Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Arlene89

Guest
"In this time and place, I have to be me. I HAVE to be." I'm one of these people who constantly screen people, compare myself against them, re-adjust my behaviour according to my surroundings and think what I should be is what everyone else is because clearly they're right and I'm wrong.

But I'm going through such an interesting time in my life, the Lord has been taking me through a very core shaking voyage, and I have concluded, if I truly want to be walking according to the Lord's will, I have to be me. I just have to be. Because he brought me in to being at this specific point in existence, at this appointed place, equipped with this particular personality, gifts, traits, experience and temperament to reflect His light, His nature and person in this little world I live in.

I know, everyone else has probably knows this, this is like Beginners Christianity lesson 1:01, (the 'I'm a special, unique, individual snow flake Sunday school lesson') but how many of us are constantly at war with ourselves? How many of us are embarrassed about something about ourselves, or haul ourselves into the battle with our weight, our looks, our dress sense, our perception on our self-worth, only to be left feeling defeated? I mean, yes we battle with our flesh, but there is this essence, this flavour that we bring to the table that no one else could and its something we can't fight or conquer. Because these traits are what God wanted us to work with and to flourish with.

The amount of times I face-palm myself at my terrible taste in puns and sense of humour, or the fact I think I get so passionate about something and I fear I'm making people feel uncomfortable with my sky-punching, dramatic 'let's change the world' rants, or the fact I don't like the way the width of my hips are out of proportion to my waist and chest ( silly things, I know). But I have to be me, I am insulting God's handiwork if I curse and loathe the very things that I am that I cannot escape. I need to be 'me' for the now, I was fashioned this way to serve, impact and love the people around me the way I know how.

Things I do: I take one look in the 'Bible Discussions' forum and I am already hanging my head at my inability to have serious theological debates. All I have is 'love-love lovelovelove Looooveee' stories, testimonies and revelations about God. I look at my little bag of 'stuff' I re-use and recycle where ever possible and sometimes place it next to someone else's vast knowledge of the Word and scripture. I feel silly. But you know what? My work place is filled with broken women with broken hearts. I don't think a theological debate is going to move or stir their hearts, I think my sky-punching, passion spiels about God's 'love lovelove love-love-love' is what is needed for this time, for this place, in my little world.

My friend and I have this ridiculous inside joke, its a wild and long story, but all she has to say is, 'I'm just playing my violin in a tree in the corner of Malaysia' and I am set off with stomach aching laughter, tear filled eyes which are usually accompanied with me slapping something in my sweet craziness. I live for these moments, I'm addicted to laughter, I have no shame when I am in a restaurant killing off every conversation taken place because my laugh and gasps for air are penetrating all the chatter and murmuring. But then it sets everyone off and the laughter becomes contagious. I probably look crazy, BUT THAT'S OKAY.

I'm exactly who I need to be. God didn't make a huge blunder when He fashioned me in the womb, He knew what He was doing. You know what? Go loves my hips, in fact He had the blueprints made up before time itself, and even intimately fashioned them accordingly. I believe the Lord takes delight in my laughter, even if it tends to ring out and echo at seemingly inappropriate times.

I may be at a different level of spiritual maturity to others, but that doesn't impact my worth or value. I can stop hating myself and replaying the same self-destructive song in my head as I come to see myself through God's eyes. I am precious. You are precious. Living means we are all in some kind of messy process, but we all have something someone else needs. You are needed. You a worthy and valuable. The beautiful core bit of you that is inside may be a sweet concoction of wonderful things I could never bring to the table. I don't envy that, and won't allow myself to let it beat me to a pulp, but will celebrate the you that you are because we all play a piece in being the bride of Christ, as part of one body.

I love you guys...
 
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Arlene89

Guest
Oh my.... I am seriously going to seek help and stop abusing all this caffeine...
 
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LittleBit1987

Guest
Oh my.... I am seriously going to seek help and stop abusing all this caffeine...
Just..... Put...... The coffee...... Down..... And step away from the coffee maker...

it will be ok. I promise you... ( even tho you don't know me, but you can trust me anyways) :)
 
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mrsouthside

Guest
So last night I had a dream I was in anoter war. As myself in the dream I got scared and cried.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
I have my phone set to lock after 5 minutes, so that I can tell how long I've been sitting here zoning out. Those 5 minutes were spent rather productively for once...well, compared to the average um...zoning out time. Why do I do this to myself? This whole posting in here when I'm literally half asleep thing. No dreams of fowl beasts (ha, geddit?) yet. I think I was trying to say something about what I was thinking about, but brain function has become so limited that I can't even be sure what I'm thinking about right now let alone...something.

I had a near-death experience today, with what I thought was some kind of very small, very dangerous, very red little spidery type bug. That thing was crawling across my daughter's high chair tray at lightning speed. Upon closer inspection (because everyone wants a closer look at a thing they're pretty sure is about to kill them), I discovered it was a lone red sprinkle, the tiny round kind, that fell off one of those pink and white frosted circus animal cookies.

Needless to say (so I'm saying it anyway), nobody was injured during this briefly terrifying moment.

Goodnight, world.

And then sometimes it's NOT just a colorful tasty sprinkle. Better safe than sorry,I always say. lol

black widow.jpg
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
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On Memorial Day my family and I went to a local amusement park, we go a lot and buy season passes because they are really reasonable and the park is close by. Monday we left the park about 7 PM. That night on the evening news they reported that there was a fight there and someone was stabbed in the neck, this happened about 9pm. I'm glad we missed it. The person who was stabbed isn't cooperating with police, they believe it's gang related. Lately there has been a lot of problems with gun violence in a certain part of town. It makes me sad that these people have no regard for life at all.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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yeah itorethesky warn the world before posting big scary spider pics and maybe link them instead of posting them in the forum for unsuspecting sensitive people to come across.
 
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Tintin

Guest
No worries, Jim. That pup does just fine. Thanks. :)

Cinder, there are so many spiders in Australia and many of them are deadly or at least dangerous. So, I've seen my fair share but I'm still not a fan. But a spider I can see is still better than I spider I can't! :)
 
Sep 6, 2013
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At "the top" restaurant, nestled into the side of a mountain, providing gorgeous views of downtown Taipei.
View attachment 80257
I loved ALL of your pictures, Love, but this one was just breathtaking! What a beautiful view! (And the city lights are nice too!) *cheesy grin* Seriously.... it's amazing. Your trip just fascinates me and I'm so glad you were able to go.

Oh my.... I am seriously going to seek help and stop abusing all this caffeine...
Arlene, your caffeine induced post had me smiling all the way through. You are a gifted writer, and I love the way you see yourself and relate to others. God does have you where you need to be, and he's equipped you with what you need to have to minister to those around you. And sky punching rants are awesome. lol
 
Feb 21, 2014
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I loved ALL of your pictures, Love, but this one was just breathtaking! What a beautiful view! (And the city lights are nice too!) *cheesy grin* Seriously.... it's amazing. Your trip just fascinates me and I'm so glad you were able to go.



Arlene, your caffeine induced post had me smiling all the way through. You are a gifted writer, and I love the way you see yourself and relate to others. God does have you where you need to be, and he's equipped you with what you need to have to minister to those around you. And sky punching rants are awesome. lol
Try tea sometime! :)

Yes the photo looks like it's at the Great Wall of China...

Blessings.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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No worries, Jim. That pup does just fine. Thanks. :)

Cinder, there are so many spiders in Australia and many of them are deadly or at least dangerous. So, I've seen my fair share but I'm still not a fan. But a spider I can see is still better than I spider I can't! :)
I was talking about me not you, I just didn't want to repost the ugly spider pic again by using the reply with quote feature. I hate spiders. And a spider that stays far away and unseen is the best kind of all :)
 
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blueorchidjd

Guest
“Life is a great big beautiful three-ring circus. There are those on the floor making their lives among the heads of lions and hoops of fire, and those in the stands, complacent and wowed, their mouths stuffed with popcorn.

I know less now than ever about life, but I do know its size. Life is enormous. Much grander than what we’ve taken for ourselves, so far.

When the show is over and the tent is packed, the elephants, lions and dancing poodles are caged and mounted on trucks to caravan to the next town. The clown’s makeup has worn, and his bright, red smile has been washed down a sink. All that is left is another performance, another tent and set of lights. We rest in the knowledge: the show must go on.

Somewhere, behind our stage curtain, a still, small voice asks why we haven’t yet taken up juggling. My seminars were like this. Only, instead of flipping shiny, black bowling balls or roaring chainsaws through the air, I juggled concepts.

The world is intrinsically tied together. All things march through time at different intervals but move ahead in one fashion or another.

Though we may never understand it, we are all part of something much larger than ourselves—something anchoring us to the spot we have mentally chosen. We sniff out the rules, through spiritual quests and the sciences. And with every new discovery, we grow more confused.

Our inability to connect what seems illogical to unite and to defy logic in our understanding keeps us from enlightenment. The artists and insane tiptoe around such insights, but lack the compassion to hand-feed these concepts to a blind world.

The interconnectedness of all things is not simply a pet phrase. It is a big “T” truth that the wise spend their lives attempting to grasp.”
― Christopher Hawke
But not to be vague or anything...we know truth.
 
Feb 18, 2013
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I loved ALL of your pictures, Love, but this one was just breathtaking! What a beautiful view! (And the city lights are nice too!) *cheesy grin* Seriously.... it's amazing. Your trip just fascinates me and I'm so glad you were able to go.
Aw shucks Grace, thank you *cheesy grin*


I think my jaw actually dropped when we walked into that restaurant. Between the stunning architecture and design of the open-air restaurant and the scenery of the city, it was like being in a dream.


I'm really glad I got to go, too. I still can't believe it all came together, since I never thought I'd be able to afford it or have the opportunity. I am still amazed at how quick and easy it was to plan and prepare for the trip, and how hassle-free the entire experience was. I've traveled internationally plenty of times, but this was by far the least hectic and most enjoyable of any of those experiences. I do believe God had a hand in making this all come together so seamlessly, and I have thanked Him over and over again. :)

PS- whenever I travel to another culture, I make it a point to at least sample any dish that is offered to me by my hosts, even if it might initially seem unappetizing. I want to experience new things as well as express gratitude through my openness. In some cultures, it's considered rude to refuse food. I carried this same commitment to Taiwan, but I was rather concerned about how I was supposed to maintain my healthy eating habits. Counting calories proved to be difficult since I was eating so much unfamiliar food with ingredients I'd never heard of. I know, most people would just say "forget it, you're on vacation", but in all my brilliance I scheduled an alterations appointment for my bridesmaid dress the week I returned so I felt added pressure to maintain my weight. I thought I was going to somehow gain back all the weight I lost and have my progress be for nothing. -.- to fight it, i watched my portions (most nights, hehe), walked a lot everyday and went running a few times a week. Imagine my joy when I got back home and found that I only gained half a pound. *\(^o^)/*