learning to be patient and wait on the Lord

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selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#1
i want to be married so bad. i know the Lord will do his will in my life, it's just hard to be lonely and wanting a wife and be surrounded by females who do not love the Lord. i could never marry a non-believer. please pray for me to have patience and trust in the Lord!
he is teaching me to be content with where i am and to be thankful for what i already have, which i am very thankful for. Thanks for praying for me!
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
14,126
7,605
113
#2
I understand the desire to be married. I also understand, from experience, what it is like to be married and to wonder what it would be like to be single again.

Marriage is neither paradise nor panacea, and is neither promised nor prescribed. It has many of the same blessings and challenges that singleness does, and some that singleness does not. It's not some sort of "ideal state". It is the will of God for sex and procreation, and is a fantastic idea for companionship, mutual support, and edification.

It sounds like you're well on your way to trusting and waiting. Continue to focus on being a godly man in every way, and put the desire for marriage fully in the Lord's hands. Ask His guidance as to whether to search for a prospective bride... or not. He is good, and He has good plans for you. :)
 

selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#3
I understand the desire to be married. I also understand, from experience, what it is like to be married and to wonder what it would be like to be single again.

Marriage is neither paradise nor panacea, and is neither promised nor prescribed. It has many of the same blessings and challenges that singleness does, and some that singleness does not. It's not some sort of "ideal state". It is the will of God for sex and procreation, and is a fantastic idea for companionship, mutual support, and edification.

It sounds like you're well on your way to trusting and waiting. Continue to focus on being a godly man in every way, and put the desire for marriage fully in the Lord's hands. Ask His guidance as to whether to search for a prospective bride... or not. He is good, and He has good plans for you. :)
thank you for the encouraging words Dino :)
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#4
I'm not sure God brings us a spouse. I mean maybe he does but it wouldn't make sense. We each have free will right? So God cannot force anyone to fall in love with anyone else. He could let them meet and try to push them with each other...but sometimes we don't like what God sends us...so we keep looking for someone better. It's sad but that's how this ugly broken world works. Life just sucks most of the time.
So if you meet a girl you like...don't wait for God to bring you two together. Go up to her and ask her out. Take initiative.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,145
113
#5
Hello selfdisolving. I just want to remind you, while you are wanting to be married so badly. Waiting for God to bring you a woman, that pool of single Christian women is shrinking. Sorry bro, time to ask some ladies out.
 

Gerlyn

New member
Jun 25, 2018
15
4
3
#6
i want to be married so bad. i know the Lord will do his will in my life, it's just hard to be lonely and wanting a wife and be surrounded by females who do not love the Lord. i could never marry a non-believer. please pray for me to have patience and trust in the Lord!
he is teaching me to be content with where i am and to be thankful for what i already have, which i am very thankful for. Thanks for praying for me!
i want to be married so bad. i know the Lord will do his will in my life, it's just hard to be lonely and wanting a wife and be surrounded by females who do not love the Lord. i could never marry a non-believer. please pray for me to have patience and trust in the Lord!
he is teaching me to be content with where i am and to be thankful for what i already have, which i am very thankful for. Thanks for praying for me!
i want to be married so bad. i know the Lord will do his will in my life, it's just hard to be lonely and wanting a wife and be surrounded by females who do not love the Lord. i could never marry a non-believer. please pray for me to have patience and trust in the Lord!
he is teaching me to be content with where i am and to be thankful for what i already have, which i am very thankful for. Thanks for praying for me!
 

Gerlyn

New member
Jun 25, 2018
15
4
3
#7
Genesis 2:18 Lord God said "it is not good for the man to be alone I will make a helper suitable for him.. Just pray for your future wife.. God bless
 
Jun 26, 2018
28
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#8
I totally relate to this.
I guess God knows what He is doing. He has good plans for us all, to prosper us.
Thank you for sharing ❤
 

selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#9
I'm not sure God brings us a spouse. I mean maybe he does but it wouldn't make sense. We each have free will right? So God cannot force anyone to fall in love with anyone else. He could let them meet and try to push them with each other...but sometimes we don't like what God sends us...so we keep looking for someone better. It's sad but that's how this ugly broken world works. Life just sucks most of the time.
So if you meet a girl you like...don't wait for God to bring you two together. Go up to her and ask her out. Take initiative.
i agree with the last two sentences of your post. All things that take place are a part of God's provident will. God in his omniscience and omnipotence works all things together for the good of the Church, so i take comfort knowing his providential will is always done, every time. God's will cannot be foiled and cannot does not fail at anything he purposes to do in his Sovereign will, so trying to push two people together and failing is not possible. Not liking what God sends us is something i cannot fathom right now, because if God wills it then i like it because it's Gods will not because of the particular attributes of the thing itself. If i meet a girl i like, and take initiative to ask her out, it is God's will because all things are allowed of him.
Check out the doctrine of providence. It clears up a lot of confusion about God's will and Sovereignty in a fallen world.
here is an article which expounds upon this quite profoundly http://cicministry.org/commentary/issue113.htm
 

selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#10
my problem isn't so much not taking initiative and not being able to ask a girl out, it's finding a Christian woman who confesses Christ and desires to live a Christ centered life in marriage. I'm not smoking hot by any means, but i do get attention from the ladies, the problem is they want nothing to do with Jesus. I can't tell you how many times I've engaged a female in conversation and had strong chemistry with her, only to have her do a total 180 when she finds out i'm Christian. It goes from sparks flying through the air to hidden faces, averted eyes and avoided contact. It's even happened with females who go to Church every Sunday.

Trusting the Lord and waiting patiently is the only choice we really have, and when we truly consider it, it's the only choice we've ever really had with regards to every area of life, whether we realize it or not. The way i see it, i can either wait on the Lord with impatience, anxiety and fear, or i can wait on the Lord with patience, peace, and trust in the One who works all things according to the counsel of his own Sovereign will and the working of his omnipotent power.

Thoughts?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,893
3,442
113
#11
While you're being patient, be active. Don't put your whole life on hold to wait for a spouse. When you meet the spouse, you want to have a real life to offer her to be part of. You don't want to have to say "here, I have an empty life waiting for you to give it meaning and substance."

And if you never find her, you don't want to get to the end of your life and realize you wasted the whole thing waiting for somebody who never showed up.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,009
2,140
113
#12
OP, are you involved in any local ministries? or ministries at your local assembly? i'm not saying each person who participates in a ministry is going to be someone who wholeheartedly loves the Lord, but the chances of meeting someone who does increases compares to someone who "just goes to church on Sundays." but of course, a friendly reminder, we are to be ministers for the honor and glory of God, not to meet someone/spouse. lol.

just a thought.
 
Jun 30, 2018
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#13
Hi selfdissolving,

There are many activities that can prepare us for dating and marriage. I agree with melita916 that serving the same ministry often leads to solid friendships rooted in Christ. Joining a serious Bible study group - such as Bible Study Fellowship - can be helpful as everyone shares prayers and discusses life problems together in a structured environment. While waiting, I also benefited a lot from church-organized seminars and Christian books on relationships, such as Love & Respect, 5 languages of Love, and Dr. Henry Cloud's relationship coaching books - I also put the principles I learnt into practice through participating in Singles Ministries... Finally, trust that God has the perfect timing for each of us. I pray that Lord guides you and gives you courage to take charge of your relationships. Keep trying!
 

selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#14
OP, are you involved in any local ministries? or ministries at your local assembly? i'm not saying each person who participates in a ministry is going to be someone who wholeheartedly loves the Lord, but the chances of meeting someone who does increases compares to someone who "just goes to church on Sundays." but of course, a friendly reminder, we are to be ministers for the honor and glory of God, not to meet someone/spouse. lol.

just a thought.
i am not currently involved in any formal, structured ministries in my local area and am still looking for a Christ-centric, Gospel-centric church home to become part of. i totally understand and agree with everything you said, now i just wait on the Lord and keep searching.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#15
Marriage is not a promise. It's a tough pill to swallow and most Christians refuse to accept it. It may happen, it may not.
I have a cousin that is 60, Christian. He was never married, despite having always wanted marriage. He did finally marry, but it seems more out of desperation than love. Now, less than a year in, hes facing the possibility of divorce.
I myself am 42, never married, no prospects. I will never be in a situation that will allow me to be a provider. I'm emotionally damaged at this point. I've wanted marriage all my life but I've every reason to believe it will never happen.
If it were a promise then people wouldn't go their whole lives and die never marrying. But it happens. If it were a promise then that would make God a liar. And He's not.
 

selfdissolving

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2018
536
431
63
34
#16
Marriage is not a promise. It's a tough pill to swallow and most Christians refuse to accept it. It may happen, it may not.
I have a cousin that is 60, Christian. He was never married, despite having always wanted marriage. He did finally marry, but it seems more out of desperation than love. Now, less than a year in, hes facing the possibility of divorce.
I myself am 42, never married, no prospects. I will never be in a situation that will allow me to be a provider. I'm emotionally damaged at this point. I've wanted marriage all my life but I've every reason to believe it will never happen.
If it were a promise then people wouldn't go their whole lives and die never marrying. But it happens. If it were a promise then that would make God a liar. And He's not.
i agree, and i understand that waiting on the Lord means waiting on him to do his will, not my will.
i also don't think that waiting on the Lord implies one single event, but rather a condition of heart in which we are surrendered to his providence in every area of our lives, every day waiting patiently for his purpose to unfold. make sense?
 
Jun 30, 2018
29
38
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#17
i am not currently involved in any formal, structured ministries in my local area and am still looking for a Christ-centric, Gospel-centric church home to become part of. i totally understand and agree with everything you said, now i just wait on the Lord and keep searching.
I was church hunting last summer. I attended Sunday Services at different types of churches and asked myself, "Does the sermon speak to me?" It'd be very helpful to seek advice from mature Christians - ask which church they like/don't like and why. Try out some activities in the church you are interested in and see if you are comfortable with the community. Have fun exploring. God will show you the way!
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#18
i agree, and i understand that waiting on the Lord means waiting on him to do his will, not my will.
i also don't think that waiting on the Lord implies one single event, but rather a condition of heart in which we are surrendered to his providence in every area of our lives, every day waiting patiently for his purpose to unfold. make sense?
Yes it makes sense. After nearly 30 years of being a Christian what you said is something learned long ago.
 
Aug 12, 2015
104
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#19
Hello,brother. I could really understand your mood and thoughts on marriage, cuz I've been expecting for a godly man and wanting to enter into marriage for a long time. But after experiencing some things, I came to realize the will of God for me now is preparing and building myself for marriage from all aspects. And the most important point I got recently is that God is my centre of life and all my hope rather than any other person or thing. And to be patient, surrender all his wills for us in his timing and plan. Enjoy every single day with our beloved Jesus, trust one day God will bring the right woman in front of you:)
And I want to share some verses with you,
Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. ( Psalm 25:3 )
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ( Hebrews 11:1 )
I wait for the Lord , my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. ( Psalm 130:5 )
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,266
113
#20
my problem isn't so much not taking initiative and not being able to ask a girl out, it's finding a Christian woman who confesses Christ and desires to live a Christ centered life in marriage. I'm not smoking hot by any means, but i do get attention from the ladies, the problem is they want nothing to do with Jesus. I can't tell you how many times I've engaged a female in conversation and had strong chemistry with her, only to have her do a total 180 when she finds out i'm Christian. It goes from sparks flying through the air to hidden faces, averted eyes and avoided contact. It's even happened with females who go to Church every Sunday.

Trusting the Lord and waiting patiently is the only choice we really have, and when we truly consider it, it's the only choice we've ever really had with regards to every area of life, whether we realize it or not. The way i see it, i can either wait on the Lord with impatience, anxiety and fear, or i can wait on the Lord with patience, peace, and trust in the One who works all things according to the counsel of his own Sovereign will and the working of his omnipotent power.

Thoughts?
Keep the faith..there are single women out there that try and walk thier talk and faith..im one of them :)