M
My husband and I did the love language test and read the book together several years ago. My love language is quality time, with physical touch being lowest on the list- so naturally, my husband's love language is physical touch, and the one he scored the lowest on was quality time.
We're totally opposite in so many ways, and we've had a difficult time figuring each other out. The amount of times I've given up...ugh. But we've also never both made an effort to focus on God, together. Until this past year, after I came home. It's amazing how much different things are when we both take time to pray, to listen to a sermon and talk about it, to serve each other instead of ourselves.
Sometimes it's hard. There are still days when I wonder if coming back was the right thing...though those days happen less and less, now. We do fight. We do say hurtful things. But far more often, we communicate what's upsetting us and we both are learning how to swallow our pride to meet each other's needs.
Something I've had to accept is that no two relationships can be compared- you can't look at what's on the surface of someone else's marriage and examine it next to your own and conclude that yours/theirs is better/worse. This wasn't something I would do on purpose, it just sort of started happening when I would talk to a certain friend. She would tell me how things were going, a nice thing her husband had done or a funny moment they shared, and part of me would feel envious because My husband didn't do that, or because it seemed like We were always arguing, or whatever it was. Then I found out that this friend was being sexually abused by her husband, among other awful things. And part of me couldn't help but think At least that doesn't happen in my marriage. My point is, you just can't judge the health or quality of Your own relationship by what you see in any other relationship.
I think what I'm saying with all this is to mind your own business, focus on God, and put your spouse above yourself. Or I might not have said any of that at all, in which case my best bet here is to stop sniffing paint fumes and eat dinner.
We're totally opposite in so many ways, and we've had a difficult time figuring each other out. The amount of times I've given up...ugh. But we've also never both made an effort to focus on God, together. Until this past year, after I came home. It's amazing how much different things are when we both take time to pray, to listen to a sermon and talk about it, to serve each other instead of ourselves.
Sometimes it's hard. There are still days when I wonder if coming back was the right thing...though those days happen less and less, now. We do fight. We do say hurtful things. But far more often, we communicate what's upsetting us and we both are learning how to swallow our pride to meet each other's needs.
Something I've had to accept is that no two relationships can be compared- you can't look at what's on the surface of someone else's marriage and examine it next to your own and conclude that yours/theirs is better/worse. This wasn't something I would do on purpose, it just sort of started happening when I would talk to a certain friend. She would tell me how things were going, a nice thing her husband had done or a funny moment they shared, and part of me would feel envious because My husband didn't do that, or because it seemed like We were always arguing, or whatever it was. Then I found out that this friend was being sexually abused by her husband, among other awful things. And part of me couldn't help but think At least that doesn't happen in my marriage. My point is, you just can't judge the health or quality of Your own relationship by what you see in any other relationship.
I think what I'm saying with all this is to mind your own business, focus on God, and put your spouse above yourself. Or I might not have said any of that at all, in which case my best bet here is to stop sniffing paint fumes and eat dinner.
