When you put a woman's virginal status as her most important feature, you are objectifying her. You are dismissing her full personhood because her sin included a some specific body parts. Was it right? No. Was is the worst thing ever? No! If the blood of Christ has covered it, then who are you to not forgive?
There are parts of her that are more important than her hymen. Her heart, her mind, and her spirit: those are what shape a woman. Pay more attention to those
Tried that twice. I ended up getting hurt more than words can imagine.
What you guys arean't realizing is it isn't that I'm just so stuck up, I won't date a non-virign.
Its that I tend to get sad over the fact that another man has lain with my mate.
I feel like they've cheated on me. In a sense, they have cheated on me.
Just because they haven't met me yet does not give them an excuse to cheat on me.
The same way goes with me, just because I haven't met them yet, doesn't mean I need to be cheating on them either.
Its not a sense of pride like I have reiterated a thousand times already. Its legitimate pain and sadness as to my reasoning.
I don't want to struggle to accept her past and then be gave up on anyway, again. Twice is too many times.
Never again.
Who says that a non-virgin can't do that? You make it sound like all non-virgins would make horrible and unfaithful girlfriends/boyfriends. Your experiences may not have been the greatest, but it is not true of all non-virgins; you're projecting. If a significant other has moved on from their past and is faithful and committed to you, does it matter that you aren't their first? Why so focused on the past?
You aren't the only virgin in the world. I know sometimes it feels that way, but it's not true. Besides, being a virgin (or not) is not the end-all. Sex is not the apex of a marriage. The apex of a marriage is serving and glorifying God together.
I didn't say non-virgins specifically or a virgin specifically, in my latest post.
I'm talking about a mate in general. And I'm focused on the past of my mate because I don't want to get into another
relationship and hear details about her previous partners and how long they did it, etc, etc, etc. I have tried that twice, two different relationships. It is a
requirement that they be a virgin. I've tried being more lenient. I think its fair for me to desire someone whos waited for me like I'm doing for them. Had I not been a virgin then I'd say maybe, perhaps. But that isn't what the purpose of this thread was anyway. We've gotten quite off subject about one detail I stated.
X, I can not even believe people are responding to you this way. You are a man who has maintained his purity in an age where that is pretty near impossible. I am shocked that as a group we are not encouraging you to maintain that and not to feel guilty for wanting a girl who "waited" for you the way you are wanting to "wait" for her. Sometimes we Christians need to put down someone like you or label you as "self-righteous" because we have not fully repented for our own sin or we are needing to justify it in some way. Or, quite frankly, we are just jealous that you had the self-discipline that we didn't have. And yes, I am talking about myself. I wish I would have made the choices you are making. You are doing the right thing. You are not labeling this girl as unforgiven or anything else. You are simply saying that you don't want to date her. Nothing wrong with that. And to the people who keep bringing up Jesus...newflash. Jesus forgave them, he didn't marry them. Big difference. My hunch is that there is something more that God is trying to protect you from besides the fact she is no longer a virgin. Keep trusting in what God's word says and don't be entrapped by what man says. Even "Christians" are going to get it wrong when emotions run high. Just keep focusing on scripture and let the Holy Spirit be your guide in everything, including who you partner with in this life. Never. Never apologize for that.
Thanks. I found your post the most helpful out of all of them.
You understand where I'm coming from. Its not a thing of "oh I don't wanna date her cause she's dirty" or whatever. Its more of a "I don't wanna date her cause I know I'll end up feeling bad". But thank you.
