THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE!!! (!!!!!)

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#1
But if it was a dating site, what would your profile say?

Would it be serious?
"Hi, I'm a guy looking for a girl. I'm not too picky... can't afford to be at my age."

Would it be farcical?
"I'm just a normal guy from Antria, a planet in the Xyphos Nebula, iridescent purple like all the other guys, looking for a nice Antrian girl."

Would it be bitter?
"I don't want nobody and nobody wants me, so don't even waste your time!"

Don't bother with pictures. Nobody believes them. Everybody assumes you are using a picture from 30 years ago, or one that was photoshopped, so if you DO use a recent, unedited picture they think you must be absolutely terrible looking in real life. Just stick with the words your profile would have.

You can post more than one, by the way. I'm going to do a serious one and a farcical one. (Bitter ones are too hard on the blood pressure for me.)

Obligatory xkcd reference:

dating_service.png
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#2
SERIOUS:

I'm Isaac, a 43 year old guy down in Deepinaharta, west Tennessee.

Things you should know:
- I'm a nerd, so I default to logic. If you're more emotional, that would actually be great! We'd argue a bit, but between us we'd cover all the bases.
- I'm big on discussing things. If we disagree on something I'll expect you to explain your viewpoint and let me explain mine. If you just shut down and stay mad, I'll go away and leave you alone... but we won't get anything resolved that way.
- I'm a music nerd, so anything you say will remind me of a song. I have gotten a bit better about not singing the song you just reminded me of while you're still talking, but it's going to be running through my head anyway. Just so you know.
- I'm a music nerd so I'll be humming or singing a lot. If it gets on your nerves you should probably bail out, because it's not going to get better.
- I'm a bit cavalier about stuff. I don't really care about acquiring more of it. As a result I don't have any debt aside from an occasional car loan if my current vehicle just died.
- I'm a bit cavalier about stuff. This means if you borrow a laptop or bluetooth speaker or something whenever you visit me, don't get too attached to it. Next week a kid at church might have it, if I think he'll enjoy it. Or the laptop might suddenly be a lot slower because I stole half its RAM to boost a friend's computer.
- I don't want more stuff, so don't ask what I want for Christmas. I don't want anything. I'm also not big on buying presents on-demand because the calendar says it's a certain day, so if I forget to get you a present on your birthday please try to be understanding. On the other hand if I see something I know you'd love I'll get it regardless of the day of the year. "What's the occasion?" "Uh... It's Tuesday. Happy Tuesday!"
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#3
FARCICAL:

Howdy! I'm Lynx.

My favorite activities are taking long naps in trees and taking long naps in trees. I also like taking long naps on top of minivans. (It's a vantage point thing. We just feel safer when we can see what's coming.)

Lynx are too small to be predators to humans, so don't worry. We ARE big enough to cause serious damage if threatened... but you don't have to be afraid I'll attack you for no reason, like you'd have to be with some felines. (I won't name them, but their initials start with tiger and cheetah.)

I'm looking for a quiet, peaceful lady, because I startle easily. Don't bother bringing any food for the date. I can hunt enough rabbits and squirrels for both of us.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,197
2,221
113
#4
SERIOUS:

I'm Isaac, a 43 year old guy down in Deepinaharta, west Tennessee.

Things you should know:
- I'm a nerd, so I default to logic. If you're more emotional, that would actually be great! We'd argue a bit, but between us we'd cover all the bases.
- I'm big on discussing things. If we disagree on something I'll expect you to explain your viewpoint and let me explain mine. If you just shut down and stay mad, I'll go away and leave you alone... but we won't get anything resolved that way.
- I'm a music nerd, so anything you say will remind me of a song. I have gotten a bit better about not singing the song you just reminded me of while you're still talking, but it's going to be running through my head anyway. Just so you know.
- I'm a music nerd so I'll be humming or singing a lot. If it gets on your nerves you should probably bail out, because it's not going to get better.
- I'm a bit cavalier about stuff. I don't really care about acquiring more of it. As a result I don't have any debt aside from an occasional car loan if my current vehicle just died.
- I'm a bit cavalier about stuff. This means if you borrow a laptop or bluetooth speaker or something whenever you visit me, don't get too attached to it. Next week a kid at church might have it, if I think he'll enjoy it. Or the laptop might suddenly be a lot slower because I stole half its RAM to boost a friend's computer.
- I don't want more stuff, so don't ask what I want for Christmas. I don't want anything. I'm also not big on buying presents on-demand because the calendar says it's a certain day, so if I forget to get you a present on your birthday please try to be understanding. On the other hand if I see something I know you'd love I'll get it regardless of the day of the year. "What's the occasion?" "Uh... It's Tuesday. Happy Tuesday!"
You forgot I'm such a nerd I organize my profile by bullet points.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,197
2,221
113
#5
I may have at one point in the not too distant past started trying to write a serious profile just as an exercise to clarify what I want. This is how far I got that I was comfortable sharing:

The Basics: I work tech support. Midwest born and raised (well except for various missionary ventures). I come from about as close to a picture perfect family as you can get and that stability has benefited me probably more than I know. My values and worldview are drawn from the story of God's great rescue mission to save a hurting and broken world by setting it right again (despite all those parts when people really screwed it up) which is properly called Christianity though not all “Christian” things live up to that story.

So what makes me uniquely different and wonderful compared to the rest of the women on the planet? I prefer plans and routines and structure, planned spontaneity is a thing in my world. I'm really low maintenance and will be as protective of your hard earned money as I am of my own. I know a little bit about a whole lot of things and will happily learn more or share the knowledge I have. Mostly brains here, and have to admit I usually like exercising my brains more than my body. Mostly brains also means I'm practical (and brutally honest at times) rather than emotional or given to lovey-dovey fluff.

I try to focus on what inspires and brings out the best in me and the world around me in the stories, ideas, and entertainment I consume. So I'm a sucker for the too good, noble, honorable etc to be true (even better when it is true). I've got a mild geeky side so expect references to Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr Who, Lord of the Rings, Dune, Narnia, Discworld etc. I also have a reading problem: I don't want to put the book down (usually sci-fi or fantasy) until I finish it. And in recent years I've gotten into the kind of strategic board games that take hours to play, expect to learn and play some with me.

After all I said above, it should come as no surprise that I'm looking for a respectable and honorable man of faith and character. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you to have the courage of your convictions and to do what's right even when it's hard or less advantageous. I'm looking for someone who can help me get out and about and connected with other people more, without draining my limited introvert energy reserves. And I'm looking for someone I can talk to and hash out all the thoughts and ideas that fly through my head...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#7
Beats me. I've seen them happen, but I've never done one myself.
 

Aldg19

Well-known member
May 11, 2021
579
308
63
#8
Hi I’m a northern girl living in a southern world.I love Jesus . Love pasta . love pop country and Christian music. I’m staying pure until marriage. I love watching friends.
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
1,367
186
63
#9
"Feet pictures!
-$80 for 1 foot
-$110 for both feet
-or $20 per toe
Nothing above the ankle.
Paypal only, will not meet."
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#11
Definitely serious:

I'm Tom; a devout, born again Christian man who genuinely loves God and people.

I also love nature in that it shows God's handiwork, and I'll unashamedly say that I believe that the most beautiful thing in this world that God has ever created is a woman.

From the time that I was a child, I've always been a very deep thinker and, after much tearing down and rebuilding by God, I have a very deep and caring heart.

Generally speaking, I'm very much concerned with the inner struggles that all people face, and I try my best, by God's grace, to help others overcome this fallen world through Christ.

Regarding women, specifically, I'm well aware that you're much more than just a body, and I'm genuinely interested in your fears, your hurts, your struggles, your eternal destiny, etc., etc. You're definitely NOT just an object of carnal lust to me, and I treat women the way that a man ought to treat a woman.

RINGGGGGGG....

RINGGGGGGG...


I've read the entire Bible a multitude of times, and I genuinely seek to live by its dictates, and to share them honestly with others.

I used to preach on the streets of New York, New Jersey, and Florida, but now most of my time is spent trying to help others on a one-to-one basis.

RINGGGGGGG...

RINGGGGGGG...


I was married once, for 18 years, but that ended in disaster. Without going into all of the gory details, my ex ultimately cheated on me repeatedly, and then divorced me. As it currently stands, even with my own vast study of God's word, I'm not sure if I can ever get married again, so I'm kind of in a holding pattern right now. The parts of a relationship that I truly miss (not that I necessarily had them in my marriage) are things like holding hands, cooking together, shopping together, taking walks together...basically doing anything together.

My personal bucket list (not counting what I'd like to accomplish for God), if I can call it that, basically has only one item on it, and it might never be a reality.

I would simply like to spend a nice day with a Christian woman holding hands as we do something that is mutually enjoyable to us both...preferably in the outdoors in the beauty of God's creation.

RINGGGGGGG...

RINGGGGGGG...


Hold on a second...

Hello?

Speaking.

What?

How many women?

They're lined up where?

Outside my door?

Okay, thank you.

1ticket.jpg

:whistle:

P.S.

I also have an IDIOTIC sense of humor.

:)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#13
I may have at one point in the not too distant past started trying to write a serious profile just as an exercise to clarify what I want. This is how far I got that I was comfortable sharing:

The Basics: I work tech support. Midwest born and raised (well except for various missionary ventures). I come from about as close to a picture perfect family as you can get and that stability has benefited me probably more than I know. My values and worldview are drawn from the story of God's great rescue mission to save a hurting and broken world by setting it right again (despite all those parts when people really screwed it up) which is properly called Christianity though not all “Christian” things live up to that story.

So what makes me uniquely different and wonderful compared to the rest of the women on the planet? I prefer plans and routines and structure, planned spontaneity is a thing in my world. I'm really low maintenance and will be as protective of your hard earned money as I am of my own. I know a little bit about a whole lot of things and will happily learn more or share the knowledge I have. Mostly brains here, and have to admit I usually like exercising my brains more than my body. Mostly brains also means I'm practical (and brutally honest at times) rather than emotional or given to lovey-dovey fluff.

I try to focus on what inspires and brings out the best in me and the world around me in the stories, ideas, and entertainment I consume. So I'm a sucker for the too good, noble, honorable etc to be true (even better when it is true). I've got a mild geeky side so expect references to Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr Who, Lord of the Rings, Dune, Narnia, Discworld etc. I also have a reading problem: I don't want to put the book down (usually sci-fi or fantasy) until I finish it. And in recent years I've gotten into the kind of strategic board games that take hours to play, expect to learn and play some with me.

After all I said above, it should come as no surprise that I'm looking for a respectable and honorable man of faith and character. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I do expect you to have the courage of your convictions and to do what's right even when it's hard or less advantageous. I'm looking for someone who can help me get out and about and connected with other people more, without draining my limited introvert energy reserves. And I'm looking for someone I can talk to and hash out all the thoughts and ideas that fly through my head...
I notice with some trepidation that there is no mention of the very large dog who does not deal well with strangers.

My first guess is you are keeping that bit of information to yourself as a surprise to scare off possible suitors.

My second guess is you are keeping that bit of information to yourself as a surprise to use as a litmus test to see how possible suitors deal with a belligerent dog.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,197
2,221
113
#16
I notice with some trepidation that there is no mention of the very large dog who does not deal well with strangers.

My first guess is you are keeping that bit of information to yourself as a surprise to scare off possible suitors.

My second guess is you are keeping that bit of information to yourself as a surprise to use as a litmus test to see how possible suitors deal with a belligerent dog.
Your third guess will be the correct one.... that said document was composed before that dog became part of my life. And now taking care of my puppy dog is taking up so much of my time I don't have time to think about relationships and dating.

But for the record she's not that large, only about 50 lbs.
 

jennymae

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2020
887
404
63
38
#17
Nice going, lynx😁

Here’s my dating profile:

Redneck girl from LA (that’s lower Alabama and not Los Angeles), short as they come, ginger as a bonfire on its dying day, freckles like a battered drunk, pitchin’ fits like an alligator at a tailgate party, rooting for the Crimson Tide, two kids nearbout grown ups, a runaway husband and a thing for antebellum architecture...looks like I’m staying single for the next three decades. 😂
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,816
6,185
113
#18
Your third guess will be the correct one.... that said document was composed before that dog became part of my life. And now taking care of my puppy dog is taking up so much of my time I don't have time to think about relationships and dating.

But for the record she's not that large, only about 50 lbs.
Third guess? That would have been my fifth. My third would have had something to do with the qualms you have expressed about being able to adapt to the dog, and the possibility that you think the dog will not be around when you find a date.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
5,969
2,916
113
#19
The name "Christian Singles Forum" makes people think it is being used in the context of dating, but then people say it isn't. So it's just another Christian forum like any other with a lot less Bible discussion. Why not drop the pretense and just merge this with the Miscellaneous formum?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,937
15,117
113
67
Tennessee
#20
By your own account you already got a good one, so you don't have to give a fig about dates.
How very true my friend. I no longer give a fig about dates. Chilli today, hot tomale. :)