I will be glad when I die. No more bills! I am so sick of always trying to make ends meet. Yer' whole life revolves around needing $$ to exists it seems. Every bill is tied in with the other somehow.
I know I am supposed to trust God for all my needs,and I do. I am fully aware that my life could be much worse & he's blessed me many times & gotten me out of some real binds financially.
I still have never known what it was like to never have to always think ahead about $$$ I've never been that well off.
There's always been some stupid situations where I have to dip into the money I was using for savings or padding for that rainy day & then I'm back at square one again,or even in the minus.
I look back now with fleshy eyes & greed & think.."Man,what an idiot I was,I should have told my ex I wanted HALF of everything & said heck with it & got a lawyer!" - but that would have made such an easy divorce turn ugly. She wanted to leave & I let her,there was no changing her mind. Why protest if someone does not want to be with you after you beg them to talk to you,to go to counseling together as a couple or just her...to talk things out & see if there's a way to salvage the marriage.
Guess God wasn't going to intervene as the whole marriage wasn't blessed by him anyways. What does he think? Does he just turn away from marriages where one person is a believer & the other isn't?
Who cares. Dumb questions anyways to think on. Past is Past!!!!
I'm broke & alone now,time to move on.
I'm so full of cheer this morning. UGH! I really hate when I get this way. I have to get my head out of my buns & do something productive today. I wish I could think of a creative job to do from home while I have all this time between my job. I need $$$$
I've never lived in a place where to fill out applications & give them your resume & it takes them like 6 months to contact you...it's like ummm...you posted that you needed help 6 months ago,yer' just now looking at applicants? HELLOOOOO?
Maine is such a strange place,or maybe is just this area of Maine.
I'm gonna have to buy ant buttons again I see. Spotted my 1st ant last night.
I'm sorry God,I know to created them but I really hate bugs. (inside my home)
I do enjoy ladybugs & fireflies...dragonflies too...oh and bumble bees are kinda cute too...the big furry ones that bounce off of everything like they need serious glasses. Ok, God I guess some bugs are cool.
Something I was thinking about last night.
Is it wrong to pray for someone to die...I mean like if someone is suffering really badly?
Obviously you'd love to see someone get healed,but...like if you know someone who's really old & terrible ridden with cancer,always in pain...is it wrong to pray that The Lord takes them???
I have always prayed that of course God's will be done,but also that if they are going to linger on here that at least they wouldn't be in so much pain.
I sort of did that with my Mom. I knew how sick she was when I spoke to her...not even sure she knew how bad she was,but it was horrible. I dunno...don't wanna think about this now...enough garbage on my mind,I don't need to get any more depressed.
Someone always has it worse Jim! GROW UP!