Joe and Daphne (a hypothetical situation) - To yoke, or not to yoke

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, I have a hypothetical question for you guys based on this short (and remarkably well-written ) story..

Lets say there is a very happy couple named Joe and Daphne who recently got engaged to be married. They've been in a serious relationship for 5 years now and they each feel that they could never live without each other. They know with all their hearts that they are meant to be together for the rest of their lives..

But the thing about Joe and Daphne is that neither of them are christian. They both believe that there is a God/Creator, but don't believe in christianity or any religion.

One day, Joe's friend Peter asks him and Daphne to come to this big christian event where there's going to be live bands and some popular christian speakers. Joe and Daphne think it sounds fun so they agree to go, but then Daphne realizes she can't go because she promised to cover for someone at work that weekend (which is true).

Joe goes and is so touched by the message of Christ's love and sacrifice that he repents and accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior right then and there.

When he gets home he tells Daphne all about what happened, but Daphne says he was just caught up in all the fanfare and that it affected his rational thinking. Joe completely denies that and even has Daphne watch a presentation of the entire event on tv to convince her, but Daphne is still not convinced that Joe acted rationally. She tells Joe that it was a very interesting and compelling message but its still not proof enough for her that christianity is the answer.

She reminds Joe about the christian friends she had who used to talk behind her back and criticize her for what she wore, who she dated, who she hung out with, how she wasn't worthy of going to heaven, how she was actually doing the devil's will and how she will go to hell if she didn't change her ways and be born again. Joe saw her breakdown in tears as she told him how she could never become one of them or be friends with people like that again.

Joe understood her and knew that this was still the woman he loved with all his heart, and Daphne also knew too that she would love Joe with all her heart no matter whether he was a christian or not and they both agreed that they would accept and respect each other's views on God as long as their views were grounded in love and selflessness.

Now for the Big Question.... Should Joe leave Daphne because she is not a christian?

 

[Stuey]

Joe and Daphne have probably been sleeping together.

Given this, and that they have had a relationship for 5 years and they are now engaged. They might as well be married and are probably already married in God's eyes.

So I think he should stay with her.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

He should stay, him leaving her after becoming a christian would do more harm than good. She already has a bad view of christians. If he left her after accepting the Lord she probably would never become one

 

[Searching4Truth]

Jesus, King of kings, or, a the most beautiful woman in the world... Zero, you are a cruel man to make someone so young choose between the two. Shame on you, Fabio...​

 

[MarkayMrk777]

I would "Trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding."
I would honor what God and His Word says, but that
is not very popular on here

Since our spirituality is the core of everything we do, and being
yoked with someone who wants nothing to do with it, that
would be a bad choice. You would be leaving God out of the
relationship and we all know how that would end...

 

[LightningClap0002]

As Mr Green always says, the Lord leads. It makes hypotheticals pretty tough. In the end, situations can't be summed up in a page or two. The impacts of actions can be analyzed, but in the end God alone knows. Is there a greater chance that him leaving her would further harden her heart towards God? Certainly, but God also tells us that some were made for noble purposes and some were not (Romans 9:15, 19).

Perhaps God brought her in Joe's life simply to allow him to be saved at that event. Maybe God brought Joe into her life to lead her to God. Maybe God brought her into Joe's life to teach him something that he learned 2 years before, which he will then share later and save 500000 people. Maybe....

In the end, seeking God's will in the exact situation is the only 'right' answer I see. :/

 

[libertygirl]

I say yes, he should break up with her. What if Daphne never becomes Christian? It's a nice love story, but the reality is a marriage with an unbeliever will be a very difficult one. One spouse will be Spirit-led and the other will be led by the world. There will always be conflict in an unyoked marriage.

 

[Nautilus]

id stay personally

 

[MarkayMrk777]

Hope you guys realize that only God will never leave you
or forsake you. God is the real love relationship, what
happens on our limited time on Earth is just a blink of the eye.

You realize that a Kingdom Divided can not stand.
Marriage is two people becoming one. If they are
divided on the most essential part of a relationship
it will not stand.

The shallow feelings of what we think is love will
wither and only the true love of God will last and
stand forever.

 

[Searching4Truth]

He should stay, him leaving her after becoming a christian would do more harm than good. She already has a bad view of christians. If he left her after accepting the Lord she probably would never become one

So, would it be better for her to leave him?​

 

[Trax]

Now for the Big Question.... Should Joe leave Daphne because she is not a christian?

Yep. Marriage is only a temporary arrangement. The death of one ends it. The eternal should come
before the temporal.

 

[Nautilus]

I mean to be honest having a fellow christian would be great. But on the other hand someone that excepts it with no issue, is equally ok with me at this point. The way its worked christian girls are well christian and meet some other things i look for, but then nonchristians meet other things, so I wouldnt pass up someone who met everything but one.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

So, would it be better for her to leave him?​

How in the world should i know, the question was should he leave her.

 

[Stuey]

Guys you don't think that they have probably been sleeping together has any impact on this?

I mean Abraham accidentally slept with the wrong girl and was married.

Now I don't take the view that sleeping together automatically means you are married, but being together for five years, sleeping together and being committed to each other?

Our societies view of marriage is quite skewed, people just don't go out and say the vows, but I feel like in this case they might already be married in God's eyes, despite not saying the vows.

If you changed it to 20 years and it was a even long term partner but they had never formally got married?

I think you guys might be placing too much stock in the vows and being legally married.... Though I would like to hear more of your reasoning.

 

[Jullianna]

If I were that guy, I would not stop dating her right away. I would give it some time. Time to allow her to see the power of Christ in my life and what real Christianity looks like, and time for Christ to do a work in me. As many of us know, when we come to Christ and He begins to recreate us in His image, we usually don't have to walk away from unbelieving friends/loved ones. They will walk away from us.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Should Joe....

leave Daphne...

because she isn't a Christian...

*sigh*

​

 

[Liamson]

I think the farther along they get, the more the divide will become apparent.

As someone who dated a Non-Christian for a long time, I can say that what seems like a little thing to her now, in time will break them.

She might see it as a phase or a hobby or a way for him to volunteer. But the truth does change. When he grows beyond this merely being a novelty, she will resent him.

Being a True Christian is life changing.

 

[Nautilus]

Guys you don't think that they have probably been sleeping together has any impact on this?

I mean Abraham accidentally slept with the wrong girl and was married.

Now I don't take the view that sleeping together automatically means you are married, but being together for five years, sleeping together and being committed to each other?

Our societies view of marriage is quite skewed, people just don't go out and say the vows, but I feel like in this case they might already be married in God's eyes, despite not saying the vows.

If you changed it to 20 years and it was a even long term partner but they had never formally got married?

I think you guys might be placing too much stock in the vows and being legally married.... Though I would like to hear more of your reasoning.

No one ever said they were sleeping together though and im not one to over-analyze a hypothetical situation

 

[Stuey]

Because non Christians dating each other for five years aren't going to be sleeping together???????

Maybe like 3 months.... lol

 

[Nautilus]

Perhaps...but also since no one said it...


Of course I wouldnt leave Daphne...did you see how hot she was?