I feel like some kind of sexual predator

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QuestionTime

Senior Member
Feb 16, 2010
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#21
This is a weird subject, but it is a good one too. I think these type of attitudes sometimes go along with certain girls... a lot like what Quest said. The problem I have is that is attractive to me... like the need to bring them back down to earth creates a huge challenge for me I guess. I have some weird need to keep people grounded for some reason. I'm always fine with a girl giving an attitude to other people, but when she does it to me... I dunno... I give one twice as bad back to her.... what ends up happening is sparks fly and next thing I know I'm dating her. I need to learn to not do that lol.

Interesting. Maybe that's how these confident women prefer to be approached. They just want to ensure the guy is confident enough to tackle them.

Quest
 

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2009
839
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#22
Ok so you think the clothes adjustment thing can be a good thing? That's not so bad then. That's actually one of the more common ones. So why don't girls adjust their clothes around guys that they don't like or find attractive?

I like to look at people in window reflections and mirrors, etc. in a way that they can not see me looking at them. It happens so often that I'll notice a girl noticing me there and then BAM she starts moving her clothes around.

Next time a girl does that I'm gonna say BAM, YOU LIKE ME DON'T YOU!!!!!
This might be why this stuff happens. The clothes adjusting thing also happens sometimes if they get the feeling that your looking at their exposed flesh. Which makes you wonder why they are exposing it in the first place. Turtlenecks for all I say, but that still wouldn't stop guys.

To flip this around, if you have ever noticed a woman checking you out, and not in a general sense but a very direct way ( and I don't mean how she tries to hide it ), if you have atleast a somewhat modest heart and aren't burning with lust at the possibility, you would find it hard to look her in the eye and have a conversation with her.

It could also be as other people have said, but its not uncommon, even for a christian, to look at women the wrong way. That's the flesh having it's way, and the old man dies hard.
 
May 21, 2009
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#23
Don't watch so much just have fun. You just have one life to live here. Go for the gusto! Is a lift a elevator?
 
C

christiancollegegirl

Guest
#25
I get kinda nervous in front of an attractive guy or one that I like, so I'll start fidgiting and stuff. I'll become conscious of my clothes/hair, etc, and don't want to look like an idiot in front of him in case he notices me too. I mean, who wants to have messy hair and messed up clothes in front of a potential date? Sometimes my friends have really bad timing and will call or text when a guy is trying to get my attention.
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#26
I dont know about your culture but this is typical behavior for both men and women in North East United States (gasp, men you say?)

It's sort of a well-known thing that northerners aren't as friendly. It's socially shocking/uncommon to talk to complete strangers, we dont make much eye contact , and feel awkward in situations where two people are forced to be in each others presence (the lift). Since I go to college and take the lift everyday, I will tell you that both men and women 98% of the time in a lift will take out their phone to seem preoccupied. Same goes inside the bus. Its just what we all do.

You know what I'm tired of? Catagorizing women. If some one is uncomfortable with you maybe they notice you sizing them up.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#27
I dunno man. I always go with the assumption women find me creepy, so I just mind my own business and oddly enough they seem anything but creeped out. So maybe be a lil more aloof, detached and in your own world-ish?
 
Jan 8, 2009
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#28
Since I go to college and take the lift everyday, I will tell you that both men and women 98% of the time in a lift will take out their phone to seem preoccupied. Same goes inside the bus. Its just what we all do
This is somehow abnormal? You don't get in a lift to socialise with people that's not the normal reason why a person gets into a lift.
 
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Natasha90

Guest
#29
Personally, if anyone male or female that I don't know gives me more than 2 seconds notice it weirds me out. In other words, "I don't know you, why are you looking at me for so long?" It's kind of like when someone perpendicular to your face is staring at you, and you can sense it. It makes you nervous right? Also, why would anyone ever hold eye-contact with a stranger unless they were talking to them? It's just not socially acceptable. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street, and if a person walks by I might just pull out my phone to pretend text so that i don't have to make eye-contact with them, if I'm lucky they may be doing the same thing. It's just the culture we live in. "This is your space, and this is my space." Also, if a guy makes eye contact with me more than once in a given minute, I assume it's because he's checking me out. I don't know WHY I assume, but I do. I think it's a sense most women have. It doesn't mean we think your a creeper, but we may be very uncomfortable if we feel like we are being evaluted. Even if I don't want to date you I want you to think I'm pretty, after all. Men want admiration for being tall or muscular or intelligent, in other words, MANLY. Women want to know they are beautiful and desired, but being caught on the spot may spook us. Next time pull out YOUR cell phone and then she can relax. :)
 

QuestionTime

Senior Member
Feb 16, 2010
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#30
Also, if a guy makes eye contact with me more than once in a given minute, I assume it's because he's checking me out. I don't know WHY I assume, but I do. I think it's a sense most women have.

I feel that I often get this reaction from women, when I am just trying to be polite and cordial (while having no desire at all to date them). Is it not possible to just be friendly with people anymore, and not have them suspect you of wanting something else?

But isn't it pride, when we assume that if someone is looking our way, that they must have the hots for us?
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#31

I feel that I often get this reaction from women, when I am just trying to be polite and cordial (while having no desire at all to date them). Is it not possible to just be friendly with people anymore, and not have them suspect you of wanting something else?

But isn't it pride, when we assume that if someone is looking our way, that they must have the hots for us?
Rule 1. Don't creep the girl out.

That means doing EVERYTHING within your power to NOT creep her out. Ie..don't go gazing more than once or for long periods of time.

For example, when I'm at the bookstore and reading. If I sense someone walk by, I look up for two seconds. Just to make sure it's not a serial killer coming to get me. Once I see it's not a serial killer coming to get me, I look back at the book!

I think most gals can respect a guy who's lookin up to make sure it's not a serial killer. :p But when we glare just long enough to seem like we're drawing sketches of them in our mind, well that creeps them out.
 
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Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
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#32
So just a side note, and this is not at all related to the problems I am talking about in this thread...

How do you attract a female using eye contact, if eye contact makes women think you're a creep?
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#33
So just a side note, and this is not at all related to the problems I am talking about in this thread...

How do you attract a female using eye contact, if eye contact makes women think you're a creep?
Looking at a woman and smiling is a good way to start.
 
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Jennifleur

Guest
#34
I think smiling is a good point. That shows that you're being friendly. If the girl smiles back, that would be a good point to try and begin a conversation. When someone smiles at me, it makes me feel more at ease. If they are just looking at me, no other facial expression, it creeps me out a bit, and makes me begin to wonder why he's looking. Do I have something on my face? Is he plotting my untimely demise? Is he a pervert? I don't know. But seeing someone smile makes me more relaxed. It realy does help.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#35
Personally, if anyone male or female that I don't know gives me more than 2 seconds notice it weirds me out. In other words, "I don't know you, why are you looking at me for so long?" It's kind of like when someone perpendicular to your face is staring at you, and you can sense it. It makes you nervous right? Also, why would anyone ever hold eye-contact with a stranger unless they were talking to them? It's just not socially acceptable. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street, and if a person walks by I might just pull out my phone to pretend text so that i don't have to make eye-contact with them, if I'm lucky they may be doing the same thing. It's just the culture we live in. "This is your space, and this is my space." Also, if a guy makes eye contact with me more than once in a given minute, I assume it's because he's checking me out. I don't know WHY I assume, but I do. I think it's a sense most women have. It doesn't mean we think your a creeper, but we may be very uncomfortable if we feel like we are being evaluted. Even if I don't want to date you I want you to think I'm pretty, after all. Men want admiration for being tall or muscular or intelligent, in other words, MANLY. Women want to know they are beautiful and desired, but being caught on the spot may spook us. Next time pull out YOUR cell phone and then she can relax. :)
Wow that is EXACTLY what I thought went through women's minds! I make a point to look like Im thinking intently about something as I walk about in public or or in the gym or at the beach or wherever. If eye contact is made, AND they look like a nice person I give them a polite smile, or smile and say hi how are you, but usually I shy away from people I dont know and if I feel someone is looking at me it really wierds me out, unless its someone that I dont mind looking at me but that never happens, not anymore :(
 
May 21, 2009
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#36
Sharp maybe its better for you not to suppose what the woman thinks. And stop thinking everyone thinks your a creep. It seems lie your feeling wrong about yourself. Don't stare at people go up and say hi I'm so and so whats up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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FireWire

Guest
#37
I was called a predator by a woman in my (early) 20s and I still remember her name. All the while some other women around at that time were trying to get me hooked up.

My opinion is that women do this when they think a guy is ogling them yet I wonder why some wear even slightly revealing clothes in the first place?

If I happen to see a women looking at me "like that" which isn't too often anyway, I look away which means sorry not interested.
 

erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
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#38
I do look at my cellphone or try to seem 'occupied' when I feel uncomfortable :p If I think well it's mostly around guys I actually like but it can also be around guys that I suppose will stare or make comments when I pass them by :D (usually a group of bored guys will do that). Either way I react like that when I don't feel comfortable for some reason.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#39
Yes, weird topic.

This is something that has been bothering me for a while, and I'm wondering whether other dudes out there experience this.

I pay alot of attention to body language, and I notice things. I feel like my presence makes girls uncomfortable. The following are things that I notice girls do:

- When I make eye contact with a girl, she immediately looks away.

- When a girl realises my presence in a room or space, she will adjust her clothes, like her top or her skirt, to make sure there is no flesh showing (even when there are other guys in the room already).

- When I am walking behind a girl and she becomes aware of my presence, she will adjust her pants or skirt, again to make sure there is no skin showing.

- When I am sitting down, and a girl walks past me (walking perpendicular to my line of sight), I can tell she is focusing with all her strength to look straight ahead and avoid eye contact with me, lest our eyes should meet and I should become enflamed with lust.

- Girls will do almost anything to avoid being alone with me. If a girl is waiting for the lift, and I also stand next to the lift to wait, she will leave and find something else to do to delay her lift ride.

- My presence seems to prompt girls to look at their cell phones. I think this is to make themselves look occupied or to make the time pass quickly in which they have to endure my presence.

Is this all in my head? Does this happen to other guys, or just me?

Maybe some of the young lasses here can shed some light on this - do you exhibit this kind of behaviour in the presence of a particular type of man? I feel like I am perceived as sleazy, which is why girls behave this way around me.

:confused:
I do not think girls behave this way in your pressence because you are sleazy, or anything negative about you. I can think of a few ideas that might make females uncomfortale in your prescence.

1. If females know you are a Christian they might be intimidated by you.
2. Females might find you attractive and feel nervous in your prescence because they are afraid of being embarrased in front of you.

I get really nervous when I am in the precense of a man that I find attractive ( most men). I am afraid I will say something stupid, or embarrass myself. I will do someting when I am nervous such as touch my hair, not make eye contact, ring my hands, or check my cellpone for no reason.
 
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tkgurl

Guest
#40
umm wow....you dont sound like a sexual predator...well im a girl and maybe your looking into it too much. because i do things like that subconsciously. so dont take it personally. its like if us girls see a guy adjust their pants, we arent wondering if they like us. its just a habit or whatever. dont sweat it:)