The Fat Factor.........

[nChrist]

I wonder what would of happened if Christ decided to die for jus' the "so-called" Pretty Ones......ie: This one is over weight, so My blood won't cover this one....This one is too tall, My blood won't cover this one.....This one is too skinny, My blood jus' won't be wasted on that one...etc...etc.... Strato....i'm thinking you have a few issues that you need God to deal with in your' life. Whether a person be over weight...under weight or jus' the right weight (whatever that is...seems that you know), Christ came and died for all in order that all might live. You are probably thinking..."we'll, thats Jesus! Ofcourse he can accept ppl for who they are!"....But then again, you are called to have the mind of Christ (so that will be no excuse). So you say you are not attracted nor would you date an over weight person (because of their' size)? Thats ugly (real ugly), and i'm thinking that while you have this mindset, that your' love life will be effected in a negative way. I (personally) can't see God blessing any union you enter for the fact that it would be based upon looks (lust of the eyes), pleas'n to the flesh. So what are you say'n? Are you say'n if God brought an over weight woman into your' life for a potential mate, you would tell Him "no" cause you don't date over weight ppl? I agree with what one post read: that this type of thinking is indeed "shallow"....and how a professed christian would even fix his'/her' mouth to say such a thing....but God is still work'n on us all...even them whom you consider to be over weight and unattrative because of their' size...God bless...nChrist

 

[Christianrkchk89]

I was thinking yesterday about "not conforming to the world" and yadda yadda. As Christians we're supposed to set ourselves apart from everyone else. Well the world is screaming to everyone (but especially young ladies) that they aren't pretty enough, skinny enough, tall enough, shapely enough. I don't think it's right that in the Christian community we're pretty much screaming the same things. Yah yah we're human too...but I'm not sure that's a good enough excuse at this point. *shrugs*

 

[bazilla]

I mean I have nothing wrong with "fluffy" people, because im fluffy myself. And I dont care if someone is big or not, I will be friends with anyone. BUT, we must look at the bad of being big. It is unhealthy. Yeah we love food, but still, its not healthy to be overweight. Being over weight can give you many problems....high blood pressure, lazyness, and even in some cases diabetes. I have lost about 16 lbs. so I am happy, but I am still overweight. So I need to lose more. We must try to eat better and stuff, because in the long run, overweight will kill ya! Not saying right away, but if you were healthier, dont you think you would live longer? I think so!

 

[Namaste]

Ok... Let's see if I can type this out again without my computer messing up...

First off, when it comes to weight, I think you just need to be healthy. People can be a little heavier and still be healthy. Conversely, people can be supermodel skinny or average and be unhealthy. You just have to know your body type and what is healthy and aim for that.

As for the issue of weight and attraction... I think it's important to be attracted to your mate. Now some people don't like hearing that because they think that means only the "beautiful people" will find someone. But the thing is everyone's beautiful. I don't mean to be corny, but everyone has beauty. And I'm not talking about inner beauty. I’m saying everyone has a physical quality that is beautiful. Now, the thing is, not everyone’s going to go for you… But not everyone’s going to go for Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie or whoever the big handsome or beautiful star of the moment is. Some people will even find them kind of ugly… Why? Because different people are attracted to different things. Someone you consider to be beautiful or handsome may like your type and be captivated by you, even if you think they’re out of your league.

Now this gets hidden a lot unfortunately. The world has an ideal and everyone seems to want that perfect person with the perfect body for their mate. All the guys want the supermodels and all the girls want the bodybuilders or whatever. Thing is, I don’t think God made us like that. I think he gave us a lot of different shapes and sizes and for all those different shapes and sizes there’s people of the opposite gender who think that type is smoking hot.

So why doesn’t this show itself? Well, think about how relationships are defined. People usually start coupling up around Jr. High. Think about the atmosphere. For one, everything’s a popularity contest. This is how culture operates at that time. From Grades, to who has the latest video games, to sports, to… whatever… It’s a dangerous atmosphere and I believe it rolls over into the dating world that is being established at this time. Instead of accepting that everyone has something beautiful about them, a standard of beauty is introduced, allowing for a subconscious competition. This allows the select few to “win” by having the most beautiful girl or hottest guy. This then carries on into adulthood, where the standard is now concrete from years of reinforcement. The beautiful diversity that God created is seen as inferior to an earthly standard. Those who could once love people who do not fit the supermodel mold have been tricked and shamed into thinking they’re weird for wanting something different so much so that they’re not even aware of it.

And those are my convoluted thoughts...

 

[grace]

The Cracked Pot

Moral of the story

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck.. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house"

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

 

[lil-rush]

Maybe I am interpreting this wrong, but it seems like some of you are trying to say there is nothing wrong with choosing to be fat. I agree that some people cannot help but be overweight (medical reasons, naturally big-boned, etc), but let's be honest. The majority of overweight people are overweight because of poor diet and exercising habits.

No noone should be treated badly because they are overweight. That is simply rude and uncalled for, but if someone chooses to be overweight I do not see anything wrong with someone finding that unattractive. To me fatness caused by unhealthy decisions is about as bad as smoking. Both cause medical issues, and both can be avoided or corrected. Granted, people can look beautiful if they smoke and people can look beautiful if they are overweight, but there is just something appealing about someone who treats their body like a temple and is healthy. However, I'm not a health nut so unless I shape up soon i'll probably fall into the same category I'm describing right now.

 

[nChrist]

I personally don't think that anyone chooses 2 be overweight. Obesity can be caused by many things ( medical...poor diet...addiction...etc), but I don't think any is intentional. Likewise; I don't think any should be look down upon because of their' weight...nChrist

 

[nanabean]

I so want to respond to this forum...but am not quite sure how..(lots of feelings on this one) but I would like to say...Thank you NChrist for your last post.....amen (I am overweight, NOT obese....trying to lose some--which btw, takes more than self control)

 

[nChrist]

....Yeah Nana....according to medical research and the age/height ratio(s), we are either too lite or too heavy....Don't think i've ever met a person at that perfect weight...don't even think there is such a thing.....If a person needs to shed a few pounds due to medical reasons or wants to because of a personal choice, I don't see were anyone else has place to criticize (condemn) because of the weight issue....as if the individual isn't going thru enough trial...What is it that we are to do? Lemme think......exhort! Yes, thats it! Uplift one another! Times are coming (and almost is) when we will seek out such a thing and find it hard to find...And Nana; i'm thinking you are jus' fine..never met a Nana whom wasn't...and we all know that Nana(s) are the best cooks....God bless...nChrist

 

[CristenJ]

Nana, I'm in the same boat you are- I don't quite know how to put in my 2 cents worth...but I'll try. Because this is an emotional subject for me too...

Last night, I was in the chat room here, and was having a very sad conversation with 2 other (wonderful, beautiful) ladies. In all 3 of our situations, we grew up with being made fun of, ignored, looked down on, and rejected because of our size. Which is really frustrating, because none of us are obese, just not tiny.

I can't vouch for the other girls, because they might read this and beat me up But I'm 5'9", and as someone else said on here, "fluffy" (that's such a fun word, way better than heavy or any of the others, and it actually cracked me up because when I was little, I told my grandma that she wasn't fat at all, she was fluffy...).

Anyway. I'm jumping around a bit with this, but bear with me.

As for over-weight people having a choice about their size/weight or not, while there are medical conditions and heredity to consider, a lot of times it IS a case of eating the wrong foods or not getting enough exercise...and I think media plays into that a lot too, but this isn't the time or place to get into that.

More jumping (sorry)- You can not have a successful romantic relationship without some kind of physical attraction. But before anyone gets offended, let me just say, I think the BEST relationships are based on personality FIRST (of course) and when you like someone for who they ARE, their looks often grow on you.

One more thing to throw out there...and maybe I'm way off base with this...but as Christians, don't we believe that God has that perfect somebody out there for each of us? And if so, isn't it really just a matter of being patient, and praying, and possibly being in the right place at the right time? Because, I mean, regardless of weight/height/skin color/hair color/shoe size/whatever, God made each of us the way we are for a reason, and He made a perfect match for us. I know a lot of people who stop believing that, simply because they are in their 20's and haven't even been in a relationship...and that makes me sad, but if you start having a defeatist attitude, then you're only hurting yourself.

Anyway, my apologies for being a little long-winded and all over the place with this...

 

[lil-rush]

I have been attracted to a small handful of men, and I'll admit that none of them were amazingly good-looking, but they were all fit. The thing is, I look up to my older brother and dad and model what I want from a man based of their physical and mental countenance. My dad was fit in highschool and the beginning of his military career and my brother is very very fit. If I grow up basing my view on men off of what I see in my brother than I am obviously going to prefer athletic, health-prone, men. I don't find it particularly shallow and I see nothing wrong with my not being attracted to overweight men.

In fact, I'm not a feminist so I am quite willing to point out that my not being attracted to overweight men is normal. Genetically men and women were created to have two totally different physiques. Men were to be fit, and women curvaceous. That would be why thick women are generally considered good-looking, but thick men are not. Historically men were to be the provider and protector. As such they need to be able to protect a family, and they can't very well do that if they are not fit enough to protect anyone.

 

[EMT-NC]

all that to say this.. I learnt that looks has nothing to do with it.. Big or small, Handsome or ugly.. You had better get to know someones spirit and inner beauty.. Because just because the wrapping looks great, The inside can be the meanest nastiest thing you ever did see.. God loves us.. And for the record use I lost amost 40lbs before I started scoming here and I have see the view from both sides.. And there are days when I wish I was Fluffy as Minne calls it again, because there would be alot less hassles.. Just remember we are all humans and we all look for different things in others. God looks out for us all and he will send who he thinks is right for us.. The big thing is for us to sit back and wait.. And yes that is hard to do!!! .. lol

tell me about it been waiting for many years today for that person to show up maybe one day she will then again maybe its met for me to be a single either way i am happy with it but would love to be a hubby to someone and a dad to kids its always been my heart desire to be in a family singing ministry

yea im 40 years old and feel it alot here lately

calvin

 

[SamIam]

Whatever, fat people get teased for being fat and skinny people get teased for being skinny. We all need love. Jesus loves us all. Touche.

I've never seen a skinney person get made of for being thin. If your fat your fat... if your thin your thin........ i would rather date someone that was fat than really thin.... thats just my personal opinion....

 

[missy2shoes]

I agree Sam.............

 

[SamIam]

I find men atrocious that wont date a woman unless she has the perfect body.... She cant have any extra fat she has to be very thin. Or the men that ''watch'' thier girlfriends weight for them......... makes me wanna puke!

 

[missy2shoes]

I want a husband that is worth cuddling ya know?.....not soooo thin that ya end up cuddlin' yaself lol

 

[SamIam]

I wouldn't date a fat chick, nor would any of my Christian roommates (except for Andrew). It shows a lack of control. Our culture tells us "Oh we're all equal" blah blah blah, we're not. People have different metabolisms, and as a result must be able to control themselves differently. I'm not saying anything about the inner-beauty of fat people, because my best friend is like 300 pounds and he is the most awesome guy you'll meet, but my mom is also fat and she is mean! What I'm saying is, it's just not attractive, and you should be attracted to the one you're going to have a romantic relationship with. For most people, that means someone who is in shape.

The sweetest love story in the Bible is the one of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob worked for seven years and then ANOTHER seven years to marry Rachel, while he would've only had to work seven for her older sister Leah. The story only gives one reason why Jacob wanted Rachael instead of Leah:

Genesis 29:17 "Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful."

She didn't have "inner beauty", she never says anything wise, and she was even barren for many of her early years as the old testament tells it. But she was beautiful.

Being skinney can also be as unhealthy as being overweight...... I know lots of skinny girls who eat alot and make themselves throw up to stay thin..... or some who only eat one thing a day, or try and starve themselves as much as possible so they wont gain weight. Would you rather marry a thin woman who did that or an over weight woman...

 

[Kakashi]

Jen, you ain't fat, so this thread is invalid!!Healthily fluffy seems to be a better phrase XD



My way of seeing is in two catagories:

1) friends: I really could care less what sort of shape my friends are in( unless it was to the point of he/she was hurting his or her body). Honestly, i don't think too many people would argue against that as a christian. i hang with people depending on their personality, not their body type.


2) dating: who a person dates is up to them. Honestly, if you're a christian as long as you;re dateing another christian whom you liek their personality, your bodily, racial or whatever preferences are up to you as long as it does not carry over into how you treat other people general. I think sometimes we do reverse discrimination. if one guy prefers fluffier girls then we don't see a problem with that, but dare man say he likes skinner girls and suddenly the man is shallow. And i think, well as long as that guy don't like ignore other girls in life period then it's now shallow, it's just preference.

So, basically, don't reverse discriminate lol

 

[southgal]

I AM OVERWEIGHT. I HAVE LOST APPROX. 37 LBS. THIS YEAR SO FAR. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY ENERGETIC, SO I'M NOT LAZY. I DRESS WELL (EXCEPT FOR WHEN I DO YARD WORK), SO I'M NOT A SLOB. AND AS FAR AS PORTION CONTROL AND SELF CONTROL, I ATE LESS BEFORE I STARTED LOSING WEIGHT THAN I DO NOW,I JUST MAKE BETTER CHOICES. AND I AM SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THE HEALTH RISKS OF BEING FLUFFY, IN FACT I HAVE A VERY HIGH I.Q. SO, IF I'M NOT A DUMB,LAZY, SLOB,WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF PORTION CONTROL AND LITTLE OR NO SELF CONTROL,THEN WHY AM I FAT?

#1--AS I GOT OLDER AND PROGRESSED IN SCHOOL I WAS REQUIRED TO DO MORE HOME WORK, SO I HAD LESS OUTSIDE TIME.

#2--I HAD A PROBLEM WITH DEPRESSION FOR ABOUT 2 1/2 YEARS WHEN I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HOW LARGE I WAS GETTING. I TRIED TO EAT THE PAIN
AWAY.

#3--FINALLY, GENETICS.

THROUGH MY PAIN AND STRUGGLES, I HAVE LEARNED,AND I AM STILL LEARNING, NOT TO JUDGE BY LOOKS BUT RATHER BY WHAT GOD LOOKS AT. THE PERSON THAT'S ON THE INSIDE OF THAT IMPERFECT SHELL WE CALL SKIN.

 

[Goobywooby]

I think it is more about health reasons than asthetic reasons of being overweight. Being overweight you greatly increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other diseases. You just have to look at those rates of diseases and the differences in lifestyle such as a country like USA, Australia, England and counties with much lower rates such as Japan and Mediterianian counties. They eat whole lot more natural food, fruit and vegetables, wholegrains and less refined, take away foods, sugary, fatty foods in boxes.

I know most people wouldn't want to marry a smoker or an excessive drinker due to the health problems they are likely to receive in later life. The same with someone who is overweight, not active and eats rubbish food. Even "skinny" people can be fat and unhealthy too, They have a lot of fat inside their organs and in their muscles and will lead to health problems too and in worse than an overweight but active person.

The are many bible verses that talk agianst the sin of gluttony which is not preached in churches. Churches tend to focus on the sins of lust, immorality, drunkeness but if we are serious christians we should try to not sin in all areas of our lives and honour him. 1 Corinthians 6:19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

So I want to encourage you all to start looking after yourselves. Get educated about nutrition and exercise. Everyone can lose weight and be healthy and make a difference. It doesn't matter if your culture, family and friends are unhealthy and eat a lot of junk food. Our culture is full of sex and immorilty but it does not mean we should join with them. The same with our nutrition and lifestyle. Even making a few changes can make a difference such as giving up softdrink and change to water, only have takeaway once a week or month. Read your labels for nutrition and have an idea of what you are putting into your mouths. Have 5-6 small healthy meals per day to boost your metabilism.

So I don't think it is nesarily being shallow not wanting to get married to someone overweight and unhealthy. Its just one way of looking after youselves and making yourself a better person. The most important way though is your relationship with Christ.