Singlehood and Chastity
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Or, perhaps, they invent a reason not to accept the truth about what Paul is saying?
1 Corinthians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Verses 2-5 go together - all or nothing. IF you are going to be married, THEN all of it applies.
Verse 6 is referring to the overall subject expressed by Paul in the verses before and after 2-5.
Even if not the direct commandment of God - is it not from the wisdom of God?
Otherwise, would God let Paul write/include it in Holy Scripture on a whim based on his own personal preference?
Yeah - go right ahead and 'neglect' your spouse - see how that works out for you...
1 Corinthians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Verses 2-5 go together - all or nothing. IF you are going to be married, THEN all of it applies.
Verse 6 is referring to the overall subject expressed by Paul in the verses before and after 2-5.
Even if not the direct commandment of God - is it not from the wisdom of God?
Otherwise, would God let Paul write/include it in Holy Scripture on a whim based on his own personal preference?
Yeah - go right ahead and 'neglect' your spouse - see how that works out for you...
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Lots of fornication going on is beside the point - the truth of what he says remains for-all-time.
IF you are going to be married, THEN both husband and wife must be willing to "render unto the other due benevolence"...
If either of them is not willing to do this - then, they should not be married. And, it really is that simple...
IF you are going to be married, THEN both husband and wife must be willing to "render unto the other due benevolence"...
If either of them is not willing to do this - then, they should not be married. And, it really is that simple...
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Keep in mind that I am talking about that which is healthy for a marriage - 'due benevolence' does not include just any form of perverted sexual activity the husband might come up with, for example. I am not saying that the wife should simply go along with "anything goes" according to the whim of her husband - don't even think it - if that is what you are afraid of.
If he truly loves her, he is not going to try to get her to do anything that is morally wrong or that will put her in a mental/emotional predicament. If he truly loves her, he only wants to please her - to give her 'due benevolence'.
However, it is reasonable for him to expect that 'due benevolence' should be rendered between them - each to the other.
If he truly loves her, he is not going to try to get her to do anything that is morally wrong or that will put her in a mental/emotional predicament. If he truly loves her, he only wants to please her - to give her 'due benevolence'.
However, it is reasonable for him to expect that 'due benevolence' should be rendered between them - each to the other.
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I could ask "What if one of them is physically incapable...?" But no. seoulsearch has mentioned that and you always ignore it.
I could bring up "Sometimes somebody has been abused in the past and sex is traumatic for..." But seoulsearch has brought that up before and you blithely ignore it.
I do have one question though.
If I know a lady and I want to marry her, but she is - for some reason, physical, mental or otherwise - incapable of intercourse, does that mean I have to leave her? Is sex the main reason people marry? Without sex is there no other reason to marry her?
If so, that is infinitely sad. It makes marriage a very utilitarian construct, with no room at all for love.
I could bring up "Sometimes somebody has been abused in the past and sex is traumatic for..." But seoulsearch has brought that up before and you blithely ignore it.
I do have one question though.
If I know a lady and I want to marry her, but she is - for some reason, physical, mental or otherwise - incapable of intercourse, does that mean I have to leave her? Is sex the main reason people marry? Without sex is there no other reason to marry her?
If so, that is infinitely sad. It makes marriage a very utilitarian construct, with no room at all for love.
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I think I'm not cut out for marriage. I love my freedom too much and would just probably end up divorced.
Even when I wasn't a Christian and had boyfriends I never understood why my boyfriends would want to hang out with me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had so many other things to do and I felt like I had to stop what I'm doing to attend to them.
Then when I became a Christian, I read about God's view of marriage and divorce and how He hates divorce. So I prayed to Him to please protect me from marrying someone if He knew I would end up divorcing them. So He did! I haven't met anyone I felt comfortable enough to want to marry.
So I've accepted that I'm probably not ever going to marry and once I realized that, I figured, "Well, why should I wait to be happy when I marry? I can be happy with God now!" And God definitely blessed that!
🥑
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I usually stay out of these discussions because I have never been married, so my "working knowledge" is somewhat limited.
However..... I have been around the pea patch long enough to know that the husband's rendering of non-sexual "due benevolence" is CRUCIAL to the wife's desire to please him physically. By "due benevolence" I am referring to his care for her emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.
It seems that for most men, a physically healthy marriage promotes a mentally and emotionally healthy marriage.
Women are usually the opposite. An emotionally/mentally/spiritually healthy marriage leads to a physically healthy one.
Both sides need to keep this in mind so situations do not feed off of themselves in an endlessly worsening spiral.
So, guys, if your lady doesn't seem to want you physically, quoting 1 Corinthians 7 probably won't long-term fix the actual problem, which is almost surely rooted in something mental/emotional.
And ladies, if your guy isn't looking after you emotionally then consider how important 1 Cor. 7 is to men, and don't withhold affection like it's a bargaining chip.
Disclaimer: I am using the broad term "affection" because physically affectionate things like kissing and hand-holding could apply to any romantic relationship (depending on what you feel God has permitted in your situation). Obviously, sex is reserved only for marriage relationships, but the connection between the physical and emotional world usually comes into play regardless of marital status. 🤓
However..... I have been around the pea patch long enough to know that the husband's rendering of non-sexual "due benevolence" is CRUCIAL to the wife's desire to please him physically. By "due benevolence" I am referring to his care for her emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.
It seems that for most men, a physically healthy marriage promotes a mentally and emotionally healthy marriage.
Women are usually the opposite. An emotionally/mentally/spiritually healthy marriage leads to a physically healthy one.
Both sides need to keep this in mind so situations do not feed off of themselves in an endlessly worsening spiral.
So, guys, if your lady doesn't seem to want you physically, quoting 1 Corinthians 7 probably won't long-term fix the actual problem, which is almost surely rooted in something mental/emotional.
And ladies, if your guy isn't looking after you emotionally then consider how important 1 Cor. 7 is to men, and don't withhold affection like it's a bargaining chip.
Disclaimer: I am using the broad term "affection" because physically affectionate things like kissing and hand-holding could apply to any romantic relationship (depending on what you feel God has permitted in your situation). Obviously, sex is reserved only for marriage relationships, but the connection between the physical and emotional world usually comes into play regardless of marital status. 🤓
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I think I'm not cut out for marriage. I love my freedom too much and would just probably end up divorced.
Even when I wasn't a Christian and had boyfriends I never understood why my boyfriends would want to hang out with me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had so many other things to do and I felt like I had to stop what I'm doing to attend to them.
Then when I became a Christian, I read about God's view of marriage and divorce and how He hates divorce. So I prayed to Him to please protect me from marrying someone if He knew I would end up divorcing them. So He did! I haven't met anyone I felt comfortable enough to want to marry.
So I've accepted that I'm probably not ever going to marry and once I realized that, I figured, "Well, why should I wait to be happy when I marry? I can be happy with God now!" And God definitely blessed that!
🥑
Even when I wasn't a Christian and had boyfriends I never understood why my boyfriends would want to hang out with me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had so many other things to do and I felt like I had to stop what I'm doing to attend to them.
Then when I became a Christian, I read about God's view of marriage and divorce and how He hates divorce. So I prayed to Him to please protect me from marrying someone if He knew I would end up divorcing them. So He did! I haven't met anyone I felt comfortable enough to want to marry.
So I've accepted that I'm probably not ever going to marry and once I realized that, I figured, "Well, why should I wait to be happy when I marry? I can be happy with God now!" And God definitely blessed that!
🥑
If you cannot imagine being around him everyday, definitely do not marry him! Wait until you meet the guy that you can imagine being around every day. Because you probably will be around him at least almost every day.
Reply 2:
Soooo... What are you doing this Saturday night?
(I am definitely joking, because you would go crazy if you had to be around me everyday. The constant low level singing and humming alone would get on your nerves within the first hour. But it was fun to say that.)
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Before I was baptized I had a few relationships in my twenties and thirties . Sex wasn't very important to me , I could take it or leave it and wasn't sure what all the fuss was about . I'm now in my late 50's and have been married for almost 24 years and I've only ever actually enjoyed sex with my husband and the older we r getting the closer we r getting . The problem with sex is that u never really know how u r going to feel about it until u actually do it and by then u r already married . I wish I had waited for my husband but we found each other eventually , thanks to God . If I'm honest I have to say that I'm not sure men understand women very well a lot of the time . Most women need to feel loved and if they don't , they can pull away from their man physically and the real problem for men is that women feel loved very differently from each other . Some women feel loved by lots of affection or by men doing nice things for them or by little presents etc , each woman is different . For sure , relationships r very complex and this is why they have to b built on a strong foundation , of love and respect and a desire to put a bit of effort in to understand and please each other . When two people love God and love Jesus , then they have the best foundation ever , it's one they can build on together as a couple . May God bless us all as we try to love each other as much as He would have us do so .
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As a single I refuse to think of sex but of course there are days though I have trained the brain to know that being capricious does not necessarily means you have what you want. so I may fear is it may no go well. they may want the sex I can not give at the moment. they also may just be fooling around. it's a fear.
I think I'm not cut out for marriage. I love my freedom too much and would just probably end up divorced.
Even when I wasn't a Christian and had boyfriends I never understood why my boyfriends would want to hang out with me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had so many other things to do and I felt like I had to stop what I'm doing to attend to them.
Then when I became a Christian, I read about God's view of marriage and divorce and how He hates divorce. So I prayed to Him to please protect me from marrying someone if He knew I would end up divorcing them. So He did! I haven't met anyone I felt comfortable enough to want to marry.
So I've accepted that I'm probably not ever going to marry and once I realized that, I figured, "Well, why should I wait to be happy when I marry? I can be happy with God now!" And God definitely blessed that!
🥑
Even when I wasn't a Christian and had boyfriends I never understood why my boyfriends would want to hang out with me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had so many other things to do and I felt like I had to stop what I'm doing to attend to them.
Then when I became a Christian, I read about God's view of marriage and divorce and how He hates divorce. So I prayed to Him to please protect me from marrying someone if He knew I would end up divorcing them. So He did! I haven't met anyone I felt comfortable enough to want to marry.
So I've accepted that I'm probably not ever going to marry and once I realized that, I figured, "Well, why should I wait to be happy when I marry? I can be happy with God now!" And God definitely blessed that!
🥑
Yes, there can be such issues, but wouldn't that be brought up in pre- marriage counseling? I was over 40 when I married but we still sat and spoke with our pastor before the wedding day. I would think it would be unfair to marry and then refuse to be intimate with your spouse.
Sex isn't the main reason, but it is a large part of being married. Again I would think that would be something talked about before the wedding day. If both agree and understand, then there's no issue. But I would be truthful with my partner if that were the case, before the wedding night.
Sex isn't the main reason, but it is a large part of being married. Again I would think that would be something talked about before the wedding day. If both agree and understand, then there's no issue. But I would be truthful with my partner if that were the case, before the wedding night.
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I didn't date till I was in my 40s. The second person I dated became my husband. I had a friend who was on the missionary field for years and was single. She had a beautiful singing voice and traveled and sang when she came off the mission field. She was good friends with this pastor and his wife for years. Suddenly, the pastors wife passed away. A while later my friend and he began to date. I believe she was in her 50s before they married and she became the pastors wife. So don't worry. Ask God to lead you. There are good and faithful men out there.
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