The biblical way to find a spouse.

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JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
12,851
615
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#22
I thought it was because they were 1-800-JUST-ICE and you wanted someone silenced. Y'know, iced.
Thanks a lot Lynx now you got me singing Ice Ice Baby.....
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#24
Thanks a lot Lynx now you got me singing Ice Ice Baby.....
Yeah, if you could go ahead and keep that earworm to yourself, that would be great.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
20,286
524
113
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#25
Ok folks, so who wants me to water their camels!




Genesis 24:10-15 NKJV
[10] Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and departed, for all his
master's goods were in his hand. And he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to
the city of Nahor. [11] And he made his camels kneel down outside the city by a well
of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water.

[12] Then he said, "O LORD God of my master Abraham, please give me success
this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham. [13] Behold, here I stand
by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out
to draw water. [14] Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please
let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also
give your camels a drink'-let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac.
And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master."

[15] And it happened, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah,
who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother,
came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.
I actually knew all along about that, but never brought it up because I don't think christians today can really relate to it, which is kinda sad..

It would be like a guy going to a bar and saying Lord, let the first woman who offers me a drink be the one for me...

drinking-alcohol-bar.jpg
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,728
502
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#26
If ya halfta hit him more than three times, he's not the one, cuz he's too hard-headed. Plus, that could get a little expensive.:p

Maybe get a big block of stone like Moses did, with the word of God and
use that. If you break it just get another.
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,728
502
113
#28
You're putting a major damper on our courtship process here, Lynx.

(You just gave me an idea for my next poll: "Ladies, Should You Have to Post Your Own Bail, or Should He Pay?")
The man should definately pay and also hold the door open for you!
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,728
502
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#29
What kind of wife could I get with some pocket lint, a mummified french fry, half a roll of breath mints, and a really grody looking dime?

I think you would have to visit your local friendly graveyard at night for your type:p
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,728
502
113
#30
I actually knew all along about that, but never brought it up because I don't think christians today can really relate to it, which is kinda sad..

It would be like a guy going to a bar and saying Lord, let the first woman who offers me a drink be the one for me...

View attachment 165737
You would have to bring the cigars though (camel) :)
 

JustWhoIAm

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2016
1,015
18
0
#31
Maybe get a big block of stone like Moses did, with the word of God and
use that. If you break it just get another.
If everything else breaks other than his hard *** head, step back from the wall. I'm pretty sure it's there for a reason.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#32
I think you would have to visit your local friendly graveyard at night for your type:p
Ah...well she'd be as active and exciting as either of my ex wives then.

BAZINGA!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,326
113
#33
The man should definately pay and also hold the door open for you!
Yes, but only on the way out of jail, lest he seem too anxious
for your being thrown into the clinker in the first place :D
 

88

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2016
3,482
42
48
#34
Ok folks, so who wants me to water their camels!




Genesis 24:10-15 NKJV
[10] Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and departed, for all his
master's goods were in his hand. And he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to
the city of Nahor. [11] And he made his camels kneel down outside the city by a well
of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water.

[12] Then he said, "O LORD God of my master Abraham, please give me success
this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham. [13] Behold, here I stand
by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out
to draw water. [14] Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please
let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also
give your camels a drink'-let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac.
And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master."

[15] And it happened, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah,
who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother,
came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.
**** it works different now----God will lead YOU and bless you if you put Him first...
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,728
502
113
#35
**** it works different now----God will lead YOU and bless you if you put Him first...
Oh but I saw wanted a nose ring and expensive bracelet. :)
 

88

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2016
3,482
42
48
#37
Oh but I saw wanted a nose ring and expensive bracelet. :)
**** it's o.k.--- English girls wear these presently...
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#38
Oh but I saw wanted a nose ring and expensive bracelet. :)
Nose rings on women are only effective if they are used the same way we'd use them on ornery bulls on the ranch. Hang a length of heavy chain from the nose ring so when the bulls would walk they could do that easily, but if they'd drop their head and decide to charge, they'd step on the chain and pull themselves over on their heads. Handy.
 
C

chancer

Guest
#39
I thought the biblical way to find a spouse was with a fishing rod?
 

88

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2016
3,482
42
48
#40
Nose rings on women are only effective if they are used the same way we'd use them on ornery bulls on the ranch. Hang a length of heavy chain from the nose ring so when the bulls would walk they could do that easily, but if they'd drop their head and decide to charge, they'd step on the chain and pull themselves over on their heads. Handy.
****that' s why alot of gals are mad on this site---- that's a painful reply...