maybe this is because of their view of what Love is. I mean we all experience love here in this world that is of this world that is claimed to be God's love, when in truth it is not.
God is opposite of this world's type of love. read it in 1 Cor. 13:4-13, and ask God for this love from God and be new in God by God from God a gift of true love unto you to give to others regardless of what they say or do against you and others
Love God's type is the way, the truth and the life that overcomes and stomps out evil in the long run, where as bickering, arguing, fighting just creates sin that brings condemnation, doubt and fear.
When the perfect love of God actually casts our all fear