Wow, I have to say you are one amazing woman, and I am so sorry you find yourself in this struggle. I also have one heck of an amazing woman I was blessed with, so I can see the same qualities in you. We all have advice we can give from our varying perspectives, but this is between you, him, and God. All you can do is follow His will for you, just please be very careful. He should not be putting his hands on you at all. This is something only God can change. Listen I am not sure about PTSD, but I too hit a tragedy at 31 years old after my wife and I had already been together 14 years, and I broke. I would tell her stuff like “go find a whole man that can take care of you better”, and insane stuff like that.
I knew she loved me, but I wanted nothing but out, I just wanted to die period. It was crazy, but she stood by me, and that says NOTHING AT ALL EVER, EVER, EVER, of the kind of stuff she put up with as we were growing up together. Let’s just say I wasn’t raised in church, lol. The thing about it is I am sure there could have been 10,000 examples of her coming on this site, venting her frustrations with my antics, and being told to leave me and get herself right. You know what, many times they may have been right and maybe she shouldn’t have stayed, especially in those early days, but now I can look back and see it was always for His glory, and I praise His Mighty Name every day for every single second I have with her, and my two sons, and all my loved ones. I know how fragile life is and how dark this world can be, but I am praying for you right now to find the wisdom of God to help get you through this situation. Your husband may not be saved yet, I know I was in church for at least 5 years thinking I was a “Christian” yet knew Him not. Just because your husband has built churches and hung in there with the Christian folk, does not mean he is truly saved, especially if he was raised in it. You may be there to help to point him to it, maybe even by showing Gods love by keeping him in clean cloths and feeding him even though all this, but if He is rejecting that love, ESPECIALLY by putting his hands on you, then it may be necessary to show him what the withdrawing of that loves means too. Man I would love to be able to talk WITH him, not TOO him, just with him and maybe share some of the things I have come to see now He opened my eyes.
I love you sister and pray that God shows you His amazing power when He changes your husband overnight, He can do that and my wife got to see me going from a point I couldn’t even look another human being in the eyes, to KNOWING God, His Son, And His Holy Spirit in what I like to call my “Road to Damascus Experience” overnight, and I pray His glory is manifest in your husband to smash the chains that are crushing him now, in Jesus mighty name. Amen.