Kids?

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#41
May 23, 2009
16,441
5,389
113
#41
Wow, where were y'all when I was in high school... I could have used some backup.

I went to a Christian high school, and went through a phase of publicly admitting that I didn't want to have kids. It probably would have been easier just to declare that I'd become an atheist, because that's how the other girls reacted to me.

They all implied there must be something very unnatural and un-Christian about me because unlike them, I had no interest in herding my own flock of kids (but kudos to all those out there want to.)

My thinking reversed when I got into a serious relationship and eventually got married--I then thought it would be cool to have 1 child by birth and another by adoption... Maybe 2 by each. But none of that ever panned out.

Now, I just try to pray that I'll learn to be content in any given situation, though I do feel my window for having kids has closed. (Doesn't mean I'm not kicking and screaming all the way though... So maybe I've actually just been practicing for childbirth all along. :))
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#42
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#42
I wanted kids all my life, but no one wanted to have them with me and I'm not rich enough to buy one. So my only hope now is to rent one I guess..
 
C

Craigb513

Member
#43
Dec 15, 2016
104
26
18
#43
I do not even really think of this kind of optiom i think you can either pick 0 which you choose not to het married or have sex or you allow god to give you as many as possible, which is probablh the option i would pick
 
becky1984

becky1984

Member
#44
Apr 28, 2010
78
1
8
39
atlantic Canada
#44
I'm not interested in having kids. I don't have the money to raise a kid and I don't have the patience. I said I didn't want kids when I was a teenager and in my 20's and everybody said that I was still young and I would change my mind when I got older. I'm in my 30's now and I still don't want kids. I also have a lot of illness in my family that can be passed on too and thought of me being pregnant and going through child birth freaks me out lol. I love kids but I don't want any of my own. Some of my family members thing I will change my mind in my 40's and I said no.
 
I_am_Canadian

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
#45
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
822
113
#45
You know no one can force you to do something you dont want to do, but what are you going to do when your 90 years old on your death bed lonely and alone with no one to visit, because you were too afraid to step out of your comfort zone to have a family of your own? Im 32, and the idea of being alone the rest of my life kills me. If you really love kids why dont you want any of your own? don't let fear be the reason you miss out on some of Gods richest, greatest and precious gifts in life.


becky1984 said:
I'm not interested in having kids. I don't have the money to raise a kid and I don't have the patience. I said I didn't want kids when I was a teenager and in my 20's and everybody said that I was still young and I would change my mind when I got older. I'm in my 30's now and I still don't want kids. I also have a lot of illness in my family that can be passed on too and thought of me being pregnant and going through child birth freaks me out lol. I love kids but I don't want any of my own. Some of my family members thing I will change my mind in my 40's and I said no.
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Z

Zi

Guest
#46
#46
I have 1 and if I get married, I'd have more...
 
Conversationand

Conversationand

Senior Member
#47
Jun 24, 2017
368
20
0
#47
I'm pretty okay with 0 kids, but I would probaby want a few if I got married. I could have as many as I'm able to love all at once and support. Anything more would be selfish and irresponsible.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#48
#48
I_am_Canadian said:
You know no one can force you to do something you dont want to do, but what are you going to do when your 90 years old on your death bed lonely and alone with no one to visit, because you were too afraid to step out of your comfort zone to have a family of your own? Im 32, and the idea of being alone the rest of my life kills me. If you really love kids why dont you want any of your own? don't let fear be the reason you miss out on some of Gods richest, greatest and precious gifts in life.
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THAT is always the argument people give to those of us who don't want kids. "Oh but you'll be alone when you die". DUH! You do realize, that MOST people, whether they have families or not, die alone? Those romantic notions of family surrounding the dying at their bedside as the dying person takes their last breath are just that - romantic notions. It looks great in TV and in movies, but it rarely happens in real life. For most of us in the western world, we'll die in a hospital, most likely after visiting hours, and the only indication we've passed on is a flat-line on the heart monitor. If we're very lucky, we die in our sleep, and even if you share that bed with somebody, you'll still cross the threshold of death alone.

I personally think it's SICK to wish you have family to watch you die. I think it's SICK to want to put people through the loss and the grief.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#49
May 23, 2009
16,441
5,389
113
#49
I_am_Canadian said:
You know no one can force you to do something you dont want to do, but what are you going to do when your 90 years old on your death bed lonely and alone with no one to visit, because you were too afraid to step out of your comfort zone to have a family of your own? Im 32, and the idea of being alone the rest of my life kills me. If you really love kids why dont you want any of your own? don't let fear be the reason you miss out on some of Gods richest, greatest and precious gifts in life.
Click to expand...

I totally understand the fear of growing old and alone--I think about that too--but having a family is no guarantee of company.

I used to have a friend who had over 10 years' experience working in a nursing home, and he said the saddest thing to see was how few visits these people had over the years. It could very well be that the family you have only comes to see you when you really are on your death bed, and even then, many of them are just there to see if they're going to collect anything once you're gone.

I had a friend in prison I visited a couple times on Thanksgiving Day over the years. He lived in a cell block with 300 guys--and anywhere from 3-5 guys would get a visit that day.

My friend who worked in the nursing home said the holiday visitation for the residents where he worked wasn't all that much higher. Families were too busy with the own lives, so they simply put these people away and pretended they didn't exist.

Out of sight, out of mind. Cynical, but an all too common reality.

I also think of how God knits people together, even when it's not through blood--Jesus assigned John to look after His mother; the Princess of Egypt adopted Moses as her own; and even Paul was granted a son, through Timothy.

Who knows what God will do for us, even when we don't have families of our own. :)
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#50
#50
no 19 and counting for you?
Conversationand said:
I'm pretty okay with 0 kids, but I would probaby want a few if I got married. I could have as many as I'm able to love all at once and support. Anything more would be selfish and irresponsible.
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G

Galatea

Guest
#51
#51
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
THAT is always the argument people give to those of us who don't want kids. "Oh but you'll be alone when you die". DUH! You do realize, that MOST people, whether they have families or not, die alone? Those romantic notions of family surrounding the dying at their bedside as the dying person takes their last breath are just that - romantic notions. It looks great in TV and in movies, but it rarely happens in real life. For most of us in the western world, we'll die in a hospital, most likely after visiting hours, and the only indication we've passed on is a flat-line on the heart monitor. If we're very lucky, we die in our sleep, and even if you share that bed with somebody, you'll still cross the threshold of death alone.

I personally think it's SICK to wish you have family to watch you die. I think it's SICK to want to put people through the loss and the grief.
Click to expand...
Things are probably different in your part of the country, or maybe your family. In our family, if someone is in the hospital, they are not left alone. Period. Someone is with them all the time. We take turns. When my grandmother was dying of cancer, all of her sisters and grandchildren were able to tell her goodbye on her death bed and kiss her one last time. When she died, her pastor, my grandfather, my mother, and my uncle were present. I thank God we were able to be with her when she was on her deathbed, although it was heartwrenchingly painful to experience. I got to tell her "I'll see you again."

Death is not always lonely, although it is an experience one has alone.
 
Mitchell1989

Mitchell1989

Member
#52
May 25, 2016
77
1
0
#52
Tinuviel said:
I come from a family of ten kids. I loved growing up that way and always wanted to top it. No more than 16, though :p. Only mildly serious about 16...but I downright love kids. I'd love a big family. My definition of big is six or more.
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Wow, that's pretty impressive!

I have a large extended family, however my nuclear family has always been just my mom and I. One of my life goals has always been to have a large family, but for me 6 - 8 was the perfect number. More than that would definitely be VERYYY interesting!!! My thought is that you only live this life once and you might as well go big or go home! Lol
 
garet82

garet82

Senior Member
#53
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#53
Kids? They are cute n love them
But i havent decide it yet coz im not marry yet means im single n free to do all good things for helping kids and others around me.
Blessing
 
garet82

garet82

Senior Member
#54
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#54
I_am_Canadian said:
You know no one can force you to do something you dont want to do, but what are you going to do when your 90 years old on your death bed lonely and alone with no one to visit, because you were too afraid to step out of your comfort zone to have a family of your own? Im 32, and the idea of being alone the rest of my life kills me. If you really love kids why dont you want any of your own? don't let fear be the reason you miss out on some of Gods richest, greatest and precious gifts in life.
Click to expand...
Amen
Well said :) GBU
 
garet82

garet82

Senior Member
#55
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#55
zeroturbulence said:
I wanted kids all my life, but no one wanted to have them with me and I'm not rich enough to buy one. So my only hope now is to rent one I guess..
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Lol where will you rent one? Toy store? :D
 
garet82

garet82

Senior Member
#56
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#56
becky1984 said:
I'm not interested in having kids. I don't have the money to raise a kid and I don't have the patience. I said I didn't want kids when I was a teenager and in my 20's and everybody said that I was still young and I would change my mind when I got older. I'm in my 30's now and I still don't want kids. I also have a lot of illness in my family that can be passed on too and thought of me being pregnant and going through child birth freaks me out lol. I love kids but I don't want any of my own. Some of my family members thing I will change my mind in my 40's and I said no.
Click to expand...
Kids are blessing and we cant reject what God will give you. When you are marry n He give you kid(s) means He wanted you to raised them well n being responsible to lookafter them.
I do understand your fears n difficulty of being pregnant and going through child birth i see lots of difficulties the women have but thats natural process of live. Dont be afraid with that.
No one knows their live ppl can get or look so healthy but suddenly get bad ill so who am i to be afraid? Our live is in Jesus' hands n He will and always be with you in all conditions amen.
Enjoy what God has given to you and dont decide something beautiful you never know.
Children are blessing and tne are our future n the owner of the heavenly Kingdom so if God gives you one or more accept them n love them.
blessing amen
 
I_am_Canadian

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
#57
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
822
113
#57
I want 6 to 12 kids.


MollyConnor said:
How many kids do you want? I often think about this. It's weird because just a few years ago I didn't want any. Now that I'm older I would like some. I want three. Two boys and a girl. :p

Of course not until I'm married obviously.
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notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#58
May 26, 2016
4,927
1,272
113
#58
i decided i don't want kids.


my kids are taking it pretty hard.

:p
 
V

Vangelina

Member
#59
Mar 19, 2017
71
0
6
#59
I already have 2boys dont think to add more,but if i married again,maybe i want add one beautiful girl. Just add one no more
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#60
#60
I used to want five kids, cause well I love them. However some news in the last year says I may not be able to have them. It took me a while to be content with not having any but it's up to God and my future husband to make that decision and I'm okay :)
 
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