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Lanolinlanders have cut ties with Shittimstanians, so no more dropout guinea pigs will be going over there anymore.
Also rumour was heard that Shittimastanians are still testing raspberry lipsticks on the guinea pigs and there are many fatalities. Wheras the carrot stick educated guinea pigs in Lanolinland report a high level on the Happiness and Wellbeing index, plus their eyesight has improved immensely on a diet of carrots.
We had a rescued guinea pig brought back to shittimistan, his rescuers got him before he drank himself to oblivion, just look at that beer belly !
Your claim of happiness in the gulnea pig community may be fake news...
really he looks like an escapee from Shittimstan who ate too much lipstick as we heard it was fattening
Our carrot juice is not fermented, its 100% pure
also, Lanolinland is an island nation so the guinea pigs cannot just climb a wall to get into Shittimstan
Breaking: Jennymaesian Empress' excuse for threatening to conduct military exercises in full view of Mosestarian children - "I didn't know!"
Officials in charge of Mosestarian external affairs have disputed this claim, with one anonymous source claiming the Empress expressly stated in one secret imperial meeting "I don't care if I have to destroy 100 Mosestarian kindergartens, I want to annex that empire!"
More fake news coming from the Mosestaria media.
The empress is not a violent leader and does not wish to blow up kindergartens. In fact a certain amount of her lipstick sales goes towards building kindergartens so why would she want to blow them up King Moses otherwise known as Elvis Parsley hence the green lipstick.
More fake news coming from the Mosestaria media.
The empress is not a violent leader and does not wish to blow up kindergartens. In fact a certain amount of her lipstick sales goes towards building kindergartens so why would she want to blow them up King Moses otherwise known as Elvis Parsley hence the green lipstick.
Well, thank goodness for that. I was beginning to think my city planning scheme of lining the Mosestarian border with kindergartens may not have been as strategic as I had originally anticipated.
As for Elvis Parsley, I had some of my Official Mosestarian Guard locate him at one of the local taverns, and bring him into custody. He had the following to say in relation to the Rubylander propaganda machine which invoked his name: "Thank you... Thank you very much..." I believe he was being sarcastic, as his incarceration involved the interruption of one of his gigs. However, it could be sincere, as the arresting officers reported that his audience didn't look unhappy when they escorted him away from the premises.
I am glad that you have informed us that Elvis has been arrested. It will make it easier for the Rubyland army to now overtake the Mosestarian country. We are armed with our lipstick missiles. It should be a breeze. Once I overtake I can pull down the wall that divides us. I have big plans. I may need some coffee.
I am glad that you have informed us that Elvis has been arrested. It will make it easier for the Rubyland army to now overtake the Mosestarian country. We are armed with our lipstick missiles. It should be a breeze. Once I overtake I can pull down the wall that divides us. I have big plans. I may need some coffee.
But what about the historical lesson of the Empress of Luciania? Aren't you worried about your lips? What if your lipstick missiles conveniently malfunction, come down upon the lips of your own people (or the people of Jennymaesia?) and you are subsequently exorcised from the presidency by disgusted Rubylanders? Do you really want to throw it all away?
If not for yourself, think about all the Mosestarian kindergarteners you would be putting at risk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I think I am now beginning to see why they call you La Madame Guillotine.
Breaking: Jennymaesian Empress' excuse for threatening to conduct military exercises in full view of Mosestarian children - "I didn't know!"
Officials in charge of Mosestarian external affairs have disputed this claim, with one anonymous source claiming the Empress expressly stated in one secret imperial meeting "I don't care if I have to destroy 100 Mosestarian kindergartens, I want to annex that empire!"
Quite the contrary, Mr Chieftain. The Empress was not aware that the empire of Mosestaria actually is a kindergarten. All hostilities against the empire of Mosestaria is hereby ceased and there is now a ceasefire agreement ready for the kindergarten teacher to sign. The Empress will now reallocate her resources and annex another empire. 😇😄
We had a rescued guinea pig brought back to shittimistan, his rescuers got him before he drank himself to oblivion, just look at that beer belly !
Your claim of happiness in the gulnea pig community may be fake news...
Something is obviously wrong here- the fermented carrot juice is a detriment to the health and well being of the guinea pigs, and being the national drink of Jamaica AND Lanolinland needs to be studied.
its seems a bit weird that Shittimstanians are accusing Lanolinlanders of making fake news and then Shittimstanians make up fake news of their own.
While testing makeup on their own guinea pigs...?!
Seems suss.
Notice that the Shittimstanians claim a beer belly on their guinea pig. But actually that guinea pig is just pregnant from looking cutesy at another guinea pig, something Shittimstanians are good at.