The Banned Game

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J

jennymae

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Being a national leader sure had its side effects. First and foremost was the urge to end up becoming a world leader. Ms Jenny was thinking about her successful (the way she knew the term ‘successful’ ) reign of the great country of Jennymaesia. Probably would the rest of the world be aching for her leadership by now. Just think about it. What about seizing power in the brutal country to the east of Europe? Or in the “Empire du Milieu”? Colonizing the Antarctic? The sky was the limit, and peace is not so precious, like the poet Bjornson wrote.

Having Charles by her side made her invincible. She did not, however, take a liking to the propaganda efforts from Lanolinland and Mosestaria picturing him a sissy. He most certainly was not.

The (great) Chieftain had in a letter (snail mail), warned her against her feminine division. Her chief investigator had been forced to admit that the (great) Chieftain was spot on. The 6’2” lady (“lady”) was in fact not a lady, but rather a big man. What was worse was said lady’s (man’s) plot to dispose of her. Luckily she (he) was now inhabiting a local calabooze.

On SpyLink she could now be watching a crowd of people en route to the Antarctic. “Charles”, she said casually, “why don’t we go to the Antarctic snow desert just for the sake of it?”
 

Lanolin

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Miss Greenlips Hine laughed at the Tik Tok. It was ALMOST as good as Mr Hairy's instas from Shittimstan but not quite in the same meme. In the comments she typed...do the Baby Shark video!!!!

She fwd it to President Lanolin who was making her way back to Lanolinland. I hope those two empresses havent given her a hard time with all their henpecking dramas, involving He who must not be Named. I dont know why he just doesnt make an honest woman of her and marry miss Tizzy. I mean for goodness sakes, put the poor girl out of her misery. She must be hanging on to him for dear life.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder how President Lanolin can stand it. Besides shes got a couple of books to pick up at the library waiting for her. She brewed another kawakawa tea, and got back to her weaving.
 

Lanolin

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SSSSS was a hive of activity, now that Peter Jackson had fixed the clone-o-matic, he had more Santa helpers than ever before. Dame Edna was supervising wardrobe.
Mr Tommy Hulk was doing more scenes, and Titanic 2 had been sent away to be sunk and become a new home for sleeping fish just off the new Giant Barrier Reef. The film was taking shape, and it would not be long before they would be calling on extras to be in the crowd scenes.

More shoe boxes arrived from Megs Pegs Legs and Wigs, filled with an assortment of goodies.
The Clones were recording a Christmas album

As the sea levels rose, and the ice melted, it was time to start planting, and the soon to expired seeds from the seed vault were duly sown in the nursery to provide new forest cover that Antarctica sorely needed. At first, it was just snowdrops and peonies and holly and ivy, but soon evergreen fir, spruce and pine trees saplings appeared. It was all planted and designed according to permaculture principles.

The penguins reserved some land for recreational use, and named it the Christmas Wonderland Dream Park, where they went about making ice sculptures, a skate park, ski lift and toboggan rides, with an underground glow worm crystal cave.

The possums set about interior decorating the ice hotel with warm comfy furnishings. Miss Goodbooks added another wing to the library to accomodate all the new picture books coming through, in all different languages.
And last but not least the Tip Top icecreamery began producing trumpets, choc tops, polar pops and juicies.
 

Lanolin

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Megs asked Lanolin where the other Empresses were. Miss Jenny and Miss Ruby were due for their fittings but they hadnt showed up. It was like they had their hair and makeup done and then just completely forgotten to clothe themselves. Which was very odd.

Lanolin said Miss Jenny had a bad habit of dropping things at the last minute to go off with her latest boyfriend/fiancee (she wasnt sure they were even really engaged) or whatever according to her whims. It never paid to get on the bad side of Miss Jenny, every day was like walking on eggshells with her and she thought Charles might crack one day from the strain of always having to pick up the pieces.

And Miss Ruby?
She's flown off to Eden Island to play pranks on her arch rival Mr Eyeball AGAIN. I can never get her to focus on her task of actually saving her country from being over run by rabbits. It seems like they have won for the time being since she keeps abandoning her duties when she thinks of another brilliant practical joke to play on her neighbour which usually backfires and makes him even angrier.

Oh. Well thats a shame, these gowns are begging to be worn and given the limelight they deserve. Megs held out a green glittering slinky sequinned halterneck with fringing. Perhaps I can alter them to fit my most loyal customer, Dame Edna.

Oh no, you cant do that, and besides, she only really wears mauve.

Keisha overheard the conversation and said she'd like to try one on and Mrs Hairy too. After all she had won the prize at the casino.

Rachel was busy selecting boots for Miss Tizzy. She had obtained the correct shoe size from Miss Greenlips Hine. She said that Miss Tizzy seemed like the kind of gal who could pull off the Nancy Sinatra song in the talent part of the Miss BumBum beauty pageant.
 

Lanolin

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Megs returned to her boutique on land and the Calypso sailed on down through Riveria, the Almafi coast , Venice, through the Suez Canal. the Red Sea and on through the Indian Ocean, following ocean down under toward Byron Bay, where Keisha observed a family of whales along side the ship.

Monsieur Nom De Plume had actually pledged to protect this whale family, by not eating them, said the Red Beanies, and sponsoring their education by sending the young whales off to fishing school.

Really, that does not sound like him said Lanolin. But then again, I suppose its easy to just throw money at things if you have a guilty conscience. At least the whales are no longer dropping out at the beach.

Rachel was keen to get into her swimsuit and go diving near the Giant barrier reef. Having got her Beauty shots on land, she wanted to explore the magnificent coral gardens underwater.

As they neared the coast, with her binoculars, Keisha could see another ship, but it was listing to one side, as if it was sinking. And in the distance, there was a lifeboat with people rowing but it looked like it was going round in circles as if it had no idea which direction to go in.

Er...Captain Costeau?

Oh dont worry about him. That's Monsieur Nom De Plume. He'll figure it out.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
“Well, bless your heart, ma’am…!” Ms Jenny almost pitched a fit whenever hearing how she was being badmouthed on LanoVision. “Henpecking dramas? Walking on eggshells? Bad habits? Charles picking up the pieces?”

Maybe the Chieftain was right? Female brains were wired differently? Leastways one a them brains were, and it sure wasn’t her own brain!

“Don’t pay any attention to what they’re doing”, Charles said comfortingly, “ratings are all that matters in the media world. An Empress and what comes with the territory is a goldmine to the paparazzis.”

“I thought she was to be trusted, Charles, but her media empire is twisting my life into pieces”. Ms Jenny cried a little bit to really get Charles’ attention. “She’s being mean to Ms Ruby too, you know…and she’s portraying you a sissy!”

“I am a sissy clone”, Charles chuckled, “when Ms Tizzy dropped me on the floor my brain took an alternative direction and ventured into the abyss of the feminine universe”.

“But you’re not a sissy now!” Ms Jenny protested. “No, when the South American communists tortured me, my brain got rebooted and made me a man again. An alpha male I may add.”

Ms Jenny’s face went a little redder hearing this, but she just said “what shall we do about the gossiping?”
 

Lanolin

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Megs was sad to hear Lanolin was having a hard time and feeling abandoned by her so-called friends. I thought you Empresses were a tight group, she had said sympathetically.

She had given Lanolin more shoeboxes to take to Antarctica and some of them actually had shoes in them.

You're a gem Megs. said Lanolin.

Well, thats my name backwards.

Oh actually if it was really backwards it would be Sgem

They had laughed. But then Megs had to go return to Harry who needed his suit picked up from the dry cleaners, he had spilled tomato sauce on it again. My husband is so clumsy! But he's adorable. He makes me laugh. Also, if I dont get back to him soon, Archie and Lilibet would have turned the house upside down under his watch.

Lanolin thought that was what she really needed, someone who made her laugh.

She was alone resting in her cabin when Miss Greenlips Hine fwded her the Tik Tok video. It was of The Clones doing the Baby Shark video.
 
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The (Great) Chieftain shook his head frustratedly. There was an island in sight, but the lifeboat was indeed going around and around in circles. This lazy "captain" - and he used the term captain strictly in its naval sense - only seemed to have the capacity to use one oar at a time.

"Both of them, use both oars!" exclaimed the Great Chieftain in exasperation. He managed to restrain himself from concluding his sentence with the words "you nitwit", or something even more derogatory.

The Chieftain quickly recounted the facts that had put his group in this situation. Whilst surveying Eden island with Mordecai's nautical telescope, the intrepid explorers had noticed signs had been erected on the island. The first sign the group had noted - "Dangerous Island, enter at your own risk" - had filled the group, excepting the captain, with excitement, as a little danger could go a long way. The crew knew from personal experience how the (Great) Chieftain had made a hobby of tweaking the nose of Terror, dropping icecubes down the vest of Danger, and flirting with the girlfriend of Risk - in his presence - and thereafter telling her she could do a lot, *lot* better, before leaving the table for Risk to pick up the drinks tab.

The next sign was more of a disappointment - it had read "Strictly vegetarians only".

"Strictly vegtarians? I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means?" asked Mordecai to the Chieftain. "Strong men need a steady diet of animals to keep themselves healthy. Or we'll end up like poor Eagle Two - sissified, and playing with dolls... I'm not sure about women..." he added, looking questioningly across at Tzipora.

"We mainly eat animals for the taste," explained Tzipora. "Although it can help with looks also," she added, with a wave of her beautiful hair.

"Perhaps the islanders consider some animals to be vegetables?" wondered the Chieftain helpfully. "I mean, if chicken is a vegetable, and beef and lamb are... other types of vegetables... I can see myself becoming a vegetarian..."

"What about pig?" asked Tzipora suspiciously.

"Pigs are filthy animals," answered the (Great) Chieftain, hoping the topic of bacon wouldn't come up.

He needn't have worried, as by this time, the fine-print on the sign was now visible. "Must be vaccinated?" asked Mordecai, peering at the sign through his nautical telescope.

Tzipora gasped, and put her hand over her mouth in shock. "That's even worse than being christened!" she managed to exclaim over her shock.

Mordecai nodded. "It is kind of private medical information, isn't it? Like wanting to ban certain kinds of underwear..."

"Well, to be fair, probably, some kinds of underwear should be banned," added the (Great) Chieftain helpfully.

"Yes, but then who is going to police it?" asked Mordecai.

"Look, no one is going to police it. It's just a stupid sign. Like a suggestion," explained the (Great) Chieftain. "I mean, it doesn't even say to be vaccinated with what. Do you know they put animals in vaccines? So obviously, we were right about the vegetarian part - they consider animals to be just different varieties of vegetable".

"I'm not sure," added Tzipora suspiciously. "Does it mention right hands or foreheads?"

"Hmmmmmm. Not that I can see," added Mordecai, before gasping.

"I knew it!" exclaimed Tzipora. "I can't go to this island. It's actively promoting the Mark of the Beast."

"Well, it's not as bad as that," explained Mordecai, "but I can see the Great Chieftain's arch-nemesis on the beach!"

Everyone except the Great Chieftain (and Mordecai - the cousin - who had gasped already) gasped with concern at the mention of the arch-nemesis's presence.

"And she's with... someone who looks exactly like... me!" exclaimed Mordecai.

This time, even the Chieftain had looked startled. Snatching the nautical telescope from Mordecai, he quickly confirmed what the other had reported.

"Rubyland must have developed some sort of cloning technology!" announced the Chieftain worriedly. "Now there are two Mordecais."

"Actually three," responded Mordecai - the Great Chieftain's faithful cousin Mordecai, not the stupid captain Mordecai, who had only been hired as captain because he had a familiar-sounding name.

From this point, the group had decided they probably wouldn't be very welcome on Eden Island, and had decided to row the lifeboat back to the Titanic 2. However, they were only able to sail the icebreaker for several more hours before the explosives aboard the Titanic 2 detonated, and the group had to evacuate again to another island.

This island was protected somewhat by a particularly large reef - Great Barry's Reef, or something similar was what the Chieftain could recollect, as the GPS with accurate place-names had gone down with the Titanic 2. The Great Chieftain was pleased that the island likely was home to someone known as the Great Barry. Finally, he may be able to meet a fellow (great) leader, who would not blame him for poisoning his ancestor with salmonella, or propagandise against the lineage of his favourite warrioress, or didn't know how to conduct even the most basic of femininity checks on his JFD staff...

The Chieftain smiled, as captain Mordecai finally started rowing with both oars, and the lifeboat headed toward the somewhat large, but apparently deserted island.
 

Lanolin

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Dame Edna prepared all the gladioli bulbs for spring planting in her garden at Evereverland.
She and Santa had decided to take a break from busy Antarctica and settle into their estate, which her possums who had stayed behind had been looking after. They were in joint partnership with the koalas. Several colourful cockatoos and rosellas also inhabited the area.

It was to the North of Rubyland in what had been formerly Mosestaria but just below the Big Pineapple. It was close to the Giant Barrier Reef on one side, and a river full of saltwater crocodiles protected it from the outback in which roamed wild dingos, rabbits, giant termites, snakes and prickly pears.

Dame Edna had made a little cul-de-sac Oasis in the surrounding lawless land while Santa sunned himself on the verandah to get his much needed Vitamin D.

Edna waved her magic wand over the gladioli giving them some water and then went out to the courtyard which had a flagpole, the flag of Evereverland was lowered to half mast with the royal ensign out of respect for the Queen. She laid a floral wreath at the foot of the flagpole.

Dear Lord, please help the new King Charles she prayed. I do hope he knows what he's doing.
 

Lanolin

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Keisha was having a great time with the whales and was also keen to go diving the Giant barrier reef with Rachel and the Red Beanies.

Im a good swimmer so I will definitely be up for the part of Ambulance Diver on Shortland Street said Keisha.

Um...I dont think Shortland Street is a floating hospital, at least I dont remember it when I was on it...said Rachel. Hold on, I meant the part was an Ambulance DRiver not diver.

oooh. um..

But you might get to fly an rescue helicopter

Keishas eyes lit up. Yes! I definitely want to do it. How about a part for Mrs Hairy as well?

Um, well. I'm not sure if Shortland Street actually has an veterinary services.

Well its high time it does! Said Keisha, indignantly. I campaigned to save the whales, whats wrong with saving chimps? They need TLC just like us humans.

Ok I'll contact South Pacific Pictures and see what I can do. Rachel zipped up her wetsuit and dove into the ocean with the Red Beanies.
 

Lanolin

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President Lanolin was not a natural water baby and longed to get on to dry land. As they rounded the harbour entrance to Evereverland, Lanolin decided to pay a visit with Mrs Hairy. Hopefully Santa and his new bride will be home.

To her surprise, they were and Dame Edna invited Lanolin and Mrs Hairy over for peppermint tea.

Im afraid my husband is quite exhausted so its best not to disturb him, said Edna.

Lovely home you have here, said Lanolin. Mrs Hairy fanned herself with a banana leaf. She was taken with the Bird of Paradise flowers in the garden and the cockatoos in the phoenix palms.

How is the the tour of Beauty coming along?

Well we are on our last leg, I have to say our Rachel is a real go-getter.

Must be the green hair?

I have no idea, but chlorophyll does seem to have magic properties. How is the filming going?

it was all going smoothly, though the previous tenants of the ice hotel had left it in a bit of a mess, so it was a bit unpleasant. I did manage to have the lighting fixed though.

Oh thats good. I do hope Santa recovers

well, it was rather shocking the state he was in when the penguins found him, but whoever used the clone-o-matic last forgot to install a surge protector...I hate to think what genetic monstrosities they had produced.

oh dear. Would Santa benefit from my ginseng elixir? It works wonders.

Im sure he would be agreeable. He's really been working so hard all year so I have to try and get him to relax. I had feared I married a workaholic.

well being Santa Claus is a huge burden I expect. The Farmers Christmas parade is something we look forward to in Lanolinland every year.


Mrs Hairy signed that she wished Santa would visit Shittimstan next year. She indicated that he would not need to bring any gifts, just himself, and just enjoy his stay. She would take care of everything.

Dame Edna said that is very kind of you Mrs Hairy.

Mrs Hairy beamed.
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
Miss Ruby was glad that the Chieftan and his mistress and baby changed direction and headed elsewhere. The thought of them being on the same island distressed her greatly.

"Looks like they are heading to Barry Island" Mordecai announced.
"Never heard of this island Mordecai. How far away from Eden Island is it" she asked hoping it was at least two thousand kilometers away.

"There's about fifty kilometers of sea between the two islands" Mordecai replied.
"How much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Miss Ruby screamed, fainting at the bad news. Luckily Mordecai was able to catch her. He fanned her face with a palm leaf as she slowly regained consciousness.
"Miss Ruby, you had me terribly worried" Mordecai stated.
Miss Ruby looked at the handsome stranger appreciatively, wondering if she could trust him. After all her previous employee Mr Hulk whom she hired as her bodyguard tried murdering her but obviously did not succeed. He is still ruling Rubyland as we talk but he will be dealt with in good time.
"Thank you Mordecai" Miss Ruby replied wondering whether he too would attempt to murder her.
She asked him as to why he was helping her, after all wasn't he loyal to his cousin the "wicked one"
Mordecai went on to tell Miss Ruby that she had him mistaken. She was talking about Mordecai. Miss Ruby was confused, wasn't he Mordecai. Mordecai went on to tell her that he was indeed called Mordecai, but he was the cousin on the mothers side and the other Mordecai that was loyal to the Chieftan was Mordecai on the fathers side.
Although this did make sense to Miss Ruby, she suggested she call him the nickname of "Morty" He agreed as he was getting rather confused himself at this stage.
Miss Ruby set her computer up to call both Empress's to let them know the latest. Morty went searching for some food as Miss Ruby told the news to Miss Jenny and Miss Lanolin.
 

Lanolin

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Lanolin and Mrs Hairy got back to the Calypso that was now starting on the homeward journey toward Lanolinland.

Rachel and Keisha talked excitedly about what they had seen of the new Giant barrier reef. There was an underwater viewing area of the Calypso with one of the tenders having a glass bottom and Lanolin saw for herself the beautful colours of the coral gardens.

The red Beanies said it was coming along nicely, as they had worked hard on restoring this section for the fish after the old great barrier reef had been bleached by increasing acidification caused by industrial runoff from the cities on the coast. They said told Lanolin that this section was declared a sanctuary by Evereverland and protected in perpetuity. There were no shopping trolleys or plastic garbage patches to be seen, just glorious habitat for marine life.

Lanolin retired to her cabin and had a peaceful uninterrupted sleep dreaming of home.
 

Lanolin

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Miss Greenlips Hine had an alert from Miss Ruby...it was the whereabouts of Bubba, she was not far from her own Eden Island, only 50 kilometres away.

Can you check that shes ok? messaged Miss Greenlips Hine. Ever since Bubba had been snatched away Miss Greenlips Hine had worried about her wherabouts, but there was nothing she could do.

The bill was still unpaid and she hoped the sharks would be able to recover the debt from Miss Tizzy. She had just sent baby sharks though, she didnt want to scare her TOO much. Maybe if worse came to worse, and she had to send the killer whales, He who must not be named would have the opportunity to show her what a sacrificial hero he was.
 

Lanolin

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Miss Goodbooks sorted out her list of 7 finalists for the Lanolin Picture book awards

The throne a royal potty training book
Rachel Hunter's Tour of Beauty
Queen Kong and the seven guinea pigs
I need a new Bum
Ruby's Worry
the first five picture books of Moses
Beauty vs Beast

Miss Goodbooks was unsure whether the first five picture books of Moses could qualify as ONE book or a series. And since it was done manga style, which way was it supoosed to be read? Other than that, there was quite a boom in titles this year and the quality if the finalists and illustrations were in fine form.
Queen Kong and the seven guinea pigs even had furry touch panels and was very tactile.

She sent out the list to every bookshop and library in Lanolinland, hoping parents would make good choices for their children this christmas instead of playing Fortnite until their eyeballs dropped out. I mean whats so great about having a battle royale over your own make believe private island?
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
Miss Ruby informed Miss Lanolin and Miss Jenny of the latest information. Miss Lanolin was glad to know the whereabout of the baby.
Charles who definately was not a sissy informed Miss Ruby that the top Jennymaesian scientists ran the DNA sample that they got from Tzipora and it showed that she was NOT the daughter of Mr Biden. He then told Miss Ruby to sit down as he was aware of her fainting spells when she heard shocking news. Miss Jenny did the same thing. It must be an Empress thing.

Miss Ruby sat down ready to receive the news. Morty at this stage had rejoined Miss Ruby and was wondering what this news would be. Charles went on to inform Miss Ruby that the DNA sample showed that Miss Tzipora had NO father. Instead it had a long serial number of some sort. Charles ran the number through the computer and it showed that Tzipora was indeed a robot of some kind, manufactured by Mr Elon Musk. He produced five of them then sent them out in the world to look an act as human women.

Miss Ruby could feel herself about to faint. Morty got ready to catch her. Miss Jenny also fainted at the news and Charles also caught her.

"That would explain her perfect features and figure" Miss Jenny said as both Empress's regained consciousness.
"No woman is such perfection" Miss Ruby explained. "I thought there was something very peculiar about her" she added.

"It would explain why when she dropped us on our heads, she showed no emotion" Charles said emotionally. "Then she walked to the kitchen and made coffee as though nothing tragic had just occurred. Even the Chieftan looked shocked.
 
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Since coming ashore the Great Barry R Island (which was conveniently located just past the Great Barry R Reef), Moses, Tzipora, Bubba, the good Mordecai (the Great Chieftain's cousin), and the bad Mordecai (the captain with the same name as the Great Chieftain's cousin), had come to realise that the Great Barry R Island was not uninhabited afterall.

It was filled with women wearing bathing costumes, and shirtless men wearing loosely fitting swimming shorts tied around their waists. Most of the natives were wearing hats, and some had even painted their faces, arms and backs with various colours - typically white, but fluorescent yellows, greens and several other colours could also be identified. While the Great Chieftain had scowled at the scant clothing and body paint the savages seemed to be comfortable with, Tzipora had breathed a little easier - "Perhaps feeding Bubba would be simpler amongst such easy-going people?" she wondered.

The natives seemed to speak a foreign dialect, although the four adventurers could detect the vestiges of English within the primitive tongue - "G'day mate", "She'll be roight, mate", "Throw another shrimp on the barbie, mate". Actually, the Great Chieftain admitted he just made that third one up. For want of another term for the native islanders, the crew decided upon the name Barries. Afterall, the island presumably belonged to the Great Barry R and these therefore were his subjects - Barry's or Barries.

Tzipora had seemed to pick up the strange language quite quickly. "Excuse me, errrr, Barry," she had asked one hesitantly.

The native had given her a strange look, than stretched out his hand as in some form of cultural greeting. "Actually, Bruce luv," he replied.

Tzipora looked at his outstretched hand, and then extended her own, which Bruce had grabbed and shaken vigorously. The Great Chieftain and the others had presumed this was some sort of ritual to ensure Tzipora wasn't a demon queen or some other superstitious nonsense that these savages probably believed in.

"What place is this?" asked Tzipora, choosing her words carefully. Bruce looked puzzled.

"What place is this... mate?" Tzipora asked again, remembering the key to speaking this primitive tongue.

Bruce's eyes lit up with understanding. "This Queensland", he said, gesturing downward at the beach with his finger.

"Interesting," noted the Great Chieftain. "So this is now the Queen's land. Probably the Great Barry perished, and his wife took over his estate. Sad, as I was looking forward to meeting him."

"Perhaps the Great Barry was conquered by an enemy Queen, who renamed the land after herself?" teased Tzipora, knowing what the Great Chieftain's reaction would be.

"Nonsense!" exclaimed the Great Chieftain. "If the Great Barry was conquered by said Queen, it would be called the Great Queen's Land, or even perhaps Greater Queen's Land, not simply Queen's Land."

However, as Tzipora conversed more with the native, the Great Chieftain quickly found somewhere isolated where he could determine the true facts of the matter via his phone. Before however, he was able to use his phone to determine the truth of the matter, he realised he hadn't been keeping up on events as far as his arch-nemesis was concerned, nor as far as his part-time nemesis and potential future in-law, if she really had been able to repair poor Eagle Two. The Great Chieftain opened up the International Spy Vision app on his phone, just in time to see Miss Jenny faint.

He was quite impressed with how Eagle Two managed to gently catch Miss Jenny before she touched the floor, and even more-so impressed by his methodology of reviving her - he had to squint, just to make sure that it really was Eagle Two and not another clone. "That poor part-time nemesis is suffering Snow-White syndrome", the Chieftain thought to himself. "But I must say, she's doing an amazing job with Eagle Two. Judging by the way he revived her, I wouldn't even guess he was... defective."

The Great Chieftain then saw his arch-nemesis walk into the scene, and heard the suitably revived Miss Jenny start talking.

"That would explain her perfect features and figure" Miss Jenny had said.

The Chieftain nodded. "They're talking about my warrioress," he thought proudly. "She was right about them being jealous."

"No woman is such perfection" Miss Ruby explained.

The Chieftain nodded. "No woman except *my* warrioress," he told himself proudly. He suddenly realised he was being somewhat possessive over the Japovian. "No matter," he thought.

"I thought there was something very peculiar about her" his arch-nemesis added.

The Chieftain rolled his eyes. "Nothing peculiar about being perfect," he smiled.

"It would explain why when she dropped us on our heads, she showed no emotion" Eagle Two said emotionally.

The Chieftain nodded knowingly. The sissy-clone was coming back, with those useless emotions and selfish complaints about being dropped on his head, when it was only for his own good. The sissy clearly needed some more of the medicine Miss Jenny was obviously administering to him. The Chieftain would have to write a letter to Miss Jenny. A please-and-thankyou letter. Please continue the treatment, and thankyou for the improvements you have effected thus far."

It was at that point, something terrible happened. Mordecai - not the good Mordecai, or even the bad captain Mordecai of the same name, but the *other* Mordecai - the cousin on the mother's side of the good Mordecai, also known as Morty - displayed on his International Spy Vision phone app. And he was with the Great Chieftain's arch-nemesis, behaving as if they were friends...
 

Lanolin

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Clones and fembots!

Miss Greenlips Hine read the latest dossier on the cult origins of Mosestaria. Her top guinea pigs hackers had uncovered SSSS information on both He who must not be Named and his evil mistress.

Code Name : Moses Young
self styled 'evil genius' 'great chieftain' 'prophet' he suffers from religious delusion and must not be approached. His bible is the first five books of Moses which he reads backwards, due to severe dyslexia subverting the original story into one of chaos and mayhem. As nobody will willingly join his evil cult, he reverts to cloning to recruit members.

Code Name: Miss Tzipora
evil mistress and fembot
Moses uses this fembot as his 'side kick' concubine and general scapegoat. Anything going wrong in his evil plan he will attribute to her. Kept captive, she makes him look good to outsiders, especially from the rear.

Methods of world domination - seduction of Empresses to steal their Queendoms via clones. Clones designed to self-destruct on December 25 with heart failure.

Miss Greenlips Hine was horrified. Should she fwd to President Lanolin and disturb her cruise holiday? She filed the dossier under 'wicked empires' and made herself another kawakawa tea to calm herself down. The kawakawa tree looked a bit denuded and needed some time to recover having being picked clean of leaves.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
By golly! Ms Jenny couldn’t believe her eyes or ears nor nose. She had received a perfumed letter (to be honest the scents from the envelope probably was some sort of kerosene residue from the senders hands) from a postal code in Antarctica. It was signed by (the great) John Doe.

He felt much obliged to her for keeping a straying man on the narrow path. Her methods seemed a bit drastic but not at all unpleasant. He encouraged her to keep up the good work and praised the true power of femininity.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Rachel received comfirmation from South Pacific Pictures that Keisha was wanted as an ambulance driver and Mrs Hairy was to play their first ever chimp patient.
They were to report to the Shortland Street set in a weeks time.

Unfortunately Miss Tizipora was rejected for the part of evil abortionist and clone doctor because she did not have any acting credentials, a Lanolinland visa and, even if she were to play such a story line, it could only be a week or two at most, as they were obliged to kill off evil villainesses by having her catch monkey pox, ebola, shingles or a combintion of all three which necessitated lots of makeup to put sores all over her body.

Huh said Rachel, well at least the Kardashians arent objecting to the get up I've got planned for Miss BumBum. And this year its going to be held in Queensland. What luck! . She can easily pass for an Ocker.

Lanolin was sitting at the captains table finishing her shrimp cocktail. Im sorry whats this about Miss BumBum? I havent been following.

Miss Tzipora, the nanny goat who dumped then stole Bubba. Who claims she cant afford childcare. Well she'll have to earn to pay her debt to us by putting her infamous butt on TV!

oh..well I'm sure that will please Mr what's his face. I really dont know why he just doesnt pay the bill.

Cos he's a lazy bum thats why! said Rachel.