Lets laugh together!

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Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,000
3,588
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Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,000
3,588
113
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police.

The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.

"Yes," she replied. "Please tell him Mother didn't come after all."
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,000
3,588
113
What should you do if you are attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the Juggler...
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,000
3,588
113
When little Johnny was eight his Dad was taking him to see a movie. On the way there he asked him if he would buy me some gum. He said, "No, you don't need any."

After arriving at the theater and taking their seats, Dad changed his mind. He told little Johnny it would be okay for him to have some gum and he was going to get it.

Little Johnny spoke up and said, "You don't need to buy me gum anymore, Daddy. I found some under the seat."
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,099
113
I really enjoy all of these things! I have to admit there was one or two I didn't understand.