I'm not a poet and I know it

[Descyple]

The collected works of Tintin via osmosis doesn't seem too expensive
even if he is on the other side of the globe and charges outlandish shipping & handling...
distance is a cruel mistress
but tea time in the land down under can always be brimming with scorpions and other little critters of doom
can it?
No. Those volumes of his works speak volumes to my soul
Lost reviews..where's Walt?
Polar bears that traverse my soul.
I don't care if C.S. Lewis himself buys me a one way ticket off this island
it's only a dream
like we died & went to heaven
or some misbegotten purgatory.
I never thought I would pen an abstract ode
to a CC member so near & dear to my heart
Thick as thieves
closer than a brother from another Mother
It's all good when yer' one under the Son
even if it's down under.

With blood shot eyes, tapping, I type, percussion is rich as my fingertips touch light.
Strumming a song, as I am typing along, this orchestra rings true of this technological prison.

Oh Laptop so fair, can I help but stare? The light that illuminates your screen, a screen too long to be a square.
You have me all bound, in love so profound, from your slow ability to load and your inability to produce good sound.

You set me on course, my compass for true north, memorising my favourite links and CTRL-Z-ing when I bring remorse.
You load Microsoft Word, when the call for paper work is heard, you understand my needs and desires to unleash my inner nerd.

Hey you two, these poems are too good. Ya'll need to take a lesson from Fenner and just write uncomplicated and easy to understand one-sentence poems (she's the master of them).

We here at the "Writing As Though Our Pens Are Dead" poets society will not tolerate such works of atriculousness (that's my own new word - deal with it!!!).



We now return to our regularly scheduled bad poetry....................

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ask me what color a tulip is
And I'll tell you to shoo (away)

(See, that is how you write bad poetry!!!).

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

To my dearest brother in the Lord,Descyple...
The rain on the plane is TWA
The gremlin on the wing is only as real as a real thing
We could send the 4th member of the landing party out there
but surely he would meet his end
It's the end of the world as we know it
but Descyple is upset when we blow it
snuff out the life
trouble & strife
Yeah that's right..it's Cockney for "Wife"
I'll help you attack the block if you even get that reference
Highly doubtful in your maple leafy state of Azure intoxication
So if you want my body & you think I'm sexy
Keep it to yourself
Ain't no one got time for that

 

[tourist]

To my dearest brother in the Lord,Descyple...
The rain on the plane is TWA
The gremlin on the wing is only as real as a real thing
We could send the 4th member of the landing party out there
but surely he would meet his end

Sounds like an episode from "The Twilight Zone" that I saw once.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Perhaps indeed it was. Now stop stalking my posts. (and take your monkeys with you Sir) lol

 

[Fenner]

Cookies are good cheese cake is better, but both with make you fatter.

 

[Fenner]

Hey you two, these poems are too good. Ya'll need to take a lesson from Fenner and just write uncomplicated and easy to understand one-sentence poems (she's the master of them).

We here at the "Writing As Though Our Pens Are Dead" poets society will not tolerate such works of atriculousness (that's my own new word - deal with it!!!).



We now return to our regularly scheduled bad poetry....................

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ask me what color a tulip is
And I'll tell you to shoo (away)

(See, that is how you write bad poetry!!!).

I can imagine you in Bermuda shorts and long black socks yelling at these two to get off your lawn!

 

[Arlene89]

Bowl of soup in one hand. Fork in another. Sanity, why you no love me no more?

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

If this is my shoe,then where are my socks?
You package them two by two,
But the elasticness of my heart cannot seem to hold them in place.
Now go find me my cape, Alfred!
There's crime to be a fightin'.

 

[Descyple]

I can imagine you in Bermuda shorts and long black socks yelling at these two to get off your lawn!

Get off my lawn, you crazy kids
This is private property
I'm whiny and cranky like a child with no blanky
So I won't talk to you properly

I may be old, but I can run real fast
With my black socks pulled up to my knees
And there's truth to the reports when I'm in my Bermuda shorts
I can catch all trespassers with ease

Now Scram!!!!!!!

 

[MissCris]

O, cottonwood trees
i sneeze I sneeze
when your cottony fluff
intrudes
upon my nose
my itchy nose
i sneeze, I sneeze
at 'choo!!

 

[Descyple]

O, cottonwood trees
i sneeze I sneeze
when your cottony fluff
intrudes
upon my nose
my itchy nose
i sneeze, I sneeze
at 'choo!!

"At 'choo, Brutus?" - William Shakespeare

 

[Lovesong]

My ear
needs an earring.
feels so bare, so naked
exposed to the cruel world.
oh dear.
my poor poor ear.

lol I've written a lot of horrible poems but this one
should take the cake.​

 

[blue_ladybug]

I wrote a horrible poem in the streams thread yesterday and it got me thinking, hey I'm going to make a bad poem thread. So friends go for it. Write your bad poems!

Fenner, you may write horrible poems, but you did pretty good at rhyming the title of this thread!! LOL!!

 

[ww_21]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Buy me some bacon
And I'll marry you.

(Yes, I laughed at my own joke get over it.)

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Does not the long road out of the depths still beckon you?
Why would you ever consider that path again?
Do you question all the answers you've been given?
Why would you still ponder all these things and more?
No good gift is a waste of space
a waste of time
a waste of energy
You've been wasted for far too long child.
Come out of those thorny thistles that have choked out your sweet voice
scarred your smile
buried your heart within layers of brine.
No more roads leading to nowhere
No. Never again.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

My Captain,My Captain!
Why doth thouest eatest all of mine cereal with crunch berries?
Hast thou not enough ill gotten gain to make purchase of thine own?

You hast shamed the house of your forefathers and spoiled the milk of a thousand cows with your insolence.

 

[Fenner]

Does not the long road out of the depths still beckon you?
Why would you ever consider that path again?
Do you question all the answers you've been given?
Why would you still ponder all these things and more?
No good gift is a waste of space
a waste of time
a waste of energy
You've been wasted for far too long child.
Come out of those thorny thistles that have choked out your sweet voice
scarred your smile
buried your heart within layers of brine.
No more roads leading to nowhere
No. Never again.

Sir this poem does not meet the requirements. It is not bad. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Sir this poem does not meet the requirements. It is not bad. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

LOL..did you at least have the decency to tell me I was the weakest link in a British accent like Anne Robinson? (host of the original show back in the U.K.) My dear Jen..all my poetry is fit for this thread..it's all rubbish. Good day M'am...good day.

 

[Arlene89]

If the antelope evoked the antidote to soak the throat chokes with rope soap, my goats won't dote on boats, going to and fro on moats enveloped by rows of toads.

 

[Fenner]

LOL..did you at least have the decency to tell me I was the weakest link in a British accent like Anne Robinson? (host of the original show back in the U.K.) My dear Jen..all my poetry is fit for this thread..it's all rubbish. Good day M'am...good day.

Of course I did. Then you fell through the floor.