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Face it facebook. You're behind the times.
Arlo and Janis Comic Strip, October 27, 2014 on GoComics.com
Though facebook could limp on for another decade or more... I think there are still people on livejournal somewhere.
Arlo and Janis Comic Strip, October 27, 2014 on GoComics.com
Though facebook could limp on for another decade or more... I think there are still people on livejournal somewhere.
M
Part of me is struggling with being really, really angry and frustrated today.
I've often warned people, at the beginning of a friendship or a relationship, that I have a history of hurting others. Unintentionally, I would say, but the end result was nearly always the same- the people closest to me get hurt.
I've learned a lot and thought I had changed a lot since the last time I "warned" somebody about me. I can see now that my "warning" was more an attempt at a get-out-of-jail-free card than anything for the other person. What I mean is...if I tell a person right off the bat that I'm likely going to hurt them, then later on down the road, when I DO hurt them, they can't complain, can they? I did tell them. They knew. Right?
I realize what a crappy thing that is for me to do. What a selfish, thoughtless way for me to ease my own conscience.
That's what I'm angry and frustrated about. How have I gone through so many years doing this to people, and not realized what a jerk I was for doing it? How could I have thought that I was actually doing them a favor? Why did nobody ever believe me, take me seriously, and walk away? How could I have been okay with turning the tables so that if I did hurt a person, it was their fault?
Fun stuff to start my day out with. Yay Monday.
I've often warned people, at the beginning of a friendship or a relationship, that I have a history of hurting others. Unintentionally, I would say, but the end result was nearly always the same- the people closest to me get hurt.
I've learned a lot and thought I had changed a lot since the last time I "warned" somebody about me. I can see now that my "warning" was more an attempt at a get-out-of-jail-free card than anything for the other person. What I mean is...if I tell a person right off the bat that I'm likely going to hurt them, then later on down the road, when I DO hurt them, they can't complain, can they? I did tell them. They knew. Right?
I realize what a crappy thing that is for me to do. What a selfish, thoughtless way for me to ease my own conscience.
That's what I'm angry and frustrated about. How have I gone through so many years doing this to people, and not realized what a jerk I was for doing it? How could I have thought that I was actually doing them a favor? Why did nobody ever believe me, take me seriously, and walk away? How could I have been okay with turning the tables so that if I did hurt a person, it was their fault?
Fun stuff to start my day out with. Yay Monday.
M
Blown away at your insight MissCris.
God certainly is working within you.
Within studying psychology there's these 8 categories of things called agenda's.
One of them is the "I'm not good enough agenda"
I'm sure we've all felt this way until we pull ourselves up by our boot straps with Gods help.
Many people setup the pre-emptive strike as a defense mechanism to let others know they will hurt them.
The pre-emptive is usually because they inevitably feel the loved one will actually be the one to leave or hurt them so the person sets out to do so first instead so the friend never gets a chance to.
And in so doing push loved ones away without notice.
I was talking with this girl one time where she mentioned she did the same thing
Pushed people away.
I asked why.
Her reason was because she didn't like the way she was...which I didn't understand because she was very sweet.
So I inquired again...what is it about you that you don't like?
Her answer was that she didn't feel like she was a person she could look up to.
All I could say was...then be a person you can look up to.
For some reason the light bulb went on, and she began doing just that very thing.
We don't have to be defined by what we once were. That's the whole purpose of being born again right?
I like that insightful humble person you've become that I can look up to MissCris.
God certainly is working within you.
Within studying psychology there's these 8 categories of things called agenda's.
One of them is the "I'm not good enough agenda"
I'm sure we've all felt this way until we pull ourselves up by our boot straps with Gods help.
Many people setup the pre-emptive strike as a defense mechanism to let others know they will hurt them.
The pre-emptive is usually because they inevitably feel the loved one will actually be the one to leave or hurt them so the person sets out to do so first instead so the friend never gets a chance to.
And in so doing push loved ones away without notice.
I was talking with this girl one time where she mentioned she did the same thing
Pushed people away.
I asked why.
Her reason was because she didn't like the way she was...which I didn't understand because she was very sweet.
So I inquired again...what is it about you that you don't like?
Her answer was that she didn't feel like she was a person she could look up to.
All I could say was...then be a person you can look up to.
For some reason the light bulb went on, and she began doing just that very thing.
We don't have to be defined by what we once were. That's the whole purpose of being born again right?
I like that insightful humble person you've become that I can look up to MissCris.
B
Ugh.
The world needs to end.
Why do they randomly make me work for ONLY three hours today?
What is that supposed to do.
---------
Then by the time they get me they are going to be surprised that I had a whole day to plan. mwahahaha.
Ok maybe not 'mwahhaha', but this face.
The world needs to end.
Why do they randomly make me work for ONLY three hours today?
What is that supposed to do.
---------
Then by the time they get me they are going to be surprised that I had a whole day to plan. mwahahaha.
Ok maybe not 'mwahhaha', but this face.
Last edited by a moderator:
K
I would have to ask - what was your intent from the beginning? Were your warnings said out of love and compassion and as genuine concern because you knew the outcome could be detrimental? I mean, I kind of liken this (thanks to GraceLikeRain) like the fox and the chicken. Let's say the fox was a compassionate and loving fox with a conscience and with a penchant for gin rummy. He plays cards with a chicken, but warns him often, out of genuine friendship that if he hangs around with the fox too long, then he stands a chance of getting eaten. He is a fox, afterall. The chicken seems to fully understand and will often cock his head to listen for taletell stomach rumblings, not play him at all at dinner times and watches for chick filet commercials. All is fine until one day the chicken was dealing cards and had his hands full when the fox leaned over and broke the poor chickens neck and ate him. The fox felt horrible about his friend's demise, but also satisfied and had thought his friend tasted delicious.
Now if the fox claimed he was a vegan and deceived his friend, the chicken would still be eaten, but the fox would be untrustworthy and not held in high esteem.
Didn't God warn Pharoah...
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Genesis 41:28-3[/FONT]2"It is as I have spoken to Pharaoh: God has shown to Pharaoh what He is about to do. "Behold, seven years of great abundance are coming in all the land of Egypt; and after them seven years of famine will come, and all the abundance will be forgotten in the land of Egypt, and the famine will ravage the land.
And even tell us what NOT to worry over?
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Matthew 24:6-7[/FONT]
"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. "For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
and yet so many don't listen? Not like He didn't warn us....
So, MissCris, the way I see it is that I thought your warning was just and you are, therefore, blameless when someone does not heed your warnings. However! The change you might seek for yourself is another matter altogether and another subject. If you wonder why you could still potentially hurt someone in the same ways you have in the past and wish this "flaw" to be resolved, then you are the fox that wishes to became the vegan. That's the hardest change there is.
You remember in "Finding Nemo" when Nemo's dad confronted the 3 sharks? The sharks had changed and decided to not eat other fish. The temptation for the sharks was still there and Marlin looked mighty tasty, but except for one brief weak moment, the sharks were able to control their cravings. See, to me, that was the greatest change - the sharks! It wasn't so much that Marlin began to change and see that his little boy Nemo was growing up and could take care of himself, but it was the sharks that denied themselves; the beast within - the destructive behavior that you now recognize as harmful and a thing now you wish to change for the Glory of God. That, to me, is the greatest change. It's the soul that has tasted the fruit and changes so that they never taste it again. More powerful (in my worldly mind) than the soul that denies themselves from ever tasting it at all.
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Genesis 2:16-17[/FONT]
The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.
He is God afterall.....
Now if the fox claimed he was a vegan and deceived his friend, the chicken would still be eaten, but the fox would be untrustworthy and not held in high esteem.
Didn't God warn Pharoah...
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Genesis 41:28-3[/FONT]2"It is as I have spoken to Pharaoh: God has shown to Pharaoh what He is about to do. "Behold, seven years of great abundance are coming in all the land of Egypt; and after them seven years of famine will come, and all the abundance will be forgotten in the land of Egypt, and the famine will ravage the land.
And even tell us what NOT to worry over?
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Matthew 24:6-7[/FONT]
"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. "For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
and yet so many don't listen? Not like He didn't warn us....
So, MissCris, the way I see it is that I thought your warning was just and you are, therefore, blameless when someone does not heed your warnings. However! The change you might seek for yourself is another matter altogether and another subject. If you wonder why you could still potentially hurt someone in the same ways you have in the past and wish this "flaw" to be resolved, then you are the fox that wishes to became the vegan. That's the hardest change there is.
You remember in "Finding Nemo" when Nemo's dad confronted the 3 sharks? The sharks had changed and decided to not eat other fish. The temptation for the sharks was still there and Marlin looked mighty tasty, but except for one brief weak moment, the sharks were able to control their cravings. See, to me, that was the greatest change - the sharks! It wasn't so much that Marlin began to change and see that his little boy Nemo was growing up and could take care of himself, but it was the sharks that denied themselves; the beast within - the destructive behavior that you now recognize as harmful and a thing now you wish to change for the Glory of God. That, to me, is the greatest change. It's the soul that has tasted the fruit and changes so that they never taste it again. More powerful (in my worldly mind) than the soul that denies themselves from ever tasting it at all.
[FONT=kepler-std !important]Genesis 2:16-17[/FONT]
The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.
He is God afterall.....
M
You, sir, are a deep well.
I feel very humbled by the responses to a thought/feeling/change process that I'm not proud to admit I'm experiencing.
I don't want to be the fox anymore. Warning people what I'm capable of isn't enough- I don't want to give in to my own weakness anymore. I don't want there to be any need for that warning. I don't know that there's anything all that great about wanting to stop being...destructive, hurtful, self-indulging...I dunno. I just know that I can't live like that and serve God.
I feel very humbled by the responses to a thought/feeling/change process that I'm not proud to admit I'm experiencing.
I don't want to be the fox anymore. Warning people what I'm capable of isn't enough- I don't want to give in to my own weakness anymore. I don't want there to be any need for that warning. I don't know that there's anything all that great about wanting to stop being...destructive, hurtful, self-indulging...I dunno. I just know that I can't live like that and serve God.
