Name something you feel you missed out on in childhood or in life
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
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S
<looks around at all the Godly men that he chooses to let mentor his life without ever telling them>
No, I suppose it isn't the same... But knowing that God gives us the opportunity for healing if we will accept it sure can make it easier.
I try to mitigate the divorce as I find ways for my own kids. Having an Amazing Christian Family that steps in and moms on my kids is a blessing for them and me both. I don't know what God has planned for my life next, though the thought occurs to me more than it used to that maybe someday He may bless me with a marriage to a Godly Woman. Come what may: spouse, girlfriend, friend... a woman will have to be very special to meet my kids as I do not want to create additional abandonment issues.
I don't know what God has planned, but I am willing to accept the notion that God may bring into my life a woman so special that I would be willing to make my kids have to share me with her because it would mean being able to share her with them.
ugh... though I don't know where else I would post this, I still ask myself why must I derail?
No, I suppose it isn't the same... But knowing that God gives us the opportunity for healing if we will accept it sure can make it easier.
I try to mitigate the divorce as I find ways for my own kids. Having an Amazing Christian Family that steps in and moms on my kids is a blessing for them and me both. I don't know what God has planned for my life next, though the thought occurs to me more than it used to that maybe someday He may bless me with a marriage to a Godly Woman. Come what may: spouse, girlfriend, friend... a woman will have to be very special to meet my kids as I do not want to create additional abandonment issues.
I don't know what God has planned, but I am willing to accept the notion that God may bring into my life a woman so special that I would be willing to make my kids have to share me with her because it would mean being able to share her with them.
ugh... though I don't know where else I would post this, I still ask myself why must I derail?
I wish I knew what it was like to "look like" or "resemble" someone else due to DNA.
My youngest brother is the "miracle child" my parents were not supposed to be able to have... I grew up with relatives talking about whom he "took after" in height, mannerisms, and physical qualities.
Being Asian (adopted) in a white family, I used to look longingly at Asian women... wishing just once, someone would be able to tell me, "You look just like (or take after) your mother!" It sounds like a stupid, insignificant thing, but when you've never had it, it becomes a void in your heart.
I LOVE my parents but we are VERY opposite. My Mom and I have a few qualities we somewhat share but are opposite in almost every way, from color preferences to hobbies to mannerisms. Now, I know this can happen with biological relatives as well (not looking or acting alike in any way), but I do wish at times I had a biological relative. And, seeing as I don't believe I'll have kids, I never will have one.
But, I have a GREAT family and wouldn't trade them for the world.
It always makes me sad to read about people who are missing something fundamental in their lives, such as a parent's love... I pray that all of you will find not just a person, but entire families in which to belong.
(TORE, your story especially punched me right in the heart... the part when you said, "I never was." I feel like that too, as I have no "history" and traditional Asians see people like me as being "non-existent", "bad blood", and "sub-human"--which was the exact word my brother's future mother-in-law used to describe him. Just wanted to say I am so sorry and hope God sends other people in your life to make you feel wanted and validated. Thanks for enriching the threads and adding so much to the forum.)
My youngest brother is the "miracle child" my parents were not supposed to be able to have... I grew up with relatives talking about whom he "took after" in height, mannerisms, and physical qualities.
Being Asian (adopted) in a white family, I used to look longingly at Asian women... wishing just once, someone would be able to tell me, "You look just like (or take after) your mother!" It sounds like a stupid, insignificant thing, but when you've never had it, it becomes a void in your heart.
I LOVE my parents but we are VERY opposite. My Mom and I have a few qualities we somewhat share but are opposite in almost every way, from color preferences to hobbies to mannerisms. Now, I know this can happen with biological relatives as well (not looking or acting alike in any way), but I do wish at times I had a biological relative. And, seeing as I don't believe I'll have kids, I never will have one.
But, I have a GREAT family and wouldn't trade them for the world.
It always makes me sad to read about people who are missing something fundamental in their lives, such as a parent's love... I pray that all of you will find not just a person, but entire families in which to belong.
(TORE, your story especially punched me right in the heart... the part when you said, "I never was." I feel like that too, as I have no "history" and traditional Asians see people like me as being "non-existent", "bad blood", and "sub-human"--which was the exact word my brother's future mother-in-law used to describe him. Just wanted to say I am so sorry and hope God sends other people in your life to make you feel wanted and validated. Thanks for enriching the threads and adding so much to the forum.)
I
awww that's sweet of you to say Soul & thank you. My Mom was adopted & so was my ex-wife,so I have been around women that have had to deal with some of the same things you have felt,as I've listened to them in the past talk about how they felt dealing with some of that confusion,longing & pain that goes with being adopted sometimes. I know enough about the Asian culture to know exactly what you mean. Even though I was passed over by my Dad & his family after his death,I realized that I shouldn't take in "personal",because just because you share the same DNA with someone,it doesn't mean a hill of beans if that DNA isn't nurtured,loved & respected. God has blessed me over the years with many people who have treated me more like a son that my blood Father ever could have I think. Our hearts may be in pieces,but as we give each fragment of pain,loss,hopelessness,disappointment & fear to him...he is faithful to heal & repair each part,until our hearts are made whole again.God heals the brokenhearted no doubt,we just have to make the choice to trust him & let him do it.
Jim, you made me log in just to quote you and say how right you are 
. I wanted to say something similar to this at first and add that Jesus will wipe every tear away one day, but I didn't want to make it seem like I was saying "Oh, you'll be fine. Just pray more; you'll get over it". You have, however, said what I wanted to without seeming at all like you didn't care, maybe partly because you've been through it as well. You made me tear up again :'). I suppose that each of us has some things that we wish we'd had as youngsters (and oldsters, er, middleagesters, as well), but Jesus can make it all up in the next life and give us purpose and contentment serving Him in this life. That's not a quote from me; I'm loosely quoting two people: the first part (about the next life) is Richard Wurmbrand (who spent about 14 years in a Romanian prison where he was severely tortured) and the second bit (about this life) is from Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms or legs, yet is by FAR my favorite professional motivational speaker.
. I wanted to say something similar to this at first and add that Jesus will wipe every tear away one day, but I didn't want to make it seem like I was saying "Oh, you'll be fine. Just pray more; you'll get over it". You have, however, said what I wanted to without seeming at all like you didn't care, maybe partly because you've been through it as well. You made me tear up again :'). I suppose that each of us has some things that we wish we'd had as youngsters (and oldsters, er, middleagesters, as well), but Jesus can make it all up in the next life and give us purpose and contentment serving Him in this life. That's not a quote from me; I'm loosely quoting two people: the first part (about the next life) is Richard Wurmbrand (who spent about 14 years in a Romanian prison where he was severely tortured) and the second bit (about this life) is from Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms or legs, yet is by FAR my favorite professional motivational speaker.
I
I'm sorry to make you log in again...logging in is such a pain in the buns at times. I have heard Nick Vujicic before..ummm yeah....freakin' WOW! That's why I really hate to be someone who complains about my "situations" in life of things that have "happened" to me...when I hear someone like his testimony & life story...it's so humbling. I feel like "Jesus,can you ever forgive me for being so selfish as to wallow in my misery?" of course he always does...'cause he's awesome like that.
I have heard Nick Vujicic before..ummm yeah....freakin' WOW! That's why I really hate to be someone who complains about my "situations" in life of things that have "happened" to me...when I hear someone like his testimony & life story...it's so humbling. I feel like "Jesus,can you ever forgive me for being so selfish as to wallow in my misery?" of course he always does...'cause he's awesome like that.
J
my parents divorced when i was only 9 mo. old. both of my older siblings remembered our dad and would talk about him when our mother wasn't around. i felt incredibly left out of something terribly important esp sine most families in the 50's and early 60's were still intact. when i was older he came around for visits and i wasn't able to bond with him. i wanted to be as close to him as my older siblings were but i always felt strange around him because i didn't know him and didn't have the necessary skills and confidence to develop the relationship. since my father didn't either our relationship remained strained and awkward. i know that i loved him and that he loved me but it took me a long time to understand a great many things in life as a result. the surprising thing is the profound impact he had on my life in spite of our limited amount of contact. sometimes i didn't see him for many years at a time and he was never involved in my children's lives. what i learned in the long term was how grateful i was to have him in my life even under those limited and stained circumstances i couldn't have said that when i was young. i hope if there are any absentee father's reading this you will take my story to heart and not become discouraged in limited or strained contact with your children. every moment counts. it means more to your children than they may ever be able to tell you so please' hang in there and pray. reading these threads should show you how very much you are missed
Wow. And i thought i won't read something like this here XD
We're the same. I've always wondered what it's like to have that perfect family picture, where everyone was smiling genuinely. Never experienced attending a Family Day, either.
My parents are separated. Dad was a womanizer. Plus, horribly, military strict. We lived in fear and felt so inadequate as we tried to live by his standards of what was good. And we were never good enough for him. If they didn't separate, i most certainly would have rebelled and self-destructed. I only have one fond memory of him...the only thing that made me feel and believe that he loved me truly. When he gifted me a music box that played "You light up my life", and he embraced me. He's got his own family now. I don't hate him or anything. But i've wondered what it's like to have a dad growing up.
My mom, well, she's got so many dreams for us. She decided to take the huge sacrifice of working overseas to earn bigger, and make all those dreams she had for us to come true. Yes, she has done just that. My bro's a lawyer. I'm a doctor. She couldn't be prouder. But the price was this: i grew up not needing her. Emotionally. I took all my problems, worked on them by myself (and eventually, GOD came in, thankfully). She says she wants me to be open to her about everything, but she couldn't handle anything i told her. She just got disappointed and angry...she was expecting me to know better, always. So i stopped needing her for emotional support and advice. When she was home, we were cool. She's like a best bud, we talk for hours. But showing affection...holding, embracing...it was very awkward and uncomfortable. I have only one fond memory of us chasing each other around the house, like kids...tickling each other and laughing. I believe she cherishes that too. I am working on this now. Praying for it.
My lifestory has so much sadness in it, specially my childhood. But for some reason, i don't feel depressed about it. GOD has made me grow to appreciate the little things because i'm always alone. I've learned to love how the sun shines, or the coolness of the breeze, the light of the moon and stars...made my imagination alive. More so now that i see even more through HIS Word and even in my parents' absence, there was much love from relatives who watched over us through the years. Such bonds we have with them can never be broken. All in all, as messed up as my childhood was, i'm glad for it all GOD is an awesome Author. My life is so colorful and amazing because of HIM!
Oh, i did miss out on some other stuff in my childhood.
1) Bathing in a fountain (of a mall, or park, or any public place)
2) Pulling the fire alarm in school
3) Water balloon fighting, or water bombing
But who says i can't catch up, right? XD
*thinks the above might be cool ideas to try on a date*
We're the same. I've always wondered what it's like to have that perfect family picture, where everyone was smiling genuinely. Never experienced attending a Family Day, either.
My parents are separated. Dad was a womanizer. Plus, horribly, military strict. We lived in fear and felt so inadequate as we tried to live by his standards of what was good. And we were never good enough for him. If they didn't separate, i most certainly would have rebelled and self-destructed. I only have one fond memory of him...the only thing that made me feel and believe that he loved me truly. When he gifted me a music box that played "You light up my life", and he embraced me. He's got his own family now. I don't hate him or anything. But i've wondered what it's like to have a dad growing up.
My mom, well, she's got so many dreams for us. She decided to take the huge sacrifice of working overseas to earn bigger, and make all those dreams she had for us to come true. Yes, she has done just that. My bro's a lawyer. I'm a doctor. She couldn't be prouder. But the price was this: i grew up not needing her. Emotionally. I took all my problems, worked on them by myself (and eventually, GOD came in, thankfully). She says she wants me to be open to her about everything, but she couldn't handle anything i told her. She just got disappointed and angry...she was expecting me to know better, always. So i stopped needing her for emotional support and advice. When she was home, we were cool. She's like a best bud, we talk for hours. But showing affection...holding, embracing...it was very awkward and uncomfortable. I have only one fond memory of us chasing each other around the house, like kids...tickling each other and laughing. I believe she cherishes that too. I am working on this now. Praying for it.
My lifestory has so much sadness in it, specially my childhood. But for some reason, i don't feel depressed about it. GOD has made me grow to appreciate the little things because i'm always alone. I've learned to love how the sun shines, or the coolness of the breeze, the light of the moon and stars...made my imagination alive. More so now that i see even more through HIS Word
and even in my parents' absence, there was much love from relatives who watched over us through the years. Such bonds we have with them can never be broken. All in all, as messed up as my childhood was, i'm glad for it all GOD is an awesome Author. My life is so colorful and amazing because of HIM!Oh, i did miss out on some other stuff in my childhood.
1) Bathing in a fountain (of a mall, or park, or any public place)
2) Pulling the fire alarm in school
3) Water balloon fighting, or water bombing
But who says i can't catch up, right? XD
*thinks the above might be cool ideas to try on a date*
I missed out on having lots of things other children had. I'm going to put it in list format so I don't get too emotional about it.
1) A father. My parents divorced and my first memory is of him leaving.
2) Having siblings.
3) Having a grandmother and an aunt that loved me. It was made very clear to me my cousins were loved and I was not.
4) I had to basically raise myself starting around the age of 8 because my mother just wasn't emotionally available.
5) Having a good church family.
6) From about the time I was 12 I had to worry about whether or not I was going to come home and find my mother dead because she had finally succeeded in killing herself.
And other things. But I'm going to stop there. God has done quite a bit of healing in my life, and I'm certainly not the person I was. However, I had a very rough childhood.
1) A father. My parents divorced and my first memory is of him leaving.
2) Having siblings.
3) Having a grandmother and an aunt that loved me. It was made very clear to me my cousins were loved and I was not.
4) I had to basically raise myself starting around the age of 8 because my mother just wasn't emotionally available.
5) Having a good church family.
6) From about the time I was 12 I had to worry about whether or not I was going to come home and find my mother dead because she had finally succeeded in killing herself.
And other things. But I'm going to stop there. God has done quite a bit of healing in my life, and I'm certainly not the person I was. However, I had a very rough childhood.
...had a number of girlfriends; was engaged - but never had the 'happy family' thing going for some reason; something I always wanted with the 'right person'. I feel sorry for my mother. She accumulated all these baby clothes for such an occasion, and it never happened - and someone I got very close to with a view to marriage just recently didn't work out for the most superficial of reasons...
...I guess one just has to 'live and love' as life brings them - and make the most of it to the deepest and honourable extent one can...
...I guess one just has to 'live and love' as life brings them - and make the most of it to the deepest and honourable extent one can...
S
*nudge nudge*
Pssst. Pssssssssssssssssssssssst!
I'm not saying this to be mean or derogatory. Quite the opposite.
Your childhood isn't over yet, kiddo. Far from it. You've got plenty of time to not-miss-out on the things you think you've missed out. Some of my best childhood experiences happened in college! Now get out there and get crackin'!
On my end...you know, as hard as I try to think, all I can come up with is how blessed I was as a child. There were times in college where I felt short-changed in some respects, but that's that youthful resentment that some of you have already mentioned. There may be things that I theoretically missed out on, but I can't remember them...because I remember how good God was to me. Especially knowing how rough and painful others here had it as they grew up, all I can remember is the blessings.
I'm sure that's what it'll be like in Heaven, of course. I wish everyone here could feel that way now. :/
Pssst. Pssssssssssssssssssssssst!
I'm not saying this to be mean or derogatory. Quite the opposite.
Your childhood isn't over yet, kiddo. Far from it. You've got plenty of time to not-miss-out on the things you think you've missed out. Some of my best childhood experiences happened in college! Now get out there and get crackin'!
On my end...you know, as hard as I try to think, all I can come up with is how blessed I was as a child. There were times in college where I felt short-changed in some respects, but that's that youthful resentment that some of you have already mentioned. There may be things that I theoretically missed out on, but I can't remember them...because I remember how good God was to me. Especially knowing how rough and painful others here had it as they grew up, all I can remember is the blessings.
I'm sure that's what it'll be like in Heaven, of course. I wish everyone here could feel that way now. :/
