I've been thinking about this more recently due to my recent stuff going on in my life.
I'm not a cat person, but a cat adopted our house and I took care of it. I gave it food, shelter, love and attention. I would have never chosen a cat as a pet, nor can I imagine adopting one in the future for just myself. However, he totally changed my perspective about cats.
I understand cat people more now than before. Although I don't consider myself a cat person, I am an animal person.
But using the same methodology, applied to relationships, I've realized that all of my long term relationships have been with the same kind of people. Brave, Independent, Intelligent, loyal and non-maternal. I don't know that I would ever seek out a relationship with a girl, who was afraid of spiders, snakes, heights, and water. Or who wanted to live on a big farm with 5+ children.
But recently I've been in an odd relationship, where pretty much all the major red flags are there. She loves horses, she is maternal, doesn't know very much about the bible, she loves Chris Tomlin and Hillsong and all the droney repetitive music you can imagine. She gets my jokes, eventually. She is emotional, but not in a deep profound way, in a life is complicated way. We spend enormous amounts of time together but, I don't see a spark or an A-ha moment of clarity coming from either of us.
Also, I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago where the bride was a girl that had a crush on me for a long time, but I knew then that I could never love her the way that her now husband does. I could see 3 years ago, that he worships her. And yeah, I suppose it would have been fun for a while to date but I could never see it progressing too far. I knew that I would never see her the way he did, so I stepped out of the way.
Here on CC we all come to a consensus about the basics of spirituality, sexuality and letting the Lord lead. Which can be vague but its a consensus we can all get behind. Beyond that, I don't think its right to try and make a cookie cutter ideal for what we should all strive to find in a mate. Beyond not fair, its making what we like "RIGHT" and what we don't like "WRONG". Even Proverbs 31 is not the gospel of "right person". And I know that we've all had bad interactions with people who were not our type, but that doesn't make them bad people.
With the right person for you, you don't have to try to overcome their apprehension or let them change you to be more like who they wish you were. With the right person, there is only who you are and who you want to be, not who you aren't or who they aren't. With the right person all the little things add up to them being more beautiful and complex, not irrational and superstitious.
So my question at the end of this is, what type of Christian would make the best partner for you?
I'm not a cat person, but a cat adopted our house and I took care of it. I gave it food, shelter, love and attention. I would have never chosen a cat as a pet, nor can I imagine adopting one in the future for just myself. However, he totally changed my perspective about cats.
I understand cat people more now than before. Although I don't consider myself a cat person, I am an animal person.
But using the same methodology, applied to relationships, I've realized that all of my long term relationships have been with the same kind of people. Brave, Independent, Intelligent, loyal and non-maternal. I don't know that I would ever seek out a relationship with a girl, who was afraid of spiders, snakes, heights, and water. Or who wanted to live on a big farm with 5+ children.
But recently I've been in an odd relationship, where pretty much all the major red flags are there. She loves horses, she is maternal, doesn't know very much about the bible, she loves Chris Tomlin and Hillsong and all the droney repetitive music you can imagine. She gets my jokes, eventually. She is emotional, but not in a deep profound way, in a life is complicated way. We spend enormous amounts of time together but, I don't see a spark or an A-ha moment of clarity coming from either of us.
Also, I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago where the bride was a girl that had a crush on me for a long time, but I knew then that I could never love her the way that her now husband does. I could see 3 years ago, that he worships her. And yeah, I suppose it would have been fun for a while to date but I could never see it progressing too far. I knew that I would never see her the way he did, so I stepped out of the way.
Here on CC we all come to a consensus about the basics of spirituality, sexuality and letting the Lord lead. Which can be vague but its a consensus we can all get behind. Beyond that, I don't think its right to try and make a cookie cutter ideal for what we should all strive to find in a mate. Beyond not fair, its making what we like "RIGHT" and what we don't like "WRONG". Even Proverbs 31 is not the gospel of "right person". And I know that we've all had bad interactions with people who were not our type, but that doesn't make them bad people.
With the right person for you, you don't have to try to overcome their apprehension or let them change you to be more like who they wish you were. With the right person, there is only who you are and who you want to be, not who you aren't or who they aren't. With the right person all the little things add up to them being more beautiful and complex, not irrational and superstitious.
So my question at the end of this is, what type of Christian would make the best partner for you?
. I ultimately want to be with someone who has a heart for God and strives to live it out. Someone that I could admire in so many aspects and look up to, feeling secure and knowing that I can trust him to lead the relationship. Someone who loves life and can just have fun. And definitely someone where we can laugh at each other and bring out the best in one another. I would love to have someone who we can play music and worship the Lord together, but musical talent is not a must.
