I wrote a post earlier about how God was my everything, even though I know that times would come when I would be down.
I didn't know that it would be Friday. Sometimes...you just feel down. Maybe it's work pressures that's building up, the negative things people say, or just something in your brain chemistry that wants to take a day off...
It's like you can feel your body is going into depression. Your spirit is aware of it. I did all I could to fight it.
I went out in the weekend, did some fun shopping, all that good stuff. There is however only so much to make you feel good.
Things like concerts, festivals and people don't make me happy. I hate it.
The crowds can be annoying and strangers exhausting.
I am a lonely person. Once it was by circumstance, now it is by choice.
Maybe there are these old wounds in my childhood that chose to surface this time around to cause the low...I just don't know.
I do know though that God is healing me from them.
I am not without Him
Loneliness , sadness , depression - these are all things we go through. I did try to fight it until I just embraced it.
Tonight, I took my dog out to go look at the night sky. It had rained all evening and late afternoon which was my perfect excuse to spend some time by myself cleaning and organizing.
It was not a clear night.
It's not my kind of night. My kind of nights are the ones where I can see all the stars and meditate on how amazing God has made the universe.
There were clouds everywhere on the horizon much like my mind. I strained as hard as I could to spot any light, even a little one.
Just then something twinkled where I was staring and my heart leapt. I thought that I spotted Venus until the light grew higher and higher soaring up.
I found myself smiling. It was an airplane.
I love them. There's just something so very beautiful to see them in the night sky and wondering which direction it is heading. I end up thinking of the people in them.
Airplanes are my symbol of loneliness. Whenever I look at them I remember lost feelings of being in love.
Once, I thought I was in love with someone who lived a bit far away and I remembered how much I tried to hold on to every little bit of our relationship.
I would come out to sit and watch airplanes and wonder if any of them would be heading his way.
This time though I found myself being happy about them.
There are still some planes that I would like to catch but now my feet is on the ground. I quite like my company and God's.
And my dog's.
And my family. And my friends. I am loved.
It is all good.
God is good
