My apparently weekly update, though I want to start posting again more. I think I say that every time.
- I bought a taser. It looks like
this. Figured I might as well have something other than a heavy flashlight by my bed or just for something in my purse. It makes me feel like I have brass knuckles so I feel sort of like a BOSS, but I honestly hope I never am in a situation where I need to use it. The weird part of me wants to test it out on myself, just a split second, to see what it feels like.
- One of my coworkers birthday is this weekend and she LOVES birthdays so I asked a few other coworkers to help decorate her desk and I'm going into work early tomorrow so I can see her reaction.
- I want to take a vacation next year out west. There's only 3 people I would want to go with (read: would stay sane driving for 30+ hours with), so if they can't go, I wonder if I'll just go by myself? Part of me thinks I'd really enjoy that, part of me thinks I'd get lonely. Maybe I'll have made more friends by that time.
- I'm okay being single. My grandma prays for me, and for God to bring a man into my life, and she and my parents always say, "You never know what could change in a year." The thing is, that's what they say every year. I get their intention, and honestly you really don't know what can change in a year. In January I never thought I'd have moved to a different state by July. I suppose I just don't want to make that my focus; if it happens, it happens. I don't want other people's words of hope, just for me to think, "Another year has gone by, what say you now?" That sounds mean and pessimistic and like I'm against prayer....I don't know how to phrase what I'm feeling.
- At the same time, I've got to get out of the crush cycle I get in. I get a crush on someone, I get my hopes up, and in order to make myself back off, I berate myself. But there's still a glimmer of hope that ends up getting smashed in the end. Then I feel down, and wash, rinse, and repeat.
- I sound so gloomy, goodness. I'm not! I'm doing pretty well. I painted my nails gold tonight.
- My roommate is gone for the next two days. I sing to myself a lot more when I'm in the house by myself. I also am making a trip to visit my siblings tomorrow. It's an 8 hour round trip. I leave tomorrow and come back Sunday, a short trip. I sing almost the entire time. My poor vocal chords.