Singlehood and Chastity

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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#61
Aug 13, 2014
29,020
10,462
113
#61
ThereRoseaLamb said:
Yes, there can be such issues, but wouldn't that be brought up in pre- marriage counseling? I was over 40 when I married but we still sat and spoke with our pastor before the wedding day. I would think it would be unfair to marry and then refuse to be intimate with your spouse.






Sex isn't the main reason, but it is a large part of being married. Again I would think that would be something talked about before the wedding day. If both agree and understand, then there's no issue. But I would be truthful with my partner if that were the case, before the wedding night.
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First, what you say is true.

But...

Second, you would be surprised and aghast at how much some people take some things as a given and don't talk about them until it is too late to back out of a situation.

Third, the way Gary phrased that last paragraph made it look like he was saying, "if there is no sex, there is no reason for anybody to get married and you should find somebody else to marry with whom you can have sex."

It will be interesting to see what Gary says when he returns to correct my interpretation of that last paragraph. I can't imagine he really meant it the way it looks to me, but I also can't imagine what else those particular words he used could mean.
 
T

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
#63
Jan 17, 2023
5,732
2,582
113
#63
Lynx said:
First, what you say is true.

But...

Second, you would be surprised and aghast at how much some people take some things as a given and don't talk about them until it is too late to back out of a situation.

Third, the way Gary phrased that last paragraph made it look like he was saying, "if there is no sex, there is no reason for anybody to get married and you should find somebody else to marry with whom you can have sex."

It will be interesting to see what Gary says when he returns to correct my interpretation of that last paragraph. I can't imagine he really meant it the way it looks to me, but I also can't imagine what else those particular words he used could mean.
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Yeah, I don't have a dog in that fight. Let you gentlemen sort that out. As to the second point, I understand that but when you marry sex is part of it unless otherwise understood and agreed. I love my sister to death, but when she was dating her now husband he had a daughter. I saw red flags and I told my sister so. But she had the love goggles on and didn't take me advice. That daughter, 24yrs later, has haunted their marriage and been an issue between them from the word go. She may be the reason, partly, for the end of the marriage. It doesn't feel good or do any good for me to say " I told you so". So, as a married person I'm telling singles, get these issues straight before you marry. Do not go into a marriage blind. You don't do it with anything else in your life, getting a job, buying a car, buying a home, you certainly shouldn't do so in marriage. If you do you have no one to blame but yourself. Just my 10 cents.
 
2ndTimeIsTheCharm

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

Well-known member
#67
Feb 17, 2023
2,308
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#67
Edith said:
Marriage can be very frightening but what you say frightens me more. imagine getting to scroll chatting online texting married friends and people who don't have time for you just because you have no personal ally. imagine spending all your life. I believe in our Christ my hope remains to the end
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I'm not even sure what you're talking about? I'm not alone. God does put His people in families:

Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families,
he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Plus I don't feel alone or lonely. I'm always very aware of God's presence with me! And I also have my biological family and friends. You can say that I'm one of the eunuchs the Bible talks about in:

Matthew 19:12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

I'm the third one! :giggle:


🥑
 
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