There isn't an Objective Ideal Partner we can agree on.

[RachelP03]

I was thinking almost the same thing today as I was thinking of my ex. Spiritually we were on the right page, same morals, same values, grew up with same beliefs, but there were things about each other we didnt like. We have different personalities and the way we even hear things are totally different. What one says, the other takes a complete different way and yet, we both felt like God told us we were for each other. We arnt together now, but we both are working ourselves with God and havent closed the door. Tonight at work I was thinking of some of the things he does, and to be honest its not bad things, he simply likes to help people WAY to much, to the point where he takes time away from us, but he says that fullfilled him. In reality, if thats the worst thing I have in a person, then I cant complain.

I have realized that there is going to be something about each person in my life that annoys me or bothers me, just like I do to other people. It might be smacking their food or not tapping their leg all the time. I need to just step back and let God work and I feel when God sends you someone, and lays it on your heart, you see them different and learn to grow to love them even when its annoying. I knew with my ex, that I would have to get used to it and accept it, cause this was the man God gave me!

 

[Arlene89]

Well, before I gave my life to the Lord, I dated all types. From the IT business man, to the guy who had no ambition in life, working part time at a fuel station. From the gym junkie electrician to the petite sized special effects and animation nerd. From the honours psychology student to the construction worker who owned two houses. (This is making me sound really bad, I know... well I was)

I have concluded that 'type' really doesn't matter in the long run.

I always say, "Let God take care of it" out of my head, but I think I'm only touching the brink of what that truly means. I used to worry about things like, "What if I miss the opportunity to meet them?", "What if I stuff up my opportunity?", "What if I completely marry the wrong person and live a life of dismay and heart ache?". I was putting more faith in my own ability to screw up than in God sorting all things for my good. I was inviting worry and fear in to my life, and allowing it to war against His plans for my life. This kind of thinking provoked me to take the reins again because I couldn't trust the Lord to take care of me. I had to lay it on the altar, take my eyes off the waves, and look up.

Before meeting someone worth marrying, I have to constantly be in relationship, communicating and listening to the Lord to go where He leads me. When I am getting to know them, I still have to interact with them in a way that pleases the Lord, and to love them in Christ likeness, in humility, with patience and honestly. I will have to face the conflicts and arguments in the relationship and marriage prayerfully, being open to prompting and convicting of the Holy Spirit and to constantly be teachable. I will have to face the hard times and mountains with that person with God as our glue, centre and ultimate protector of the family/marriage as our Warrior King who goes forth and orchestrates the victory ahead.

Despite their characteristics, despite their weaknesses, despite their strengths, despite your own, everything has to come back to God.

No matter what you do, everything should be centred around God. These days, I see how God wants to be part of my EVERYTHING. Even the silly little things, not just when I'm in some epic battle in my mind or heart.

You can try and guess what God will do, try and be two steps in front of God, try to unveil the mystery before its time, but sometimes trusting God means walking in the dark for awhile with nothing but His reassuring hand holding on to yours as He leads the way. Then one day, He turns the light on with a loud "TA-DAH! My child, I love you, I've watched you grow, I've seen the desires of your heart, I know all that your soul longs and desires for, I know your inner workings like the back of my hand. As your loving Father, I have kept this surprise for this appointed time. This is my blessing to you, love this person with the love I have already poured in to you. Be fruitful, multiply, subdue the earth."

So, in conclusion, what type of Christian do I think would be good for me? The type that is willing to climb to the top of a tree to sit next to me.

 

[christian74]

I always say, "Let God take care of it" out of my head, but I think I'm only touching the brink of what that truly means. I used to worry about things like, "What if I miss the opportunity to meet them?", "What if I stuff up my opportunity?", "What if I completely marry the wrong person and live a life of dismay and heart ache?". I was putting more faith in my own ability to screw up than in God sorting all things for my good. I was inviting worry and fear in to my life, and allowing it to war against His plans for my life. This kind of thinking provoked me to take the reins again because I couldn't trust the Lord to take care of me. I had to lay it on the altar, take my eyes off the waves, and look up.

Now, that's really something and something to think about.

 

[tourist]

I find it weird to think of Christ as my husband or having anything to do with a spouse...

In regards to the OP, I've been attracted to different "types" of guys, though I can't say that I know from first-hand experience who I would or would not be good with in regards to dating. I have ideas, based on my own personality, strengths, and weaknesses, but I can't say I know for sure. Every couple, no matter how "perfect", will have areas of similarity and areas of clashing, and those areas may change from person to person, depending on who you're dating. There will be complimenting, fitting puzzle pieces and others that just don't fit at all, and some of those may cause issues but some may challenge us to grow and balance the couple as a whole.

So, I'm not quite sure what "type of Christian" would be best suited for me. I know that I do not want a pseudo/lukewarm Christian. I want someone who challenges me, who will debate with me, but not necessarily debate as if we have opposing views or we're angry at each other, but rather explore ideas together. Someone who doesn't have to fill all the silences, but rather is okay with just watching a sunset together, or stargazing, hand in hand, willing to talk but not making the silences awkward. Someone who genuinely cares for me emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, etc., and I for them. Not out of duty, but out of desire to do so.

I don't know if that's a type of Christian, really. But, that's my answer and I'm stickin' to it.

I enjoyed the second to the last paragraph of your post. Being recently widowed I am not at all sure if I want to be in another relationship again but I am keeping my heart open.

Type of Christian best suited for me...a woman close to my own age so that we can relate to each other. A woman who has deep inner beauty that transcends to outside. A woman to laugh and cry with me. A woman who is warm and affectionate. A woman who is fun and perky and maybe a little quirky as well. A woman to be my best friend and traveling companion on our life's journey. A woman like that.

I liked the part of your letter about sunsets, stargazing and sunsets.

A woman who would enjoy a walk on the boardwalk at dusk around the lake..."Look, honey, an alligator..."

 

[JesusLives]

First thing that comes to my mind is seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. I would imagine that means a relationship too. Both of my parents were dead by the time I was 12 years old. I ended up with a strong independent personality not by choice but because I started making big decisions for myself at a young age and matured too fast because of this situation.

I was married at age 17 by choice and not because of being pregnant and my husband and I bought our first house at the age of 18 and 19. I was very responsible at a very young age. My ex-husband and I we grew up and grew apart and we separated while we still liked each other so it was not a messy divorce. He just recently passed away March 22 - he had remarried and had a family after our divorce. I never remarried as I had promised myself I would never get divorced again it had been too painful.

Most guys don't like my strong personality again it is not something I chose just happened because of life circumstances - but it would be nice to find someone who loves the Lord and loves to travel as in road trips state side. Someone who can look past age and wrinkles and see that there is a sweet and happy person that lives on the inside of the body that is not a Barbie doll on the outside. Someone that looks forward to a home in heaven and out of this sin sick world. I could be interested in a partner like that.

 

[Tintin]

I honestly don't know, I've never dated. A genuine Christian woman is a must. Someone who's fun-loving but enjoys deep conversations. Someone with whom I can share some of my passions but who has passions of her own. Someone who doesn't put down her partner but uplifts. I don't know.