Midnight Confessions

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
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Quite comforting to me. Thank you.
You are welcome, Jerry :) I am finding this an interesting and relevant little "sidetrack." :D

Persistent prayer - Is it biblical? Is it acceptable to repeatedly
pray for the same thing, or should we ask only once?


Persistent prayer is something on which Christians do not always agree, but the Bible gives some guidance. Luke 11:5-13 records the parable of the friend at midnight. In it, a man who knocks repeatedly on his friend's door receives what he requests more so because of his persistence than because of the friendship. Jesus goes on to say that if we ask, seek, and knock, we will receive. He further elaborates that humans – who are sinful – give good gifts to their children; He states that our heavenly Father will give us even greater gifts. This is a picture of persistent and expectant prayer. We trust that God is good, and so we ask for His gifts. Luke 18:1-7 shares a similar parable, this time of a widow and an unjust judge.

However, Paul remarks in 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 that he pled to the Lord for something three times. God refused Paul's request. Interestingly, Paul ceased praying, not because he gave up or thought it inappropriate to ask God more than three times, but because he had received an answer. It just happened that the answer was no.

Some see repeatedly asking God for the same thing as a lack of faith or a sign that we do not trust that God heard our prayers. They assume that persistent prayer is presumptuous and rude. Others see not repeatedly asking for something as a lack of faith or a sign that we do not trust in God's goodness. Not persisting in prayer means we have given up too easily.

In truth, both perspectives can be valid. The Bible encourages us to ask God for things. It demonstrates persistent prayers. Paul pled with God three times before receiving a solid answer. David made consistent requests of God in the Psalms. Jesus even prayed three times regarding the cross (Matthew 26:36-46). When we bring our requests to God, we honor Him. We reveal the desires of our hearts, and we admit that only He can meet them. Often, our repeated requests relate to other people. In those instances their hearts must be changed in order for our request to be granted.

On the other hand, sometimes repeatedly asking for the same thing demonstrates our unwillingness to accept God's response. Some treat repeated requests as a sort of magic formula that will force God's hand. God is not obligated to say yes to our every request. Rather than submit to His will, sometimes we persist in prayer over something for which we have already received a response. God has told us no, and, like a rebellious child, we refuse to accept it.

We know that God is good and that He desires to give us good gifts (Matthew 7:7-11; Luke 11:13). We can continue to seek Him through prayer and to make our requests known to Him (Philippians 4:6). But in our persistence we must be willing to submit to God's will. God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). We know that whatever we ask in His will is granted (1 John 5:14-15). We also know that sometimes our hearts do not understand His will or His timing. At times we must be willing to wait for God's yes to manifest. Other times we must be willing to accept no for an answer. When we know God and trust His good character, we can repeatedly bring Him the same request and rest in the fact that His response will be best for us. God desires both our persistence and our submission.
source
 
Apr 21, 2020
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Well according to the original post by @tourist , this thread is for

"A forum for the one secret confession that you do not want revealed, but are brave enough to admit for all to see".

I'm opening myself up here in a way that I'm not entirely comfortable with at all to be honest, but I have suffered with depression for about 10 years, attempted suicide twice, and consider suicide almost daily.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,716
113
Well according to the original post by @tourist , this thread is for

"A forum for the one secret confession that you do not want revealed, but are brave enough to admit for all to see".

I'm opening myself up here in a way that I'm not entirely comfortable with at all to be honest, but I have suffered with depression for about 10 years, attempted suicide twice, and consider suicide almost daily.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
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Tennessee
Well according to the original post by @tourist , this thread is for

"A forum for the one secret confession that you do not want revealed, but are brave enough to admit for all to see".

I'm opening myself up here in a way that I'm not entirely comfortable with at all to be honest, but I have suffered with depression for about 10 years, attempted suicide twice, and consider suicide almost daily.
I can relate to depression because I have suffered with this malady since my teen years.

Regarding suicide the movie 'It's A Wonderful Life' comes to mine as the character that attempted it was counseled by an angel who pointed out what a positive difference he made in the world from being alive and living his life verse how it would be if he was never born. I also know someone who committed suicide as a result of years of pain, anxiety, and depression. I am sure that the world is a better place for having you in it and will be a poorer place when the time comes for you to leave it. I hope that can be said for me as well.

Each morning before I go to work I get on my knees asking God to calm my fears so that I can face the world and to stay with me by my side as we face the challenges and struggles that may come our way. during the day. I all of my fear and anxiety over to God during this prayer.

I will remember you tomorrow in the early morning in my prayers. "Fear not" says the Lord. Yes, I know that is easier said than done but God can and will remove the burden that you are carrying and lighten your load. He will carry if for you and stay with you because that's what He's there for. He does this out of love for you.

Please take comfort in knowing that you're not alone in this.
 
Apr 21, 2020
621
176
43
I can relate to depression because I have suffered with this malady since my teen years.

Regarding suicide the movie 'It's A Wonderful Life' comes to mine as the character that attempted it was counseled by an angel who pointed out what a positive difference he made in the world from being alive and living his life verse how it would be if he was never born. I also know someone who committed suicide as a result of years of pain, anxiety, and depression. I am sure that the world is a better place for having you in it and will be a poorer place when the time comes for you to leave it. I hope that can be said for me as well.

Each morning before I go to work I get on my knees asking God to calm my fears so that I can face the world and to stay with me by my side as we face the challenges and struggles that may come our way. during the day. I all of my fear and anxiety over to God during this prayer.

I will remember you tomorrow in the early morning in my prayers. "Fear not" says the Lord. Yes, I know that is easier said than done but God can and will remove the burden that you are carrying and lighten your load. He will carry if for you and stay with you because that's what He's there for. He does this out of love for you.

Please take comfort in knowing that you're not alone in this.
Yes it's something I struggle with every day, to the point that I think I will end up taking my own life one day.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,716
113
Yes it's something I struggle with every day, to the point that I think I will end up taking my own life one day.
I am truly sorry to hear that :cry: I pray you find purpose, meaning, and hope enough to counter this self destructive drive.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
6,732
3,559
113
Overwhelmed with so many different emotions; it’s exhausting.
Deep breath.....wrap your arms around yourself......give yourself a hug......and say, “God loves me and has a plan for me and solutions to all my problems.......

Lord, I trust You and rest in Your Love for me.”

Now, SMILE......He likes to surprise us.....He works in secret, we only know what He is doing if the Holy Spirit tells or shows us but, when we don’t know.......we CAN ALWAYS TRUST HIS LOVE FOR US. :love:(y)

You are loved.....:love:(y)
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
822
93
Deep breath.....wrap your arms around yourself......give yourself a hug......and say, “God loves me and has a plan for me and solutions to all my problems.......

Lord, I trust You and rest in Your Love for me.”

Now, SMILE......He likes to surprise us.....He works in secret, we only know what He is doing if the Holy Spirit tells or shows us but, when we don’t know.......we CAN ALWAYS TRUST HIS LOVE FOR US. :love:(y)

You are loved.....:love:(y)
Thank you for this precious reminder. 💗💗
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
my mum had this idea that children were meant to look after their parents and not the other way round. I said to her hold on, parents are meant to look after their children. Didnt your parents look after you??

can someone tell me if I just live in an upside down that I think parents ought to look after their children. It just seemed like a radical concept that surely children need looking after. How can I explain that to people that children are not equipped to look after their parents. They are just not.

i think on this because I am refusing to order fathers day books for the bookshop to sell to children to give to their parents, what child can afford that. Mothers day is the same. Just seeems weird to me.
you see retailers with ads going buy this and that for fathers and mothers day and its uusally the most expensive thing like you have to bribe your parents or something.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
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my mum had this idea that children were meant to look after their parents and not the other way round. I said to her hold on, parents are meant to look after their children. Didnt your parents look after you??

can someone tell me if I just live in an upside down that I think parents ought to look after their children. It just seemed like a radical concept that surely children need looking after. How can I explain that to people that children are not equipped to look after their parents. They are just not.

i think on this because I am refusing to order fathers day books for the bookshop to sell to children to give to their parents, what child can afford that. Mothers day is the same. Just seeems weird to me.
you see retailers with ads going buy this and that for fathers and mothers day and its uusally the most expensive thing like you have to bribe your parents or something.
Age and culture are key factors in this discussion...
When kids are young - parents care for them
When parents are old - children care for them
Unconditional love from child to parent can be demonstrated in so many ways where cost of a gift is not as important as the thought/gesture...
While my kids were young - it was not unusual for teachers to help kids to make some sort of arts and craft gift for there parents...
When my kids were teens often times a coffee mug bought with money they had saved from allowances, gift-cards or summer jobs...
When my kids were college age one of the best gifts above and beyond posts on their social media was to Grill and make dinner and bake a cake... what a treat...
Alternatively, deep-cleaning the house, fixing something or replacing something around the house were also pleasant surprises as was those times when I just received a heart felt card...
Parents that have unconditional love for their kids who do not have a bank account or an income often do not have any expectation for extravagant gifts...
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
Age and culture are key factors in this discussion...
When kids are young - parents care for them
When parents are old - children care for them
Unconditional love from child to parent can be demonstrated in so many ways where cost of a gift is not as important as the thought/gesture...
While my kids were young - it was not unusual for teachers to help kids to make some sort of arts and craft gift for there parents...
When my kids were teens often times a coffee mug bought with money they had saved from allowances, gift-cards or summer jobs...
When my kids were college age one of the best gifts above and beyond posts on their social media was to Grill and make dinner and bake a cake... what a treat...
Alternatively, deep-cleaning the house, fixing something or replacing something around the house were also pleasant surprises as was those times when I just received a heart felt card...
Parents that have unconditional love for their kids who do not have a bank account or an income often do not have any expectation for extravagant gifts...
I was talking about the expensive gestures. But many children get no allowances...I think some retailers are living in a fantasy world here lol
not all parenfs have unconditional love for their children either. some mum and dads actually give their children hell. others give them not so subtle guilt trips....if you love me you should do this.....
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
every gift I have ever bought for my mum (not expensive) has ended up in the bin, even the cards so...not sure what mothers day expectations are. Even breakfast in bed...dont wake me too early!
last time I got takeaways as anything I might cook would be cause for complaint lol.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,716
113
I had no idea when I went to the hospital for my surgery pre-admission appointment that it was going to take four and a half hours. The appointment itself was for 10:15, and after going through a 50-page booklet that dealt with various aspects of the actual surgery with the first nurse I saw, who also took my vital stats, such as blood pressure, height, and weight, I then spoke to the anesthesiologist, was sent for an ECG, saw a special nurse who marked up my belly for surgery, and then was sent for blood work, where they took 9 vials of blood.

By this time I was quite hungry cuz I had not eaten yet that day, and so I made my way to the cafeteria, where delicious savory aromas were enticingly emanating. Sadly, since it was almost three o'clock, the pans had been scraped clean, and there was basically no food to be found. So, off to Capers/Wholefoods I went, where, forgetting that I only had one and a half days of eating left to my menu choices, I bought way too much food (exactly why we are cautioned not to shop on an empty stomach!), much of which I subsequently froze the day before surgery, at the suggestion of my daughter when I offered to donate the excess to her household. She has very thoughtfully, conscientiously, and generously been doing the majority of my grocery shopping since mid-March, which was when I was laid off work due to being high risk for Covid-19 on three points.

When I arrived home, as I was entering my building, I met the guy who rents the parking space beside mine, whom I easily recognize and chat with every once in a while as we pass each other by in the hallways and/or elevators. He was dragging a cat tree out, and also had half a large container of kitty litter, both of which he readily offered to give to me when I asked after the fate of the cat tree. I had actually been looking for a cat tree for quite some time, and though this one was certainly not in stellar condition, I was happy to receive it (and also the cat litter which I had been running low of), as the cat scratching post I currently had had been completely decimated in the last year by my cat, who had totally ignored it for the first 5 years of her life here.

After gratefully accepting what was offered me, he asked me if I needed a vacuum cleaner. How random is that? The funny thing is, the last time I had used my vacuum cleaner (which I have had for about 15 years) it had suddenly and unexpectedly lost suction, which rendered it useless to me, and left me in a bit of a pickle, since living with a cat who tracks kitty litter and drops fur balls all over the place makes a vacuum cleaner seem quite a bit of a necessity.

So up we both went to the floor where he lives, which is where he had left the vacuum cleaner in the hallway near the elevator. He plugged it in to show me how it worked, and the fact that it did work, and then brought all three items back down to my suite: the compact cat tree, the kitty litter, and the fully functioning Dyson vacuum cleaner to replace my non-functioning Filter Queen.

That night as I was laying in bed I was somewhat marveling at the synchronistic serendipitous sequence of events. I went over in my mind how powerfully and profoundly God had revealed Himself, His love, and His forgiveness to me over the course of my life, even long before my conversion. Often times as Christians we can go for seemingly long periods of time with no overwhelming conscious sense of God's presence in our lives, and I am quite saddened to see how much distress and concern this causes some people. To me, this "new" vacuum cleaner was a metaphor of sorts and a clear message from God. My old cleaning system (my digestive tract where the cancerous tumor was to be removed) had been rendered defunct and useless, and God provided, in my hour of need, a functioning and highly respectable replacement.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,668
113
I had no idea when I went to the hospital for my surgery pre-admission appointment that it was going to take four and a half hours. The appointment itself was for 10:15, and after going through a 50-page booklet that dealt with various aspects of the actual surgery with the first nurse I saw, who also took my vital stats, such as blood pressure, height, and weight, I then spoke to the anesthesiologist, was sent for an ECG, saw a special nurse who marked up my belly for surgery, and then was sent for blood work, where they took 9 vials of blood.

By this time I was quite hungry cuz I had not eaten yet that day, and so I made my way to the cafeteria, where delicious savory aromas were enticingly emanating. Sadly, since it was almost three o'clock, the pans had been scraped clean, and there was basically no food to be found. So, off to Capers/Wholefoods I went, where, forgetting that I only had one and a half days of eating left to my menu choices, I bought way too much food (exactly why we are cautioned not to shop on an empty stomach!), much of which I subsequently froze the day before surgery, at the suggestion of my daughter when I offered to donate the excess to her household. She has very thoughtfully, conscientiously, and generously been doing the majority of my grocery shopping since mid-March, which was when I was laid off work due to being high risk for Covid-19 on three points.

When I arrived home, as I was entering my building, I met the guy who rents the parking space beside mine, whom I easily recognize and chat with every once in a while as we pass each other by in the hallways and/or elevators. He was dragging a cat tree out, and also had half a large container of kitty litter, both of which he readily offered to give to me when I asked after the fate of the cat tree. I had actually been looking for a cat tree for quite some time, and though this one was certainly not in stellar condition, I was happy to receive it (and also the cat litter which I had been running low of), as the cat scratching post I currently had had been completely decimated in the last year by my cat, who had totally ignored it for the first 5 years of her life here.

After gratefully accepting what was offered me, he asked me if I needed a vacuum cleaner. How random is that? The funny thing is, the last time I had used my vacuum cleaner (which I have had for about 15 years) it had suddenly and unexpectedly lost suction, which rendered it useless to me, and left me in a bit of a pickle, since living with a cat who tracks kitty litter and drops fur balls all over the place makes a vacuum cleaner seem quite a bit of a necessity.

So up we both went to the floor where he lives, which is where he had left the vacuum cleaner in the hallway near the elevator. He plugged it in to show me how it worked, and the fact that it did work, and then brought all three items back down to my suite: the compact cat tree, the kitty litter, and the fully functioning Dyson vacuum cleaner to replace my non-functioning Filter Queen.

That night as I was laying in bed I was somewhat marveling at the synchronistic serendipitous sequence of events. I went over in my mind how powerfully and profoundly God had revealed Himself, His love, and His forgiveness to me over the course of my life, even long before my conversion. Often times as Christians we can go for seemingly long periods of time with no overwhelming conscious sense of God's presence in our lives, and I am quite saddened to see how much distress and concern this causes some people. To me, this "new" vacuum cleaner was a metaphor of sorts and a clear message from God. My old cleaning system (my digestive tract where the cancerous tumor was to be removed) had been rendered defunct and useless, and God provided, in my hour of need, a functioning and highly respectable replacement.
Magenta,
I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I will pray for you and I thank you for sharing. It also speaks to your character that you'd take the time to praise God and share this encouragement while you are in a time of crisis. God bless you sister.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,716
113
Magenta,
I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I will pray for you and I thank you for sharing. It also speaks to your character that you'd take the time to praise God and share this encouragement while you are in a time of crisis. God bless you sister.
Thank you, LaughingHeart :) You are such a sweet and thoughtful woman, always quick with a word of inspirational, uplifting encouragement and heartfelt warmth from your wealth of life experience to share with those in need. I don't know what else to say except, I appreciate you very much, and am smiling at you right now :):love::)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
Magenta,
I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I will pray for you and I thank you for sharing. It also speaks to your character that you'd take the time to praise God and share this encouragement while you are in a time of crisis. God bless you sister.
Please add my prayer to yours for the surgery to be effective and without complications.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
I had no idea when I went to the hospital for my surgery pre-admission appointment that it was going to take four and a half hours. The appointment itself was for 10:15, and after going through a 50-page booklet that dealt with various aspects of the actual surgery with the first nurse I saw, who also took my vital stats, such as blood pressure, height, and weight, I then spoke to the anesthesiologist, was sent for an ECG, saw a special nurse who marked up my belly for surgery, and then was sent for blood work, where they took 9 vials of blood.

By this time I was quite hungry cuz I had not eaten yet that day, and so I made my way to the cafeteria, where delicious savory aromas were enticingly emanating. Sadly, since it was almost three o'clock, the pans had been scraped clean, and there was basically no food to be found. So, off to Capers/Wholefoods I went, where, forgetting that I only had one and a half days of eating left to my menu choices, I bought way too much food (exactly why we are cautioned not to shop on an empty stomach!), much of which I subsequently froze the day before surgery, at the suggestion of my daughter when I offered to donate the excess to her household. She has very thoughtfully, conscientiously, and generously been doing the majority of my grocery shopping since mid-March, which was when I was laid off work due to being high risk for Covid-19 on three points.

When I arrived home, as I was entering my building, I met the guy who rents the parking space beside mine, whom I easily recognize and chat with every once in a while as we pass each other by in the hallways and/or elevators. He was dragging a cat tree out, and also had half a large container of kitty litter, both of which he readily offered to give to me when I asked after the fate of the cat tree. I had actually been looking for a cat tree for quite some time, and though this one was certainly not in stellar condition, I was happy to receive it (and also the cat litter which I had been running low of), as the cat scratching post I currently had had been completely decimated in the last year by my cat, who had totally ignored it for the first 5 years of her life here.

After gratefully accepting what was offered me, he asked me if I needed a vacuum cleaner. How random is that? The funny thing is, the last time I had used my vacuum cleaner (which I have had for about 15 years) it had suddenly and unexpectedly lost suction, which rendered it useless to me, and left me in a bit of a pickle, since living with a cat who tracks kitty litter and drops fur balls all over the place makes a vacuum cleaner seem quite a bit of a necessity.

So up we both went to the floor where he lives, which is where he had left the vacuum cleaner in the hallway near the elevator. He plugged it in to show me how it worked, and the fact that it did work, and then brought all three items back down to my suite: the compact cat tree, the kitty litter, and the fully functioning Dyson vacuum cleaner to replace my non-functioning Filter Queen.

That night as I was laying in bed I was somewhat marveling at the synchronistic serendipitous sequence of events. I went over in my mind how powerfully and profoundly God had revealed Himself, His love, and His forgiveness to me over the course of my life, even long before my conversion. Often times as Christians we can go for seemingly long periods of time with no overwhelming conscious sense of God's presence in our lives, and I am quite saddened to see how much distress and concern this causes some people. To me, this "new" vacuum cleaner was a metaphor of sorts and a clear message from God. My old cleaning system (my digestive tract where the cancerous tumor was to be removed) had been rendered defunct and useless, and God provided, in my hour of need, a functioning and highly respectable replacement.
I’m praying for you. The good Lord will get you through this ordeal. I’m sure He will.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
I had no idea when I went to the hospital for my surgery pre-admission appointment that it was going to take four and a half hours. The appointment itself was for 10:15, and after going through a 50-page booklet that dealt with various aspects of the actual surgery with the first nurse I saw, who also took my vital stats, such as blood pressure, height, and weight, I then spoke to the anesthesiologist, was sent for an ECG, saw a special nurse who marked up my belly for surgery, and then was sent for blood work, where they took 9 vials of blood.

By this time I was quite hungry cuz I had not eaten yet that day, and so I made my way to the cafeteria, where delicious savory aromas were enticingly emanating. Sadly, since it was almost three o'clock, the pans had been scraped clean, and there was basically no food to be found. So, off to Capers/Wholefoods I went, where, forgetting that I only had one and a half days of eating left to my menu choices, I bought way too much food (exactly why we are cautioned not to shop on an empty stomach!), much of which I subsequently froze the day before surgery, at the suggestion of my daughter when I offered to donate the excess to her household. She has very thoughtfully, conscientiously, and generously been doing the majority of my grocery shopping since mid-March, which was when I was laid off work due to being high risk for Covid-19 on three points.

When I arrived home, as I was entering my building, I met the guy who rents the parking space beside mine, whom I easily recognize and chat with every once in a while as we pass each other by in the hallways and/or elevators. He was dragging a cat tree out, and also had half a large container of kitty litter, both of which he readily offered to give to me when I asked after the fate of the cat tree. I had actually been looking for a cat tree for quite some time, and though this one was certainly not in stellar condition, I was happy to receive it (and also the cat litter which I had been running low of), as the cat scratching post I currently had had been completely decimated in the last year by my cat, who had totally ignored it for the first 5 years of her life here.

After gratefully accepting what was offered me, he asked me if I needed a vacuum cleaner. How random is that? The funny thing is, the last time I had used my vacuum cleaner (which I have had for about 15 years) it had suddenly and unexpectedly lost suction, which rendered it useless to me, and left me in a bit of a pickle, since living with a cat who tracks kitty litter and drops fur balls all over the place makes a vacuum cleaner seem quite a bit of a necessity.

So up we both went to the floor where he lives, which is where he had left the vacuum cleaner in the hallway near the elevator. He plugged it in to show me how it worked, and the fact that it did work, and then brought all three items back down to my suite: the compact cat tree, the kitty litter, and the fully functioning Dyson vacuum cleaner to replace my non-functioning Filter Queen.

That night as I was laying in bed I was somewhat marveling at the synchronistic serendipitous sequence of events. I went over in my mind how powerfully and profoundly God had revealed Himself, His love, and His forgiveness to me over the course of my life, even long before my conversion. Often times as Christians we can go for seemingly long periods of time with no overwhelming conscious sense of God's presence in our lives, and I am quite saddened to see how much distress and concern this causes some people. To me, this "new" vacuum cleaner was a metaphor of sorts and a clear message from God. My old cleaning system (my digestive tract where the cancerous tumor was to be removed) had been rendered defunct and useless, and God provided, in my hour of need, a functioning and highly respectable replacement.
Prayers for you and the surgery. When are you having it? Hugs sent your way too. Wishing a speedy recovery.