? I don't even... :confused:
Keep in mind. Christmas day WAS a full moon........
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,243
9,303
113
#30
You've watched a lot of Jurassic World movies, my friend. Obviously, you haven't seen how cute and charismatic raptors can be in real, especially the rare sub-breed of philosoraptors. In no way are we like what the media has told you.
Never seen Jurassic World. I saw J-Park back in the day though, and I read the book. (Spoiler: In the book Hammond dies. Like he should. Spoiled little old brat.)

Why are philosoraptors rare? Do y'all spend so much time philosophizing that you never get around to asking girls out? That's no way to perpetuate the species. :p
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#31
Look who is back!! :D
*tackle hugs*

How have you been, bro? How are things? :)
Things are awesome!

Busy, but awesome. Mostly busy because of work. I've been working 6 day weeks and a 7 day week. This Christmas was the first time I had off of any consequence for a while now.


*takes notes*
Between a raptor and a puppy, who do you think, has a better chance?
I think the raptor has a chance if a woman wants a strong intelligent man, but probably loses out if she's looking for cute and cuddly.

Honestly, the T rex is the only one that can't find a gal. That's mainly because most women just don't have the yard for one.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#33
How can I tell if my fiancee is a seed of God? I believe that not every person is a seed of God so I have tried to get a girl from Christian avenues like churches. I planned to test potential fiancees on their knowledge of the bible as well as their church activities in order to know if they are seeds of God or not. But on getting to the churches I discovered that all the girls there are probably not seeds of God and to make matters worse they seem to have a good knowledge of the bible and they even pray and sing in the choir but you can suspect that they are not seeds of God. All of the girls I have met so far in churches are probably not seeds of God. What can I do to know for sure that my fiancee is a seed of God since my plan to test knowledge of the bible and church activities appear to be ineffective? I will really appreciate your answers.
Yikes! How many seeds do you need to spill in your opening post?
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#37
Things are awesome!

Busy, but awesome. Mostly busy because of work. I've been working 6 day weeks and a 7 day week. This Christmas was the first time I had off of any consequence for a while now.

I think the raptor has a chance if a woman wants a strong intelligent man, but probably loses out if she's looking for cute and cuddly.

Honestly, the T rex is the only one that can't find a gal. That's mainly because most women just don't have the yard for one.
Glad to hear that things are going good for you. :)

I don't think the T rex has a problem in finding a girl. His problem lies in keeping her.



 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,243
9,303
113
#38
Yikes! How many seeds do you need to spill in your opening post?
*Lynx immediately has a coughing fit, mostly to hide the fact he is snickering.
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#39
Woah.............I'm still working on that "seed of God" thingy..........

Wait.............whut?
No Miracle Gro on er....

She may grow 6ft tall lol

Noooo my dad did not!
Sigh
That's what happened to me!

Hee
 
C

coby

Guest
#40
Can you imagine what the rest of that poor gal's life would probably be like, married to an insecure control-freak like that?

I used to work with a little fellow who tried to pretend he was 6' tall by lording it over his wife. He would actually leave her lists of the things she had to accomplish around the house each day. He even insisted that she dry the dish drain, and put it away each time she washed dishes (by hand).

She finally divorced his pitiful butt.
LOL lists. In the end I was so tired of it, I just said: make a list for me lol and he did. That was just before it collapsed.