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Anyone can meet people.
Come out of your comfort zone.
Seriously, that's like the only way to meet people. Because people won't come up to you.
I never had friends when I was in 8th grade because I was so shy. I never approached anyone. 2 years go by and I realize that people won't come up to me, so I need to step out of my comfort zone and approach people. Do you know how many friends I have now? It's because I became more outgoing. It was hard stepping out of the comfort zone for the first time.
Come out of your comfort zone.
Seriously, that's like the only way to meet people. Because people won't come up to you.
I never had friends when I was in 8th grade because I was so shy. I never approached anyone. 2 years go by and I realize that people won't come up to me, so I need to step out of my comfort zone and approach people. Do you know how many friends I have now? It's because I became more outgoing. It was hard stepping out of the comfort zone for the first time.
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love to introduce you all to my website.....then you can join me and network http://katrina.uppercaseliving.net/ Have a blessed week!
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You can disagree all you want 
But not everyone is going to come up to you.
And it's YOUR turn to come up to people.
I've been there, I've done that. I know what it's like
But not everyone is going to come up to you.
And it's YOUR turn to come up to people.
I've been there, I've done that. I know what it's like
I remember this guy, and he told me, he said ''if i hadn't talked to u, would u've talked to me?'' i said no! he told me that i have to be open to other people. THAT changed me, i try to reach out to other people. so then it'll be me coming up to other people
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haha if you just wait for them to come to you thats like.
James 2:17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
soo. lol. you can believe that people will come up to you, but you will have to come up to them for them to do that to you
Do unto others what you want others to unto you...
so it starts from you.
James 2:17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
soo. lol. you can believe that people will come up to you, but you will have to come up to them for them to do that to you
Do unto others what you want others to unto you...
so it starts from you.
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ok ok, some people DO come up to you
I remember this guy, and he told me, he said ''if i hadn't talked to u, would u've talked to me?'' i said no! he told me that i have to be open to other people. THAT changed me, i try to reach out to other people. so then it'll be me coming up to other people
I remember this guy, and he told me, he said ''if i hadn't talked to u, would u've talked to me?'' i said no! he told me that i have to be open to other people. THAT changed me, i try to reach out to other people. so then it'll be me coming up to other people
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I wish I had time to read this whole thread. I have just been thinking about this very issue. I love on-line dating and I wish it didn't have such a bad reputation with Christians. I'm always very reluctant to tell people I met my last two boyfriends on-line. For YEARS I've been struggling with the notion that too many Christians believe that God has one person out there for them (something I believe, but cautiously) and you cannot meet this person when you are intentionally looking for them. You know, seek God and the right person will come out of nowhere. Now, there are a heck of a lot of Christians that did meet the right person without trying, but that DEFINITELY does not mean that is the only way to meet the right one. Sure, waiting on God to send you the right one builds patience and trust. But, taking initiative and (as someone else said) getting out of your comfort zone, takes courage. While I need to work on my patience and trust, courage is by far the virtue that I am most lacking. I'd much rather stay home and trust God than work up the courage to actually get out there and meet guys. In university I read a book for a religious studies paper, written by a woman who believes God is calling her to get married but she refuses (and encourages others) to actively search out singles. I'm thinking "wow, how do you justify that?" But she only justifies it misinterpreting Old Testament verses. It's just kind of "understood" that "good" Christians don't go "looking" for the right person because that wouldn't be "trusting God." It kind of reminds me of Jonah being called to Nineveh and getting on a boat and heading for the other side of known world, Tarshish. However, this author doesn't see marriage as a service opportunity akin to Jonah going to Nineveh. Instead she sees marriage (and I'm not even joking) as a reward for serving God. Now, obviously if one doesn't want to get married even half as much as Jonah didn't want to go to Nineveh then they shouldn't get married, but that's not the point. The point is that... I think we as Christians see marriage as... Well, because we like to emphasize that sex outside marriage sucks and sex inside a monogomous God glorifying marriage is great, and that being faithful to God during dating and engagement really pays off, we tend to forget that it's difficult. I'm not and never have been married, but from what I hear, building a God glorifying marriage (especially in today's divorce premissable culture) is the second most difficult thing you will ever do (raising children being the first).
I'm going to post this just incase my computer crashes.
I'm going to post this just incase my computer crashes.
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See, we really want get all the answers on modern dating from the Bible. But that just won't happen. First of all, marriage in the Old Testament was arranged. One didn't have to worry about meeting the right person, the right person was whomever your parents told you they'd chosen for you. Like, if you ask my why I'm not married, I'd say because I put off serious dating while I finished college and got established in my career (trust me, college required my undivided attention) and since then I just haven't met the right person. Now that sounds wise, but if I were an Old Testament Jewish girl, that would be considered very selfish. See, people are adopted into the Body of Christ now. One, anyone, can make a choice to follow Jesus. But in the Old Testament, one was born into God's people (although there were converts such as Rahab and Ruth, but they were married into the Jews). So for the Jews, not having babies would be like not sharing the Gospel for Christians. Basically, what I'm getting at is that if we're looking at who and when to marry, looking at the Old Testament can be very problematic. As for the New Testament, well, from what I understand things were very difficult for the early Christians. I think that's why Paul advised singles to stay like that for the time being. Now the big problem is that who and when and how you get married is the biggest choice you'll ever make in your life after your choice to follow Jesus. And yet, there just aren't very many specifics in the Bible. This is why I've read more Christian books on dating than on any other non-fiction subject. When Biblical advice is inadequate* we need to seek the advice of wise Christians who have both education and experience.
I have to go to bed. I'll write later. I have a lot to say about this subject.
*I hope no one gets on my case for saying that. See, my dad read a book on Islam's clash with modernity and he said the book said they belive that Koran is the be all and end all of all knowledge. That's why they're so skeptic about democracy, if it's so great, then why isn't it mentioned in the Koran? I belive that the Bible has everything we need to know about knowing God and getting to Heaven and whatnot, but I strongly caution falling into the trap that it has all life's answers to non-God related issues.
I have to go to bed. I'll write later. I have a lot to say about this subject.
*I hope no one gets on my case for saying that. See, my dad read a book on Islam's clash with modernity and he said the book said they belive that Koran is the be all and end all of all knowledge. That's why they're so skeptic about democracy, if it's so great, then why isn't it mentioned in the Koran? I belive that the Bible has everything we need to know about knowing God and getting to Heaven and whatnot, but I strongly caution falling into the trap that it has all life's answers to non-God related issues.
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Now, I happen to be a behaviour therapist. And one of the cardinal rules is that avoid saying "don't" and "stop" (although they do have their place) instead we focus on the behaviour that we want them to do. So, instead of saying "don't touch" we say "hands down." When it comes to meeting singles, I found that a lot of Christian advice, printed or otherwise, focuses on what not to do. Well, I don't need to be given a list of where not to meet guys. I can think that up on my own. Obviously, meeting guys at bars is not what I'd consider a good idea. Most Christian gusy I know don't go to bars much if ever. And if they do, they're not looking to meet girls because they assume that everyone there is just looking for a quick hookup. Secondly (and this is why I never, ever go to bars) bars are so loud I don't know how anyone can talk. Then on the other end of the spectrum there's college and career groups at church. I've found that people have mixed feelings when it comes to dating people from church. On one hand, saying you met your boyfriend at church is great, but on the other hand, finding a church with a big college and career group (or singles group for whatever your age) with the specific intention of meeting singles, is not good. You go to those groups for fellowship and teaching and a chance to pray with and serve others. It's not for meeting dating partners. So, two years ago when I decided it was time for me to put my fear behind me and try on-line dating, I raised the issue on a Christian forum, much like this one, except that the website was just for my friends. I did get some opposition. Obviously there were lots of concerns about safety* and then I heard "Why don't you just meet guys at church?" Well first of all, just because I was meeting guys on-line doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to meet guys at church or anywhere else for that matter.
Once again, I have to go to bed. I'll write again later.
*Sometimes I don't what the big thing is about on-line dating being dangerous. Obviously you always need to play it safe, but I don't see why people think that it's so much worse than any other way. My sister met my brother-in-law at a university Christian group. And yet, it was still awhile before she would get in a car with him. When you meet people on-line you use common sense rules and just like you would meeting them anywhere else.
Once again, I have to go to bed. I'll write again later.
*Sometimes I don't what the big thing is about on-line dating being dangerous. Obviously you always need to play it safe, but I don't see why people think that it's so much worse than any other way. My sister met my brother-in-law at a university Christian group. And yet, it was still awhile before she would get in a car with him. When you meet people on-line you use common sense rules and just like you would meeting them anywhere else.
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Ok, Minnesotablu, I'm glad you started this thread, because I'm really wondering the same thing. I totally agree with you about meeting guys at church. I am literally one of only two single twenty-somethings at my church. It's a very small church and most peopole are really old, but it's where I believe God wants me to be. Like you, I don't believe in going from church to church to meet guys. That is very much not what church is for. So, does that mean that I can't date as long as I'm at this church? Well, no, because the one other single twenty something at my church happens to be my boyfriend, but lets say that wasn't the case. Let's say that there literally wasn't any single guys at my church. Does that mean I'm destined to be single as long as I'm at that church? Well, I could volunteer with a mission organization or another place where there would be lots of Christian singles my age. But out of experience, let me tell you what that would be like for me. When I find an opportunity to be in a group of Christians my age, I always imagine the possibility that I'll meet a guy that will be "the one." So, I make sure I wear my most flattering shirt and put on eye make-up etc, and really, I end up being distracted from what I'm supposed to be there for. Because really, how often do you find such groups? I've found that when I'm doing on-line dating I can better focus on church for what it's supposed to be and not what I wish it would be. See, I like on-line dating because it's honest about it's intentions. If you want meet the guy you're supposed to marry or if you're just looking to get to know single guys your age in a "one-on-one" kind of way, what I call "dating," that is NOT a bad thing. Like, I've been thinking about service opportunities and, even if I wasn't seeing anyone, I might hope that God would provide me with a service opportunity where I am not distracted by single Christian guys. Because it really is a distraction to me.
Anyway, I'll finish this later. It really is bedtime.
Anyway, I'll finish this later. It really is bedtime.