If you’re planning to go on a date with someone special, who should pay for it?
- Thread starter Mel85
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It is true - I come from what is commonly called the "Old School" of thinking tanks historically. Where the man opens even the door for a woman out of respect and nurturing. Keep in mind in the old days a man would even lay down his coat in the street if a lady needed to cross a muddy path or get off a horse in inclement weather if need be to protect her clothing. But suffice it to say I am not that "Old School" of a thinker - LOL. 
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I answered "other" because I would pay as a man out of respect and even in the good nature of courting as it were - but I also know God does not want us to live doctrinally, but rather spiritually.
Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. What I mean by this is when dating we need to be careful not to introduce our prejudices as godlinesses and then judge the other based on our doctrines.
If the lady has a Phobia about a man not giving her respect etc etc ... then I am flexible to let her pay - for that would be listening and discerning her needs best. If a woman feels obligated to me because of me paying and then feels uncomfortable and pressured because of it - then I am willing to split the costs to meet her need. If a woman appreciates it and does not see it as anything other than respectfulness and nurturing support - then I am willing to supply as would my role be as a man in the marriage if it ever got that far - a supportive role in the finances in taking care of her and nurturing her as Christ does the Church in loving unconditionally and with support.
The key is living spiritually as well as being a living sacrifice for His name sake in the relationship - then - no matter who pays when and what - it all turns out good - for we love Him first, as we continue to grow in the dating arena.
...I answered "other" because I would pay as a man out of respect and even in the good nature of courting as it were - but I also know God does not want us to live doctrinally, but rather spiritually.
Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. What I mean by this is when dating we need to be careful not to introduce our prejudices as godlinesses and then judge the other based on our doctrines.
If the lady has a Phobia about a man not giving her respect etc etc ... then I am flexible to let her pay - for that would be listening and discerning her needs best. If a woman feels obligated to me because of me paying and then feels uncomfortable and pressured because of it - then I am willing to split the costs to meet her need. If a woman appreciates it and does not see it as anything other than respectfulness and nurturing support - then I am willing to supply as would my role be as a man in the marriage if it ever got that far - a supportive role in the finances in taking care of her and nurturing her as Christ does the Church in loving unconditionally and with support.
The key is living spiritually as well as being a living sacrifice for His name sake in the relationship - then - no matter who pays when and what - it all turns out good - for we love Him first, as we continue to grow in the dating arena.
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Its hot weather-wise here today but that is not why my tongue is melting right now - your food description is making my mouth drool with anticipation...I know - not a pretty site, right? - but one has to do what one has to do - in other words - your food is as cool as drool!
What's funny is when I first red this I red (mindfully) I rather like partially smoked salmon etc etc and I thought - what is partially smoked salmon? Then in an instance my brain let my eyes rule and I saw the words correctly... I know - I am easily amused apparently - forgive me...LOL
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It is true - I come from what is commonly called the "Old School" of thinking tanks historically. Where the man opens even the door for a woman out of respect and nurturing. Keep in mind in the old days a man would even lay down his coat in the street if a lady needed to cross a muddy path or get off a horse in inclement weather if need be to protect her clothing. But suffice it to say I am not that "Old School" of a thinker - LOL. ...
I answered "other" because I would pay as a man out of respect and even in the good nature of courting as it were - but I also know God does not want us to live doctrinally, but rather spiritually.
Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. What I mean by this is when dating we need to be careful not to introduce our prejudices as godlinesses and then judge the other based on our doctrines.
If the lady has a Phobia about a man not giving her respect etc etc ... then I am flexible to let her pay - for that would be listening and discerning her needs best. If a woman feels obligated to me because of me paying and then feels uncomfortable and pressured because of it - then I am willing to split the costs to meet her need. If a woman appreciates it and does not see it as anything other than respectfulness and nurturing support - then I am willing to supply as would my role be as a man in the marriage if it ever got that far - a supportive role in the finances in taking care of her and nurturing her as Christ does the Church in loving unconditionally and with support.
The key is living spiritually as well as being a living sacrifice for His name sake in the relationship - then - no matter who pays when and what - it all turns out good - for we love Him first, as we continue to grow in the dating arena.
...I answered "other" because I would pay as a man out of respect and even in the good nature of courting as it were - but I also know God does not want us to live doctrinally, but rather spiritually.
Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. What I mean by this is when dating we need to be careful not to introduce our prejudices as godlinesses and then judge the other based on our doctrines.
If the lady has a Phobia about a man not giving her respect etc etc ... then I am flexible to let her pay - for that would be listening and discerning her needs best. If a woman feels obligated to me because of me paying and then feels uncomfortable and pressured because of it - then I am willing to split the costs to meet her need. If a woman appreciates it and does not see it as anything other than respectfulness and nurturing support - then I am willing to supply as would my role be as a man in the marriage if it ever got that far - a supportive role in the finances in taking care of her and nurturing her as Christ does the Church in loving unconditionally and with support.
The key is living spiritually as well as being a living sacrifice for His name sake in the relationship - then - no matter who pays when and what - it all turns out good - for we love Him first, as we continue to grow in the dating arena.
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Personally..i would like a man to cook for me..but if going out..man to pay..i was raised as you..and it DOES show that a man can provide and respect..i also agree that a date doesnt have to be expensive..goung out for coffee..and ice cream cone.to the county .fair with corn dogs..picinic.. not a lot of money? Be creative..i think a lot of women would appreciate that
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I have seen people spend a ton of money and only evaluate the experience based on the amount spent and place they went to - but you know you have had a good date when you are lost in the experience of the other person after and the perhaps even expensive or not backdrop created is but that - a backdrop to the person it enhanced.
I applaud your sense of reasoning in the Lord; as you continue to place your mind in Him I hope. Nice to meet you Jewel. I just was browsing the thread topics and sensed I must answer this imperative question - "who will pay?" - LOL...
I applaud your sense of reasoning in the Lord; as you continue to place your mind in Him I hope. Nice to meet you Jewel. I just was browsing the thread topics and sensed I must answer this imperative question - "who will pay?" - LOL
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