So I am at a point in my life...I'm 28 Year sold. I was engaged back when I was tewnty-five,(I caught her cheating on me) and since then I have been indifferent to the idea of dating and pretty dismissive towards women in general. I don;t mind female friends or dating but I don;t open myself up to women the same way anymore. What advice do you guys have for someone with issues like this?
Starting Over?
- Thread starter Nautilus
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R
Im 26, almost 27. I was with my husband since I was 15 years old. We got married when we were 21 and a year and half ago he cheated and left. I didnt know what to do. On August 1st, is our divorce date when it will be finalized and I still worry about what its going to be like being single, since I havent really been single since I was 14. I dont remember what its like or anything. I also wonder with me being with the same guy for so long, how am I going to accept another man and his past. I have to give it to God. I cant dwell on something I dont even know yet. I would pray and ask God to open your heart to the woman he wants youto be with. What someone told me.....when you doubt.....DONT. God will give you peace with the right girl. I too am about to start over and Im scared and eager to see what becomes of this. God gives 2nd chances.....this time, Im letting him take control and I refuse to settle 
R
Let God be the healer and the one who restores you..like he did Job..i actually feel like Job right now..but i am gratefull he has not abandoned me. ALLOW Yourself time to heal and focus on God more than your pain..read hos word..let it soothe your soul..and pray for a jmheart of flesh to replace your heart of stone...
J
I agree, rauleetoe. Life happens and we get hurt.
It's important to take the time to heal. If we jump from one relationship to the next and don't allow healing/God to do a work in us, we drag far too much baggage into any other relationship that might come along. That's not fair to the other person or ourselves, is it?
It's important to take the time to heal. If we jump from one relationship to the next and don't allow healing/God to do a work in us, we drag far too much baggage into any other relationship that might come along. That's not fair to the other person or ourselves, is it?
I noticed.
Give your hurt to God. All of your memories, all of your feelings (even if you think you don't have any left). Talk to Him like He's your best friend and counselor. Because He is. Have a really long talk, and ask Him to give you the attitude that He wants you to have regarding His daughters.
Give your hurt to God. All of your memories, all of your feelings (even if you think you don't have any left). Talk to Him like He's your best friend and counselor. Because He is. Have a really long talk, and ask Him to give you the attitude that He wants you to have regarding His daughters.
Healing from past relationships is critical before moving on, not only because of the risk of dragging old baggage forward, but also the risk of jumping into a relationship for very wrong reasons. We tend to make very bad decisions about entering relationships when we're hurting.
The whole process and length of time is going to vary from one person to the next, and even the process may look different, but it is critical that we go through it. My real concern for the OP is that after three years it would seem that there is some hanging onto the hurt from that relationship instead of forgiving and moving on. My concern is that in some way you are unwilling to expose yourself to that kind of pain again and as a result are robbing yourself of the possible joy of a good relationship.
I've been where you are. I've had a fiance cheat and just shy of drain my savings before I figured it out.
The whole process and length of time is going to vary from one person to the next, and even the process may look different, but it is critical that we go through it. My real concern for the OP is that after three years it would seem that there is some hanging onto the hurt from that relationship instead of forgiving and moving on. My concern is that in some way you are unwilling to expose yourself to that kind of pain again and as a result are robbing yourself of the possible joy of a good relationship.
I've been where you are. I've had a fiance cheat and just shy of drain my savings before I figured it out.
I just really buried it and ignored for the past three years which was really easy since I was in school finishing a degree and was constantly busy with something and just going out on fun dates to pass the time. Now that Ive graduated Im like well id like a serious relationship, but at the same time what ive been doing works as far as having something goes, but i know none of it is ever going to lead to anythign serious
Sometimes I feel like IT hangs overhead like a storm cloud, that everyone can see it, and that it begs for an explanation.
But I'm to the place now where I can have fun, and realize that EVERYONE has a past. Whether they are embarrassed about having never been kissed or ashamed of some dark closet skeleton(s), frankly I'm done scaring the neighbors with mine.
I don't know about you but when I fell in love, the only time it was for keeps, we didn't really look back at what happened before we met. There was no where else to look but forward. Laugh, Live, have fun and enjoy what it is to be with someone on this crazy adventure.
NO one wants to sort someone else's dirty laundry. That is a total no win situation. I mean really, the path to my heart does not lie in a bed of sympathy and comfort over what happened before. That is not love. "I have a past." PERIOD FULL STOP END OF SENTENCE. That is really all there is.
In the end we all kind of want the same things, to be adored for what we cherish about ourselves, to be free with someone else, and to find someone to make utterly defenselessly helplessly uncontrollably ecstatically happy for as long as we both shall live.
But I'm to the place now where I can have fun, and realize that EVERYONE has a past. Whether they are embarrassed about having never been kissed or ashamed of some dark closet skeleton(s), frankly I'm done scaring the neighbors with mine.
I don't know about you but when I fell in love, the only time it was for keeps, we didn't really look back at what happened before we met. There was no where else to look but forward. Laugh, Live, have fun and enjoy what it is to be with someone on this crazy adventure.
NO one wants to sort someone else's dirty laundry. That is a total no win situation. I mean really, the path to my heart does not lie in a bed of sympathy and comfort over what happened before. That is not love. "I have a past." PERIOD FULL STOP END OF SENTENCE. That is really all there is.
In the end we all kind of want the same things, to be adored for what we cherish about ourselves, to be free with someone else, and to find someone to make utterly defenselessly helplessly uncontrollably ecstatically happy for as long as we both shall live.
Or bust it down with one of those swat battering rams, i just need to open myself up again. I became very private about myself. not isolation or anything, just keeping things very surface level and now im used to doing that. I don't really care about the cheating anymore, im over her, im just now stuck being very 'keep everything inside'
I hate it when that happens!
Nautilus, as far as advice goes, you seem to have a judgmental and dismissive attitude toward almost everything. Asking Jesus for an attitude adjustment is always the way to go. Ask to be filled with The Holy Spirit, and ask to have an attitude like Christ Jesus. That's the best advice I can give you.
Nautilus, as far as advice goes, you seem to have a judgmental and dismissive attitude toward almost everything. Asking Jesus for an attitude adjustment is always the way to go. Ask to be filled with The Holy Spirit, and ask to have an attitude like Christ Jesus. That's the best advice I can give you.