Just a few thoughts I shared with a friend recently:
The best three traits to offer a partner (in my opinion)...
1) Being an anchor
A partnership describes unilateral support - that means spiritual, psychological, emotional; maybe even physical.
We all have days where we worry, doubt, lose sight of hope, or are just plain tired. It's my oppinion that, in a spiritual context, a lot of these are symptoms of suffering faith. Everybody likes to loosely throw around blanket terms like "faith". As far as I'm concerned, "faith" means agreeing with God. He says "I am God". I agree - that's faith. The depth to which you accept and apply that truth defines your faith - it's either reality or a fairytale. When you consider something to be TRUE, it's integrated into your reality, and therefore affects your reasoning, your attitude regarding that, etc. So then being faithfull means living life according to faith - to being in agreement with God.
But life is full of challenges to truth...
When you get discouraged, the idea that you can get past whatever you're going through - that it's only a temporary circumstance and that life's too short to get caught up in the little things - is being challenged by outside influences. You may need someone to remind you of truth. Things will turn out for good. You're okay and can have confidence that you'll get through it. And God is still God - He's in control and has your interests at heart. A reminder not to worry.
When you worry or feel insecure - again, it's because the world's challenges to truth are getting at you... you need someone to remind you of what reality is. They won't let you be dragged through the proverbial mud by lies and doubts and insecurities. They should be an anchor to reality and truth - and that's why it's so important to AGREE on what truth is spiritually... because you're asking that other person in the relationship to be your anchor. A real friend will challenge you to maturity; spur you on and help you grow into a deeper relationship with Christ in all things. I want that to be that for my wife some day.. so she'll always know she's loved, appreciated, secure, and therefore excited to continue to grow together.
2) Being a confidant
Communication is so important. Partners need to be able to be open with eachother. There's a lot of trust involved... Sometimes it's preemptive, as in talking about things that bother you or things that you need. Sometimes it's current, as in sharing what you're going through in order to collect your own thoughts and gain insight. Other times it's reactionary, like having to confess something or ask for forgiveness. All of these things involve grace and mercy, knowing that at some point,without exception, we will all find ourselves on the other end of these conversations.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Part of it means being able to make yourself vulnerable to someone. The other part means being merciful because someone else is vulnerable to you. They can are an equal challenge. Again, it takes trust. People fail. That's why we need God. Invite him to be at the center of your relationship and the focus of what you do and He'll work things out.
3) Being my best friend
I'm a goofball. I'm random, silly, playful and spontanious. I love sharing experiences, and being able to joke and play with my friends. I love being able to develop group comradery, as well as individual comradery that comes from the afore mentioned traits. I love my friends dearly, and I think it's important to be able to integrate friends (from both people) into a relationship - real friends are a part of who you are. I feel that a man's core friends should be men; brothers - Godly guys who will hold you accountable and lift you up - offer advice and keep you acting right. I think girls should have the same from other girls. When a couple get together, obviously priorities will be rearranged - she will be my best friend and my highest priority, but there needs to be a place for friends too.
What happened to my last relationship?
We weren't compatible in terms of our core values and beliefs, but I decided to turn a blind eye to that and refused to deal with it. I was immature. I didn't pursue God first and so we started down a slope of compromise that was unmaintainable and finally broke us up. I failed at being a good partner and at being the man that God wanted me to be. What she failed at is irrelevant. I know who I need to be and I want to maintain the right priorities. I know that God's been working on my heart. If I find a girl I feel led to court, I am absolutely ardent about protecting both our hearts and pursuing Him first. I trust that He will take care of the rest and bless us.
The best three traits to offer a partner (in my opinion)...
1) Being an anchor
A partnership describes unilateral support - that means spiritual, psychological, emotional; maybe even physical.
We all have days where we worry, doubt, lose sight of hope, or are just plain tired. It's my oppinion that, in a spiritual context, a lot of these are symptoms of suffering faith. Everybody likes to loosely throw around blanket terms like "faith". As far as I'm concerned, "faith" means agreeing with God. He says "I am God". I agree - that's faith. The depth to which you accept and apply that truth defines your faith - it's either reality or a fairytale. When you consider something to be TRUE, it's integrated into your reality, and therefore affects your reasoning, your attitude regarding that, etc. So then being faithfull means living life according to faith - to being in agreement with God.
But life is full of challenges to truth...
When you get discouraged, the idea that you can get past whatever you're going through - that it's only a temporary circumstance and that life's too short to get caught up in the little things - is being challenged by outside influences. You may need someone to remind you of truth. Things will turn out for good. You're okay and can have confidence that you'll get through it. And God is still God - He's in control and has your interests at heart. A reminder not to worry.
When you worry or feel insecure - again, it's because the world's challenges to truth are getting at you... you need someone to remind you of what reality is. They won't let you be dragged through the proverbial mud by lies and doubts and insecurities. They should be an anchor to reality and truth - and that's why it's so important to AGREE on what truth is spiritually... because you're asking that other person in the relationship to be your anchor. A real friend will challenge you to maturity; spur you on and help you grow into a deeper relationship with Christ in all things. I want that to be that for my wife some day.. so she'll always know she's loved, appreciated, secure, and therefore excited to continue to grow together.
2) Being a confidant
Communication is so important. Partners need to be able to be open with eachother. There's a lot of trust involved... Sometimes it's preemptive, as in talking about things that bother you or things that you need. Sometimes it's current, as in sharing what you're going through in order to collect your own thoughts and gain insight. Other times it's reactionary, like having to confess something or ask for forgiveness. All of these things involve grace and mercy, knowing that at some point,without exception, we will all find ourselves on the other end of these conversations.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Part of it means being able to make yourself vulnerable to someone. The other part means being merciful because someone else is vulnerable to you. They can are an equal challenge. Again, it takes trust. People fail. That's why we need God. Invite him to be at the center of your relationship and the focus of what you do and He'll work things out.
3) Being my best friend
I'm a goofball. I'm random, silly, playful and spontanious. I love sharing experiences, and being able to joke and play with my friends. I love being able to develop group comradery, as well as individual comradery that comes from the afore mentioned traits. I love my friends dearly, and I think it's important to be able to integrate friends (from both people) into a relationship - real friends are a part of who you are. I feel that a man's core friends should be men; brothers - Godly guys who will hold you accountable and lift you up - offer advice and keep you acting right. I think girls should have the same from other girls. When a couple get together, obviously priorities will be rearranged - she will be my best friend and my highest priority, but there needs to be a place for friends too.
What happened to my last relationship?
We weren't compatible in terms of our core values and beliefs, but I decided to turn a blind eye to that and refused to deal with it. I was immature. I didn't pursue God first and so we started down a slope of compromise that was unmaintainable and finally broke us up. I failed at being a good partner and at being the man that God wanted me to be. What she failed at is irrelevant. I know who I need to be and I want to maintain the right priorities. I know that God's been working on my heart. If I find a girl I feel led to court, I am absolutely ardent about protecting both our hearts and pursuing Him first. I trust that He will take care of the rest and bless us.
