seeking approval...why?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
8,793
3,232
113
#1
Are you one of those people that NEED approval or care so much what others think?
I just wonder where that comes from, an intense need to be liked.

For me personally I actually find praise and compliments rather annoying at times and sometimes a little insincere. I wasnt really looking for anyones approval to exist. I just am.

Nor do I feel the need to praise or criticise people, I find it a tad manipulative, like in school where a teacher says I like the way xxx is sitting and doing his work, singling him out for attention, even if its good it makes everyone else either resent him or look bad.

A thank you is always appreciated but what is with all the over-praising and flattery, or the need to criticise and point out errors and make the person feel bad about themselves, when really, arent we all learning anyway. Who can actually say they have mastered everything and are the expert and can do no wrong, ever.

and why must people always act like a panel of master chef judges who only like what they like anyway. Doesnt everyone have different tastes, so what may be one mans trash is another persons treasure?
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
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#2
No, the only validation I seek is from Jesus. In the end, nothing else matters.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
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#3
I will add that the Bible tells us to uplift and encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ. I think that is helpful to help keep them on the straight and narrow.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,482
3,917
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#4
*Lynx crams a paw in his mouth and walks away quickly.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,704
10,765
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#6
According to the Bible, we are supposed to care about what others think...
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
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#8
Proverbs 29:25
New International Version


25 Fear(A) of man will prove to be a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord(B) is kept safe.(C)
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
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#9
I’m talking about what others think about us, not what others think in general.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
113
#10
I wonder if caring about the thoughts of others stops us from doing Gods will.
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
2,909
3,299
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#11
Before I was born again , I was a terrible people pleaser...
I would bend over backwards to please someone , but all for the wrong reasons...
Now I know that it is God alone that I please , ( Not all the time or as much as I would like ) , nevertheless , knowing to please God before anyone , that chain has been broken , it is horrible being a people pleaser , especially to make people like you...

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
...xox...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,979
10,903
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Florida
#12
Are you one of those people that NEED approval or care so much what others think?
I just wonder where that comes from, an intense need to be liked.

A thank you is always appreciated but what is with all the over-praising and flattery, or the need to criticize and point out errors and make the person feel bad about themselves, when really, aren't we all learning anyway. Who can actually say they have mastered everything and are the expert and can do no wrong, ever.
I really don't care if anyone likes me except for my wife. I do appreciate a thank you but seeking approval is not what I am about. Again, really don't give a squat what others think. The only opinion that matters to me is my wife's otherwise I don't want or accept unsolicited advice readily, if at all. Another thing, I don't keep score of someone's perceived annoyances and aggravations. It would probably be asking too much to expect the same courtesy in return so my expectations are low.
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
2,909
3,299
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#13
I wonder if caring about the thoughts of others stops us from doing Gods will.
Not if it is in line with God's will...

It is always a thin line , I mean , caring is a beautiful thing , but it can also cause great anxiety ...
I suppose it depends on who or what we are caring about...
...xox...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,979
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Florida
#14
*Lynx crams a paw in his mouth and walks away quickly.
...or perhaps scurrying away would be a more descriptive term. Careful about cramming the paw in your mouth as that is a cause of fur balls.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,979
10,903
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Florida
#15
Not if it is in line with God's will...

It is always a thin line , I mean , caring is a beautiful thing , but it can also cause great anxiety ...
I suppose it depends on who or what we are caring about...
...xox...
Caring could become a burden but Jesus did say that His yoke is easy and His burden light. I believe also that there is a thin line between being genuinely helpful or becoming an enabler, something that I have been guilty of. Also, a thin line between being brilliant and being crazy. I tend to bounce back and forth between the two.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,979
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Florida
#16
Not if it is in line with God's will...

It is always a thin line , I mean , caring is a beautiful thing , but it can also cause great anxiety ...
I suppose it depends on who or what we are caring about...
...xox...
I am certainly in agreement with you on this.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
113
#17
Not if it is in line with God's will...

It is always a thin line , I mean , caring is a beautiful thing , but it can also cause great anxiety ...
I suppose it depends on who or what we are caring about...
...xox...
One of the greatest prisons people live in is the fear of what people think.

Yes caring can be a beautiful thing.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,117
1,266
113
#18
We are not what others think we are, we are what God knows we are.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
32,979
10,903
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65
Florida
#19
One of the greatest prisons people live in is the fear of what people think.

Yes caring can be a beautiful thing.
"Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage". Yes, there is indeed such a thing as a prison in our minds.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,704
10,765
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#20
Would love to see scripture on this
1 Thessalonians 4:12 speaks of winning the respect of outsiders, and 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, Avoid every appearance of evil. There are many others too, since we are to admonish each other if someone is in the wrong, and please don't get me wrong, I am not talking about the unhealthy co-dependent pretzel dance some of us found ourselves doing in approval seeking and people pleasing...