Joe and Daphne (a hypothetical situation) - To yoke, or not to yoke

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GreenNnice

Guest
#41
#41
kayem77 said:
This is a complicated situation, but I think that even if Joe decided to stay with Daphne, their differences would eventually make their relationship break. Easier said than done, but I think Joe should say adios to Daphne. He could share the gospel (and he must) and give her some time to reflect...but if she remains an unbeliever then the only thing Joe can do is pray and pray and pray.

Noone can assure Joe that she will be saved through their marriage, actually, it can have the opposite effect. She could feel left out and abandoned, even misunderstood. Can you imagine going to church all by yourself? (While your spouse is waiting for you at home) Listening to worship music at home while your spouse looks at you as if you were a freak...knowing that she doesn't get it? I couldn't be able to give up to all those little things that we could do as a couple. Praying together, reading the Word together, worshipping together, thanking and praising God together, going on missions together....or even just knowing in your heart that if one of you dies, you will meet up again in Heaven.

So....I think my answer is ....eventually Yes.
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You think their differences would make them unequally yoked, but, what does God say. What are you hearing from him ? Reading Scripture should hear us something, KayM, but there's more than Scripture to govern us in life, His Spirit, who is to HELP us through our life.

Marrying a non-Christian is not what the bible says we should do, and, IF you are following Him do you want to do do what the bible expressly says not to do??

I do not. I want to follow His will for my life and it's quite simple to believe that God is not the author of confusion, LOL, Scripture says this too. We are to go to Him, and, yes, pray, pray, pray, in a situation like Joe in love with a girl who is no longer like him. She isn't. His religion has changed, whether it's of ANY religion, the consequences of this truth makes them living a different kind of life from that day forward that the one person changed.

Why is it so easy to embrace doing something that you don't need to do, why is 'love' so powerful an emotion that you would accept 'it' over His love that says what it says in Scripture because He is love, and, KNOWS what is perfect for us, not just best, PERFECT :)

Joe is choosing a different belief and therefore life, which is what Daphne now needs to choose, or not.
Her choice of 'not,' in my opinion, says that she does not REALLY love Joe.

Joe has changed who he is, not to mention where he is going, by understanding the grace of God through faith to ALL who believe :) .

It is very clear, the Lord leads, let Him, pray, pray, pray, good words kayM , but in the end, I am 99.99% certain He will say don;'t stay
 
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kayem77

Guest
#42
#42
GreenNnice said:
You think their differences would make them unequally yoked, but, what does God say. What are you hearing from him ? Reading Scripture should hear us something, KayM, but there's more than Scripture to govern us in life, His Spirit, who is to HELP us through our life.

Marrying a non-Christian is not what the bible says we should do, and, IF you are following Him do you want to do do what the bible expressly says not to do??

I do not. I want to follow His will for my life and it's quite simple to believe that God is not the author of confusion, LOL, Scripture says this too. We are to go to Him, and, yes, pray, pray, pray, in a situation like Joe in love with a girl who is no longer like him. She isn't. His religion has changed, whether it's of ANY religion, the consequences of this truth makes them living a different kind of life from that day forward that the one person changed.

Why is it so easy to embrace doing something that you don't need to do, why is 'love' so powerful an emotion that you would accept 'it' over His love that says what it says in Scripture because He is love, and, KNOWS what is perfect for us, not just best, PERFECT :)

Joe is choosing a different belief and therefore life, which is what Daphne now needs to choose, or not.
Her choice of 'not,' in my opinion, says that she does not REALLY love Joe.

Joe has changed who he is, not to mention where he is going, by understanding the grace of God through faith to ALL who believe :) .

It is very clear, the Lord leads, let Him, pray, pray, pray, good words kayM , but in the end, I am 99.99% certain He will say don;'t stay
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Mr. Green, I think you didn't understand what I was trying to say.:) I said '' eventually Yes'' to the question in the OP,which was ''Should Joe leave Daphne?''
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#43
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#43
Green in regards to my normal position on Christians marrying non Christians - My post is on the first page. I think its my second post.

http://christianchat.com/christian-...stian-if-you-just-loved-person-sooo-much.html

The reason I feel this situation is different is because I feel that the couple would already be married in God's eyes. Lets face it they would have been sleeping together for years. They are already committed to a lifelong relationship in my opinion.

In regards to a hypothetical situation where they haven't been sleeping together - I don't believe you just dump the girl instantly, that is so horrible and unloving. You would need time... a substantial amount of time for Daphne to actually understand why you are doing things.

I agree, don't get married, but instead of just breaking it off I think you should delay the wedding, hope she becomes Christian. Wait and give it time. Explain your reasoning, explain that you are heading in a new direction, you'd love her to join you but only if she accepts God.

But yeah... give it time, don't do anything rash.
 
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arwen83

Guest
#44
#44
Yes and no. Yes, if she can continue to respect his faith and belief, then it could work out. She may very well come around and seek Christ, and meet more people through Joe, work through some of those issues.

No, because values are different, which causes a fundamental gap between them. This can hinder communication. I once was listening to a radio program that interviewed seniors that were nearing the end of their lives. They asked them questions on a variety of things, one of them was about a lasting marriage. Most of them mentioned that if the core values of both individuals are similar, then a marriage can survive anything.

I experienced this yoke situation this past week with a male that I had grown closer to in the past month. Last week, we had a few deep conversations, where he mentioned that he wasn't christian. Although, I am very interested in him, it wouldn't work. I know guys like sex, a unbelieving boyfriend would have a hard time respecting my desire to wait until marriage, and I would also be tempted to go back on that promise to God of waiting until marriage.

Ultimately, I don't think its God's will for us to be with unbelievers, marriages/relationships are complicated enough without the conflicting beliefs and values.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#45
#45
kayem77 said:
Mr. Green, I think you didn't understand what I was trying to say.:) I said '' eventually Yes'' to the question in the OP,which was ''Should Joe leave Daphne?''
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That's fine, kayM, and, your answer from Him then, and, yes, 'eventually, yes' is my answer too, it's just going to be against Scripture and against an ability to grow in Him rightfully well. The person MAY change, but to marry them, go thru that process--that could be excruciatingly painful--before seeing their nor coming to Christ, and, worse yet, PROBABLY, trying to change you from a belief in Christ :( and DIVORCING them.

And, divorce would he far worse than tellling Daphne the bottom line Truth before getting married and truly madly deeply in love with them yet living with a different belief in your heart.

Hard to overcome that Truth.

I know, I know, I,zere, naut (yes, I'm still waiting for a prayerful honest response, not a 'hot' one nor a 'like' all the 'convert her,' answers, which are WRONG reasons to stay together!) , And, guys , I see your nice hearts,very, too, they'be had sex, so wrong for Joe to leave Daph cuz uh that. But, YOU READ 1 Corinthians 7 ! We are NOT to marry unbelievers. The Lord leads, but WHY would He have us marry a yoke that will STRAIN us ???

I soo want to believe she would SEE my lifestyle of Him changing me, which she sees and it changes her! But there is absolutely Jo guarantee of that happening and going into a lifetime relationship with that reality of the situation

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AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#46
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#46
Stuey said:
I agree, don't get married, but instead of just breaking it off I think you should delay the wedding, hope she becomes Christian. Wait and give it time. Explain your reasoning, explain that you are heading in a new direction, you'd love her to join you but only if she accepts God.

But yeah... give it time, don't do anything rash.
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Someone brought up that at such concerts like the one Joe was saved at often yields only temporary spiritual results, as in pretty soon Joe's new faith would lose its newness and he would go back to his old ways. Assuming that's not that case, it's even more likely for Daphne to have a fake or half-hearted conversion to Christianity just so she doesn't lose Joe if she were given such an ultimatum.

Imagine hearing that testimony. " my fiancé became a Christian and told me that if I didn't find Jesus, we couldn't get married and he would eventually leave me. So I found Jesus!" Even if he didn't tell her that's what he was waiting for, she would figure it out eventually.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#47
#47
AAAPlus said:
Someone brought up that at such concerts like the one Joe was saved at often yields only temporary spiritual results, as in pretty soon Joe's new faith would lose its newness and he would go back to his old ways. Assuming that's not that case, it's even more likely for Daphne to have a fake or half-hearted conversion to Christianity just so she doesn't lose Joe if she were given such an ultimatum.

Imagine hearing that testimony. " my fiancé became a Christian and told me that if I didn't find Jesus, we couldn't get married and he would eventually leave me. So I found Jesus!" Even if he didn't tell her that's what he was waiting for, she would figure it out eventually.
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Exactly. God has a plan for BOTH Joe and Daphne.

I can see what you say here Atriple+ . The testimony Daphne has is very simple, she was DUMPED because Joe came to know Christ. Now, IF she really loves Joe, even though they seperate, who knows, maybe that time away from each other from breaking things up could be just what God has PLANNED for bringing them together again. Just saying. Hey, it could happen , right. Or, not. Maybe, Daphne loses Joe but realizes Joe is still all that and a bag of chips AFTER he becomes a Christian, in fact, ALAS ! Daphne, as she sits lonely on her couch with no more Joe she begins to realize that Joe was even more GENUINE AFTER he became a Christian than when he was as a non-christian !!

Where do broken hearts go when a brokenness of the magnitude of this Joe-Daphne one happen?

To Satain or to God, right. Daphne will either REALLY go non-Christian hogwild, or, she will , in this alone time, embrace the reality of maybe no more Joe but this God in Joe seems really coool, he is gentler, nicer, less selfish than he was before the concert and accepting Christ. And, he was pretty darn awesome in the area of unselfishness and gentleness as a non-Christian, too, she thinks to herself.

So......... oh, I will leave it at that :)

Good post, tripAplus

Anyway, my thoughts, this is how God can work ,through brokenheartedness. Where do broken hearts go? To Satan or God after a break as such would be the magnitude of Joe and Daphne. And, you can BET
 
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