Ladies, What Kind of Hairstyles Do You Like on Guys?

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Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
469
281
63
My wife and I were talking to one of the women I most respect at church about a transvestite we know. We were explaining (or TRYING to explain) a rather embarrassing situation that occurred.

After unsuccessfully trying to decipher our PC way of describing his obvious sexual excitement that dramatically distorted the fit of his/her tight dress, our friend came right out and said: "You mean he had a _________ on?

She only spoke the language and used the common street terminology I would have used in one of my therapy classes. The same term most of us have employed to describe that condition. But in our foolish thinking that we had to be different within the "hallowed" walls of church, we only made communication embarrassingly more difficult.

Guess what? I still respect her just as much today as I did before that conversation.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
971
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It sounds like you don't know any Christian men who are dressing or behaving in an immodest way, and therefore have no experience with it.

That's awesome, you are very blessed. :) It also seems that with men, the problem might be more with modest behavior rather than modest dress.

I think most men know or assume whether or not they have a showcase body. The ones who don't usually cover up, and the ones who do, well, maybe they might have to make the decision not to flaunt themselves. I had an ex who was always at the gym but he just wore plain t-shirts, though he would have looked good in shirts that showed off his muscle tone.

I'm not sure if men realize how hard shopping can be when you're a woman, either. The fallout from stars like Kim Kardashian is that everything in the stores is cut to show and flaunt.

Most women can't afford tailor-made clothes, but that's about what it comes down to. I have been trying to find shorts to wear to the gym for ages, and check every store I go into. But it seems there are only two choices -- yoga pants, which are long, but super tight, and "shorts" that are short enough to pretty much moon the entire gym.

I personally don't like either one, so I've been meaning to try to make some myself. But that takes time and an interest in sewing that many might not have.

Men probably don't have much problem finding modest clothes, but for women... Well, maybe Alby's picture of old-time Amish style is about all we would have to choose from.
The conversation of modesty usually always revolves around apparel though. I understand what you are saying about behavior, but that is a matter of character. What you described as “Christian men” acting in unrighteous ways, seems less about modesty (being suggestive in such a way as to attract attention) and more so guys acting worldly, lustful, and fleshly.

Just because they profess to be Christian, doesn’t mean they are or were raised properly in how to conduct theirselves around women and towards women. The things you described could, for example, cause someone in church to be reprimanded, or if a leader, lose their position of elder. To be corrected because those things are not a matter of modesty, no that is too light. We are talking blatant sin.

As I understand modesty, it’s more for them than for you. Yet even then some people an ankle gets them going (lol) and are you then to wear knee high socks all the time? To a major degree, it’s personal convictions.
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
469
281
63
The conversation of modesty usually always revolves around apparel though. I understand what you are saying about behavior, but that is a matter of character. What you described as “Christian men” acting in unrighteous ways, seems less about modesty (being suggestive in such a way as to attract attention) and more so guys acting worldly, lustful, and fleshly.

Just because they profess to be Christian, doesn’t mean they are or were raised properly in how to conduct theirselves around women and towards women. The things you described could, for example, cause someone in church to be reprimanded, or if a leader, lose their position of elder. To be corrected because those things are not a matter of modesty, no that is too light. We are talking blatant sin.

As I understand modesty, it’s more for them than for you. Yet even then some people an ankle gets them going (lol) and are you then to wear knee high socks all the time? To a major degree, it’s personal convictions.
Did you know that in traditional Japanese culture, the nape of a woman's neck is considered the ultimate in erotic exposure?
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
981
113
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you cant hide sexy........ dont judge me! I was born this way!!!!!! hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa and ha.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
My wife and I were talking to one of the women I most respect at church about a transvestite we know. We were explaining (or TRYING to explain) a rather embarrassing situation that occurred.

After unsuccessfully trying to decipher our PC way of describing his obvious sexual excitement that dramatically distorted the fit of his/her tight dress, our friend came right out and said: "You mean he had a _________ on?

She only spoke the language and used the common street terminology I would have used in one of my therapy classes. The same term most of us have employed to describe that condition. But in our foolish thinking that we had to be different within the "hallowed" walls of church, we only made communication embarrassingly more difficult.

Guess what? I still respect her just as much today as I did before that conversation.

Ghoti,

I will definitely be looking forward to more of your posts.

I am greatly interested in the work you and your wife have done, and am looking forward to learning more about your experiences.

This post embodies a good portion of my own frustrations with Christian "limitations." I was raised in a very proper Christian church where it felt like any topic beyond praise, worship, and study of the Word was forbidden or restricted. Certain things were not to be talked about and even if they were, everything had to be in Christianese, which, as you illustrated, is not always effective.

Growing up, my whole train of thought was, "But isn't this WHY we try to improve ourselves as Christians in the first place? To get people saved, and then to help them through everyday, real-life problems? But how can we help them if we can't TALK about anything???!!!"

I hope you will continue to share the things you have seen and learned over the years in your career.

God bless!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
Did you know that in traditional Japanese culture, the nape of a woman's neck is considered the ultimate in erotic exposure?
I was also thinking of the culture obsession with female foot-binding in traditional China.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
you cant hide sexy........ dont judge me! I was born this way!!!!!! hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa and ha.
And... As usual, Eli has earned himself a spot in the timeout corner of this thread. :LOL::rolleyes::cool:

Seriously.

Are any of us surprised? :cautious:;):ROFL:
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
469
281
63
Did you know that in traditional Japanese culture, the nape of a woman's neck is considered the ultimate in erotic exposure?
Think about that in conjunction with what we have been talking about. Even stodgy Traditionalists don't consider a woman wearing her hair up, to be immodest...…… but, do that in an old Japanese person's house, and they would think you were falunting.

I think it has been well expressed here that most of this stuff is in the mind of the recipient (observer).
 
S

Susanna

Guest
Sometimes it’s quite relaxing being a shallow minded person.

I’m not sure what my take on all this modest/immodest talk is, but at my age all that seems to be not so important.

I’m glad I’m not young anymore. That was rather exhausting to be honest.

At this point of life I dress like I please even though the modesty police will come after me😁. And vice versa.
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
469
281
63
Ghoti,

I will definitely be looking forward to more of your posts.

I am greatly interested in the work you and your wife have done, and am looking forward to learning more about your experiences.

This post embodies a good portion of my own frustrations with Christian "limitations." I was raised in a very proper Christian church where it felt like any topic beyond praise, worship, and study of the Word was forbidden or restricted. Certain things were not to be talked about and even if they were, everything had to be in Christianese, which, as you illustrated, is not always effective.

Growing up, my whole train of thought was, "But isn't this WHY we try to improve ourselves as Christians in the first place? To get people saved, and then to help them through everyday, real-life problems? But how can we help them if we can't TALK about anything???!!!"

I hope you will continue to share the things you have seen and learned over the years in your career.

God bless!
If I talked "Christianeeze" to 90% of the people I've dealt with over the years, most of my efforts would have been in vain.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
971
113
31
Sure thing! :)
I feel uncomfortable when men walk around without a shirt. I don't think that either gender should wear short shorts either. I understand that can be difficult if the person is tall. You can usually tell if the person does it on purpose or just doesn't have much options.
It's not uncommon for me to see a man's butt crack because his pants are too low. You would think this is just a younger man's issue...but that's not always the case.

Also, just like Seoul says, modesty is not just about clothes but about the way you act, talk and think. Many men struggle with that too. I'm not saying women don't struggle with modesty. I see women, I go to the beach sometimes. I have a younger brother that I understand a man's perspective. It is crazy and I feel for you men of God. I really do. But I just find it a little annoying when men think modesty is only an issue for women.
Being slightly comical here, but do you see Christian men at church shirtless? Lol
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,545
5,068
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You people talk too fast for a forum thread. I keep trying to catch up with the thread, but every time I go back to the Singles forum main page there's a new post here.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
Whew!!!

One thing is for sure, this sure has been a lively discussion!!! :D

I want to sincerely thank everyone for the contributions and hope people will continue to add their thoughts...

And that level of activity like this will also carry on into future threads. :)

God bless you all and thank you for posting!
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
971
113
31
Being slightly comical here, but do you see Christian men at church shirtless? Lol
@seoulsearch I think this goes back to your astute point. Modesty in the form of apparel seems to be a woman issue way more so than for men. The only thing I can possibly think of is if a man is wearing an overthrow with no undershirt to show off his abs. Lol
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
You people talk too fast for a forum thread. I keep trying to catch up with the thread, but every time I go back to the Singles forum main page there's a new post here.
Back in the day, this is how the Singles Forum used to be all the time, and with several threads going on all at once.

That's why I limited myself to hanging out in Singles almost exclusively -- it was hard to keep up! :):coffee::geek:
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,466
6,588
113
Whew!!!

One thing is for sure, this sure has been a lively discussion!!! :D

I want to sincerely thank everyone for the contributions and hope people will continue to add their thoughts...

And that level of activity like this will also carry on into future threads. :)

God bless you all and thank you for posting!
Kim, you are one of the very few who always bring great discussions to the table - so thank you for always doing so.

:)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,422
3,575
113
Kim, you are one of the very few who always bring great discussions to the table - so thank you for always doing so.

:)
Thanks very much, Mel.

Honestly, I can't take any credit though. Great discussions rely on great members and their participation, like all of you!

Seriously, I really think what happens is that I wind up saying something or wording something in a way that gets people all riled up, so the conversations just seem to explode from there, lol. :)

Blessings to you, Sister!