Public Apology to Lynx

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joefizz

Guest
And zeroturbulence, you have no idea. No idea at all. You should work with me at my job for one day. When things get hectic I don't have the processor power to keep up with the job AND run a personality simulation, so my whole personality goes offline until things calm down a bit.
Oh believe me I know the feeling,try being epileptic and having a bunch of loud sounds around like thudding papers and Loud voices louder than the machines sometimes(one woman would actually hurt me with her loud voice on purpose,when I would try to ignore her,thankfully that situation got resolved with her leaving the job) and to top things off I have had years of built up resentment,and at times people still try to provoke me to anger,at the moment though I don't feel any point in anger and just waiting for my second shift.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
Looks can only be a part of it. I like the way Bourdieu talks about habitus. It is a bit Thomas Hardy... with a deterministic approach. But it basically says you get a set of values and cultural capital that links you to the class you are born into. The capital may inflate or deflate
It's an economy, just like trading money and goods, there are trades made in this sexual economy. Such as one can trade their good looks to a less handsome person, in exchange for wealth. Also some people do reasoning, like a good fisherman, who brings a good harvest, may be more desirable than someone who is wealthy right now. People make trades. When I married, my then wife was far more physically attractive than me, but I had already begun a career with a steady income.
It’s more complicated than that. I will tell you what happened with my grandmother. Her boyfriend cheated on her because my grandmother was a good girl and didn’t “put out”. So, when she found out, she broke up with her boyfriend and threw the jewelry at his face.

Shortly after, my grandfather was asked to go up the country to date my grandmother’s sister. But, her sister had a steady boyfriend. My grandfather was going to just write off the country trip as a loss, when he saw my grandmother. He decided he was going to marry her, right then.

Why did my grandmother marry my grandfather? Well, he did not pressure her to put out, and he was faithful and good looking. Beside the fact that she was in love with him and he was in love with her.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
11,206
5,616
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I find the discussion around attraction, appearance, and other attributes somewhat amusing. It's one thing to feel frustrated and passed over by people; that is understandable. It's quite another to complain that "they" don't appreciate what you do have to offer.

Why would you (anyone) want to date someone who is not attracted to you, regardless of the reasons why they aren't attracted? The harsh reality is that although there are attributes which a majority of either gender finds attractive in the other, you aren't going to be dating a majority, but only one (at a time, hopefully). What is important is that person finds you attractive. What the rest of their gender finds attractive is really quite irrelevant.

Nobody can dictate what another person finds attractive. With the exception of parents teaching their children general principles, nobody should try. You like what you like. That will change slowly over time, and you can consciously choose not to follow up on certain preferences, but basically, you are either attracted... or not. It's the same for others in their perception of you. If you like a person who doesn't like you back, move on, and don't hold them in contempt for it. After all, there are many people whom you don't find attractive either.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,961
2,753
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Ah but contempt is so easy. Sour grapes you know. Contempt makes it much easier to rationalize rejection.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
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It’s more complicated than that. I will tell you what happened with my grandmother. Her boyfriend cheated on her because my grandmother was a good girl and didn’t “put out”. So, when she found out, she broke up with her boyfriend and threw the jewelry at his face.

Shortly after, my grandfather was asked to go up the country to date my grandmother’s sister. But, her sister had a steady boyfriend. My grandfather was going to just write off the country trip as a loss, when he saw my grandmother. He decided he was going to marry her, right then.

Why did my grandmother marry my grandfather? Well, he did not pressure her to put out, and he was faithful and good looking. Beside the fact that she was in love with him and he was in love with her.
Your beautiful grandmother traded her good looks for your grandfather's ethics.
The economy at it's best.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
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I like shaking the tree, and seeing what falls out. For that, I do not apologize.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
Your beautiful grandmother traded her good looks for your grandfather's ethics.
The economy at it's best.
I think she loved him because he loved her. On one of their first dates, he bought her a little baby doll and sang my grandmother a song. He had determined to marry her the first time he saw her. My mother has that doll, now.

My grandfather used to sing it to us when we were little “Now, don’t you tell her, I got a feller, or she won’t buy me no rubber dollleee.”

I feel like I have to post a picture of my grandmother to prove she was a beauty.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
113
I think she loved him because he loved her. On one of their first dates, he bought her a little baby doll and sang my grandmother a song. He had determined to marry her the first time he saw her. My mother has that doll, now.

My grandfather used to sing it to us when we were little “Now, don’t you tell her, I got a feller, or she won’t buy me no rubber dollleee.”

I feel like I have to post a picture of my grandmother to prove she was a beauty.
I believe you, but please share.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
113
I think she loved him because he loved her. On one of their first dates, he bought her a little baby doll and sang my grandmother a song. He had determined to marry her the first time he saw her. My mother has that doll, now.

My grandfather used to sing it to us when we were little “Now, don’t you tell her, I got a feller, or she won’t buy me no rubber dollleee.”

I feel like I have to post a picture of my grandmother to prove she was a beauty.
I'm sure your grandparents loved each other, but that leads to a question.
Is love a feeling, or is it something you do?
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
EF8760D9-4BAD-431C-B052-41E4019C4579.jpeg
This is my beautiful grandmother. I couldn’t find the one I wanted to post.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
I'm sure your grandparents loved each other, but that leads to a question.
Is love a feeling, or is it something you do?
I would say both. Love is a feeling and an action. I guess the action comes from the feeling.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
She is gorgeous, must be where you gets it from.
I agree she is beautiful, but I don’t look anything like her. She had dark hair, green eyes, dark complection, and high cheekbones. I have none of those traits. 😢
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
523
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I don’t think they do if you are really in love.
I think loves ages like. Not like wine. You hear that all the time and it isn't like wine. Wine turns. It's more like whiskey, sort of. It takes on the color of the thing that holds it. The barrel, you know. But if it isn't held it just evaporates. Goes back in the air and the water. Then again, it does anyway, doesn't it? It recycles. It's kind of hard to think about, really.

It's God.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
I think loves ages like. Not like wine. You hear that all the time and it isn't like wine. Wine turns. It's more like whiskey, sort of. It takes on the color of the thing that holds it. The barrel, you know. But if it isn't held it just evaporates. Goes back in the air and the water. Then again, it does anyway, doesn't it? It recycles. It's kind of hard to think about, really.

It's God.
Yes, it’s too hard to define. Except to say God is love.

And we know He can not be defined, He is outside our complete knowledge.

I hope people don’t mind that the thread went astray. I like when they do, but others may not.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
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I don’t think they do if you are really in love.
The euphoric feeling of being in love is caused by a dopamine response in the brain, just like drugs. Eventually it will become impossible to maintain. Some will try to get back by moving on from one relationship to the next. They start chasing the dragon. I assume this is why the book of proverbs says when one trust feelings, they are a fool.