Soooo... ladies hot topic

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JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#21
I know a lot of people, Christians or not, who are not having sex simply because they don't have anyone currently in their life who is interested in having sex with them.

They're interested in having sex a-plenty, they just lack the opportunity.

Many are too shy to find someone, can't find someone, or aren't interest in doing what it takes to find someone.

But if they had someone, yes, they'd be having sex. Therefore, they're celibate because of a lack of availability, which I personally see as a form of involuntary celibacy.

And no, I definitely not saying it's the correct mind frame at all. But it's something I've observed in a a lot of the people around me.
But if your not looking for sex, knowing that if you were you'd probably be able to enjoin a partner, to me that is voluntary celibacy.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#22
If you call 7 months celibate then I am.
I made a post a while back that my ex-wife and I hooked up and I was not going to do that again.
So now I don't shower and shave much, and wear torn old clothes.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#23
But if your not looking for sex, knowing that if you were you'd probably be able to enjoin a partner, to me that is voluntary celibacy.
Unfortunately, I kind of call myself the Queen of First Dates because over the years, I've had a lot of First Dates Only with Christian guys who would talk about serving in worship that Sunday and then ask how soon a couple could start having sex after they started dating.

And now you can see why they were only first dates.

I'm definitely not stereotyping--it could be men or women who are like this. But I just personally see them as "Celibate Until Someone Says Yes," which isn't exactly voluntary celibacy. It's just waiting for an affirmative response.

However, I know you're talking about a different, conscious decision to NOT try to seek out or request sex and of course, that's what the Christian single life is supposed to strive for in the first place.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#24
Well, that's closer to being interesting.

Unfortunately, I kind of call myself the Queen of First Dates because over the years, I've had a lot of First Dates Only with Christian guys who would talk about serving in worship that Sunday and then ask how soon a couple could start having sex after they started dating.

And now you can see why they were only first dates.

I'm definitely not stereotyping--it could be men or women who are like this. But I just personally see them as "Celibate Until Someone Says Yes," which isn't exactly voluntary celibacy. It's just waiting for an affirmative response.

However, I know you're talking about a different, conscious decision to NOT try to seek out or request sex and of course, that's what the Christian single life is supposed to strive for in the first place.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#25
Well, that's closer to being interesting.
I went to lunch with a guy who told me during the meal about driving an hour and a half both ways to his old church even after a year, because he loved it so much.

I literally hadn't walked through my door even 15 minutes when he had already texted me, asking when we could start having sex.

Um... Never.

Thanks for making me feel like a cheap piece of meat.

Praise God I pay my own way on dates.

I don't ever want a man to say I used him for a free anything, nor do I want anything expected from me. This is but one of several horror stories I've shared here on the forums over the years.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#26
P.S. I am NOT knocking people for having sexual desires at all. We're all human, and I've sat through quite a few stories that would make most Christian's blood curdle, just trying to be respectful and to understand what other people have been through.

However, telling me about how awesome it was to play in the worship band that week or serve on a missions trip and then asking when we can start having sex doesn't make me feel very reassured about the sincerity of one's intentions.

Not to mention how many other fish they have on the line, just waiting for someone to say yes.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#27
What a maroon.

I went to lunch with a guy who told me during the meal about driving an hour and a half both ways to his old church even after a year, because he loved it so much.

I literally hadn't walked through my door even 15 minutes when he had already texted me, asking when we could start having sex.

Um... Never.

Thanks for making me feel like a cheap piece of meat.

Praise God I pay my own way on dates.

I don't ever want a man to say I used him for a free anything, nor do I want anything expected from me. This is but one of several horror stories I've shared here on the forums over the years.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#28
The deterioration of the general moral fiber of the country has made it tougher for a good man to find a good sincere woman and visa versa.
Although it seems to be, in my unscientific observation, that generally men have lost more moral ground then woman.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#29
I totally can't blame it all on men. I think women are becoming ever-more aggressive as well.

All the modern music today seems to be super young female pop stars singing, "Come and get me," so I understand that guys receive totally mixed messages from our culture as a whole.

The sad part is, there was one guy in particular I might have really liked, but seeing as he literally asked me to start sleeping with him minutes after the first meeting, there was no way I was going to go out with him again, as that would have obviously always been an issue. And I barely knew him! Such a shame that he didn't give a reason to want to get to know him as even just a friend.

#ForeverSingle.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#30
I don't know which to mourn more. The lack of moral fiber or the low social IQ.

Mostly the low social IQ at the moment.

I totally can't blame it all on men. I think women are becoming ever-more aggressive as well.

All the modern music today seems to be super young female pop stars singing, "Come and get me," so I understand that guys receive totally mixed messages from our culture as a whole.

The sad part is, there was one guy in particular I might have really liked, but seeing as he literally asked me to start sleeping with him minutes after the first meeting, there was no way I was going to go out with him again, as that would have obviously always been an issue. And I barely knew him! Such a shame that he didn't give a reason to want to get to know him as even just a friend.

#ForeverSingle.
 

notmyown

Senior Member
May 26, 2016
4,927
1,272
113
#31
i honestly thought this thread was gonna be about the store Hot Topic.

*shames herself for being so naïve*