How do you handle your emotions?

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Susanna

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2013
2,588
70
48
#22
I know I posted in this thread. I guess my reply got lost in transition lol.

For the 1st bf, I don’t think I have to worry about running into him. He lives in a different state. I don’t see myself ever visiting his state, but who knows if he will ever be in Texas.

Right after we broke up, he would contact me from time to time. I had a friend delete him from my FB because every time I tried, I felt like I was being unfair although I couldn’t handle him still commenting on my stuff lol. After deleting him, he emailed me a few times. I was always cordial but never sought a convo with him. He eventually stopped. Lol.
Everyone eventually comes to Texas...don't they?

Don't they???

HAHA
 

Susanna

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2013
2,588
70
48
#23
Why has this site turned all gender neutral???

I got the blues...noooooo, not a chance hahaha.
 
W

whatev

Guest
#26
It's been forever since I started a thread! Good times, good times.

Anyway!

I recently ran into two exes (on different days) and had very different emotional reactions. The first encounter was at my doctor's office. I was sitting across the office near a large potted plant. When I spotted him I slouched down and over into the plant to hide. It was a brilliant move; he didn't see me. I should have been a spy.

The second ex I ran into was a different story. It hurt to see him, and it took my breath away just a little bit. We didn't end on the best of terms, and we haven't spoken in years. This encounter was brief. Honestly, the word encounter seems too generous a term. In seeing him I realized I didn't miss him romantically, I missed him as a friend. With the exception of one ex who goes to church with me, I don't speak to anyone I've dated. It's always a clean break. But in this case, I would have made an exception for ex number 2. Too bad he won't make an exception for me.

So tell me how you handle your ex partners! I want all the details. :)
I don't have that many exes and haven't been single since 1980, but I do remember facing them again and do remember facing others I left on less than friendly terms.

If I was embarrassed with my actions and if there was time to rectify, I took the time to do that. I can't say anything changed in our relationship after that, but at least I stopped replaying the record over and over again in my mind. And, if it worked out well, I suspect the other person had the same experience. Time is too short to waste time replaying records in our heads of things we didn't like the first time.

If there wasn't any time to talk, I held my head high, and said hello to the person. I'm good with micro-expressions so can judge people by that tiny moment between hearing a stranger saying Hello to recognizing me, and then having a reaction. If the reaction is a good one, I know the person isn't playing the broken record in their heads often. If there never is recognition of who I am, then whatever happened wasn't important enough to that person that I need to keep playing the record again. If the reaction was negative, but there is still little time to talk, I'll say something like, "I'm sorry how things worked out, but wish you well."

And I can recognize that brief moment when the words sunk in to get the real reaction before the person puts on the face of someone pretending it didn't matter. If there is peace with that person in that moment, there is peace with me. And if there is no peace, then I just set a record to repeat over and over again in my head to figure out what I did wrong.

In all the years, I've done this there has been more often a positive outcome than a negative one. So the number of records replaying in my head have dwindled a bit. Some keep going on, but only because I've never seen the person again.

It is easier to see the person again then to never see them again. Second chances are good.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,862
505
113
#28
I know I posted in this thread. I guess my reply got lost in transition lol.

For the 1st bf, I don’t think I have to worry about running into him. He lives in a different state. I don’t see myself ever visiting his state, but who knows if he will ever be in Texas.

Right after we broke up, he would contact me from time to time. I had a friend delete him from my FB because every time I tried, I felt like I was being unfair although I couldn’t handle him still commenting on my stuff lol. After deleting him, he emailed me a few times. I was always cordial but never sought a convo with him. He eventually stopped. Lol.
I can attest to this. I remember reading a post, not word-for-word exactly like this post, but having the same general information content. You are not crazy... or at least this post vanishing is not proof that you are crazy... because I remember you did make this post before.
 

LittleMermaid

Senior Member
Dec 25, 2017
442
306
63
#29
I have three exes...I guess? The first one was when I was 17 and he lives in Rhode Island. We have never met but we ended things in a friendly way. It was good. :) It was a purely online relationship with two socially awkward teens. :p
Second was a guy from the bank I used to work at. He wasn't really my boyfriend...we only dated maybe three times? It ended because he was not taking his relationship with Christ seriously and wanted things I wasn't gonna give. He got fired from the job and I moved back to the city I live in now. So he lives four hours away. I doubt I'll ever see him again. I don't want to because he was very mean when I told him that it wasn't gonna work.
Third was even meaner. It was mostly an online relationship too. He lives an hour away. I hope I never see him again. I am actually afraid of this person. He was emotionally abusive.
Gosh...I hadn't realized that both the second and third dates/boyfriends whatever they were...were both mean and emotionally abusive. :(
If I saw the last two...I would hide and run away as fast as possible! I am so glad all of that is over with. Ain't nobody got time for that!
 
Jun 20, 2018
21
7
3
Brisbane
#30
It's been forever since I started a thread! Good times, good times.

Anyway!

I recently ran into two exes (on different days) and had very different emotional reactions. The first encounter was at my doctor's office. I was sitting across the office near a large potted plant. When I spotted him I slouched down and over into the plant to hide. It was a brilliant move; he didn't see me. I should have been a spy.

The second ex I ran into was a different story. It hurt to see him, and it took my breath away just a little bit. We didn't end on the best of terms, and we haven't spoken in years. This encounter was brief. Honestly, the word encounter seems too generous a term. In seeing him I realized I didn't miss him romantically, I missed him as a friend. With the exception of one ex who goes to church with me, I don't speak to anyone I've dated. It's always a clean break. But in this case, I would have made an exception for ex number 2. Too bad he won't make an exception for me.

So tell me how you handle your ex partners! I want all the details. :)
If I was in that situation I'd try to motion to them, then tell them I have no hurt feeling's for the past. Then leave on friendly terms.
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
678
79
28
#31
Applied in live:

Matthew 22:37-39 (AKJV) Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Galatians 5:22-23 (AKJV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (AKJV) Charity suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity braggs not itself, is not puffed up,
Does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;
Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Amen blessing :)