Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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Yes, that's excellent, Homeward. Good on you for being a loving, godly father. There aren't enough of them in the world.
Thank you Tinten, I am not good, only our Father is, thanks to Christ to show us. And so when renew our minds became a thing as in Romans 12:2, I ask god to show me Gods's way of seeing things not this world's interpretation(s) yet heard listen to all in love and condemn no one, since God chose through Son to not condemn me, and that is not easy at times, yet every time I fail, I get to see was it me that was trying and failed, for if failed it was not of faith in Son to overcome and stay humble. For just as Christ was come up against so shall all Father's children be ridiculed against. And all I as you and many here want, some think not want, yet i think all bottom line do want life everlasting, and it is very hard to Fathom this as a gift, with all the travails we all go through here in this world. So I do not see to hold anyone accountable for anything they do wrong for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=n8CKODunhAs


So i see to work out my own salvation and come to the end of working it out, when i finally see it is all God and God will perform it, when I come to the end of my own energy in trying to do what God has already done for us by Son, and then walk as Christ walked, the old me no longer alive

Romans 5:10
For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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Yes, that's excellent, Homeward. Good on you for being a loving, godly father. There aren't enough of them in the world.
Oh and to be clear, I was a foster Dad, never have had biological Children, yet that did not matter when I was a Foster Dad, I was Dad, didn't matter, and trust me not easy at all
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I have a square canvas that is made so it can be turned into a...thing...shadowbox? Something. It's got brackety deals to hold lighting. Anyway...I've painted more than enough swirly-whirlies for now, and other things that aren't really things that pre-teen girly girls would probably really like. I have no idea yet what to do with this canvas, except that I'd like to do something spectacular. Which is subjective. But! Something. I don't know, I'm highly distractible right now. After looking at the work of local artists, and how subject matter was all pretty much the same, I kinda don't think anyone in the area would particularly care for the kind of paintings I do. Not that it matters. I was just thinking it would be super cool, at some point if I get better at painting, to actually show my work somewhere. But people here appreciate landscapes and wildlife, not oddball designs. I dunno. I'm getting ideas.
When you are ready as you are going along, you then will just flow amazingly, wait watch, hide and see
 
Mar 12, 2014
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Yeah, finally summer has started! On Friday I'll be at the beach with all my friends and I will see again that cute guy ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I think it's an internet joke that's been around for a while. Here's one version of it:

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
Joke to sum, not to all, and all things by themselve are clean and usable, it depends on how one uses it, you think
And it is funny as well, thanks for that sight now we all that still have children can get this and use it as joke or seriously not as a tyrant though?
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I'm giving You fear, and You give faith. I'm giving You doubt, You give me grace.
Isn't that amazing of our heavenly Dad?
For his kindness is meant to lead us to trust him and him only in all things good or bad that happen to us, you think?
[h=1]Titus 2:12New International Version (NIV)[/h][SUP]12 [/SUP]It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I hate decisions. Should I go back to school? College to be a health care aide or wait a year and get into a veterinarian assistant 2 year course. Do I really want to wipe butts, change bed pans, etc for years to come? No no, I don't. But it's a 20 week course with no waiting list. I cannot remain at my job and I am not getting a manager position. There is no reason to stay at such a low wage. I really wish I knew what to do. I took a risk going to the Christian university, went in with blind faith. Even though it has benefited me in many ways, it provided no job and debt. I feel like I made the wrong decision and I don't want to mess up again. So there's pressure, I wish this was easier.
Maybe you are being taught much deeper here than you see right now, and it is frustrating, mistakes take away and bring in regret or we learn from them and end up just to bloom where ever we are planted, maybe?
Not easy to get rid of all those desires to be successful here in this life, seeing greener grass across the street.
When in truth I guarantee this, there septic tank is much bigger
Learning to be content whether poor or rich in money here in this world is the same either way, not being content as The Hebrews after delivered from Egypt, in the sand in tents, waiting on Moses, for a while, got to thinking hey slavery was not so bad, we had been fed lived in much better housing than this, sand at our feet, wind blowing over our tents.
You see we cry for and get and yet still not satisfied wherever we are at.
Just my recent revelation I am seeing as I have been on top, with a lot more___________________ and now on bottom with _____________ still trying to unsettle me.
[h=1]John 16:33New International Version (NIV)[/h][SUP]33 [/SUP]“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Not claiming me to be always content, just learning to be, thanking god in teaching me, you and all who to to trust God and learn to accept whatever position, situation they are in. whether poor in assets, money or not.
Hope you see this this and sister just carry on for god since you believe God has got you i God's improvement program to learn from all things as you go here in this world
For God said he would carry on the good work he started in you from that very first day you decided to believe God
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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Dear God,

My turkey is pretty torqued today. I feel like you keep shaking up my whole world, I guess I'd compare this feeling to what it might be like to live inside a kaleidoscope. I don't know what's real and what's mere illusion. I don't want to keep being spun around. I would gladly give up all the pretty colors just to have some kind of stability.

Lord, nothing makes sense right now. Nothing has made sense for a reeeeally long time. I don't understand Your ways, but I'm trying to believe that You've got this under control. It's particularly difficult to do when I feel so completely OUT of control. You've brought me to my knees so many times in the last few months...

I've been a complete lunatic in front of total strangers- You've stripped me of my pride.
I've wrenched my heart back from those who didn't want it anyway- You've got it to yourself now.
I've handed over my own and my children's lives for you to guide and protect- You've kept me completely off balance ever since.

I don't know how to do this. I don't know what You want. What am I holding back from You? Take it! Whatever it is, it's yours...just please...I've had enough.
And stand, keep standing never give up dependance on the Lord, as the Hebrews released from bondage, camped out by the Red sea and the Egyptians come to take them back, steal, kill and destroy, fear all over them, yelling screaming help.
And read the story, doe God always come through? And what power is shown?
Did the red sea really part and the land dry up mover night? Or are our minds being toyed with?
Did Jesus really do all those miracles or not?
So is God worth the wait all in all or not?
You are being tested by the enemy, as like in Job, when the enemy said no wonder Job won't curse you God. Look at that hedge you have around him, take that down and I bet Christen will curse you?
So you see it is not about if you sin or not, more about whether you will stand through all the pain or not and just believe as Job continued to believe yet sinned just as we all have, but never cursed God, even told his wife, she can but he won't
So all I can say Sister, is stand, never give up on God coming through, as the Hebrews really never did, yet did, that is just a part of our flesh and blood that is not redeemed, that wants it all to just go right, and does not.
Hope and pray this might have helped you in your adversity. For I know God has not left you nor forsaken you and never will
Will you last through it all, and remain steadfast all in all?
I think you will as even if you do ever check out, you seriously will never leave, will you, can you?
It surely is not easy I know, been through it, still going through it as not only you, but all are, whether divorced, married, big house small house, lots of money or not
Did you know Howard Hughes was not happy with all that money? Had no true friends, all they wanted was his money
the owner of General mills committed suicide.
The nice glossy things of this world are really that tree of evil that Adam and Eve ate from
And Christ himself was offered this from the Enemy in the desert to bow down and worship him, and he would give him all the riches of the world.
Love you as you grow deeper into death to self and deeper to just trust no mater what

And if I am not helpful please tell me to stop, I am not here to offend but to kill, as Peter was told Peter kill and eat when he had those three dreams, and ended up at the gentiles house, and God spoke the word through him and even before any water Baptism God by their belief entered into them and killed them to their own selfish ways, made them alive in a totally new way, that this world has taken on to decieve us all, to only see the death and not the new life in Spirit and truth that glories in all tragedies, being content knowing they are no matter what still safe in God, thanks to Son
So can you live above these circumstances?
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,545
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Dear Lord, you know what I need to start applying for my visa. I know you can make it possible. I trust you will make it possible, please Lord, make this happen for me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
I pray you get this Sister, I pray, so go forward and do, yet please understand adversity always rides along in any and everything we do or do not do, It just is what it is. we want, we get and we regret over and over again. Praying for you to walki in contentment as you going to get what you have asked for, all in due time, for your good all in all
Love to you
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,545
496
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Weather: Sunshiny

Outlook: Coffee cup half full

Disposition: Also sunshiny

Currently on my mind:
I think a couple people got the impression from my thread yesterday that I have plans to go back to my ex just because I really believe he's changing this time. I'd like to clear that up- I am not about to uproot my whole life again without proof of a real, lasting change. I've gotten past most of the anger about the timing of this, and I'm happy that he seems to be trying to get his ducks in a row.

But I can't erase from my memory nearly 10 years' worth of...well, everything that happened. Forgive him? Working on it. Go back there without proof that it would be different? No. Besides, quite apart from the fact that I don't want to, he didn't ask.

In other news: I tried...to paint a fairy. Because of the wings, mainly. I thought it would be pretty. However...TRAIN WRECK. I dunno, I really just want to paint over it, but I feel like I should at least finish it first. Gosh I can't wait to take an art class and actually have some idea what I'm doing.
Amazing to me how all this tragedy is working for the greatness of God's amazing love and Mercy, no matter the outcome
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,545
496
83
Weather: Sunshiny

Outlook: Coffee cup half full

Disposition: Also sunshiny

Currently on my mind:
I think a couple people got the impression from my thread yesterday that I have plans to go back to my ex just because I really believe he's changing this time. I'd like to clear that up- I am not about to uproot my whole life again without proof of a real, lasting change. I've gotten past most of the anger about the timing of this, and I'm happy that he seems to be trying to get his ducks in a row.

But I can't erase from my memory nearly 10 years' worth of...well, everything that happened. Forgive him? Working on it. Go back there without proof that it would be different? No. Besides, quite apart from the fact that I don't want to, he didn't ask.

In other news: I tried...to paint a fairy. Because of the wings, mainly. I thought it would be pretty. However...TRAIN WRECK. I dunno, I really just want to paint over it, but I feel like I should at least finish it first. Gosh I can't wait to take an art class and actually have some idea what I'm doing.
You know what Christen, sister, whether you go back or not is not the issue, at least from God's view. The issue is to show you his love to you both and all the world, And I see it happening, just amazing to me, and I am by no means encouraging you to go back or not, this choice is yours, between God and you, and God just stays loving you and him and all no matter what, I am elated that he is beginning the turn around, now we are waiting to see the motive as to why?
Which you will see, I have seen where a man wanted to be back to his wife, and did all the rituals to get back with her and seriously he faked the belief, which i saw and thank God so did she, so stay wise and harmless at the same time, God is working God's mighty work to him as well, it is up to him to truly repent between God and him, and if he does you will know in peace you will know, and still will not have to go back to him, you still have this free choice from God in this all in all
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Now's probably a good time to organize my shelf and get things unpacked and put on there.
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,545
496
83
Ok Coke. The only thing that wakes me up in tired mornings. When coffee doesn't work, there coca-cola as my back up.
I am so elated you refrained to make clear Coca-cola, as coke leadss to other interpretations and is not good for anyone in the long run, been there done that, thanking God no more ever please ever, and God has not forsaken me here ever on this, and I believe God never will
30 years clean and sober and am not proud of it, thankful for it
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,545
496
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I have had my regrets also. As yourself, I am at a crossroad in my life and the pressure is great. There is not much "easier" in this life.

"Once Upon A Time I had a life but then the wheels came off the bus. It crashed through a guardrail and flipped over many times down the embankment. When the smoke cleared the bus looked like a Tonka toy the Jolly Green Giant stepped on just for laughs. Among the survivors were..."
Are you yet seeing to count it as all glory in thankfulness, and praises yet? Pray so that contentment takes hold
 
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persNickety

Guest
Just as I've decided- YES! I am going back to college to be an Health Care Aide as a part time student, called the college found out that I do indeed qualify as a student with a disability status. As soon as I call my old uni to get a transcript. I have my mind set in this. Yes I finally have a direction. I am leaving my job for something else. As soon as that happens, I get a call from head office to set up an interview for a manager position. Now I am at square one at trying to decided what to do lol!
 
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Hoffco

Guest
I have never been here, though I would see the room, just woke up to go to the CR, confort room, Now, I am tired , it is about 1am, going back to bed. My wife was gone to the mountains of her birth. Missed her, I will try to be kinder to her now. God is both good and severe at the same time. Rom.11:22. Love to all Ptr, REV, Doug, Hoffco
 
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MissCris

Guest
Typing sideways on my phone while laying on my face in preparation of sleeping on my face. This is entirely unimportant but I had to see if I could. Answer: yes. I feel like I almost achieved something.