The Banned Game

[Moses_Young]

Taking the silence of the two masked female warriors - wearing ruby-red lipstick, long conditioned eyelashes and high-quality, Arctic explorer jackets - as consent, the illustrious leader of of Mosestaria and his airforce snuck away from Japovia back to their secret underground, Antarctic fortress. As the warriors weren't moving too much, it was presumed they had either fallen asleep, or been frozen insitu into aesthetically-pleasing but still warrior shaped icicles (given the climate due to Japovia's close proximity to Antarctica).

"Activate deflector shields!" commanded the illustrious Mosestarian leader (may his jacket be thermally-insultated and his mustache never frozen) upon entering the fortress. "That will stop any airborne assault by those pesky Rubylanders and Jennymaesians. Now, where's Smithers? This place is a pigsty!"

"Sir", ever-faithful Mordecai interrupted the great Mosestarian Chieftain's cleaning plans. "I have made radio-contact with the leader of the Shittimistanians. Seems he finally has put together a band of high-muscle, low-IQ footsoldiers. These are the type that the Jennymaesians won't be so willing to seduce, and we are desperately short on expendable manpower here, given most of our military are still bunkered down in Mosestaria."

"Excellent!" the Chieftain replied in a sinister tone, as he rubbed his organic fingers together with his metallic ones. "Make plans for their transport to our facility".

 

[jennymae]

A shadow like person was moving slowly towards the Empress who rested in her favorite chair. The character had a baseball bat in his or hers hands. Quiet like a slithering snake the person soon was standing right behind the Empress. It was a woman. She raised the bat and hit the Empress so she fell back in the chair without a sound. Hastily she gagged and tied up the Empress before dragging her across the floor and deposited her into a closet. “At last,” she said out loud, “your reign has come to an end.” She turned around so her face became visible. It was the Empress’ spitting image. Oh yes, it was Empress Jenny’s despicable twin sister. She rang the bell and a servant showed up instantly. “Summon my generals, I have an announcement to make.” The servant didn’t suspect a thing.

“No more of these friendly weapons my softhearted sister is using,” she said in a terrifying tone, “Now is the time for the real deal. No more lipstick missilery or stiletto fighters.”

The generals ran eagerly like little bunnies anxious to please the Empress. In a few hours they had armed everything needed for a full blown attack on every neighboring country. “What about our ally in Rubyland?” One general, the decorated war hero, Cliff Woodeast, asked. The Empress gave him a cold stare. “She will know when our troops are taking her to me. And general, bring me all the Guinea Pigs from Lanolinland. I will personally take care of them”.

 

[Ruby123]

Meanwhile Empress Ruby had her white lab coat on personally inspecting each mascara unit as they travelled across the conveyor belt.
She remembered that she must put aside a box of fifty each for her fellow Empress's Jennymae and Lanolin. This will ensure their eyelashes remain long and conditioned.
She reached for her laptop and decided to call Empress Jennymae and let her know that a supply of mascara was on its way. The Empress answered and immediately Empress Ruby saw that she was not wearing her ruby red lipstick and mascara. Maybe she got up late Empress Ruby wondered.
Ruby asked why she was not wearing her lipstick and mascara. Empress Jennymae said she woke up late and had not yet put her PINK lipstick and BROWN mascara on.
Empress Ruby nearly fell over. Did she hear correctly? Did the Empress just say PINK lipstick and BROWN mascara?
Empress Ruby immediately knew something was wrong.
She called upon her guinea pig spies to find out what was going on and eagerly was awaiting their reply.

 

[Lanolin]

The Lanolinland guinea pigs were overjoyed to hear Empress Jennymae was going to adopt them
As they heard that Jennymaesia was a land overflowing with carrots and beetroots which they could the. spend their leisure time scultping into beautiful art.

The highly trained guinea pig hackers, however had uncovered something irregular going on with the Jennymaesian lipstick supply chain. It seems they were somehow getting parallel imports or smuggled contraband of edible lip glues from the abandoned warehouses of Japovia for very cheap on the underground market.

This would not help their relations with Rubyland and could spell disaster. Even though, on the face of it, those edible lip glues were much tastier and came in all different colours, the guinea pigs preferred them but wanted to save face for relations with Empress Ruby, whos rabbits can ONLY wear Rubyland approved makeups.

President Lanolin thinks this is came about because of the deteriorating relations with former Mosestaria have led them both to to become 'benevolent dictators'

the rubyland and former Mosetraia slogans and anthems were very much similar 'Like me, you must really LIKE me'
'Like me or ELSE'

 

[shittim]

Unemployed Hairy looks into another income source-

 

[Moses_Young]

"Uhhh... No, sorry, no lipstick permitted on military units..." the Mosestarian leader frowned disapprovingly at the captain of his newly-arrived contingent of foot-soldiers, having been shown the Jennymaesian magazine advertisement.

"Lipstick... Bad... You handsome ape already..."

The Mosestarian leader sighed as he tried for the third time to explain the futility of lipstick to the hairy band of fighters. He was beginning to see the flaw in Mordecai's most recent recruitment strategy.

"What do these Shittimistanians eat, anyway?" he asked absently.

"Guinea pigs, sir," replied Mordecai.

"Guinea pigs? That sounds expensive. Wouldn't bananas or peanuts be cheaper?"

"Well, these guinea pigs were on special. We had them courier-express delivered from some outfit in Lanolinland, I think... Woodeast Hunger Solutions. Apparently, there are plague proportions of guinea pigs in some places, and Woodeast Hunger Solutions - WHS for short - help distribute them to where they can actually make themselves useful. WHS advertise themselves as an environmentally friendly solution to solving world guinea pig hunger problems, and the price was right, so I thought - why not?"

"Well, see to it that these troops earn their keep," replied the Chieftain. "I want them armed and dangerous to repel any attack on our Antarctic fortress, while we oversee the next stage of our master plan..."

 

[shittim]

Hairy is doing his best to get used to being a military ape, but may not be up to the requirements the Mosestarians expect, he still looks kind of stunned and with a trace of lipstick on his lips it might be lipstick withdrawal syndrome-
He says he is more of a lover than a fighter-

 

[Ruby123]

Well I have been training up my own Rubyland military and they mean business. I cant see anyone of the other lands getting past them. They are known as the Rubycats.

 

[shittim]

Obviously going to involve the not-so-fast-attack sloth army to infiltrate before the main attack, they will be very stealthy, although without thumbs the use of weapons is very limited.

 

[Lanolin]

lanolinland guinea pigs hackers have uncovered woodeast hunger solutions is actually a company registered in Japovia, still exporting edible lip glues. They also have a stash of frozen tomatoes imported from Shittimstan, which they pass off as their own frozen tomato balls. Grown in shittimastan, frozen in Japovia.

Japovia is the land that is permanently on ice when they mistakenly ordered too many clouds from Lanolinland using a shark loan from former Mosetaria who then charged them a terrible amount of interest so they went bankrupt, and now the exiled Mosterians have taken over Japovia and their eternal winter which will take several years to thaw.

Shittimstanias developed cravings for edible lip glues and are not eating guinea pigs at all now they have gone vegetarian. Its all the rage. The edible lip glues are even more tastier when eaten with their artificially moa flavoured pringles.

I would advise the Rubylanders to beware of those exiled Mosetarians from Japovia because they will go after her bunnies next...they have ruthless plans to turn them into bunny slippers now they discovered a use for their abandoned tyres to use as the soles and want them back.

her cat army may be no match for mosetarians appetite for destruction and world domination. She will need to change tactics when it was found the cats army backfired and started sniffing too much catnip once they got into the army.

 

[shittim]

Yep, looks like the Rubylander cat army has snoot full of cat nip, no longer the lean mean fighting machines previously held in awe-

 

[jennymae]

Hairy is doing his best to get used to being a military ape, but may not be up to the requirements the Mosestarians expect, he still looks kind of stunned and with a trace of lipstick on his lips it might be lipstick withdrawal syndrome-
He says he is more of a lover than a fighter-

Lipstick withdrawal syndrome is a serious condition. Same goes for mascara withdrawal. Whenever you’ve been on these substances for a period of time and then one day you abstain from them, you will suffer from bad hallucinations best seen in your mirror. The old hag looking back at you is unfortunately not a hallucination but indeed the gross truth about yourself. I can see that this hits Hairy harder than anybody. He should do his quitting more slowly. Maybe he should apply mascara to just one eyelash and only lipstick for his upper lip. Take my word for it. I’m a seasoned makeupaholic. 😂

 

[jennymae]

"Uhhh... No, sorry, no lipstick permitted on military units..." the Mosestarian leader frowned disapprovingly at the captain of his newly-arrived contingent of foot-soldiers, having been shown the Jennymaesian magazine advertisement.

"Lipstick... Bad... You handsome ape already..."

The Mosestarian leader sighed as he tried for the third time to explain the futility of lipstick to the hairy band of fighters. He was beginning to see the flaw in Mordecai's most recent recruitment strategy.

"What do these Shittimistanians eat, anyway?" he asked absently.

"Guinea pigs, sir," replied Mordecai.

"Guinea pigs? That sounds expensive. Wouldn't bananas or peanuts be cheaper?"

"Well, these guinea pigs were on special. We had them courier-express delivered from some outfit in Lanolinland, I think... Woodeast Hunger Solutions. Apparently, there are plague proportions of guinea pigs in some places, and Woodeast Hunger Solutions - WHS for short - help distribute them to where they can actually make themselves useful. WHS advertise themselves as an environmentally friendly solution to solving world guinea pig hunger problems, and the price was right, so I thought - why not?"

"Well, see to it that these troops earn their keep," replied the Chieftain. "I want them armed and dangerous to repel any attack on our Antarctic fortress, while we oversee the next stage of our master plan..."

The Empress has finally managed to apprehend her evil twin sister. She’s now sent off to Shittimistan as our goodwill ambassador. Hopefully she’ll stay there.

The Empress has today sent a team of construction workers to Antarctica to make a lipstick factory. Amongst them are a band of counterespionage agents trying to reveal the whereabouts of the Mosestarian resistance. She also has initiated a bilateral relationship with the local penguins and they are now searching days on end for the Mosestarians. The penguin brigadier says that they will track them down in less than 48 hours.

The Empress wants nothing but peace, and in that regard she offers the Mosestarians relatively comfortable POW camps on the condition that they surrender immediately.

 

[Lanolin]

Turns out guinea pig hackers found that Mosetarians 000007 had led the Jennymaesian penguin brigadier on the wrong trail. The chieftain was not hiding in Antarctica after all. Its a graveyard for scenic flights and only home to penguins. Since mosetarians all wear green lipstick they would stand out like a sore thumb in amongst all those birds who...dont have lips.

It was another frozen land further north formerly Japovia ...in the NORTH pole. Close to where Santa Claus lives. Jennymaesia needs to use her contacts in the North Pole to sort out the Moseterian resistance. This is where the edible lip glues and frozen tomatoes artillery are coming from.

 

[Ruby123]

I have a bounty out for one million dollars for capturing the mastermind behind serving catnip to my military cats.
Unlike the other peace loving rulers of their countries Empress JM and Lanolin and President Shittim I can be a bit fiery esp when it comes to my military cats. So I am afraid that when this person is captured, he will need to face consequences. I suggest they hand themselves in to avoid maximum penalty.

 

[Moses_Young]

The Mosestarian leader (may his head be ever firmly supported by his shoulders) has decided to send a coded, electronic transmission to the leader of the nationalist forces in Rubyland - Madame President.

"I hope your military cats enjoyed the catnip I provided for them. I do so love hooking cats onto catnip."

 

[shittim]

The Rubylander investigation into the dealer of the catnip that has been a tough go, as no cat has been will to divulge the source-

 

[shittim]

it's hard to pin down one source,

 

[Ruby123]

I knew Moses was the catnip dealer. I have sacked all my military cats and set them all on a plane to live with Shittim and Moses. Once they have had catnip they will be wanting more. They can live in the discarded car tyres. Although they are greatly reducing due to my mascara business.
Moses will really enjoy being surrounded by hundreds of cats. My ingenious plan is working.

 

[shittim]

Diversion Therapy Weaving Class for the addicted cat warriors isn't going as well as was hoped-