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Molly, I know you probably already know this, but the fact that you took that really difficult step to break up with him shows just how strong you actually are. A person isn't strong because they can take blows from abusive people, a person is strong because they are confident in who they are, have healthy boundaries in place, and have the self-respect to demand respect from others. The guy you were dating was in the very least acting like a little boy who can shave by cutting you down and then calling you weak for having a problem with it. That is not how any man (I don't care if you are a Christian or not) treatsany woman.
He still might. I recommend keeping your ear to the ground about this guy.
All I know is if any boyfriend ever treated my sister that way they would have my whole family - mother, father, two brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and one very upset grandma - on his butt so fast he would need a piece of string with a weight on it to determine up from down. One does NOT talk to any of our family or friends that way.
All I know is if any boyfriend ever treated my sister that way they would have my whole family - mother, father, two brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and one very upset grandma - on his butt so fast he would need a piece of string with a weight on it to determine up from down. One does NOT talk to any of our family or friends that way.
M
He lives an hour away and he actually doesn't know my address. When we met in person we went to a public restaurant. That gives me a bit of peace. Still, will have my ear to the ground for sure.
The thing is I kept it a secret the first time he cussed me out. Now, I couldn't. It was too much. So yeah all of my family doesn't like him now. Which is good, keeps me from making a stupid mistake. I know ChandlerFan, Kim and a few others mentioned me standing up for myself but it's hard. I get the urge to go back. It's silly, right? But I have to be strong.
The thing is I kept it a secret the first time he cussed me out. Now, I couldn't. It was too much. So yeah all of my family doesn't like him now. Which is good, keeps me from making a stupid mistake. I know ChandlerFan, Kim and a few others mentioned me standing up for myself but it's hard. I get the urge to go back. It's silly, right? But I have to be strong.
Yes, you get the urge to go back, because you want to feel loved, and be
special to someone, but this is not the guy for that
What he was doing
is not love, though you were special, being willing to put up with him for
as long as you did Congratulations to you for breaking it off.
It seldom gets better when it takes on a flavor like that.
All you would have been doing is constantly trying to
find your footing. You deserve better than that
special to someone, but this is not the guy for that
What he was doing is not love, though you were special, being willing to put up with him for
as long as you did
Congratulations to you for breaking it off. It seldom gets better when it takes on a flavor like that.
All you would have been doing is constantly trying to
find your footing. You deserve better than that
You don't know each other well enough for him to know your street address and he cussed you out like that? That's more red flags than a Chinese military parade.
On the other hand, you probably don't know his address either... which keeps him safe from your family having a little chat with him. =^.^=
On the other hand, you probably don't know his address either... which keeps him safe from your family having a little chat with him. =^.^=
I know you .... you're a precious lady and you deserve a good man who wants to make you feel loved and protected. Don't accept anything less. I'm proud of you for coming here to get advice, then taking that advice and putting it in action. I'm praying God blesses you with a good Christian man that loves God and loves you.
I feel you. I try not to get on Facebook anymore for that reason, or at least immediately get off when I start to feel "less than."
When I was a kid, as most kids think, I thought that being an adult meant you could do what you want so I just couldn't WAIT to be all grown up. Now that I'm here... I like to exercise my "do what I want" ability by sometimes eating ice cream for dinner or running and fly-jumping onto my bed to balance out the ever-looming debt and work in my "grown up" life.
When I was a kid, as most kids think, I thought that being an adult meant you could do what you want so I just couldn't WAIT to be all grown up. Now that I'm here... I like to exercise my "do what I want" ability by sometimes eating ice cream for dinner or running and fly-jumping onto my bed to balance out the ever-looming debt and work in my "grown up" life.
rachelsedge I can answer that with a C&H:
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 10, 1989 | Read Comic Strips at GoComics.com
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 10, 1989 | Read Comic Strips at GoComics.com
Stay strong, Molly. I have to say too that you are an AWESOME young lady and plenty mature. I think I understand what you were trying to do by trying to make yourself less sensitive to rudeness and harsh treatment, but that's not what makes a person mature. Your sensitivity is actually a gift.
Studies show that about 20% percent of all humans are very sensitivity and have a heightened sense of awareness about things and are very intuitive. It's not your fault that you are sensitive. In the animal kingdom, they studied herds and found that there is always a small percentage of highly sensitive animals in the herd and they are the ones who warn the others of approaching danger so they are crucial to keeping the entire herd safe. They say that even humans have this small percentage of highly sensitive people who can't just sense things, but are also highly intuitive.
It's a double-edged sword because on one hand you are very intuitive and can pick up on things other people don't notice, but on the other hand it makes people like us very sensitive to even the slightest hint of unfairness, rudeness or indifference from others. I struggle with it too. One thing that helps me is to remember that God sees all things and saw what happened, how that person treated you and more importantly, how it made you feel. He will make an accounting of it and deal with it however He sees fit and wants us to let it go and forgive. I know its easier said than done, but it is written, and its in the Lord's prayer too (forgive us as we forgive those...).
So, please don't torture yourself further. You are a very special and beautiful person. God would not want to see you treated like that. He knows how precious and sensitive you are because He made you that way. It would hurt Him to see you put yourself through that.
Ok, I've rambled enough.. God bless you, Molly and I'll pray that God helps you move on from this.
Studies show that about 20% percent of all humans are very sensitivity and have a heightened sense of awareness about things and are very intuitive. It's not your fault that you are sensitive. In the animal kingdom, they studied herds and found that there is always a small percentage of highly sensitive animals in the herd and they are the ones who warn the others of approaching danger so they are crucial to keeping the entire herd safe. They say that even humans have this small percentage of highly sensitive people who can't just sense things, but are also highly intuitive.
It's a double-edged sword because on one hand you are very intuitive and can pick up on things other people don't notice, but on the other hand it makes people like us very sensitive to even the slightest hint of unfairness, rudeness or indifference from others. I struggle with it too. One thing that helps me is to remember that God sees all things and saw what happened, how that person treated you and more importantly, how it made you feel. He will make an accounting of it and deal with it however He sees fit and wants us to let it go and forgive. I know its easier said than done, but it is written, and its in the Lord's prayer too (forgive us as we forgive those...).
So, please don't torture yourself further. You are a very special and beautiful person. God would not want to see you treated like that. He knows how precious and sensitive you are because He made you that way. It would hurt Him to see you put yourself through that.
Ok, I've rambled enough.. God bless you, Molly and I'll pray that God helps you move on from this.
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...I have to add that the reason I know you are plenty mature is because of what you've had to go through, what you've had to suffer through. I've had to go through some of the same type of things and I know that they really push you to the limit and make you feel pain that most people will never know. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I know you might still be going through it, but a pastor once said that like a pearl, God puts some of us through a life of constant rubbing and being squeezed so hard that it feels like its going to kill us, but in the end we are something beautiful to behold, whose beauty and radiance cannot be matched and is one of a kind.. You are like that pearl, Molly.
M
Thank you for those kind words ZT! You're a wonderful person too!
Thank you to everyone else on here and Skype who has talked with me too. I appreciate it very much. In a way, I'm glad it's over. I feel lighter already. It was a heavy load to carry and I hadn't realized that. Sure, it's going to be hard because I cared so much about him, but I know this is what God wants.
Thank you to everyone else on here and Skype who has talked with me too. I appreciate it very much. In a way, I'm glad it's over. I feel lighter already. It was a heavy load to carry and I hadn't realized that. Sure, it's going to be hard because I cared so much about him, but I know this is what God wants.