How fast should a relationship proceed?

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How fast should a relationship proceed?


  • Total voters
    13
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#21
At the ♫speed of love♫.

[video=youtube;H2L2lqX8LGY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2L2lqX8LGY[/video]
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
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#22
:rolleyes:

[video=youtube;TYEf-pJZIWg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYEf-pJZIWg[/video]
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,098
113
#24
Well, we can talk using testimonies as to what is wise over what is not wise, but ultimately God's will in a thing will depend on each situation independent of a "formula" to success. The curious thing about the love of God is that it is the cruelest thing on earth to everything that is not of Him. God hurts desperately when I am far away from Him; but when I am close to Him, He is unutterably tender.

We become ambitious don't we in seeking a love relationship?, but we tend to speed past God for our own ambitious version of happiness. My advice would be to slow down and let a clear picture develop in way of God's vision and purposes therein. Seeking a formula is fruitless, but, I digress in that testimonies here can be helpful.If we are mixing sex issues with relational issues we may be in for a long discussion here ....smile.

How impatient do we get when dealing with sex and relational issues paralleled with our relationship to God? Sometimes, Our attitude implies that we think God is asleep. When we begin to reason and work in God's way, He reminds us first of all how long it took Him to get us where we are, and we realize His amazing patience and we learn to come into others lives, thru relationships, from above. As we learn to rely on the Spirit of God He gives us the resourcefulness of Jesus.


The arena of sex and relationships (Marriage not withstanding), remember we are not to be numskulls, but Holy men and women, full-blooded and Holy to the last degree, not anaemic creatures without enough strength to be bad.The relation to life ordained by Jesus Christ does not unsex men and women, but enables them to be Holy men and women.

It would be helpful for me to hear the more specific questions about a specific relational need than to bounce theories about the walls of a thread, so let me ask, what created the need to ask these questions, and can we bounce, instead, God's Word about the walls of this thread to help in any way?
 
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slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,098
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#25
I'm not actually asking advice, it was just a discussion my sister and I got into and I wanted to know what you all thought!
The question for me becomes: if there is no real need represented here (relationally) and it is only a Poll to open up discussion for the sake of discussion, wherein lyes your goal here? How will what we think meet the need to know what we think to become prudently helpful in the way of your relationship to God's purposes? Are you specifically asking us what wisdom God has given us? Or are you simply asking us what we think?

Do you see inherent dangers in the differences in how it is being asked?
 
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slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,098
113
#26
The question for me becomes: if there is no real need represented here (relationally) and it is only a Poll to open up discussion for the sake of discussion, wherein lyes your goal here? How will what we think meet the need to know what we think to become prudently helpful in the way of your relationship to God's purposes? Are you specifically asking us what wisdom God has given us? Or are you simply asking us what we think?

Do you see inherent dangers in the differences in how it is being asked?

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading. O.C.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#27
The question for me becomes: if there is no real need represented here (relationally) and it is only a Poll to open up discussion for the sake of discussion, wherein lyes your goal here? How will what we think meet the need to know what we think to become prudently helpful in the way of your relationship to God's purposes? Are you specifically asking us what wisdom God has given us? Or are you simply asking us what we think?

Do you see inherent dangers in the differences in how it is being asked?
I personally do not. There is no problem with discussing edifying topics for the sake of discussing, and this is something that may one day (LORD willing), be helpful advice or information for myself or others. My goal was to see what people thought, since my sister and I had been discussing this.
 
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
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48
#28
I'm not actually asking advice, it was just a discussion my sister and I got into and I wanted to know what you all thought!
The faster it goes, the more likely that incoherent, irrational, stupid, regrettable mistakes are likely to happen.

I suspect someone will point out that s/he observed some speed-dating relationship that doesn't fit with my stated opinion. To him/her, I ask how many speed-dating relationships s/he has observed.

Speed bumps...sometimes hills/mountains...are good things. :)
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
822
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#29
There is no right or wrong answer for this. it depends on the people involved and the circumstances.
For me, I think my problem is Im putting the same effort into finding friends as I am into getting off social assistance,
which is a some what aggressive pace and it's scaring people off, I think it stems from being hurt so much that, I would rather hurt people to keep them away than let them in so they can't hurt me.

But if you give me a week, I can tell you if I want to be friends or not. In 6 months I can tell you if I could make a life time commitment to you or not. In fact I probably could do both in a 12 hour period. Thats a fault of mine because most people want to go slow and really get to know each other first.

I know myself well, I know my faults and flaws, I know my potential and my gifts and talents.
I feel sorry for people who don't want to get to know me, because I know what they are missing out on.
In fact if it wasnt for pitty parties, I wouldn't have any party to go to at all lol.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
822
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#30
Actually speed dating can work if you know what questions to ask.

The faster it goes, the more likely that incoherent, irrational, stupid, regrettable mistakes are likely to happen.

I suspect someone will point out that s/he observed some speed-dating relationship that doesn't fit with my stated opinion. To him/her, I ask how many speed-dating relationships s/he has observed.

Speed bumps...sometimes hills/mountains...are good things. :)
 

mochi

Senior Member
May 26, 2015
923
38
28
#31
I'll go with 6mo-1 year with frequent communication :)
I believe around that time we can see their true colors and they can see ours as well :D
less than that we tend to be nice to new people and try to be patience aka not showing our evil side yet.. lol (thats what i believe and i could be wrong)
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#35
Where is the option for 100 years?
I believe that should be covered under "Other", but if every one did that it wouldn't seem to be fulfilling the command to "be fruitful and multiply" :D
 
H

Hao

Guest
#37
How fast should a relationship proceed towards what? First kiss? Intimacy? Sex? Marriage? Children?

If you mean sex, then even as a non-Christian young man, I'd encourage all young women out there to respect their own bodies and never give into pressure from a man for physical intimacy. If he truly loves you, then he will respect you as a woman and human being, and not just a piece of meat to be exploited for pleasure.

Despite the unfortunate macho sexualized culture among young men in most Western countries, there are quite a lot of us who really do respect women who respect themselves.