Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I'm not suicidal. I just feel...lost.
 
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PrettyBelle

Guest
Things I've been realizing about myself....

I never knew I had this inner strength and courage before now..... I just saw it as surviving

Never thought there would be life after losing him..... I realized how to love the one person who needed it most....me

I spent too many years in the mirror worrying how others saw me.....I realized the only person's approval I really need is Jesus.

I was always way too hard on myself.....I realized that it's ok to color outside of the lines.

My heart was shattered... but Jesus knows where all the pieces go. I just have to know where to find them for Him.

I'm feeling a lot lighter these days. There is more sun than rainy days. I need to celebrate better.

I'm a work in progress and that's ok at 41. :)
 
Oct 31, 2011
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Things I've been realizing about myself....

I never knew I had this inner strength and courage before now..... I just saw it as surviving

Never thought there would be life after losing him..... I realized how to love the one person who needed it most....me

I spent too many years in the mirror worrying how others saw me.....I realized the only person's approval I really need is Jesus.

I was always way too hard on myself.....I realized that it's ok to color outside of the lines.

My heart was shattered... but Jesus knows where all the pieces go. I just have to know where to find them for Him.

I'm feeling a lot lighter these days. There is more sun than rainy days. I need to celebrate better.

I'm a work in progress and that's ok at 41. :)
It's like going hang gliding. You run, jump, and put your entire being in the hands of the power that is God. You can trust it, and once you jump it is best to just rely on that power.
 
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OceanGrl

Guest
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I'm not suicidal. I just feel...lost.
I totally understand this, I get like this sometimes. It's crazy because things may go well and then all of a sudden I get this feeling that I'm lacking direction and I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing in life. So, just wanted to say that you are not alone in feeling a little lost at times.
 
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PrettyBelle

Guest
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I'm not suicidal. I just feel...lost.
[video=youtube;qEz2PsLJ-RI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEz2PsLJ-RI[/video]

You're not lost sister. We love you. He loves you.
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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We're the ones who believe in the things unseen
This home, this body is the in-between
We're the ones who fight down on our knees
Who dare to love our enemies, love enemies

They say it sounds insane, we say that we've been changed
By the power of crazy love
This world, it looks at us like we're ridiculous
Maybe it's all because of crazy love

~ Hawk Nelson (Crazy Love)

 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
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I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I'm not suicidal. I just feel...lost.
I know how that feels. When you have no sense of direction or what God wants you do to. That's the prime time to ask God, "What do you want me to do? whether it's now or in the future." :) It's helped me TONS. Because when I feel like this, God reminds me that hey, He's got a plan, and I've got a job to do. :)
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
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Another interesting day...

Jay and Denise got to meet for the first time. We were all able to meet up for some fellowship over dinner.

She was excited, Jay was tired, and I was somewhere in between.

The food came out. Denise grabbed the plates and prepared them for us placing portions of everything we got on the plates. She then gave us each a napkin. Jay grabbed a piece of the food and brought it up to his mouth. Denise grabbed him by the arm and said, "We should pray. Right?"
Jay smiled, looked at the plates and napkins that she prepared and then back at her and said, "You have such a servant's heart. Of course we should pray and give thanks to God."
Not one of us was self-conscious in that crowded restaurant as we lifted our voices and received our food with thanksgiving.
I was so humbled by the fellowship and presence of God.
It was a great evening.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
I'm humbled by reading a lot of all your responses right now. Amen? Let go and ask God. Just be ready for His answer, it may be totally different than you suspect, or, even want, but it will be what is not wanted by you that matters,and, instead, what is needed by Him of you to do His work, for His glory that you really want and need even though until He shows you you did not want it or even need it. And, don't forget, it just goes with the territory, even though, a lot of time you can't see it, but, yes, you, yes, you, will be blessed by 'it's being worked in your life. Whatever 'it' is :)

I heard someone on here mention Ephesians 2:10. That's a great verse of you being hand-crafted for His great work. Never forget His plan is out there for you, has been since the beginning of your conception, before you were even conceived, in fact, God knew. Just knew. I don't know how, but He knew :) Psalms 139 :)


I'm going to bed, thinking of how I can be bold, like markum, at the lunch table after church, I have a wednesday night bible teacher (we are going through Acts) that is really on fire , with the HOly Spirit inside him, he is totally making me think about things I only thought I was really thinking about (boldly) before. God bless you, all , night
 
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homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
15,478
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God bless everyone's evenings and night's, do what Jesus would do
Whatever Father told him, for that is what he did, and that is the example to us to listen to the Holy Ghost he sent all that beleive to learn to listen and do as the inner man of ones heart leads, which is all LOVE God's type 1 cor that no human can recieve only oine's born again Spirit by the resurrected Christ
Colossians 2:3in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
 
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Powemm

Guest
Yesterday was great! My family has packed back in from all their doings ..
Wes bagged a turkey hunting yesterday, maisy stood for the first time, oldest brother and his family came in from their dirtbike races and my youngest brother strolled in with His new wife and three children.. I'm so proud of Him..I'm lucky to have the type of men my brothers are..
Went to a birthday party yesterday .. Have never met this family and they live close surprisingly.. my daughter in law met a mother online who has a baby the same age as maisy .. She asked me to go with her out of her nervousness and of course, how could I not? New people?? My oh my I wouldn't miss it!! It was a Huge family !! lovely people .. held at the grandmothers house who is the same age as me ..we got along fantastically and I've been invited back over next Saturday for a get together with the women .. who knows where the lord is taking me now .. I'm sitting in my living room.. Bodies all over the place .. Couch, chair , floor.. full house this weekend .. We are walking up to my moms house this morning after the dead rise from their slumbering sleep ..or maybeeeee I'll just go around and tickle everyone with a feather to their nose. I kind of like that devious plan better .. coffee first .. Then we are off to eat an old family Cajun recipe handed down for generations on our family.."FLAMDONIONS". OooooWee sha!!! we are getting the paddle boat , canoes, and the trolling boats out to fish later, dirtbikes will be pushed to the Max to see who is the fastest and I'll be soaking it all in .. God has really blessed our family .. I'm so very thankful for them ..
 
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Jullianna

Guest
I'm a warrior. A trained warrior. When people meet me, they see a quiet, gentle looking woman with a soft heart and voice who loves to laugh. They see the side I want to show. But when certain situations are presented and people step over the line, they are very surprised to hit a wall. It is compartmentalized, but it is there.

I can't apologize for this because I need it to protect my life and the lives of others. I think this is why I identify so closely with the facets of King David. He was a man after God's own heart. A man gentle enough to shepherd sheep, yet strong/bold enough to face Goliath. (Many people say he was a ginger too :) )

I know Jesus understands. I read about the Carpenter clearing the Temple of moneychangers. :)

Maybe it is the fact that I am a woman that makes it so surprising. I think the woman who took down Israel's enemy king with a tent stake and a hammer in the OT would understand.

(my 8888th post...cool)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
Now and again I must say it for the sake of my sanity....

The word is "THAN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is not "then". :)

As in: I am taller THAN you.

No, no, no....I'm fine. Move along. Nothing to see here. Temporary meltdown. I'll be okay. :D
 
Aug 2, 2009
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I'm a warrior. A trained warrior. When people meet me, they see a quiet, gentle looking woman with a soft heart and voice who loves to laugh. They see the side I want to show. But when certain situations are presented and people step over the line, they are very surprised to hit a wall. It is compartmentalized, but it is there.

I can't apologize for this because I need it to protect my life and the lives of others.
I know you're being totally serious and so am I when I say that you are a true hero, Jullianna. And you are the type of person I would trust my life with.
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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I wonder if I should post in this thread...

I mean, it seems like a good idea, and it's really more just to read than necessarily respond to...

Then again, we do have this whole 'blog' feature that I could use...

Hmm...I'm not sure. Perhaps I could do both, but I'll have to ponder that for a while...

On another note, it's Sunday (which is the busiest day of the week for those in ministry as a career/profession).

*sigh* It's all good...I'll get back to this eventually...but if my blogs or posts here are anything like my journal irl...it could be days, weeks, months, even years...between writings. ...which is ironic, because I can actually glean a lot from literature and give a lot from writing...it's just that something about it doesn't particularly tickle my fancy...

I guess that while there is substance and thought and even enhancement (on a sort of... grammatical level...with speaking, reading, exposure, and the like...), overall, in today's fast-paced world of sensory overloading entertainment as well as necessary work, school, or otherwise productivity-related media and electronic communications, the old ways (while still valuable in their given states) just tend not to quite measure up.

This may upset some, I know, but look at this way... People at an earlier time and age actually enjoyed listening to people speak (in the form of lecture), and did so as a form of entertainment. Thus, the lecture (or preaching) format in our churches and schools exists. Recent studies (and many past), however, show this to be the least effective way of learning for most... strange...don't you think? IT was for a time, quite effective, but then a great deal of life is change...

In a similar fashion, I found myself reading and writing electronically far more than simply picking up a book or pen, and in earnest am almost really more inclined to. Sure, when it comes to music, I better enjoy the pencil and page, but then...shift happens.

"Did You Know?/Shift Happens" (Version 6, 2012) - YouTube
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
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''You wake up on a Saturday, the house is empty, your mind is refreshed as the light creaks past the curtains, but your don't want to get up, you just want to listen to the street cars rush down the road, you know that in your future you will have to work hard, in school, in work, in life, and that these relaxing moments are fleeting, you cling to your pillow knowing that your going to miss this peace.''

-redsbr

[video=youtube;eTuR6kgbvSw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTuR6kgbvSw[/video]
 
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Jullianna

Guest
I just noticed that nearly 17,000 people have viewed my page. :confused: What in the world are y'all looking at? :D
 
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Relena7

Guest
Now and again I must say it for the sake of my sanity....

The word is "THAN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is not "then". :)

As in: I am taller THAN you.

No, no, no....I'm fine. Move along. Nothing to see here. Temporary meltdown. I'll be okay. :D
You grammar people scare me. O.O

I don't think I make that mistake. But if someone else did, I probably wouldn't even notice.