Pet Peeves with other Christians, including myself

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JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
13,245
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64
#41
Church should be a hospital for sinners not a country club for saints.... We Christians are the only ones who shoot our wounded.
 

Homewardbound

Active member
Dec 10, 2018
270
243
43
#42
Oh don't you know it, I, not too long ago, was stewing and lamenting, obsessively, over unkind words and opinions. I began seeking out scriptures on how we are suppose to love one another. I literally put in mercy and loving-kindness in the search in my bible and in google. Actually, I kept changing the words hoping to find just the right scripture to heal my wound, by confirming how wrong they were. Hahaha, boy did He give me the what for. My healing needed to be outside of them, regardless if they are right or wrong. I didn't know what I had done so i went down a hole trying to understand, trying to fix me and the situation. Again He said, can you just love and forgive them and let me deal with them? Exodus 14:14.. I feel He wanted me to know... I love them too, my Child. Difficult people are a blessing because they grow our capacity to love and forgive, regardless how we are treated. He also reminded me that hateful or mean feedback isn't always true or justified just because it was expressed by a Christian. He keeps saying, in the wilderness, come to my feet, it isn't about you or them, you all belong to me.

On that note, I respect that you didn't just accept the hateful words as truth, that their takes and reactions are accurate. I think that is a part of discernment. If we jumped to every rebuke thinking we need to take to heart and grow in the way others see fit, rather than the way Christ does, sheeeesh, we would be chopped up into pieces. I know because I have put myself on the chopping block rather than on the alter as a living sacrifice. I mean sometimes people don't want you to grow, they just don't like us and want us to go away for reasons we may never know. Oh well, no worries. Just walk away, loving and forgiving them from a far.

Now with all that said, to know you are being treated with hateful unkindness makes me want to give the someone or someones the what for. He tells us to turn the other cheek but He also tells us to take precious care of our family. I understand it hurts, sometimes way down to the core. I am glad you shared that, it helps to know others understand and also so I can pray with you, Sis. ♡
Wow, does this hit a nerve.

My only pet peeve with Christians is when they tell the truth to you and it isn't "in love" that this happens, but it is to totally destroy the person they are talking to.

I had this done recently. After admonishing (putting me down) me for 10 minutes or so, and after I felt like a pile of dung he said "I am just telling you this in love". It sure didn't come across that way, and it wasn't said that way.

Thanks for letting me vent...it still hurts!
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,493
1,403
113
Germany
#43
Growth is such a struggle with most of us, for sure. I mean like the other day when you were addressing homelessness, that expressed the kind of selflessness that to me shines His Glory. I think His glory requires dying to self, and dying to self requires action and thought. I suppose when we are growing, truly growing, our identity is in Him, not in others or ourselves. Plus, I think when we are truly humble, (which I use to say I was, haha, the opposite of being humble), we don't spend so much time focusing on where we belong with people or how they and them are wrong or even striving to grow. He loves us and makes it very clear what He wants from us, our undying love, trust and surrender. In doing that, we will truly grow.

Your response made me think of this quote that was just brought to my attention, that I am still learning viscerally, thanks be to Him. View attachment 193753
very true. im having quite a hard time with some people and the attacks by the enemy are just ruthless. the more u follow God, teh worse even the pressure in the mids of the people of God gets. The weak are easily used by the enemy, and they will be used with good intentions in their mind. then now im in a situation with 2 choices
- giving in and being torn apart in all emotional ways possible while letting people try to ''help" me by rippig scars open God healed and letting battles wake back up that God won..... being a piece of meat in a lions den.... all because people are too weak in God and faith so they dont understand that God healed me of my past pain even when I struggle sometimes.

- rebuking attempts from the people and tell the devil to put his attempt where the sun doesnt shine and risking more wildfire in the congregation as they then think I would have false pride and that would stop me from getting ''their help" as they dont see what theyre doing or causing.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#44
Wow, does this hit a nerve.

My only pet peeve with Christians is when they tell the truth to you and it isn't "in love" that this happens, but it is to totally destroy the person they are talking to.

I had this done recently. After admonishing (putting me down) me for 10 minutes or so, and after I felt like a pile of dung he said "I am just telling you this in love". It sure didn't come across that way, and it wasn't said that way.

Thanks for letting me vent...it still hurts!
The one needing correction are the ones correcting in that manner. I am so sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of character assasination. Love admonishes in a way that may not feel good hearing but is more apt to be received because it was given with humility, mindfulness, and genuine care. I believe a part of admonishing should include chking oneself, motives and delivery. I think pausing and praying are always important prior to giving others the what for, lol. I think God allows, maybe even gives, difficult people with hurtful ways to show us where we are exalting others and ourselves,where only He should be. Also, even though It hurts, to the core, it does teach us to love and forgive, unconditionally, because it requires dying to self. I have found this is where He and His agape love comes in. We need Him to strengthen and guard our softened hearts, ones that have the capacity to Love in Him, not of ourselves. I say capacity because, me and my love have not yet arrived, not by a long shot. Praise be to Him, the Only one who is sufficient and able, resides within.

Now enough soap boxy banter from me, lol, that is another pet peeve that I myself am so guilty of. Ugh, get's on my own nerves, lol.

Homewardbound, you are a beautiful child of God. I hope you know that you have been a blessing to me and others here. I imagine that statement is true offline as well. I am sad that anyone would hurt you in this way. Thank you for sharing. Transparency and authenticity are such beautiful attributes...♡ hugs.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
3,714
2,771
113
65
lawton ok
#46
I did not know that about astrology.
I think Solomon knew the earth was round when he wrote Ecclesiastes when he remarked about the weather patterns. The Sumerians knew for sure and the Greeks figured it out. My point is pseudo facts and figures are often wrong and Science de jur is often proven bunk after many years of false teachings. As Christians the gift of discernment is more valuable than piles of text books that often contradict each other so I only use the Bible as a bible study text. With comprehension, discernment and prayer I separate the wheat from the chaff.

The Lord is bigger than any mistakes I make especially when due to honest misunderstandings.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#47
very true. im having quite a hard time with some people and the attacks by the enemy are just ruthless. the more u follow God, teh worse even the pressure in the mids of the people of God gets. The weak are easily used by the enemy, and they will be used with good intentions in their mind. then now im in a situation with 2 choices
- giving in and being torn apart in all emotional ways possible while letting people try to ''help" me by rippig scars open God healed and letting battles wake back up that God won..... being a piece of meat in a lions den.... all because people are too weak in God and faith so they dont understand that God healed me of my past pain even when I struggle sometimes.

- rebuking attempts from the people and tell the devil to put his attempt where the sun doesnt shine and risking more wildfire in the congregation as they then think I would have false pride and that would stop me from getting ''their help" as they dont see what theyre doing or causing.
This brought tears to my eyes because it hit home...

- giving in and being torn apart in all emotional ways possible while letting people try to ''help" me by rippig scars open God healed and letting battles wake back up that God won..... being a piece of meat in a lions den.... all because people are too weak in God and faith so they dont understand that God healed me of my past pain even when I struggle sometimes.


Soooo true empathy, kindness, humility, compassion are strengths not weaknesses, and the only way we can get those attributes to a sincere, strong, and useful place, in my opinion, is through dying to self, so that He and His kind of truth and love can reside.

I for one, am sick and tired of living in my wounds rather than His victory. I am so grateful for His strength and His authority over all His creation. He has me grinning inside as I reflect on His tender-mercies and formidable strength.

My new fav verse that I am still far from walking in but know now the way I should walk is this

For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, "In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength." But you were not willing...Isaiah 30:15


Lord forgive me, Your will be done!!!
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,493
1,403
113
Germany
#49
This brought tears to my eyes because it hit home...

- giving in and being torn apart in all emotional ways possible while letting people try to ''help" me by rippig scars open God healed and letting battles wake back up that God won..... being a piece of meat in a lions den.... all because people are too weak in God and faith so they dont understand that God healed me of my past pain even when I struggle sometimes.


Soooo true empathy, kindness, humility, compassion are strengths not weaknesses, and the only way we can get those attributes to a sincere, strong, and useful place, in my opinion, is through dying to self, so that He and His kind of truth and love can reside.

I for one, am sick and tired of living in my wounds rather than His victory. I am so grateful for His strength and His authority over all His creation. He has me grinning inside as I reflect on His tender-mercies and formidable strength.

My new fav verse that I am still far from walking in but know now the way I should walk is this

For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, "In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength." But you were not willing...Isaiah 30:15


Lord forgive me, Your will be done!!!
huuuuugs
to be honest, I am just praying for God to guide me. Im torn between many options but may only his happen. even if i might need to eat a lot of chocolate to control myself without exploding in being so upset.
Nothing is too small or big for God. That I learned. Even if ppl u love hate u, he always loves u
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#50
I think Solomon knew the earth was round when he wrote Ecclesiastes when he remarked about the weather patterns. The Sumerians knew for sure and the Greeks figured it out. My point is pseudo facts and figures are often wrong and Science de jur is often proven bunk after many years of false teachings. As Christians the gift of discernment is more valuable than piles of text books that often contradict each other so I only use the Bible as a bible study text. With comprehension, discernment and prayer I separate the wheat from the chaff.

The Lord is bigger than any mistakes I make especially when due to honest misunderstandings.
Oh for sure...You know to me astrology and all other discoveries are merely mankind stumbling onto God's creation. I agree with this...

As Christians the gift of discernment is more valuable than piles of text books that often contradict each other so I only use the Bible as a bible study text. With comprehension, discernment and prayer I separate the wheat from the chaff.

The Lord is bigger than any mistakes I make especially when due to honest misunderstandings.

I do think reading other books can help us,though; we just need to make sure it lines up with the word/will of His. I think learning, reading and writing are such priceless gifts of His, as long as we don't lean on our, our own or others, understanding.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#51
huuuuugs
to be honest, I am just praying for God to guide me. Im torn between many options but may only his happen. even if i might need to eat a lot of chocolate to control myself without exploding in being so upset.
Nothing is too small or big for God. That I learned. Even if ppl u love hate u, he always loves u
Oh Chocolate, yes yes yes, and a big bowl of ice cream and on the side a big huge serving of laughter. Lifting you in prayer.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
3,714
2,771
113
65
lawton ok
#52
Name calling is a juvenile response. And sometimes I wonder why adults behave like kindergarteners and think they are defending when they are just showing immaturity and lack of reason.
 

Homewardbound

Active member
Dec 10, 2018
270
243
43
#53
The one needing correction are the ones correcting in that manner. I am so sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of character assasination. Love admonishes in a way that may not feel good hearing but is more apt to be received because it was given with humility, mindfulness, and genuine care. I believe a part of admonishing should include chking oneself, motives and delivery. I think pausing and praying are always important prior to giving others the what for, lol. I think God allows, maybe even gives, difficult people with hurtful ways to show us where we are exalting others and ourselves,where only He should be. Also, even though It hurts, to the core, it does teach us to love and forgive, unconditionally, because it requires dying to self. I have found this is where He and His agape love comes in. We need Him to strengthen and guard our softened hearts, ones that have the capacity to Love in Him, not of ourselves. I say capacity because, me and my love have not yet arrived, not by a long shot. Praise be to Him, the Only one who is sufficient and able, resides within.

Now enough soap boxy banter from me, lol, that is another pet peeve that I myself am so guilty of. Ugh, get's on my own nerves, lol.

Homewardbound, you are a beautiful child of God. I hope you know that you have been a blessing to me and others here. I imagine that statement is true offline as well. I am sad that anyone would hurt you in this way. Thank you for sharing. Transparency and authenticity are such beautiful attributes...♡ hugs.
Thanks CharlieRenee, that means a lot to me.
I will be bringing up this topic at the next men's ministry meeting at church. I am afraid I may not be the only person hurt in that way.

It is a pleasure corresponding with ya!
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
3,714
2,771
113
65
lawton ok
#54
I do think reading other books can help us,though; we just need to make sure it lines up with the word/will of His. I think learning, reading and writing are such priceless gifts of His, as long as we don't lean on our, our own or others, understanding.[/QUOTE]
Yes. Other books can be very useful but not to be assumed absolutely correct over the one and only text provided for us by The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
5,962
2,030
113
#55
Oh don't you know it, I, not too long ago, was stewing and lamenting, obsessively, over unkind words and opinions. I began seeking out scriptures on how we are suppose to love one another. I literally put in mercy and loving-kindness in the search in my bible and in google. Actually, I kept changing the words hoping to find just the right scripture to heal my wound, by confirming how wrong they were. Hahaha, boy did He give me the what for. My healing needed to be outside of them, regardless if they are right or wrong. I didn't know what I had done so i went down a hole trying to understand, trying to fix me and the situation. Again He said, can you just love and forgive them and let me deal with them? Exodus 14:14.. I feel He wanted me to know... I love them too, my Child. Difficult people are a blessing because they grow our capacity to love and forgive, regardless how we are treated. He also reminded me that hateful or mean feedback isn't always true or justified just because it was expressed by a Christian. He keeps saying, in the wilderness, come to my feet, it isn't about you or them, you all belong to me.

On that note, I respect that you didn't just accept the hateful words as truth, that their takes and reactions are accurate. I think that is a part of discernment. If we jumped to every rebuke thinking we need to take to heart and grow in the way others see fit, rather than the way Christ does, sheeeesh, we would be chopped up into pieces. I know because I have put myself on the chopping block rather than on the alter as a living sacrifice. I mean sometimes people don't want you to grow, they just don't like us and want us to go away for reasons we may never know. Oh well, no worries. Just walk away, loving and forgiving them from a far.

Now with all that said, to know you are being treated with hateful unkindness makes me want to give the someone or someones the what for. He tells us to turn the other cheek but He also tells us to take precious care of our family. I understand it hurts, sometimes way down to the core. I am glad you shared that, it helps to know others understand and also so I can pray with you, Sis. ♡

well the friendly hearts don't cut it right now. I am really appreciating your response

My healing needed to be outside of them, regardless if they are right or wrong.
so so so true and great insight! this is what I am wrestling with....I am not the hateful words and really, a person doing that exposes who they are. but when it is someone who is supposed to love you, well, you drag your heart around and have a hard time with it

I have a weakness there and I guess I will just keep going through until I really do understand. it's not even forgiveness but just the callous way a person can be to someone. I'm probably talking to much. I don't really like to spill the beans in the forum haha

sometimes people don't want you to grow, they just don't like us and want us to go away for reasons we may never know.
hello! give the lady a ribbon. she knows and only one way you could know ;)

hugs .. I'll be ok. I have good bounce abilities :)
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
5,962
2,030
113
#56
Growth is such a struggle with most of us, for sure. I mean like the other day when you were addressing homelessness, that expressed the kind of selflessness that to me shines His Glory. I think His glory requires dying to self, and dying to self requires action and thought. I suppose when we are growing, truly growing, our identity is in Him, not in others or ourselves. Plus, I think when we are truly humble, (which I use to say I was, haha, the opposite of being humble), we don't spend so much time focusing on where we belong with people or how they and them are wrong or even striving to grow. He loves us and makes it very clear what He wants from us, our undying love, trust and surrender. In doing that, we will truly grow.

Your response made me think of this quote that was just brought to my attention, that I am still learning viscerally, thanks be to Him. View attachment 193753

oh so that's who said it

was said to me long ago by someone else and I didn't know

well it's so true
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
3,714
2,771
113
65
lawton ok
#57
@Magenta and I were chatting about Galatians 3 last night and agreed to share this with everyone.
Galatians 3:23-29 New International Version (NIV)
Children of God
23 Before the coming of this faith,[a] we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. 24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.


26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Held in custody to me means, 'kept like children' and much of the rest seems to mean adopted by Christ, as equals among our selves and we will be entitled to the same inheritance as the descendants of Abraham.


Colossians 3:12-14 New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

That's how Christians are supposed to act!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#59
well the friendly hearts don't cut it right now. I am really appreciating your response



so so so true and great insight! this is what I am wrestling with....I am not the hateful words and really, a person doing that exposes who they are. but when it is someone who is supposed to love you, well, you drag your heart around and have a hard time with it

I have a weakness there and I guess I will just keep going through until I really do understand. it's not even forgiveness but just the callous way a person can be to someone. I'm probably talking to much. I don't really like to spill the beans in the forum haha



hello! give the lady a ribbon. she knows and only one way you could know ;)

hugs .. I'll be ok. I have good bounce abilities :)
I am being a pest with you but I wanted to say that I really appreciate your sharing with me, it means a great deal to me. I really appreciate it. I wish these helped ♡.

I do know, Sis, because I have the ability to grind on others nerves, lol. I have been harshly and callously dealt with by Christian Brothers and Sisters who just didn't like me, for whatever reason. I mulled and pondered and waded, barrrroooo and whaaaaa in the trying to make it not hurt and to understand. It hurts, especially, as you said, your heart is invested in someone.
Sis, me to you, I 100% get it! It is nice to have safe places to go, where one knows it isn't defining, it is just working something through. True Strength is found in vulnerability. No that is not right, hmmm.... True strength is found in Him. Vulnerability helps though, Hahaha.

Again though, like you said, we will be ok, better not bitter, loving Him and others more, no matter what, because He will get us there, establishing and perfecting us.

Seriously, thanks for the time and your sharing and insight.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,606
2,892
113
#60
@Magenta and I were chatting about Galatians 3 last night and agreed to share this with everyone.
Galatians 3:23-29 New International Version (NIV)
Children of God
23 Before the coming of this faith,[a] we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. 24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.


26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Held in custody to me means, 'kept like children' and much of the rest seems to mean adopted by Christ, as equals among our selves and we will be entitled to the same inheritance as the descendants of Abraham.


Colossians 3:12-14 New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

That's how Christians are supposed to act!
First, I am trying NOT to be envious that you get to visit with Magenta, :).

I appreciate those verses, Colossians 3 covers so much in that one chapter, soooo MUCH!!! I like how galations really brings a lot of harmony to all the scriptures.