How to respond to the church ladies...

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Daylilies

Daylilies

Senior Member
#1
Apr 11, 2017
110
3
18
#1
Within the past few weeks, I have had several different conversations with women who have told me that they are or will be praying for me to find a husband. Each of these women have been very lovely, well-meaning, older, Christian ladies who are pillars in our local church communities - and all have been married! :)

While I am honored that they want to include me in their prayers, there are many other areas that I would appreciate prayer - a friend who is ill, my godchildren who are facing issues from teething to driver's tests, or my college courses as I train for a second career. I would also like to share that perhaps marriage isn't part of God's plan for me and that I am happy and content with how my life is currently.

I am wondering if it would be appropriate for me to share these thoughts with them and how I might be able to do it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings... Any advice?
 
C

Chokmahiel

Banned
#2
Mar 23, 2017
474
3
0
#2
Hmmm, I wonder if any of them have some single sons around your age.
 
Daylilies

Daylilies

Senior Member
#3
Apr 11, 2017
110
3
18
#3
Chokmahiel said:
Hmmm, I wonder if any of them have some single sons around your age.
Click to expand...
:) That's funny! No, although one tried to set me up with her dentist before finding out he was married!
 
J

JaimeMartinez26

Guest
#5
#5
Daylilies said:
Within the past few weeks, I have had several different conversations with women who have told me that they are or will be praying for me to find a husband. Each of these women have been very lovely, well-meaning, older, Christian ladies who are pillars in our local church communities - and all have been married! :)

While I am honored that they want to include me in their prayers, there are many other areas that I would appreciate prayer - a friend who is ill, my godchildren who are facing issues from teething to driver's tests, or my college courses as I train for a second career. I would also like to share that perhaps marriage isn't part of God's plan for me and that I am happy and content with how my life is currently.

I am wondering if it would be appropriate for me to share these thoughts with them and how I might be able to do it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings... Any advice?
Click to expand...
pretty much time ive been asked by a female who doesnt love God why i avoid relationships and im honest with them

they make passive aggressive attacks

either shaming or accusing of homosexuality or assume im lying and something is wrong with me

and everytime someone who does love God asks
they seem to be more understanding

i bet if the questions bother you
and you tell them

being lovers of Jesus they will get it and be supportive


if not... kinda shows you something

best way to break the news
is next time its brought up tell them in a way that wont leave them thinkin youre discrediting their relationships
 
C

Chokmahiel

Banned
#6
Mar 23, 2017
474
3
0
#6
JaimeMartinez26 said:
pretty much time ive been asked by a female who doesnt love God why i avoid relationships and im honest with them

they make passive aggressive attacks

either shaming or accusing of homosexuality or assume im lying and something is wrong with me

and everytime someone who does love God asks
they seem to be more understanding

i bet if the questions bother you
and you tell them

being lovers of Jesus they will get it and be supportive


if not... kinda shows you something

best way to break the news
is next time its brought up tell them in a way that wont leave them thinkin youre discrediting their relationships
Click to expand...
Heh, well at least they're interested in you lol, I wouldn't mind having your problem.
 
J

JaimeMartinez26

Guest
#7
#7
Chokmahiel said:
Heh, well at least they're interested in you lol, I wouldn't mind having your problem.
Click to expand...
google "detroit females" n just scroll for a bit



you dont want these problems
 
C

Chokmahiel

Banned
#8
Mar 23, 2017
474
3
0
#8
JaimeMartinez26 said:
google "detroit females" n just scroll for a bit



you dont want these problems
Click to expand...
Well before I googled it I was going to make a quip about whether you like the arab girls or not since that's what the rest of us outside of Michigan think about Michiganistan.

Then I googled Detroit Girls, and for some reason it's a whole bunch of black trannies. Then I thought to myself, well I guess it now makes sense why they ask him if he is gay.
 
J

JaimeMartinez26

Guest
#9
#9
hahahahaha


yes

there are a lot of Arabic females too


i wouldnt mind that if they wernt musilum
 
J

JaimeMartinez26

Guest
#10
#10
i heard they are trying to pass sharia law here .....
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#12
#12
Daylilies said:
Within the past few weeks, I have had several different conversations with women who have told me that they are or will be praying for me to find a husband. Each of these women have been very lovely, well-meaning, older, Christian ladies who are pillars in our local church communities - and all have been married! :)

While I am honored that they want to include me in their prayers, there are many other areas that I would appreciate prayer - a friend who is ill, my godchildren who are facing issues from teething to driver's tests, or my college courses as I train for a second career. I would also like to share that perhaps marriage isn't part of God's plan for me and that I am happy and content with how my life is currently.

I am wondering if it would be appropriate for me to share these thoughts with them and how I might be able to do it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings... Any advice?
Click to expand...
People often, and Christian's especially, have this misunderstanding that people who are presumptuous about your needs and wants, and then vocalize them, rather than getting to know you and finding out what Genuine needs you have, should be left to their own ignorant devices. No. There is nothing wrong or rude in correcting someones false assumptions about you. If anything it is rude of them. Just because you slap the term 'well meaning' on something doesn't make it ok. I find people who assume to know what i want or need, rather than taking the time to get to know me personally, are quite irritating and i often don't view them as genuinely friendly but rather putting on a show. Genuine people don't make those assumptions, they ask questions.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#13
Jun 30, 2015
24,688
13,377
113
#13
Daylilies said:
Within the past few weeks, I have had several different conversations with women who have told me that they are or will be praying for me to find a husband. Each of these women have been very lovely, well-meaning, older, Christian ladies who are pillars in our local church communities - and all have been married! :)

While I am honored that they want to include me in their prayers, there are many other areas that I would appreciate prayer - a friend who is ill, my godchildren who are facing issues from teething to driver's tests, or my college courses as I train for a second career. I would also like to share that perhaps marriage isn't part of God's plan for me and that I am happy and content with how my life is currently.

I am wondering if it would be appropriate for me to share these thoughts with them and how I might be able to do it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings... Any advice?
Click to expand...
You say some of them "have been" married. For the ones who aren't currently, offer to do the same for them. :)
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#14
#14
If it were me, I'd say something.

Thankfully it isn't me though. I tend to be rather lacking tact when I am faced with people trying to intercede on my behalf.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#15
#15
Just tell them. You don't HAVE to tell them not to pray for you about finding a husband (God won't send you a husband if that's not His plan for you ;)), but you sure can share other prayer concerns with them!
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#16
Apr 18, 2013
9,345
2,430
113
#16
Old ladies at church are never going away.

Just get used to them.

: )
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
24,914
8,167
113
#17
Facetious reply #1:
Dear Daylilies, show them the choices from the poll in this thread and ask them to pick whichever response suits them best.
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/138489-when-will-you-get-married.html

Facetious reply #2:
Dear Daylilies, I have had this problem to. At weddings little old ladies would pinch my cheek and cackle "You're next!" I found a solution though. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Real reply:
Dear Daylilies, dye your hair grey. No wait, I'm not being facetious any more! I used to have a metric ton of trouble with matchmakers. Then my hair started turning grey. (I blame working in children's church.) Now nobody tries to pair me off with ladies any more.
 
Daylilies

Daylilies

Senior Member
#18
Apr 11, 2017
110
3
18
#18
Dino246 said:
You say some of them "have been" married. For the ones who aren't currently, offer to do the same for them. :)
Click to expand...
:) That would probably make some of them think twice about what they are saying! :)
 
Daylilies

Daylilies

Senior Member
#19
Apr 11, 2017
110
3
18
#19
Tinuviel said:
Just tell them. You don't HAVE to tell them not to pray for you about finding a husband (God won't send you a husband if that's not His plan for you ;)), but you sure can share other prayer concerns with them!
Click to expand...
Thanks Tinuviel! :)
 
Daylilies

Daylilies

Senior Member
#20
Apr 11, 2017
110
3
18
#20
Lynx said:
Facetious reply #2:
Dear Daylilies, I have had this problem to. At weddings little old ladies would pinch my cheek and cackle "You're next!" I found a solution though. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Click to expand...
Oh my goodness, I laughed right out loud at this one! (And will now think of this every time the "marriage" comments come up!) ;) I might have to check into the going gray suggestion... although the kiddos that I work with are doing a great job of helping that process along!
 
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