The loneliness can suffocate..

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SubCruceSalus

Guest
#21
I think I may talk about loneliness too much but I just cant help it. It literally suffocates me some times. I feel as though I will never connect with anybody. Maybe there isnt someone out there for me. Im not close to my friends because they really arent too much like me. Its a sad way to live with only my brother as a friend and even he isnt always there. I crave love as well as companionship but I feel as if there is no man out there for me. I hate complaining but its just.. hard some times. Ive been through so much and here I stand, strong and independent yet alone.
Well, don't know if it'll help at all, but you're in the same boat as me. My best friend is my little sis, we hang out all the time and spend a lot of time together. I don't have any friends at all for the exact same reasons that you mentioned: you just can't connect. As for getting a girlfriend, well, let's just say in my 21 years of being on this earth, I've only ever had one. Not that I think " the more the merrier" when it comes to relationships, on the contrary, I wish that things had stayed the same with my girlfriend. Unfortunately for me, they went sour after a few months, and I've never had a real relationship since then. The combination of not having friends and not having a girl that gives two hoots about me leaves me feeling isolated as I can possibly be. My family cares about me and my relationship with them is fantastic, and I am very grateful for them, but still, not having anyone outside of them to spend time with does make me feel terribly boxed in. Sometimes the isolation and resulting depression from it makes me feel like I'm literally being crushed, and folks can laugh at me if they want to, but it manifests in physical pain sometimes for me. I am fully aware of the many blessings I have in my life; as for my daily sustenance I am in want of nothing, and I thank God for that because I know there are many people that aren't as fortunate. However, even in light of my many blessings, I just wish I had some friends I could hang out with sometimes and a girl I could call at the end of the day and say, "I've been thinking about you, how was your day?". In regards to the latter of the two, I constantly wonder if maybe it's something about me that is the problem. I see so many other people I'm acquainted with that are in relationships and I can't stand it. There's a number of young ladies I'm familiar with that are quite attractive in so many more ways than just their looks, yet they're in relationships with utter idiots that could most aptly be labelled "Knuckle-draggers". It seems no matter what I do or say, I just don't seem to have what any girl wants, so usually I keep to myself and keep my head down. So yeah, I know the feeling quite well; you are by no means alone. I'll be praying for you.
 

Crypto

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2009
662
7
18
38
#22
Well, don't know if it'll help at all, but you're in the same boat as me. My best friend is my little sis, we hang out all the time and spend a lot of time together. I don't have any friends at all for the exact same reasons that you mentioned: you just can't connect. As for getting a girlfriend, well, let's just say in my 21 years of being on this earth, I've only ever had one. Not that I think " the more the merrier" when it comes to relationships, on the contrary, I wish that things had stayed the same with my girlfriend. Unfortunately for me, they went sour after a few months, and I've never had a real relationship since then. The combination of not having friends and not having a girl that gives two hoots about me leaves me feeling isolated as I can possibly be. My family cares about me and my relationship with them is fantastic, and I am very grateful for them, but still, not having anyone outside of them to spend time with does make me feel terribly boxed in. Sometimes the isolation and resulting depression from it makes me feel like I'm literally being crushed, and folks can laugh at me if they want to, but it manifests in physical pain sometimes for me. I am fully aware of the many blessings I have in my life; as for my daily sustenance I am in want of nothing, and I thank God for that because I know there are many people that aren't as fortunate. However, even in light of my many blessings, I just wish I had some friends I could hang out with sometimes and a girl I could call at the end of the day and say, "I've been thinking about you, how was your day?". In regards to the latter of the two, I constantly wonder if maybe it's something about me that is the problem. I see so many other people I'm acquainted with that are in relationships and I can't stand it. There's a number of young ladies I'm familiar with that are quite attractive in so many more ways than just their looks, yet they're in relationships with utter idiots that could most aptly be labelled "Knuckle-draggers". It seems no matter what I do or say, I just don't seem to have what any girl wants, so usually I keep to myself and keep my head down. So yeah, I know the feeling quite well; you are by no means alone. I'll be praying for you.
Same here and couldn't have said it better myself. One of the most insightful posts I've ever read on this forum.
 
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karine___

Guest
#23
i have felt like that too sometimes, i even prayed once for God to send me a husband or something (even aware i'm not ready for a relationship yet) ,but it was good to happen because it only made me trust in Jesus more and more , to make Him my source , not another human being , and i never feel lonely again (unless i change my source) no matter the situation . i encourage u to make Jesus ur best friend , ur source of comfort , strength, He's the one u can count on at all times , and never ever will leave you . you'll see, once ur trust in Him increases , your relationship with people will change and u'll be able to connect with them , cause He operates in us , this is a miracle, u won't be in need anymore :)
 
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andrew12

Guest
#24
ok...for me it is very religious when people say .just go and pray and just that .i think in this area we must denpend on God so much and pray so much about it .but we must have open mind and know friends God created the neighbor to share and we must know friends but then we can be open and when we like someone just try to know that person and see if has God´s principles ...but i think when we want to go in a relationship first we must be in a great level relationship with God.if we are bad with God we can not go in a relationship.

pastor josh mcdowell answers this question for women :How can I let a guy know I'm interested in him without making a complete food of myself?

First Peter 3:3, 4 says, "And let not your adornment be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."
These verses give three principles. First, look your best. You want to emphasize your inward beauty, but don't neglect your outward beauty. If certain makeup or styles of clothing can enhance your beauty, take advantage of them without overdoing it. And be careful in your dressing to draw attention to your face, not your assets.
Second, reflect inner beauty. You can do this by acting out qualities such as being courteous, kind, thoughtful, appreciative, etc. Guys can respect someone they don't love, but they will never love anyone they don't respect.
Lastly, try writing a note with something like: "I'm glad our relationship is developing and I hope it continues." The best way to win his attention is by becoming his friend.

Taken from The Teenage Q&A Book, pg. 140