Every time I see one of those "bad taxidermy" pictures, I think of a phone call from work. This guy called and asked if we had a "recently deceased white rabbit". I assumed he wanted a feeder (which we don't sell), but he stressed that the rabbit needed to have died of natural causes. He said he was a taxidermist, and that one of his "very good customers" (isn't it a little strange that he'd have a very good customer?
) had commissioned a stuffed white rabbit.
The whole time, I was trying to figure out if he was trying to get me to kill a bunny or not. He kept repeating the "natural causes" line, so often that I started to think he didn't mean it. I said that we did happen to have a white rabbit, but I didn't anticipate it...
dying any time soon. He said, "Well... if it did die, what would you do with the body?"
As soon as he said that, I thought "He IS trying to get me to kill it!" and, as horrible as it sounds, my brain started coming up with various ways to kill the rabbit and make it look like an accident. "I could choke it! No, that's terrible, I'm not killing... yeah, it might show bruises anyway. Rat poison! That would... seriously, what is wrong with me? I'm not going to kill... but I wonder how much he'd pay me."
I should be ashamed.