The Banned Game
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The clever Lanolinland guinea pig hacking team found someone selling these on consignment on etsy through an anonymous dealer as 'Edible Lip Glue'
It comes in all colours and flavours. President Lanolin was at first reluctant to allow imports, but the carrot flavoured and coloured one was so popular that it quickly sold out among the guinea pigs. Apparently they were made in Japovia, which has now mysteriously vanished and liquidated all its stock except for these remaining edible lip glues that are now becoming collectors items.
It comes in all colours and flavours. President Lanolin was at first reluctant to allow imports, but the carrot flavoured and coloured one was so popular that it quickly sold out among the guinea pigs. Apparently they were made in Japovia, which has now mysteriously vanished and liquidated all its stock except for these remaining edible lip glues that are now becoming collectors items.
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The Empress smiled sweetly and said to her strikingly perfect significant other “Darlin’, why don’t we go out celebrating my release?” The husband, the well dressed agent and former womanizer, Jomés Band, nodded with a peculiar and hesitant look on his face. “My lady, please don’t take this the wrong way, but there’s an ugly rumor pending saying that your abduction was staged and performed by your allies in Rubyland and that Countess Karen in fact is Madame President’s grandmother.” The Empress looked at him in utter disbelief. Her chin fell down and she didn’t say a word for a period of time that seemed like an eternity. “But darlin,” she finally managed to whisper, her voice trembling, “that can’t be, Madame President is my friend.”
The fabulous Mr Band chuckled silently. “My lady, surely you remember that the two of you joined forces and invaded Mosestaria?” The Empress mumbled something that could be heard as a “yes”. “Well”, Mr Band went on, “if you take a look at post #1,421, you will see that Rubyland has taken over Mosestaria without mentioning Jennymaesia at all”.
The Empress read the post which clearly stated that the only one ruling Mosestaria was now Madame President.
She stuttered weakly, “B-but, why?” Mr Band produced an overbearing smile. “My lady, Rubyland is your true enemy. Mosestaria would never put you in harms way. I expect Countess Karen and Madame President to invade your country at dawn tomorrow”. The Empress pondered this carefully. Then she alarmed her security detail. “Take this man into custody. He will be facing the music at dusk”. Mr Band’s face went white. “How did you know that I was setting you up?”
The fabulous Mr Band chuckled silently. “My lady, surely you remember that the two of you joined forces and invaded Mosestaria?” The Empress mumbled something that could be heard as a “yes”. “Well”, Mr Band went on, “if you take a look at post #1,421, you will see that Rubyland has taken over Mosestaria without mentioning Jennymaesia at all”.
The Empress read the post which clearly stated that the only one ruling Mosestaria was now Madame President.
She stuttered weakly, “B-but, why?” Mr Band produced an overbearing smile. “My lady, Rubyland is your true enemy. Mosestaria would never put you in harms way. I expect Countess Karen and Madame President to invade your country at dawn tomorrow”. The Empress pondered this carefully. Then she alarmed her security detail. “Take this man into custody. He will be facing the music at dusk”. Mr Band’s face went white. “How did you know that I was setting you up?”
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Our great plan worked Empress. You were the brains behind it. We managed to set up 0007 and put an end to the Mosterian empire. The land is now ours. The wicked ruler is confined to a damp mouldy bunker where he is fed stale yellow banana lipstick and has Hairy for company.
Your lipstick produce and my mascara produce is shipped around the world and we now supply women worldwide. All other cosmetic companies have gone bankrupt. Lanolinland supplies us with guinea pigs and rabbit security guards and they do a fine job. They are trained with weapons and shoot first and ask questions later. We need to continue to be cautious though as I have a feeling that that wicked Mosestarian leader will try to surface again. Who knows what he has planned next??
Your lipstick produce and my mascara produce is shipped around the world and we now supply women worldwide. All other cosmetic companies have gone bankrupt. Lanolinland supplies us with guinea pigs and rabbit security guards and they do a fine job. They are trained with weapons and shoot first and ask questions later. We need to continue to be cautious though as I have a feeling that that wicked Mosestarian leader will try to surface again. Who knows what he has planned next??
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There was a knock, followed by an "Uhhh... Excuse me, sir...", before the head and face of a wise man appeared from the door to the luxury bathroom aboard the Mosestarian plane. Another man, seated amidst a nearly overflowing bubble-bath spa, looked over his newspaper to listen to the newcomer.
"What is it Mordecai?" asked Moses.
"Bad news, I'm afraid, sir," replied Mordecai.
"Did Countess Karen escape?" asked Moses.
"No sir. She's still constrained and dangling over the cauldron full of molten, banana-flavoured, green-lipstick, awaiting your interrogation."
"Oh, well, is the Empress of Jennymaesia expecting twins?" guessed Moses.
"Worse sir", replied Mordecai.
Moses lowered his newspaper a little. "What then, man? Don't keep me guessing all morning."
"It's one of our own, sir", the other continued. "Mordechai, a member of our order that you excommunicated recently for his... folly... has further sunk into foolishness..."
Moses raised his eyebrows.
"He has fallen in love with a Jennymaesian..." the wise man continued.
Moses the Youngest rolled his eyes, and waved his hand dismissively. "Best of luck to him. Those shapely, Ruby-red lips that Jennymaesians are renowned for could entice the hearts of all but the stoutest and most disciplined of men..."
"There's more, sir. The Jennymaesian he's fallen for... She's a heroine. It is said that she’s as beautiful as the diamonds of the seas when the sun is twinkling where it meets the blue, blue water..."
Moses had started reading his newspaper again. "Very poetic. She sounds quite lovely, I'm sure", he answered disinterestedly.
"Sir, she has sworn on the soul of her dead mother not to rest until she has routed out the secret whereabouts of the 'Mosestarian ruler'. And it may well be that our treachurous Mordechai is the key which opens the door of her dangerous fantasy".
"I guess we will just have to establish a new base of operations then, won't we?" Moses the Youngest replied cheerfully.
"And what of the happy couple? Was Mr Band pleased to receive his lovely bride back from the terrorists?" continued Moses the Youngest, eager to change the subject to something more important.
"Well sir, bad news on that front, also" replied Mordecai. "Apparently, the Empress has summoned a security detail to arrest her own husband for treason. But he in turn has asserted that it is she who is committing treason, by attempting to have her Emperor arrested..."
Moses the Youngest sighed. "Spoiled royalty have nothing else to worry about, I guess..." he interjected mockingly.
"The situation is unprecedented," Mordecai continued. "Jennymaesian officials don't know what to do about it... Half the Jennymaesian security are siding with the Empress, and the other half with the Emperor, who is quite popular already. It's an issue that is threatening to split the nation. And to top it off, there are rumours the Countess has arranged for Rubylander forces to invade the country as early as tomorrow."
Moses the Youngest folded his open newspaper, and threw it down beside the spa. "I will speak to you in the interrogation room in 15 minutes, Mordecai. It appears there is still some work to be done."
"What is it Mordecai?" asked Moses.
"Bad news, I'm afraid, sir," replied Mordecai.
"Did Countess Karen escape?" asked Moses.
"No sir. She's still constrained and dangling over the cauldron full of molten, banana-flavoured, green-lipstick, awaiting your interrogation."
"Oh, well, is the Empress of Jennymaesia expecting twins?" guessed Moses.
"Worse sir", replied Mordecai.
Moses lowered his newspaper a little. "What then, man? Don't keep me guessing all morning."
"It's one of our own, sir", the other continued. "Mordechai, a member of our order that you excommunicated recently for his... folly... has further sunk into foolishness..."
Moses raised his eyebrows.
"He has fallen in love with a Jennymaesian..." the wise man continued.
Moses the Youngest rolled his eyes, and waved his hand dismissively. "Best of luck to him. Those shapely, Ruby-red lips that Jennymaesians are renowned for could entice the hearts of all but the stoutest and most disciplined of men..."
"There's more, sir. The Jennymaesian he's fallen for... She's a heroine. It is said that she’s as beautiful as the diamonds of the seas when the sun is twinkling where it meets the blue, blue water..."
Moses had started reading his newspaper again. "Very poetic. She sounds quite lovely, I'm sure", he answered disinterestedly.
"Sir, she has sworn on the soul of her dead mother not to rest until she has routed out the secret whereabouts of the 'Mosestarian ruler'. And it may well be that our treachurous Mordechai is the key which opens the door of her dangerous fantasy".
"I guess we will just have to establish a new base of operations then, won't we?" Moses the Youngest replied cheerfully.
"And what of the happy couple? Was Mr Band pleased to receive his lovely bride back from the terrorists?" continued Moses the Youngest, eager to change the subject to something more important.
"Well sir, bad news on that front, also" replied Mordecai. "Apparently, the Empress has summoned a security detail to arrest her own husband for treason. But he in turn has asserted that it is she who is committing treason, by attempting to have her Emperor arrested..."
Moses the Youngest sighed. "Spoiled royalty have nothing else to worry about, I guess..." he interjected mockingly.
"The situation is unprecedented," Mordecai continued. "Jennymaesian officials don't know what to do about it... Half the Jennymaesian security are siding with the Empress, and the other half with the Emperor, who is quite popular already. It's an issue that is threatening to split the nation. And to top it off, there are rumours the Countess has arranged for Rubylander forces to invade the country as early as tomorrow."
Moses the Youngest folded his open newspaper, and threw it down beside the spa. "I will speak to you in the interrogation room in 15 minutes, Mordecai. It appears there is still some work to be done."
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The security detail cuffed Mr Band safely and deposited him in a holding cell. Now, you may wonder why I refer to him as Mr Bond, and not the Emperor? Well, to be honest, the Empress is very much like her honorable colleague Lillibeth in London. Her husband doesn’t get to be a King, nor an Emperor. Neither does the Empress’ husband. There will be no division of power in Jennymaesia. The rumors claiming that Mr Band is supported by half of my security is alternative facts.
The Empress got Madame President on the phone. “Dear Madame President. How are you doing today? And how are your family doing? My people would like me to pray for your country and for Madame President. The sweet scents of your precious country are always highly regarded in Jennymaesia.” Madame President likewise went through the diplomatic drill and the Empress said: “You we’re right, the sub has surfaced.” The President sighed. “You know his whereabouts?” “My intelligence told me that he is en route to a black site in what they used to call Mosestaria. Probably going to plot a scheme and try to seize power.” The President went silent for a moment. “He’s on a jet?” The Empress could confirm that.
After some gossiping about Mr Band, Mordecai and the Mosestarian ruler, Hairy and his wife and the Queen of Lanolinland, mixed in with some makeup news and a little “aww-ing” about their new dresses, the two powerful ladies decided to scramble their stiletto fighters to force the Mosestarian Air Force .05 down.
The Empress got Madame President on the phone. “Dear Madame President. How are you doing today? And how are your family doing? My people would like me to pray for your country and for Madame President. The sweet scents of your precious country are always highly regarded in Jennymaesia.” Madame President likewise went through the diplomatic drill and the Empress said: “You we’re right, the sub has surfaced.” The President sighed. “You know his whereabouts?” “My intelligence told me that he is en route to a black site in what they used to call Mosestaria. Probably going to plot a scheme and try to seize power.” The President went silent for a moment. “He’s on a jet?” The Empress could confirm that.
After some gossiping about Mr Band, Mordecai and the Mosestarian ruler, Hairy and his wife and the Queen of Lanolinland, mixed in with some makeup news and a little “aww-ing” about their new dresses, the two powerful ladies decided to scramble their stiletto fighters to force the Mosestarian Air Force .05 down.
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The wicked ruler of Mosesteria was seething in anger. He could not believe that he had been outwitted by the alliance of Jennymaesia and Rubyland. Of course quite frankly it was not hard to do. All we needed was a beautiful woman who wore red ruby lipstick and an advanced army armed with all the latest lipstick missiles. Our spies and intelligence were highly trained and were able to give us all the necessary information when needed.
His team were no match for us, in fact most of his team have left his side and are members of our great military. The only one that remains is faithful Mordecai. In fact they are cousins so poor Mordecai is bound to remain. Poor, poor guy.
Meanwhile the Empress has ditched that trader loser husband of hers who has the cheek to call himself Emperor. We have seen him trying to swim across the river that partly surrounds Rubyland so we fed him to the crocodiles. Only his shoes remain. We will post them to the wicked Mosterian leader to show him what happens to the enemies of our alliance.
I would think he is beginning to accept his fate now, knowing that he will never rule and reign over Mosesteria again. In fact the Empress and I are in the process of changing its name. I am thinking maybe Jennby or some combination of our names
His team were no match for us, in fact most of his team have left his side and are members of our great military. The only one that remains is faithful Mordecai. In fact they are cousins so poor Mordecai is bound to remain. Poor, poor guy.
Meanwhile the Empress has ditched that trader loser husband of hers who has the cheek to call himself Emperor. We have seen him trying to swim across the river that partly surrounds Rubyland so we fed him to the crocodiles. Only his shoes remain. We will post them to the wicked Mosterian leader to show him what happens to the enemies of our alliance.
I would think he is beginning to accept his fate now, knowing that he will never rule and reign over Mosesteria again. In fact the Empress and I are in the process of changing its name. I am thinking maybe Jennby or some combination of our names
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The emancipated rabbits in Jennyby are clamouring for equal rights, I've heard. It will be interesting to see how Rubyland deals with those who are still loyal to the former mosetarian regime. Not that there are many, but there could be pit falls and land mines as Jennyby adjusts to the 'new normal'. They must be suffering from stockholm syndrome I gather.
The lanolinland Guinea pigs hackers report that there had been a surge of ads on the bunny singles sites advertising for online order rabbit brides, wanting to leave the country. We dont want to be inolved with any kind of bunny trafficking, but it seemed former Mosetaria was at the heart of the golden triangle of bunny smuggling.
The lanolinland Guinea pigs hackers report that there had been a surge of ads on the bunny singles sites advertising for online order rabbit brides, wanting to leave the country. We dont want to be inolved with any kind of bunny trafficking, but it seemed former Mosetaria was at the heart of the golden triangle of bunny smuggling.
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"Sir, we have bogies inbound approaching Airforce 0.05!" the first officer's voice in the bathroom intercom interrupted the Mosestarian chieftain (may his name long be remembered, and his enemies' dynasties end childlessly) as he was drying his beard, but before he'd had chance to interrogate the captured terrorist Countess Karen.
Of course, it was called Airforce 0.05 as it was the detachable, unneeded portion of the rest of Mosestaria's technological wonder for transporting its leader in times of crisis - Airforce 0.95. Leaders of other nations, particularly the Jennymaesian Empress and the terrorist leader residing in the badlands formerly known as Rubyland, often joked about Airforce 0.05 as being small, useless and totally inadequate for the safe-keeping of any leader - especially such an illustrious and charismatic leader as the Mosestarian chieftain - which it was, but unbeknownest to these, this was not Airforce 0.05's purpose. The purpose of this remotely controlled component was actually to be a separable and expendable decoy for Airforce 0.95 - and this job it did admirably.
"Six bogies identified as Stilletto fighters on an intercept vector with Airforce 0.05", updated the first officer over the bathroom intercom.
A brief smirk passed over the Mosestarian's chiefdom's face, but it might have been interpreted by onlookers less astute to the Chieftain's body-language as a short but angry seethe. He secretly enjoyed the thought that the alliance of Jennymaesia and Rubyland believed that it could outwit him, although he also knew that their endeavour was as likely to succeed as Jane Goodall's admittance into the Gombe Stream chimpanzee troupe had of producing the first chimp chess Grandmaster.
"Keep those Stilleto fighters busy, first officer", replied the Chieftain over the intercom. "Detour them all the way to Lanolinland over the sea if you need to. They'll be an outrage there, if they cause any environmental damage with their warmongering. Meanwhile, hold our course steady."
Mordecai, his faithful cousin, was waiting in the interrogation room when the Chieftain entered. Countess Karen was bound hand and foot, precariously dangling from a rope over a cauldron of molten green lipstick, with some pieces of melted car-tyre added in to spike the mixture. The rope the Countess was dangling from was in turn affixed to an automated pulley.
As Countess Karen slowly rotated on her rope to face the Mosestarian Chieftain, even his poker-face could not totally hide his disgust. To say that she was less beautiful than the ugly Shittimistanian duckling would have been an understatement. In previous, less kind ages, she might even have featured as a circus-star based on her gender and the quantity of facial hair she had growing.
"So we meet at last, Countess Karen", the Mosestarian chieftain began.
"Moses the Young(er)" the countess spat back, in a hoarse and husky voice. "It's too late! I have already started the war. You can do nothing to stop what is coming!"
Moses the Youngest rolled his eyes, or at least, he would have, were he not trying to keep a poker-face. Of course nothing can stop what is coming, because even if it does, the other will claim that what was not coming was in fact what was actually coming, and that it came because nothing could have stopped it, just as foretold.
"You really should cut down on the smoking, Karen", answered the Chieftain. "You know they say it can age you beyond your years?"
"Is that why you kidnapped me?" snapped the countess. "To conduct some sort of intervention on my health and personal habits? And to help preserve my good looks, of all things?" the countess mocked.
Moses marvelled at Karen's deep Mosestarian accent. Perhaps the stories about this hideous crone and Mordechai the Treachurous being an item back in the day really were true...
"Look Karen, you were causing some problems for my master plan. See, to prevent the Jennymaesian Empress continuing her dynasty through my Chief Spy, you were making it look as if I wanted to stop her. So naturally, I had to make it look as if I wanted her marriage to succeed and for her to produce Jennymaesian children (even 'though I didn't), which I accomplished by rescuing her. So she in turn presumed that I did indeed want her to produce an heir, (even though I didn't), so naturally, she didn't. Do you see now how this game works?"
The countess gave an evil laugh.
"Oh, and don't worry about Jomés Band. They think he was eaten by crocodiles and that only his shoes remain, but ol' Mr Band is a regular Mick Dundee when it comes to surviving crocodiles and the size of a knife..."
The countess' evil laughter continued, and it was as wicked as laughter gets. Moses the Youngest, having quite a busy schedule and getting somewhat tired of the annoying laughter and ugliness of the crone, pressed the red "lower" button for the automated pulley.
"Wait!" screamed the crone, as her feet dipped into the cauldron of banana-flavoured green lipstick. "Don't you want to know who hired me before I die? Who wanted to create these diplomatic tensions between Mosestaria and Jennymaesia, to result in international conflict?"
Moses the Youngest stared thoughtfully, as the wicked hag was lowered deeper and deeper into the cauldron. "Is it really that important?" he wondered aloud.
"Aaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!" screamed Countess Karen angrily, as she dissolved into the toxic melt. "I will tell you anyway. It was the seemingly innocuous Lan... blub... blub... blub".
Countess Karen's final words were garbled under a cauldron-full of molten, tyre-spiked, banana-flavoured, green lipstick. The Mosestarian chieftain clasped his hands together in several brushing motions. "All's well that ends well, eh, Mordecai? Now what's next on today's to-do list?"
Of course, it was called Airforce 0.05 as it was the detachable, unneeded portion of the rest of Mosestaria's technological wonder for transporting its leader in times of crisis - Airforce 0.95. Leaders of other nations, particularly the Jennymaesian Empress and the terrorist leader residing in the badlands formerly known as Rubyland, often joked about Airforce 0.05 as being small, useless and totally inadequate for the safe-keeping of any leader - especially such an illustrious and charismatic leader as the Mosestarian chieftain - which it was, but unbeknownest to these, this was not Airforce 0.05's purpose. The purpose of this remotely controlled component was actually to be a separable and expendable decoy for Airforce 0.95 - and this job it did admirably.
"Six bogies identified as Stilletto fighters on an intercept vector with Airforce 0.05", updated the first officer over the bathroom intercom.
A brief smirk passed over the Mosestarian's chiefdom's face, but it might have been interpreted by onlookers less astute to the Chieftain's body-language as a short but angry seethe. He secretly enjoyed the thought that the alliance of Jennymaesia and Rubyland believed that it could outwit him, although he also knew that their endeavour was as likely to succeed as Jane Goodall's admittance into the Gombe Stream chimpanzee troupe had of producing the first chimp chess Grandmaster.
"Keep those Stilleto fighters busy, first officer", replied the Chieftain over the intercom. "Detour them all the way to Lanolinland over the sea if you need to. They'll be an outrage there, if they cause any environmental damage with their warmongering. Meanwhile, hold our course steady."
Mordecai, his faithful cousin, was waiting in the interrogation room when the Chieftain entered. Countess Karen was bound hand and foot, precariously dangling from a rope over a cauldron of molten green lipstick, with some pieces of melted car-tyre added in to spike the mixture. The rope the Countess was dangling from was in turn affixed to an automated pulley.
As Countess Karen slowly rotated on her rope to face the Mosestarian Chieftain, even his poker-face could not totally hide his disgust. To say that she was less beautiful than the ugly Shittimistanian duckling would have been an understatement. In previous, less kind ages, she might even have featured as a circus-star based on her gender and the quantity of facial hair she had growing.
"So we meet at last, Countess Karen", the Mosestarian chieftain began.
"Moses the Young(er)" the countess spat back, in a hoarse and husky voice. "It's too late! I have already started the war. You can do nothing to stop what is coming!"
Moses the Youngest rolled his eyes, or at least, he would have, were he not trying to keep a poker-face. Of course nothing can stop what is coming, because even if it does, the other will claim that what was not coming was in fact what was actually coming, and that it came because nothing could have stopped it, just as foretold.
"You really should cut down on the smoking, Karen", answered the Chieftain. "You know they say it can age you beyond your years?"
"Is that why you kidnapped me?" snapped the countess. "To conduct some sort of intervention on my health and personal habits? And to help preserve my good looks, of all things?" the countess mocked.
Moses marvelled at Karen's deep Mosestarian accent. Perhaps the stories about this hideous crone and Mordechai the Treachurous being an item back in the day really were true...
"Look Karen, you were causing some problems for my master plan. See, to prevent the Jennymaesian Empress continuing her dynasty through my Chief Spy, you were making it look as if I wanted to stop her. So naturally, I had to make it look as if I wanted her marriage to succeed and for her to produce Jennymaesian children (even 'though I didn't), which I accomplished by rescuing her. So she in turn presumed that I did indeed want her to produce an heir, (even though I didn't), so naturally, she didn't. Do you see now how this game works?"
The countess gave an evil laugh.
"Oh, and don't worry about Jomés Band. They think he was eaten by crocodiles and that only his shoes remain, but ol' Mr Band is a regular Mick Dundee when it comes to surviving crocodiles and the size of a knife..."
The countess' evil laughter continued, and it was as wicked as laughter gets. Moses the Youngest, having quite a busy schedule and getting somewhat tired of the annoying laughter and ugliness of the crone, pressed the red "lower" button for the automated pulley.
"Wait!" screamed the crone, as her feet dipped into the cauldron of banana-flavoured green lipstick. "Don't you want to know who hired me before I die? Who wanted to create these diplomatic tensions between Mosestaria and Jennymaesia, to result in international conflict?"
Moses the Youngest stared thoughtfully, as the wicked hag was lowered deeper and deeper into the cauldron. "Is it really that important?" he wondered aloud.
"Aaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!" screamed Countess Karen angrily, as she dissolved into the toxic melt. "I will tell you anyway. It was the seemingly innocuous Lan... blub... blub... blub".
Countess Karen's final words were garbled under a cauldron-full of molten, tyre-spiked, banana-flavoured, green lipstick. The Mosestarian chieftain clasped his hands together in several brushing motions. "All's well that ends well, eh, Mordecai? Now what's next on today's to-do list?"
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The Empress was fuming over the fact that the stiletto fighters had been diverted to some unknown target a long way from their original target. “Not exactly a bullseye!” she said to Madame President. “No, he managed to veasel his way out of this one too,” the President responded. Her face was as red as the ruby red lips of the Empress. “What a mess!” The Empress’ attention was caught by the ringing of her cell. She smiled hideously when she disconnected the call. “Looks like the Countess has been going through a metamorphosis and her earthly existence is now represented by a banana flavored, green substance,” the Empress said out cheerfully loud. The President lightened up and added, “she’s probably never been more beautiful and better smelling than now.” They were both amused by the thought of the Countess total makeover.
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President Lanolin swears she has read this in a book before and that recent events must be fufilling an ancient prophecy of some sort about the end of the world.
She thinks it must have been this book, published way back in 2020, before Rubyland, Mosestaria, Jennymeasia ever came to be.
She thinks it must have been this book, published way back in 2020, before Rubyland, Mosestaria, Jennymeasia ever came to be.
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"Better jettison the Countess, before we do much more, sir", answered Mordecai matter-of-factly..
"Quite", responded the Chieftain. "Smithers!", he called, for that was the name of the cleaner. "Smithers, I want you to vacuum all this foul-smelling waste out of the cauldron, bundle it up in drums, appropriately label it as "toxic", and jettison it over the next unfriendly nation we pass over."
"Bad news, sir," the first officer's voice interrupted gravely over the Interrogation Room intercom. "Airforce 0.05 has been lost. It was a relentless pursuit, but we decided to have the 0.05 conduct a quick mercy mission to airlift an injured guinea pig within a nature reserve in Lanolinland... You know, to score political brownie-points given our current diplomatic status as international pariah."
"Unfortunately, both the nation of Jennymaesia and the terrorists occupying Rubyland consider nature reserves to be legitimate military targets... and... well... let's just say that there's one less nature reserve in Lanolinland, one more massive environmental incident, and a guinea pig who is going to be *very* late to his vet's appointment."
The Chieftain nodded silently in acknowledgement, as Airforce 0.95 commenced its descent to one of Mosestaria's secret, Antarctic, underground military bases.
"Quite", responded the Chieftain. "Smithers!", he called, for that was the name of the cleaner. "Smithers, I want you to vacuum all this foul-smelling waste out of the cauldron, bundle it up in drums, appropriately label it as "toxic", and jettison it over the next unfriendly nation we pass over."
"Bad news, sir," the first officer's voice interrupted gravely over the Interrogation Room intercom. "Airforce 0.05 has been lost. It was a relentless pursuit, but we decided to have the 0.05 conduct a quick mercy mission to airlift an injured guinea pig within a nature reserve in Lanolinland... You know, to score political brownie-points given our current diplomatic status as international pariah."
"Unfortunately, both the nation of Jennymaesia and the terrorists occupying Rubyland consider nature reserves to be legitimate military targets... and... well... let's just say that there's one less nature reserve in Lanolinland, one more massive environmental incident, and a guinea pig who is going to be *very* late to his vet's appointment."
The Chieftain nodded silently in acknowledgement, as Airforce 0.95 commenced its descent to one of Mosestaria's secret, Antarctic, underground military bases.
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Little did the Mosestarian leader know that the injured guinea pig was a paid actor kindly loaned to us by President Lanolinland.
This incident allowed Smithers the cleaner time to save his beloved Countess Karen who was wearing a skin suit at the time of her supposed death. Wait till the wicked leader learns that she is well and alive and currently having a romantic dinner with Smithers. They have not seen each other for a long time now and are currently wining and dining at their favourite Italian restaurant.
As the 0.95 Airforce was making their way to their wicked leaders secret island of Antarctic, they were intercepted by two masked female warriors wearing ruby red lipstick and long conditioned eyelashes. The female warriors captured the airforce and led them to the deserted island of Japovia. It had not been inhabited for several weeks. Nobody knew what happened to their great leader. Rumour has it that he was beheaded. No body has been found.
This incident allowed Smithers the cleaner time to save his beloved Countess Karen who was wearing a skin suit at the time of her supposed death. Wait till the wicked leader learns that she is well and alive and currently having a romantic dinner with Smithers. They have not seen each other for a long time now and are currently wining and dining at their favourite Italian restaurant.
As the 0.95 Airforce was making their way to their wicked leaders secret island of Antarctic, they were intercepted by two masked female warriors wearing ruby red lipstick and long conditioned eyelashes. The female warriors captured the airforce and led them to the deserted island of Japovia. It had not been inhabited for several weeks. Nobody knew what happened to their great leader. Rumour has it that he was beheaded. No body has been found.
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R
Banning Ruby for being too brutal. Beheading is a very severe form of punishment.View attachment 240709
Beheading is a result of calling Rubyland terrorists and that is what terrorists do is it not??
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The Chieftain thanked the two masked female warriors wearing ruby red lipstick and long conditioned eyelashes for not beheading him (or anyone else) yet. He then suggested that perhaps it's too cold for them not to be wearing something warmer, and gave them some high-quality, Arctic explorer jackets to wear. He also made the comment that perhaps the leader of Rubyland wasn't a typical terrorist afterall, given the postponement of sentencing by the female warriors.
He also asked them if Japovia was landlocked with Antarctica, given the warriors appeared to be on foot.
He also asked them if Japovia was landlocked with Antarctica, given the warriors appeared to be on foot.
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Hairy looks around the bunker... Hey i'm alone! I thought i was supposed to keep what's his name from Mosesteria company!? What will I do now?
Then he remembers his precious bride, Mrs. Hairy-
I suppose I have something of an obligation to go home and see how she and the kid are doing- especially since mini-Hairy has that attitude thing going....
Then he remembers his precious bride, Mrs. Hairy-
I suppose I have something of an obligation to go home and see how she and the kid are doing- especially since mini-Hairy has that attitude thing going....
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