The Banned Game

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T

TheWriter

Guest
I ban Barney the Dinosaur. Not only is he scary, he is purple and gives me nightmares which makes Freddy Kruger look like a walk int he park.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Miss Goodbooks had just put in her library order for the NEW Revised Updated version of the Jennymaesian Picture Dictionary, compete with online audio for those difficult to pronounce words.

She also packed 50 copies of Prince Harry's Spare Tyre book in the boot of a car to be sold at her local churches car boot sale, to raise money for charity.

The charity was 'buy THIS book and give the money to the library to buy OTHER books' so the library could keep running.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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Whats left to ban Kevin? asked President Lanolin

Well we have this new fulla named TheWriter who has an aversion to Barney the Dinosaur.

TheWriter eh? What has he written? Poetry? Drama? A Play?

I think he just writes letters to the editor. Mostly complaints saying Barney is too purple.

Hmm Miss Ruby may not like that. Next thing he'll be saying her crocodiles are too green and her rubies are too red. Should we ban him?

Nah I want to see what else he writes....
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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Kevin sometimes watched Coronation Street. It had been running for donkeys years. This time the latest episode showed some kind of military parade down the length of the street and a couple being given funny hats on what looked like special chairs that Santa sat on in the mall. They then rode off on horses. Some of the horses looked suspiciously like unicorns

A love story for the ages? It was a very odd episode and Kevin had to make sure that it was really Coronation Street he was watching and not some other show. He put on his glasses.

What is this ...who are these people? They spoke soom kinda foony accent that was unfamiliar but they all ended up at Rovers Return in the end.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Donkeys were banned on Coronation Street, they were banned for being too slow.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Miss Goodbooks, instead of banning books from the library decided to ban people instead, If you came to the library and werent reading a book in there, making rude noises, annoying others or farting, you got banned.
 
Sep 15, 2019
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Banning the poster below, for breaching her own rule regarding the wearing of chickens on heads.

2.jpg
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Miss Goodbooks looked up from reading her new copy of 'There is a bird on your head' by Mo Willems in the Parliamentary Library.

She could see the pigeons flying around the Beehive waiting to deposit something on their targets

bprrrbt brrrpbt they said

President Lanolin looked outside her window of the Beehive, beyond the hanging baskets of calibrachoa

What is it this time? Dont tell me those baby-killing eagles from Mosestaria have returned! I thought I sent them home to roost. Miss Greenlips Hine! Can you explain this?
 
Sep 15, 2019
9,991
5,546
113
Banning President Lanolin for misidentifying chickens with baby-killing eagles.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Miss Greenlips Hine came rushing down the corridor. Its just the chickens on the loose President Lanolin. She said apologetically.

I let them have free-range of the Beehive. They lay better that way.

Oh ok said President Lanolin.

Miss Goodbooks observed that Miss Ruby and he who must not be named both had lovebirds on their heads. She was sure that Mo Willems had plagiarised his latest story from the facebook news that was going round...that Miss Ruby and He who must not be named (aka Mr Eyeball) were now an item.

At last! She thought. I always knew those two would finally see eye to eye and beak to beak.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Just offshore of Lanolinland was an island called Quarantine Island where everything that got banned was sent.

Miss Greenlips Hine did a flyover one day in her Cessna and saw that the island was now teeming with dogs, squirrels, giant rabbits, donkeys, baby killing eagles, crocs, and high heel shoes. There was also a tide ring of plastic bags surrounding the island. Barney the dinosaur was also there, and Godgsirls excalibur banning device.

Jacinta was the landlady of the island. She had big plans to turn it into a party resort like Ibiza where you could go and enjoy everything that was banned in other places.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
sha la la la la
sha la la in the morning
sha la la la. la sha la la in the sunshine...sang Jacinta.

It was a beautiful day on Quarantine Island and Jacinta was feeling so happy that she burst into song. Who knew what the day would bring with the next shipment of contraband items? Jacinta wasnt normally into drugs, but she felt her island would be a good place for them as any.

she unwrapped a parcel of Kinder surprises and had them for breakfast. They had been banned in Dixieland as a choking hazard.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Mr and Mrs Santa Claus were happy staying in Shittimstan with their new houses in New Everland, which had now become an exclusive gated community. The gates were up to keep the squirrels out.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
Ms Jenny felt quite down and out. In fact she was down and out. Not even George Orwell could have described her current position better. Out of office, out of castle and out of touch with reality. Yet here she was, trying to figure out the direction of her banning.

Ban # 1

The President of Lanolinland. How much grief she had accumulated over the years on the account of that president. The book laden President had never let go of a chance to put Ms Jenny down intellectually, and academically speaking.

Ban # 2

The evil ruler of Mosestaria. He had more than once put her on ice, both figuratively and literally.

Ban # 3

The so-called fiancé. Charles. A good looking womanizer and traitor. Funded by the Antarctic mockery government. Good riddance, she said out loud to nobody in particular.

Ms Jenny giggled softly going about with her banning list. It was just too bad that she couldn’t pay for gasoline, so her battered old generator wasn’t able to power up her trailer. The ‘lectric company had cut off her power due to the overdue bills and had even threatened her with eviction. Everything was bad and unfair. A candle light was all she had left and there was a Copperhead living under her trailer.

Oh, why hadn’t she listened to her mother and pursued a career as a fashion designer? Just like old Reese in “Legally Blonde”?

😂
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Miss Greenlips Hine saw that President Lanolin had been made number 1. The results of the banned list had been published.

Congratulations You're number 1!
President Lanolin could hardly believe it. I what?

You're number 1 on the banned list! That means you won the Banned Game!

Oh, what do I win? I didnt even know I entered. I thought that was just a thing we did to pass the time.

Um...Im not sure what the prize is, let me check. Miss Greenlips Hine checked, and said that President Lanolin had been made honorary member of Reese Witherspoons Lucky Book Club. And she had won some Whisky in a teacup and a copy of Sweet Home Alabama.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Jacinta finished her Kinder Surprise breakfast and eagerly awaited the next mail delivery of contraband items. She was still in a good mood

If hes gone for some time I know I reallly love him..she sang
Shout it sweet in a song, listen to your heart it is singing....
Sha la la la la

Just then a package arrived on her doorstep, bearing ominous air holes.

Jacinta clapped her hands and got out her scissors to cut the tape and plastic bands that kept the box together. She opened up the box and gasped.

Aw...how cute.
It was furry cat with pointy ears. It stared up to Jacinta with its big green eyes.

You are so cute! Im going to call you...Lynx.